girl's room

Eggnog Lattes and Me-Time

2011-11-02T18:55:00.001-04:00

Eggnog Latte's are back at Starbucks, harkening back to days of sitting in this establishment for many an unproductive hour. These days, I prefer smaller cafes that are quieter and less frequented by stressed out students. And I have to say, their Christmas cups this year aren't really that impressive. But there's still something comfortable about sitting here blogging and sipping my latte. It gives me the silly illusion that I won't have to get up and go to work tomorrow. And that I'm somehow tech savvy.

I like being by myself, but I miss coffee dates.

That's what places like this are good for, really. Wrapping cold hands around warm cups, catching up with a friend you pretty much see every day anyway. It's too bad my main coffee-shop squeeze is down under! (Hi Bee!)

Aside: Today at work, an old man 'wink and gun'ed me. I think my main question would be ... why do people think it's acceptable to do such things?

Only two days until the weekend comes again.

Weekend Culture

2011-10-28T18:48:00.000-04:00

Work was actually okay today-- which, I think was in part because it's Friday and the momentum of weekend-anticipation gave me adrenaline. Isn't it funny, the culture of the weekend? For a while, I really wasn't understanding what the buzz was all about seeing as my weekends were the same as my weekdays. I miss having more time but it's also kind of nice to have motivation to do interesting things on the weekend since I can't during the week.

Also, we had free work breakfast at the Daily Grill this morning and I got a ride to work. I'm not sure whether it was eggs and homefries (fantastic homefries!) that made me happy or just the fact that I didn't have to trek through the frigid fall air at 7:30 in the morning because I got a ride there. Probably both. Also, sometimes funny things happen at work and that cuts through the drudgery a little.

I'm also fairly certain I'd make a pretty damn good personal assistant now judging by the intense calling and tact I had to employ to book certain appointments. ha...

At the moment, I'm sitting in Coffee Culture in Kitchener, which, is not a location I typically enjoy. But there is free wi-fi. I'm waiting for my 7:30 bus to Toronto! Now that I'm employed, I can afford to go places again. No longer shall I be trapped in Waterloo!

I miss Kitchener sometimes, the dirty bastard. I think I'm going to go get a Philly Cheesesteak for dinner. Mmm.

Work Rants

2011-10-26T19:56:00.001-04:00

I'm working again.

Really, it's about time after two months of being unemployed and pretty much laying around on my broke ass. And honestly, maybe it's just Wednesday, and raining (again) and I'm just feeling frustrated with the drudgery and the forced standards society imposes... or that I'm tired and JUST got home because I got stuck in a call and missed my bus and have no other way of getting home.

But today I feel a little crushed by 'the man'.

I should think of things I enjoy about work-- forget about the early mornings, the jolt of the city bus, the cold the people carry around with them and radiate (fucking Canada), the lack of sunlight, the monotonous and tireless phone calls, the perky coworker, the disgusting catch-phrases....

Things I like about work:

- free breakfasts (quiche and bagels)

- cubicle decorating

- snacks

- coffee

- money. money, money, money, money! Sustenance-- yippee!

Here is a picture of free breakfast that slightly dulls my despair about where my life is right now:

Still, I don't understand how people are 'fulfilled' by their jobs. I don't understand how people define working as success, how people take the MEANINGLESS bullshit they do every bloody day and esteem and define themselves by it. Nothing you do matters. Nothing I do matters.

Funny how when I have NO time, that's when I suddenly wish for time to paint.

Herein lies the flawed nature of this beast.

Unrelated: I'm loving the new layout options for Blogger-- perfect for a lazy comeback for my one year anniversary! Thank you, Blogger!

Patience

2011-08-19T15:01:00.000-04:00

I haven't had the patience to figure out how to re-format my blog... I might need some help. I'm not well-versed with xml (?) and I pretty much hate the new default templates blogger's providing now. I used to get so much enjoyment in high school out of tinkering with my blog. And now I just feel frustrated. I think it's also because I have no photoshop or like-program on my macbook, so it's really just difficult to do anything.

Patience is something I feel too tired for lately in general, and I'm not sure how one overcomes this.

I spent last night in with Irina and Jo, watching Ramona and Beezus, which I loved and which made me cry! I know it's just a kids movie, but besides how dear the classic Ramona books are to me, the on-screen version just spoke to the overwhelmingness in my life right now. I feel a bit like I'm just 9 years old sometimes, wondering why every single thing goes wrong, why every single thing I DO is wrong. And when Picky Picky died, it brought the whole thing just too close to home. I miss Chancho so many times a day, nowadays. Animals can give you a kind of love people can't.

Back to you...

2011-08-17T20:13:00.001-04:00

Somehow when life is a shithole, I always come back to you, dear bloggy.

And since life is pretty much at the bottom of shitholes, I think we're due for a little revamp for our tenth anniversary year! haha

Isn't it nice to give yourself the illusion of some semblance of control and ownership over something? :)

Take it from Donny-- someday, we'll all be free.

Gotta find some way to amuse myself at work...

2011-06-14T06:02:00.000-04:00

educational worksheets..

2011-05-13T13:41:00.001-04:00

Not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful and useless in times like these.

-- I find it tragically hilarious, the things people perceive as Sacred. Just because you choose to label something as everlasting and important doesn't mean it is. Labels and promises are not tangible-- only people are. And the only person's actions you can reliably predict and control are your own. Therefore, only your own choices and commitments are sacred if you choose to deem them so, and not the institutions that society creates to bond us to certain patterns of life that we pretend to abide by.

Touchdown in Korea-town

2011-04-09T17:56:00.000-04:00

Landed in Seoul and killing time before we take off with Dennis and co. Dennis is our perky tour guide who keeps calling me Joanna. Talk about throw-back.

It's 6am HK time but 7am here, and I'm running on one hour of bad sleep on a plane near a couple of annoying spider-lashed girls. But nevermind them, I'm in Corea! :)

Spotted a Dunkin' Donuts and had to try it (finally)-- asian dunkin' donuts is adorable!

Pre-Corea Prep

2011-04-09T06:31:00.000-04:00

I fly at midnight tonight!

And though I'll only be there five days, I'm excited to get to see a new piece of the world.

Testing out BB creams to gage which ones to buy. The coverage is actually more adequate than I thought it would be!

Paris in HK

2011-04-06T09:14:00.000-04:00

I'll be hard-pressed to ever save enough dough to finally hit euro soil. And with my recent re-charged excitement for fashion, I took myself to K11 (http://www.k11concepts.com/en/) after work tonight to see their tribute to Paris fashion week which is at its tail end.

It's pretty cool, actually! They have three exhibits that are dedicated to three Chinese designers who had their work out at Paris Fashion Week, they're playing French music (haha), and Parisian-esque decor is scattered throughout the mall.

I've been running around the exhibits, awkwardly taking self photos with my laptop because I forgot my memory card for my camera at home. After running away from a South African gentleman who wanted to take my 'very beautiful' ass to LKF, I found the largest outdoor/indoor exhibit and awkwardly (but hilariously) ran into Steph who along with her fiance's entire family spotted me boothing with my arm fulls of stuff. Poor girl has to spend five days in Seoul with this loser-- woot!

Right now, I'm having my first taste of macarons from Paul Lafayet to go with the theme, along with a Cafe Creme to perk myself up for the subway home.

Vive l'Hong Kong!

Sai Kung Public Pier

2011-03-31T06:45:00.000-04:00

I am here.

Exploriversity!

2011-03-31T04:25:00.000-04:00

Apparently, I'm blending right back into the student culture. Sipping a mocha from a flimsy plastic cup and Facebooking from my Mac. Sounds about right.

Honestly, HKUST's campus-life-feel isn't too far from being at Waterloo at all-- disproportionate number of Chinese people v.s. Non-Chinese people included! (haha)

Of course the campus is FAR superior, with a mountain view of the water, and islands and eagles. There's a dim sum restaurant here. And everything looks far newer and prettier. But the right-most side past the sundial is suspiciously reminiscent of a certain Davis Centre look-- Waterloo architecture grad at work?

I need to get out of here if I'm going to finish exploring the residential areas I need to see, but I'm leaving behind this blast from the past:

I'd forgotten until my sister posted this photo, that 15 years ago, I was right back here in the same spot -- minus the mocha, and dressed head to toe in burgundy under the hideous vest that my fifth grade counterparts told me they wouldn't be caught dead wearing (even if it WAS Calvin Klein). (hahahaa..) Welcome back, subway kid.

She could make alone look pretty

2011-03-30T08:56:00.000-04:00

I'm really starting to learn to embrace my solitude.

It's not that life doesn't give you a choice in the matter, but sometimes it's important to take steps away from companionship in order to better yourself or better others. Or to allow life to take its course and develop a better situation-- at least, I hope so. I've learned that things change, I guess. That I change. And that change isn't always negative-- not that heartache is never involved.

Vague much? ha...

I'm learning to enjoy my own company very much, though. Besides not having to compromise/wait/consider, it allows for a great deal of music-listening, and a lot of walking around in my own mind, and I consider this time to be a blessing even if it's sometimes lonely.

At the moment, I'm sitting atop a crowsnest at Life Cafe in SoHO, on a pile of pillows patterned suspiciously like our couch at Regina/Erb (a little gift of home?), and I've just finished a huge bowl of pumpkin-carrot soup with sunflower seed bread and a delicious organic smoothie called "Sunshine Shake". There's a little latin music playing overhead and below me are many British guests chattering away. The cheers of sports (soccer? rugby?) fans in pubs on the streets below occasionally erupt through the large open windows. Light for my soul!

Here is a little visual (Thank you, Photobooth.)

Flash Fiction

2011-03-23T06:37:00.003-04:00

At work today, a student came in with an assignment from school to write a Flash Fiction story. I didn't actually even know what it was, but basically it's a very short short with a twist at the end. I decided to secretly give it a go too, partly because I find sixth grade homework fun (apparently) and partly because it's more fun than typing out a pdf.

My story is inspired by the nasty curry I had for lunch in which I found a piece of ginger shaped suspiciously like a finger. It's actually a bit long (it's only supposed to be 100 words)-- but I've already pared it down 50 words.

Mystery Meat

"You cut too smoh! Customa comprain! Must eat eet all!"

"Aiya, big enough, la!"

He chopped the pieces bigger now though, slicing with the white grain of fat-lines, each chunk subsequently seared in a nearby pan. The heavy bones, he pushed into a grubby garbage bag.

"Curry done yet?"

It was. The pot bubbled, thick and coloured by the fragrant yellow powder with a smattering of bright vegetables. In slid the meat, bobbing momentarily before sinking into the mixture.

The scowling woman ladled it into styrofoam containers of steamy white rice.

The last box was consumed by a hungry businessman after work, considering himself lucky to find such a cheap meal-- what a deal!

It was dark now and the perfect time for the last step. The woman hastily checked the garbage bag.

"Good," she nodded as the two silhouettes carried the loot into the night, "deedun fohget hees head. Teach heem cheat on me!"

Another quickie brought to you by Tony Chan

2011-03-21T10:42:00.001-04:00

28 degrees today, thickest fog I've ever seen up on the 33rd floor.

Normally, you can see mountains and the harbour from here... today, just white. Crazy!

And I have to go back to work tomorrow... le sigh.

Wireless Wins

2011-03-20T11:02:00.000-04:00

Tony Chan has not one but two wireless networks-- one titled Tonyhome and one called Tony Chan's Guest Network. The generous bastard's guest network is within range from the right most seat on the living room couch by the bay window. True, the guest network is secured by a password but I've cracked the code-- tonyguest. Mastermind, I know.

Thanks Tony! :)

2011-03-08T04:54:00.000-05:00

This morning as I left behind nine dragons
on my way over to an incense filled harbor,
my gaze fell on a middle-aged wife counting her rosary beads
which reminded me of the rhythm of my sneaker soles thudding
against night-chilled sidewalks
and stiffened fingers stuffed into sleeves--

When I would listen to Jewel.

In a kingdom oceans away.

All to deafen the achey thumps

(waves?)

in my chest.

A religion in and of itself.

I laughed at myself then,
because I remembered that I'd promised (for the most part)
not to be so affected.

One girl at TheONE.

2011-02-24T03:30:00.000-05:00

My first petite solo adventure begins by accident, really.

My GooJeh (Dad's sister) has perhaps the most excellent taste in food of anyone in my entire family. She took me and a coworker to an upscale Japanese Teppanyaki restaurant tucked away on the higher levels of a new mall called The One . I'm typically a tad suspicious of places that look ritzy and expensive here. I feel like you gotta get down and dirty, finding the hole-in-the-wall street food places and home-cafes. Really, I learned I should always trust the tastes of this particular aunt (who in fact, knows where the best street food is too). Besides a variety of delicious Japanese appetizers and a gorgeous picture window view overlooking Tsim Sha Tsui, I was served perhaps the best steak and lamb I've ever had prepared for me in a restaurant. After lunch, my aunt had to go back to work, leaving me alone at The One.

And what's a girl to do all by herself by a row of glossy shops? :)

I've finally had some quality me-time, retail therapy.

Okay, so I couldn't afford anything at half the stores. But French Connection is having a sale! And despite the sales associate picking out about ten different things for me to try on, I only bought ONE item-- a grey sweater with silver buttons all along the seams. (That's diciprin! peopo.)

And now, I'm sitting in an Italian cafe writing this. They're playing Ella. I've finished a marocchino bicolore and the waitress just set down a latte. My GOD I wish I could transmit smell through text-- I'm in espresso heaven!

You can't see it clearly in this photobooth picture, but there's a park of sorts through the window behind me which I think I shall visit for a short while after my coffee before heading home.

-- I'm a happy girl! :)

Overseas Rut?

2011-02-17T07:54:00.001-05:00

I'm itching to explore.

I just got home from sushi and window shopping in Central with Auntie Teresa, and even briefly gazed upon the famed 'LKF', which, for a lack of friends my age, I have yet to actually visit.

Before actually returning to the apartment, I decided to sneak in a few precious moments of internet (on the public comp, since I left my netbook in the apartment) to lament a little about my own laziness.

Good food, good shopping. Yellowtail sushi, softshell crab handrolls, miso soup with cubes of tofu and tiny mushrooms, soft tufts of green tea powder mixed to perfection. (Sigh! -- I love eating with people who enjoy food as much as I do and know where to get good stuff!)

It just kind of gave me a wake up call as to how MUCH there is to see and experience here. And yet, for the past few weeks, aside from the Chinese New Year crazyness, I've been sitting around like a lump of rice. Working, eating, sleeping. Seeing the same old subway stops over and over. And over. I've barely been over to HK island at all.

I can't believe I'm in a rut already -- a month into my supposed vacation?

I was very ambitious before coming. And I've got to get back on the train! Screw it if I don't have friends! Exploring is more fun by yourself anyway. You'll see, self, tomorrow I shall drag myself out of bed before 11! Just you wait...

One Week Later...

2011-02-05T00:13:00.000-05:00

Yes, I'm alive. and loving life in the Big Lychee.

I feel a little like a girl in a music video, standing completely still as blurs of trains and people pan past me.

There are so many people to see and things to do, but there are lulls and long subway trips that leave me with my thoughts. I'm really doing a lot of thinking here.

I haven't had much internet at all, so the updates suck. But they are coming!

Time to Fly

2011-01-26T03:09:00.033-05:00

I pretty much just finished packing and I fly in four hours. Typical me.

Jasmine goes to Hong Kong for three (or more) months.

It's kind of surreal, and I've been so busy I haven't let it sink in much, really.
I'm excited, I think? A little nervous if I'm honest, but I feel like once I arrive everything will kind of just flow. I'm going to try and blog everyday while I'm there so I can maintain some sort of travel journal. I miss this blog having some substance, and I'll have "new" things to write about instead of posting sporadic music videos or emo-thoughts (haha, guilty!).

It's weird. Here's my "life" over the past year:

And here is my "life" in the suitcase I'll be living out of for the next few months!

See you on the other side.

Why I Should Never Do Domestic Things or Black Swan-- A Little Too Close To Home

2011-01-16T14:49:00.005-05:00

Fig. A: Subject somehow breaks glass while washing it and cuts hand.

Case in point.

It's a little too close to certain bleedy Black Swan scenes for my comfort level though, haha. Dora, Jo, Kat, and I saw the film yesterday after stuffing our faces full of pasta. Natalie Portman's performance was exquisite and Mila Kunis was definitely Golden Globe worthy. It's one of those films that clings to you after you leave the theatre, looking over your shoulder, forgetting to breathe, analyzing what exactly 'happened'. A day later, I'm still turning it over and over in my head and drawing my own parallels.

I think extending beyond "what happened", there are obvious strong themes within the film-- desperately seeking perfection and finding it unattainable. I know about that, I think. I used to wonder about my imperfections and found it difficult to see the perfectionist Virgo in me. I think that's almost my main problem though. For some things, mostly in scenarios where I perceive Expectation, I don't want to do them unless I know things will turn out Just So. Perfectly. I'm terrified of falling short peoples' (or society's, or my own?) expectations sometimes. Natalie Portman's character drives and drives and drives and drives herself (to insanity) to achieve this perfection, where as I'm the type who won't even try for fear of failure. In both cases, perfection is unattainable-- so why cripple yourself? But we do.

(In other cases, in situations where there is no pressure, I'm sloppy and I like it.

"Watch the way she moves. Imprecise, but... effortless. She's not faking it.")

On another note, I think the film expresses dualities (black swan, white swan) within ourselves. In order to achieve perfection, Nina's character must channel her inner darkness/imperfection. I think that's very true to life. Sometimes in order to achieve an end or to become... or realize yourself... you have to release a certain "darkness"? I'm still thinking about this one a lot, and I can't eloquently express it. But I'm drawing parallels there too-- how easy is it to balance the Black Swan and White Swan dualities in actual life? How much 'dark' can you release (and of course darkness is subjective) before you can't get the innocence/purity back? Everyone's a little of each, yes, but sometimes we must become something to achieve something else, and if you're not pretending then you're changing and it isn't always reversible. But I'm rambling.

It was an exceptional film though-- and this coming from a girl who was almost too chicken to see it to begin with.

Beginnings

2011-01-04T10:16:00.001-05:00

Back to the real world today. Maybe it's silly, but 2011's beginning has given me a renewed sense of hope and motivation. I don't know if motivation is really the right word-- spark. Hunger. Yearning. Readiness.

I'm ready to do something.

Procrastinating on my Christmas CD

2010-12-18T10:42:00.001-05:00

1. What time did you get up this morning? 9:30am... wait, what?!

2. How do you like your steak? Medium rare

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Eat, Pray, Love

4. What is your favorite TV show? ... ever? Xena Warrior Princess (haha)

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? NYC or Amsterdam

6. What did you have for breakfast? Water

7. What is your favorite cuisine? Shanghainese / Indian / Italian .... hard to choose, really.

8. What foods do you dislike? Celery, cooked leafy vegetables of any kind, cilantro

9. Favorite Place to Eat? Home (I'm lucky to have amazing chefs for roommates... for two more days. :( )

10. Favorite dressing? My mother makes this amazing dressing wth parm, lemon, and olive oil

11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? Not a driving kinda girl.. (ha)

12. What are your favorite clothes? jeggings, loose-fitting t's, cardigans, scarves.. bright colours! :)

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Everywhere, everywhere, everywhere!

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? both (fence sitting.)

15. Where would you want to retire? South of France

16. Favorite time of day? Middle of the night or afternoon

17. Where were you born? Hong Kong

18. What is your favorite sport to watch? I don't watch sports.

19. Who do you think will not tag you back? Probably everyone

20. Person you expect to tag you back first? No clue

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? No one, I just felt like filling it out.

22. Bird watcher? No

23. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night

24. Pets? RIP Don Chancho Ignacio Valdez. <3

25. Any new and exciting news that you'd like to share? My flight date for HK is Jan 26!

26. What did you want to be when you were little? A doctor who would use their money to buy land to build a retirement home for seniors to live in for free.... (how things have changed. haha)

27. What is your best childhood memory? Westvale P.S. Library

28. Are you a cat or dog person? Cat, mostly.

29. Are you married? No

30. Always wear your seat belt? No

31. Been in a car accident? Yes

32. Any pet peeves? Yes (rushing/being rushed, not having anywhere to sit, when people refuse to get any food then ask for some of yours!! lol (I will buy you food! Just don't take mine!), people touching my hair without having reached a certain level of friendship!, when people make light of my cat's death, etc. )

33. Favorite pizza topping? Plain cheese, or mushrooms and Italian sausage

34. Favorite Flower? Sunflowers! :)

35. Favorite ice cream? Chocolate or Birthday Cake

36. Favorite fast food restaurant? McDonalds

37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Never took it.

38. From whom did you get your last email? Pooja

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Urban Outfitters

40. Do anything spontaneous lately? Life is just spontaneous.

42. Broccoli? Cauliflower? Cauliflower

43. What was your favorite vacation? DC, NYC, Boston when I was 8.

44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Mike and Fai

45. What are you listening to right now? Christmas music

46. What is your favorite color? Neon yellow / canary yellow

47. How many tattoos do you have? One (red fish on wrist)

48. Coffee drinker? Yes

49. How many children do you have? None

50. What is the last gift you received? Stretchy grey jeans from Fai!

Dead Ends

2010-12-07T20:27:00.001-05:00

“There is a loneliness in this world so great that you can see it in the slow movement of
the hands of a clock.
people so tired
mutilated either by love or no love.
people just are not good to each other one on one.
the rich are not good to the rich the poor are not good to the poor.

we are afraid.

our educational system tells us that we can all be big-ass winners.
it hasn’t told us about the gutters or the suicides.
or the terror of one person aching in one place alone
untouched unspoken to
watering a plant.”

- Bukowski

A little Lisa on a lonely Tuesday

2010-10-12T14:22:00.001-04:00

"Some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
dying since the day they were born."
"You said that I was naive, and I thought that I was strong. And I thought hey I could leave I could leave..."

What happens on a dark-hearted Saturday

2010-09-12T00:50:00.002-04:00

Despite having my first pumpkin spice latte of the season this morning, work still made me grumpy as hell.

My foul mood combined with having little to no funds led to my declining an invitation of sushi and shopping with the roomies. I find window shopping excruciating. Instead, I watched How To Make a Button and subsequently fell into a thick sleep where I dreamed I was in some sort of open relationship with Miranda July. (Which was actually pretty awesome considering she is brilliant.)

My roommates came home filled with sushi and armed with colorful, lacy lingerie. I admired their loot as I consumed my sidekicks from the pot.

A forgotten segue later, P was cleaning out her room, sorting out items to donate and leafing through old clothing items. It wasn't until she asked if I had anything I wanted to get rid of that it came upon me, elbow deep in a garbage bag of clothes-- my shopping itch.

It's just that it's fall again, and fall clothes are my favourite. Plus! I haven't been shopping in ages. I miss it. I miss the thrill of new things. I miss treasure-hunt thrifting. I miss creating new pairings. I miss not feeling anxious when I buy things. I am so sick of rotating the same tired outfits over and over and over.

I know this is a bit superficial... and I acknowledge that it isn't an Actual Problem. (I hope I am not presenting it as such.) But yes. I miss it. Dressing myself feels like part of my art that I can't really engage in anymore.

So instead... I torture myself by reading fashion blogs while mowing on leftover pizza.

Check out Mademoiselle Robot. She has a green dress that is to die for and she teaches you how to make a scarf necklace!:

http://www.mademoisellerobot.com

Prod-tistic Soul

2010-08-21T17:06:00.000-04:00

Something I love about my roommates is that they effectively counter my laziness while still being really chill people.

I think there's a certain healthy level of laziness that I regularly exceed. And while my roommates aren't the kind that regularly have the desire to "GO OUT!", they provide me with intellectual and cultural stimulation. And we often choose activities that richen my soul.

Today, Fai and I hit up the Kitchener Farmer's Market-- which I do prefer to the Waterloo/St.Jacob's one. I got some German pastries and a patty from Caribbean Kitchen. Fai got some produce. We chatted over coffee for a while outside, and then ventured back to Uptown, where an art show was winding down in the rain.

I'm feeling so inspired right now. I kind of hit kinks a lot with my art.. but I'm ready to make some stuff happen today! I met this girl selling prints and paintings who I really vibe with on an artistic level. I love her work and I got some prints. Check her out here: http://www.wix.com/sheenab/sheenab-designs

And now I'm off to sweep.

Productive + Artistic = Win.

Inner Child Dualities

2010-07-17T02:07:00.000-04:00

Lyrics of the week

2010-07-10T13:05:00.000-04:00

Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag and bury them beneath the sea,
I don't care what the people may say, what the people may say about me.
Pack up your troubles, get your old grin back, don't worry 'bout the calvalry.
I don't care what the whisperers say 'cause they whisper too loud for me.

- Eliza Doolittle, Pack Up

Heat Wave Down Memory Lane

2010-07-07T15:56:00.001-04:00

It's sweltering here lately.

So hot my hair sweats. So hot the heart-shaped bejewel on my cellphone melted off.

Normally, I'd opt to stay inside my nicely air-conditioned house, but today I had to trek to campus to pick up a check from human resources. I'm quite prone to heat stroke, and so after I picked up my check I traveled quickly across the parking lot to the Davis Centre. (Ah, memories!)

It's been a while since I've really been in this building during the day when people are here. Unfortunately the cafeteria closes early in the summer so I was cheated out of a poutine. Instead, I purchased an iced cappuccino from Tim Hortons and ventured into the actual library itself to prolong my period in the a/c.

Being here takes me back to a time of scrambling for study spaces, hovering over computer spots (before I had a laptop!), and "studying" in the basement area. Right. Studying. Also known as facebooking, online shopping, and in my case, reaching to find my inner videographer:

Happy Canada Day!

2010-07-01T15:08:00.000-04:00

Three things I love about my country:

1. People are nice.

2. We have good greens. :)

3. Health care.

(4. Tamia singing Oh Canada)

How old is this news? and A Midsummer Night

2010-06-28T03:58:00.007-04:00

Any thoughts of switching permanently to Tumblr or Wordpress have been officially squashed.

Tabs! Oh, Blogger, how did you know?

And as Midsummer has been celebrated and the 'high school summer vacation' is upon us, I am (once again) recommencing my love for bloggage. But this time I'll stick to it. Because I just can't resist tabs. (Possible reason for lack of friends.)

I take small breaks from being a massive loser here and there though.
On one such occasion (yesterday), S (being quite knowledgeable about the Swedish Midsummer Festival), created for P, N, and I, a smörgåstårta-- a traditional dish served by the Swedish at Midsummer. Essentially, it's a Sandwich Cake.

It was delicious and I got a new dress. Happy Summer!

10 Signs of a Personal Recession

2010-06-17T04:04:00.002-04:00

10. Silver circles elicit a "YES!!!" ...nickels mean something to you again.

9. Hell, pennies mean something to you. You often consider rolling them.

8. You're always sober. Even coffee is a luxury.

7. Food is a luxury.
Mixing a can of god-knows-how-old mushroom soup with boiled rice noodles you got from your parents house is considered a decent meal.

6. You spend a week eating nothing but scrambled eggs on hot dog buns your roommate stole from work.

5. Signing up for a lot of those pay-per-survey sites.

4. Deciding to have a yard sale and then looking in the Free section of Kijiji for things to sell.

3. You can't afford to 'do' anything so you ignore people's calls since they are inevitably going to ask you to 'do' something. (This has allowed me to get through the first 5 seasons of Gilmore Girls on megavideo.)

2. You find out how much a crossing guard makes. You considering applying for the position.

1. You notice there is only one roll of toilet paper left in your bathroom and are filled with an alarming panic.

Mondays

2010-05-03T09:22:00.005-04:00

I'm feeling quite 'escapist' today. Citylove-syndrome. But alas, I am broke and... employed.
So I'm stuck in the suburbs.

I didn't sleep last night.
It was pouring rain.
It's sunny now though.

I had Swedish Fish (Swedish berries in the shape of fish) and Yorkshire tea for breakfast (thank you Gabbi).

And, through StereoMood, I have found my celebrity twin, and a great artist. Perfect morning music. GREAT shoes. Eliza Doolittle is bomb.

Lending Strength

2010-04-25T20:15:00.002-04:00

I've been listening to a lot of Jewel lately, haha.
My favourite Jewel song is Life Uncommon, I think. Tied closely with Near You Always.

She says though "Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom. No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from. Fill your lives with love and bravery and you shall leave a life uncommon."

I only really want to be "in" something for as long as it's Healthy, and Happy.
If something is going to make me miserable (even if it's self-inflicted), then why keep 'giving it my strength' so to speak?

Anyway, random Sunday thought.

Cleaning my room, finally!

It's obvious your tenderness is what I need

2010-04-13T07:59:00.001-04:00

Staying awake to keep this taste in my mouth

2010-03-23T02:57:00.004-04:00

Comfort food is a brilliant thing. Especially at 3 in the morning.

I mean, really. Who doesn't love a good grilled cheese sandwich? Crispy yet gooey. Flavorful and not uncomfortably heavy, paired with the salty-sweet globbing of ketchup. Plus, Pooja had the ingenius idea to put garlic powder on the cheese. I have not lived up until this moment!

I am so glad to be passionate about my food.

I can't really imagine mechanically feeding myself simply to fulfill a hunger void.
To be chubby and happy, is so much better than being skinny IF eating is just a muted task. Of course skinny and eating passionately at the same time.......

Well, that's metabolism. (Dear friend from long ago.)

I have no photograph of this sandwich because it went down my throat in 30 glorious seconds flat.

Thursday Things I Like

2010-03-11T14:41:00.005-05:00

It's kind of a cop out, but today's thing I like is sunshine and having a little time to do paint. Here's what I did today:

(This piece is still potentially unfinished. I can't make up my mind on whether or not to fill in the sunglasses, hair, and gum.)

(scanned version)

Monday is for Motivation

2010-03-08T19:10:00.006-05:00

Mondays are for Motivation. Counteract the gloom.

Today's motivation: London Fogs and Gen X.

I spent my morning dealing with necessary unpleasantries(sp?) like Bell and financial stuff, resume revisions and the like. I'll be honest, it's a must, but it's getting me down. Sometimes I feel like no matter what, I'm going to be in this hole. And I've been having a hard time understanding why life just shits on you and shits on you even if you really try hard to be a good person... which really is such a cliched question, but an true one.

Monday decided to provide me with a little lift, though. Kat and I met up and went to Princess Cinema Cafe. If you haven't been there, it's one of my absolute favorite cafes in the city. They serve comforting beverages and bomb paninis, and famed soup. Indie without being cheesy, you know? I had a London Fog and vented about life. Afterward we went to Gen X and I rented Precious and The Princess and the Frog. And then we stopped at the dollar store and Kat bought me various items. Resume tool free for all. :)

It's nice to catch up. And it's nice to know that you have friends/family that have your back, and are willing to pick you up a little once in a while. It feels less lonely for sure.

And now, I'm going to disappear into a night of movie watching and life ignoring! Turrah!

Moment of Weakness

2010-03-03T23:18:00.001-05:00

As anti-relationship/marriage I am right now, I do have to give it one point against me:

I want someone to take care of me when I feel like shit.

Don't need no beat, I can sing it with piano...

2010-03-01T09:40:00.003-05:00

I am armed and ready (and disguised). Coffee. File. Game face. Ego.

The Joys of Yogurt Cake

2010-02-28T19:22:00.008-05:00

Alison asked me what yogurt cake was this afternoon. And since Fai had just taken the gem out of the oven, I decided to take a few photographs and ask her for the recipe so that people who chance upon this could try it out. It's very simple but moist, and quite delectable.

Cut that delicious thing!

Fai's Yogurt Cake

You will need:
- 1/2 cup plain yogurt
- 1 cup of white sugar
- 1 1/2 cups flour
- 2 eggs
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 6 tablespoons butter (do NOT substitute with margerine)

Instructions:
1. Mix yogurt and sugar together
2. Mix in two eggs to the yogurt and sugar
3. Mix in flour
4. Add vanilla extract
5. Melt butter and mix in
6. Bake at 350F for 30min approx. (In a loaf pan or muffin tins.)
7. If you WANT you can pour a syrup over it after it's finished baking, comprised of the juice of three oranges and half a cup of sugar. You can also ice it if you feel like it or whatever.

Personally, I prefer to slather a little margerine on it and I'm good to go! :)

Productivity Take 2!

2010-02-28T13:43:00.003-05:00

I have relocated to the living room.

Apparently my primary coloured bedroom primes me to watch Sesame Street on Youtube and chat online instead of actually getting anything done. I capped off at 3 tasks yesterday.

BUT TODAY IS A NEW DAY.

Fai is making yogourt cake.

I have my Sunnyday Sunday Playlist on!:

Overall, the outlook is pretty good.

I'm serious

2010-02-27T15:20:00.004-05:00

I am serious about this blogging thing!
I can't seem to figure out how to get the Blogger comments to appear, since Haloscan has been discontinued, but I'm not too torn up about it.

As far as productivity goes, I have never been a winning contender.

That is going to change.

Today, thus far, I have accomplished 3/11 tasks.
The sun is still out. This is good news.

Plus, I'm wearing a neon yellow t-shirt that Alanna got me from NY.
And since that is my favorite colour, I'd say it can only mean positive things.

Right?.... Right! ..... STRESSFACE!

Talking to myself

2010-02-27T02:21:00.004-05:00

I've decided to blog again! (The Waverly in me smiles confidently.)

Talking to myself, I realized, keeps me focused and less scattered. It makes things more manageable and designates significance to otherwise minor details.

I have a room now. Did I mention?
Yes, my very own primary colored bedroom in a little bungalow with a spacious backyard and three lovely roommates. Two of whom cook very well and have fantastic taste in music and are human. What more could a girl ask for, really?

It's helpful make lists of What You Have and What You Can Do, when you're anxious.

This weekend is going to be a productive one!

And I think I might make Korean Glass Noodles if I get the chance!

Right now, I'm going to hop in the shower while it's still the middle of the night.

Motives and Thoughts by Lauryn Hill

2010-02-17T04:13:00.003-05:00

a little Lboogie wisdom, folks!

Rotating bodies, confusion of sound
Negative imagery, holding us down
Social delusion, clearly constructed
Human condition, morals corrupted
Trapped in reaction, lawlessness war
Dissatisfaction from bowels to core
Devil’s technology, strategy for
Human mythologies, urban folklore
Sick of psychology, counterfeit cure
Wicked theology, robbing the poor
Scheme demonology mislead the pure
Strictly strategically studying war
Light shown in darkness, image exposed
Few can see through the new emperor’s clothes
Lustful this hustle turn humans to hoes
When the blind lead the blind
Just more trouble and woes
It’s the mind that they chose
Its designed to stay closed
Standard of jokers, court just a logic
Sick looking cosmics, from schoolyards to college
Primitive man with civilize knowledge
System collapse and he still won’t acknowledge
God is the saviour, studies behavior
Trying to fix the mix mind that he gave ya
Stiff-necked scholars on prescription meds
Wishing their problems were all in their heads
Morale dilemma, pride is the root
Misguided from youth, heart divided from truth
Egyptians and Grecians, spiritually dead
Imperially led, by the gods in their heads
Motives and thoughts
Industrial wealth
Global economy, in it for self
Heart full of madness, covered with kind
Pleasure designed to take over your mind
Furnished in godliness, painted in good
This tainted priesthood got real saints misunderstood
While classes in government, set up the veil
And cultivate minds for more mythical tales
Typical Hollywood follies good girl
While vice and corruption take over the world
Motives and thoughts
Check your motives and thoughts
Blind with the wickedness, deep in your heart
Modern day wickedness is all you’ve been taught
Lied to your neighbors, so you get ahead
Modern day trickery is all you’ve been fed
Motives and thoughts
Check your motives and thoughts

2010-02-08T23:25:00.001-05:00

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Shark

2010-02-05T07:26:00.003-05:00

Apparently sharks never sleep and if they stop moving they die. I'm a shark up until maybe 6am every bloody night this week. Besides tonight, because it's 7:30 now and I'm still up. This part is my fault though because I'm here blogging about it instead of actually trying to sleep even though I have a dentist appointment in 3.5 hours. Go me.

I've been entertaining myself well though, through the supposed sleeping hours. I caught up on all my youtube subscriptions. That hasn't happened in a long while. I forgot what a computer-person I can be, because 2009 was pretty low on the computer usage since the pos was broken for the majority of the year. But the guilty satisfaction I get from all my online social networking sites hasn't really worn off that much. I'm admittedly a bit disenchanted by blogging now, but not tonight so you probably don't believe me. I don't love Facebook but it sucks me in once in a while.

Other than watching the 5AG and the Vlog Brothers and Mememolly, I've been perusing lookbook.nu and a bunch of different 'fashion related' blogs. It's really unhealthy to look at fashion when you're as broke and as frivolous with your money as I am.

I also randomly decided to paint my nails. I have my nailpolish in this basket thing under my mirror and I don't have a lamp yet so I went off the light of my monitor and two tealights-- couldn't really see the colour of the nailpolish I grabbed properly, so yay! I'm going to wake up to surprise-colour, poorly done nailpolish in 3 hours. I felt phartsy about it so here are some pictures.

Lisa Loeb - Stay

2010-01-26T13:27:00.001-05:00

you say I only hear what I want to.
you say I talk so all the time so.

and I thought what I felt was simple,
and I thought that I don't belong,
and now that I am leaving,
now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you.
yeah, I missed you.

and you say I only hear what I want to:
I don't listen hard,
I don't pay attention to the distance that you're running
or to anyone, anywhere,
I don't understand if you really care,
I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no.

so I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up,
and this woman was singing my song:
the lover's in love, and the other's run away,
the lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay.

some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
dying since the day they were born.
well, this is not that:
I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown.

and I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure.

you try to tell me that I'm clever,
but that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you.

you said that I was naive,
and I thought that I was strong.
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave."
but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you.

you said, "You caught me 'cause you want me and one day you'll let me go."
"you try to give away a keeper, or keep me 'cause you know you're just so scared to lose.
and you say, "stay."

you say I only hear what I want to.

Life is better now that I found you

2010-01-09T21:13:00.002-05:00

Thursday Morning

2009-11-26T09:44:00.002-05:00

I'm at the PO office waiting for checks. and later I'm ending canvasing early so I can come back to the office to do other admin stuff. It's pretty fabulous especially today because I'm inexplicably exhausted.

Tom Petty's Won't Back Down was playing in my cab this morning! The driver turned it up for me. Awesome guy.

Man, the one downside to sitting here waiting for these checks is that there is no coffee. and this morning it is necessary.

Life Developments

2009-11-11T17:21:00.006-05:00

Working girl

Working two jobs is tiring. But it's going to be worth it in a few months. It will.

Public Outreach is pretty cool-- besides standing outside all day (which actually hasn't been that bad given the nice weather we've been having) -- it's nice to fundraise for something I actually care about (Amnesty International). The call centre seems really warm in contrast now at nights too! And tomorrow we're going to Stratford. Hometown canvasing. Should be nice.

Plus I'm getting more hours at the good ol' call centre

Space
We're getting a house! It has a giant backyard and sweet patio. And I will have a room.
And Pooja is going to make me a tire swing.

Everytime I think about how much it sucks to work so much-- I just think of the tireswing and know that everything is going to be Okay.

"Paul Baribeau took me to the giant tire swing
Gave me a push and he started singing
I sang along while I was swinging
The sound of our voices made us forget everything
That had ever hurt our feelings"

So it begins!

2009-11-03T09:46:00.002-05:00

I got the job I interviewed for. It's for Public Outreach which is this place where you stand on the street and fundraise for different organizations-- specifically Amnesty International and Green Peace at the moment.

Training starts today. Luckily it's only going to be for a few hours but this week it's going to be working at Public Outreach, and then immediate going to the call centre after.

Ah well. Girl's gotta do....

One good thing though-- I found this KW Society of Artists that meets monthly. I'm going to the meeting tonight. I'm hoping it'll be a good networking/learning opportunity. :)

Must shower.

Make It Go Away

2009-10-30T03:31:00.002-04:00

My Daily Forcast says:
You're a loaded weapon right now. True, you can't officially be set on 'stun' -- but you could certainly wipe out an entire offending species, if you so choose.

I know it's kind of crap, but sometimes these things are so frighteningly accurate!

I have an interview at 9:30am and I'm sitting here listening to Holly Cole over and over and over again because I'm too hot, too sick, too uncomfortable, too... frustrated to sleep.

make it go away or make it better: isn't that what love is supposed to do?
make it go away or make it better: cause I would do either one for you.

i'm not angry, and i'm not crying. i'm just in over my head.
and you could be the angel who stays on my shoulder when all of the other angels left.

Getting back into the swing of things

2009-10-29T01:46:00.003-04:00

I'm going to try and blog regularly again. Because I have a computer now. And because it helps me organize my thoughts.. for living, I guess.

I met up with Christie today. I probably wasn't much company because I'm disgustingly sick, but it was good to catch up and see each other again. It's funny because the way things have been going lately, I've been thinking about her a lot. And how Karma is reality. We had wings for old times' sake.

I want to learn and change. But is that possible with a crushed heart? (Drama queen, drama queen.) I'm just saying. It's difficult to be constructive/productive when you're overwhelmed by emotion.

Fevers are tricky too. Am I actually so hot that I'm perspiring? Or is it my body's joke and I'm actually cold like I should be?

Something's wrong with the power in our kitchen right now. The light won't turn on, and the fridge is dark. There's a pot of pasta sitting on the stove that I'm afraid is going to go bad over night or something... well I guess I'd better eat it? :P haaaaa like I mind. It was made by Not Me. and it has mushrooms in it. Mmmmm.

My mission tomorrow: Get well, sell some books, and start up my auction painting.

When you gon' get up?

2009-10-26T01:02:00.003-04:00

(a shout out to Amel for asking that (above) fundamental question.)

(and a shout out to Beyonce for tapping into the emotional side of my crap.):

I'm in this fight, and I'm swinging
And my arms are getting tired
I'm trying to beat this emptiness but I'm running out of time,
I'm sinking in the sand , And I can't barely stand,
I'm lost in this dream , I need you to hold me.

I am not a project. But I am still my own project.

(Excuse my emo-drama-self-motivating bull, but I need to visually talk myself into fixing everything.)

All we've got to do is be brave and be kind.

2009-10-21T04:25:00.003-04:00

I read these lyrics from Baby, We'll be Fine by The National off a friend's facebook profile, and I haven't really been able to stop thinking about them.

"All we've got to do is be brave and be kind."

Shouldn't that be how it works?

I can't test this theory, because I'm not brave most of the time.

But I want to be.

It's funny the quotes that I keep close-- written on my board, propped on my dresser, written boldly on post-its. Things like:

"Courage, my love." or "No fear; just charm."

I never noticed how the theme of courage/fear-defiance played into everything when I'm the least brave person, almost ever. Maybe it's meant to be something I'm telling myself rather than a motto.

But hell, I wish I was brave right now.
I wish I was so many things that I'm just not.
I wish I could at least do a good job of pretending. At the very least.

I feel like a dead end road.

Oh, this is the cycle, love.

That cycle that explains why am I sitting awake at 4:30am cussing myself out instead of getting some goddamned sleep so I can get up, be productive, and prove that I give a crap.

I need to walk.

(I am. I can. I do. I will.)

midnight mehndi

2009-10-08T01:49:00.000-04:00

Futur-ama

2009-09-05T20:11:00.000-04:00

Such a good track.

Don Chancho Ignacio Valdez

2009-09-03T02:54:00.000-04:00

Courage, my love

2009-08-27T20:54:00.003-04:00

Dailybooth

2009-07-10T16:12:00.003-04:00

Me: So I signed up for this website where you take a picture of yourself everyday and caption it.

Satish: I'm surprised you weren't signed up for that already!!

http://dailybooth.com/jazztastic

2009-07-07T14:53:00.001-04:00

This

is

the

slowest

shift

since

before

i

can ever

remember.

Broke babies make their own fun

2009-06-28T19:57:00.000-04:00

I have no money so I'm making things!
(visuals to come.)

What insomnia allows for

2009-06-19T03:50:00.002-04:00

- night air
- watching cassiopia contemplate drinking out of the big dipper
- extended company of good friends
- 'What A Wonderful World' Radiohead and Louis Armstrong mashup
- the feeling of my sleeping kitten curled against the backs of my knees

Yes, I'm blogging again :P

2009-06-18T16:49:00.002-04:00

It's funny because Mike and I were reading old blogs... and as dorky as it is, I also realize why I appreciate this shit. When I read my old stuff, I think "Who IS this girl?! That's not me anymore." That's a wonderful thing being able to physically see your own growth/change.

Some changes are easy to feel -- such as the change from being rich to being poor, which I have been experiencing lately. But slow gradual growth as a person isn't something you really notice and don't always get a chance to look back on.

Plus it's pretty funny reading about "like, how like amazing this day was ^_^ and how much i like totally love Jesus!!"

I'm going to COOK tonight. PEACE!

Today I am a Productivity Queen

2009-06-11T13:41:00.002-04:00

Wake up
Brush your teeth
Feed the cat
Dress yourself
Go to the dentist
Go out for lunch
Get eyebrows threaded
Get cashmoney
Go to Roxton
Gather necessary items

Blog about it.

Get picked up by Deckster
Have coffee
Drop stuff off at home
Go to campus
See Laura
Go home
(Mop
Clean litter box
Paint)

*Everthing in parentheses are subject to changes after bed sighting.

June

2009-06-04T15:35:00.002-04:00

I got a tooth pulled out today and aside from the bloody gauze sucking that I'm doing now, it was actually kind of a pleasant experience. The dentist was this hilarious guy who gave me laughing gas and said "drugs are good!" lol I was so high throughout the entire thing, I'm surprised I could follow directions. At one point I'm pretty sure my leg fell off the chair and it took a great deal of effort for me to heave it back on.

Aside from that, I had a really nice time with my mom today-- we talked about some really interesting stuff that she'd never shared with me before about herself and about my grandmother. It really provided me with some serious insight into myself and into spirituality. It's funny-- sometimes you think you know someone but really there's so, so much you don't. Stuff that makes you understand.

Life's been a little wonky for the past few days. Chancho's feeling it too-- he's nervous today... staring at something that isn't there, hair standing on end. It's kind of scaring me, but I locked us in my room (well, fai's room which is mine for the summer) and am painting and playing some music. Plus, the tylenol 3 is kicking in so good on that.

Things that make life good:
- my cat
- my paint
- taking 4 tylenols on the weekend by accident
- bonding with my mother
- the birthday cake icecream that's in the fridge

2009-05-19T14:22:00.002-04:00

It's interesting how everything is interconnected. The way the shoes are scattered and the way the Swiffer is paused against the wall is so strongly connected with the mushy bowl of KD i have in front of me and the way the silence sags above the moan of the cars that are passing. The way you feel is connected with the way I feel and the way that guy on the street feels and the way the trees happen to be blowing today.

Everything is linked with everything, yet we are still alone.

The Night Makes You Think In Silence

2009-05-07T20:47:00.001-04:00

In the silent dim glow is

me--

is you.

-- wrestling for answers.

live and learn

2009-04-25T17:52:00.002-04:00

A couple weeks ago, Pooja and I were on the way to the bus stop and it started raining.

Me: Ughhhhhhhh..!!! Stupid rain.
Pooj: No man.... beautiful rain.

Beautiful storm.

The winds of change are blowing wild and free

2009-04-16T01:58:00.002-04:00

Somehow listening to Will You Be There by Michael Jackson makes me want to type a few lines about my life.

I'm kind of at the point though, where so much has changed and so many little things have happened (that maybe I would've liked to write about at the time but now too much time has passed/there's too much and also too little to say) that I can't really sum it up. Fai and Pooj have just gone to bed and I'm slipping away too so going to make this quick-ish.

[Long wind blows through.]

Here's the moment:

I have dried paint all over my hands. I'm sitting on the hardwood floor in front of the couch which doubles as my pretty-much permanent bed. Waterloo's skyline mellows from the window on my right. Adele is loving on me. My foot is asleep.

No ruining it with thoughts of yesterday or tomorrow.

HELLS YES

2009-03-31T11:04:00.001-04:00

Beware the Hatchers

2009-03-02T11:09:00.002-05:00

My laptop has been funky again for the past little while so out of desperation, I'm using my parent's shitty desktop in their room. My dad has pretty much anhialated this computer with the amount of stuff he downloads/programs he uses on here. The thing is S L O W.

So my mother walks into the room and goes:

What are you doing? Why are you on this computer?

[Mind you, she knows FULL WELL my laptop's being messed up]

Me: My computer's broken.

Her: Which computer? [I only have one.]

Me: My laptop.

Her: Well don't break this one too. And don't download things. I don't want people to hatch our computer.

Things to do when you show up for work at 9am, but can't work til 1:

2009-02-17T09:14:00.004-05:00

- intake indulgent substances
- come to the beautiful new main floor of DP where there is plenty of room because it is reading week!
- finish my '25 Random Things' list
- listen to calming music
- facebook
- watch grey's?

Watch Grey's!

Ah, there's the silver lining. :)

EDIT (10:12): Grey's isn't loading. I want this:

she really is!

2009-02-12T15:10:00.001-05:00

I called Bee to say happy birthday today on my way to work.

Me: I'm on the bus.
Bee: The BUS??!
Me: Yeah. The New Jasmine takes the bus!
Bee: Wow! The New Jasmine is independent and green!

MMMMhmm!

I am currently making valentines.

Positivity

2009-02-10T11:44:00.004-05:00

Really, it's better to give yourself reasons to smile through it then remember why you shouldn't. (It prevents you from doing things that are stupid and out of character.)

Today:
- i got to sleep in
- my computer is broken but that made me come downstairs and find the tea my mom made me
- nicole found my ipod at her place (which means i didn't drop it on the street! :) )
- i'm double shifting, but that means i don't have to find something to do between 1 and 5

I wish it wasn't so easy to feel dragged down.

Hey, Hannah's got it right!:

the problem with that is

2009-02-09T11:12:00.003-05:00

I'm back in Waterloo, back at work after a more than fabulous weekend and it pretty much blows.

I'm just not sliding back in the groove too well today, that always happens though.

I completely 100% messed up the whole diet thing this wknd, so I guess its good that I'm back here where I can keep myself from eating!

And here's what Story of the Day told me today (how applicable.):

Money Matters
I think of it as an opportunity to find out how much money means to me, she said. So far, it means a lot more than I think is probably healthy.

We'll cast some light and you'll be alright for now

2009-02-05T14:23:00.004-05:00

I should really be packing but I'm having soup and listening to Zero 7 instead.

Got some good new music from Sonya yesterday-- so good because she has decent taste and I've just been so bored of everything on my ipod. And there's really nothing like laying around in pj's, relaxing to new tunes. Not that I got to do that for very long or will get to do that much until next.. Thursday? Here's my favourite:

A lot of the ODAA office ladies say hi to me now because I'm there so often! And two of them came up to me in the kitchen the other day praising my healthy eating lol (I was taking a salad out of the fridge) and the one lady told me she eats 6 almonds every morning and that just gives you so much energy! :) The director of alumni affairs helped me figure out how to sort the recycling. And today I met the director of leadership giving which is cool because I've called some of her files before.

Life has just been very work-oriented lately. Working throughout the day and then hanging out with work people after. It's nice though, work friends are so chill and funny.

Also! Today is day 4 of healthy eating/hardcore diet! I'm going strong!!

Unfortunately, in exactly 1 hour I'm leaving for Toronto-- and I pretty much KNOW everything's gonna go down the crapper this weekend! Ahhh, well! I'll jump back on the bandwagon on Monday!

Happy Tuesday

2009-02-03T11:11:00.002-05:00

Day 2 of Healthy Eating. Although I guess eating nothing but baby carrots isn't exactly healthy-- but i managed to get through the entirety of yesterday with no bread/pasta/potatoes/etc. And last night I bought a bunch of "healthy food" and lugged it to work. haha

I'm having a vegetable Soup at Hand for lunch (right now. and its not good.) and a spinach salad for dinner. Hardcore!!

This BETTER freaking work. lol

Also-- I finished reading Five People You Meeting in Heaven! And I'm going to compose two overseas letters today between 1 and 5! So productive.

Break over.

Fffffffffffffffffffffffffebruary!

2009-02-02T01:40:00.002-05:00

Friggin. 2am and i have to get up in 6 hrs. I WORK SO MUCH I AM GOING INSANE!

Tomorrow i am DOING ART during the shift. I'm gonna sit at 17 and call and do freaking art because I'm at a creative standstill and it SUCKS.

Other things I plan to do tomorrow:

1. Finish Five People You Meet In Heaven (I always say this, but tm i really will.)

2. Eat no carbs.

PEACE AND LOVE. JOW TOW!

Organized Thought: Now in 3 Easy Steps!

2009-01-31T04:44:00.005-05:00

1) I bought a Burt's Bees lip balm today. My lip is getting increasingly more chapped and I'm worried that it will never heal. I can't tell if its working or not but I'm slathering it on constantly. It hurts less at least, I think.

It smells like honey! :9

2) The working-all-the-time streak continues. I think I'm going to pick up even more shifts next week. Today I stayed at work for an extra 2 hrs helping John organize files, which is, surprisingly, kind of fun! haha

3) Met up with Ange today to talk about the Boar and I think I'm going to do a comic and help with a participatory art project. I'm a little unsure about the comic though. Because its supposed to make some sort of social commentary, and in all honesty, I don't know whether or not I have strong enough opinions for that.

Career Woman

2009-01-28T17:34:00.003-05:00

Not by a long shot. But I have been spending a lot of time at work lately. It's funny, to go from being 90% sure of quitting, and instead picking up a million extra shifts. I feel like I live there. Maybe its because, until recently, work's the only thing I don't fail at. Or maybe its because I do desperately need the money-- that's the justification I prefer.

I'm looking forward to next week: Sound of Music, Winterlicious, meeting Maddy, Thrift Store shopping, etc. It'll be good.

A gift from Photobucket:

peace, love, and coraline

2009-01-21T17:45:00.004-05:00

We're going to eat at Stone Crock in 15 minutes, I don't even know what they serve at Stone Crock. Soup? Mmmm, soup. Bitter cold is a perfect day for soup.

It shocks me sometimes how easily I'm won over. I can be fuming, spitting mad... but give me 15 minutes with someone who demonstrates any sort of remorse and I'm putty in their hands.

I want to see this:

art projects and the aftertaste of whopper

2009-01-21T03:25:00.002-05:00

It pretty much sucks that I can't get to sleep considering I've got to wake up in less than 5 hrs so I can get to work by 9.
NTS: Wash tumbler so I can load up on the coffee tomorrow without killing trees.

As much as I hate work right now, I'm excited about picking up these morning shifts. It'll be nice to have a little extra cash, esp without the training hrs i usually get. (Not bitter, not bitter.) And it'll be good alone time to do little things while i call.

I think I'm going to try to get there early enough tomorrow to buy a new sketchbook and some sharpies and pens and stuff. Maybe by the end of the term I'll actually fill it. I have some ideas for a bunch of jewelry I want to make this term, too. But that's not really something i can work on at work haha

Gross. I just burped a little and the taste of Whopper came up. It's nice having Jo back, but these midnight fast food runs are killing me. (Even though they're totally my idea.)

I want to watch the inauguration speech again. Oh, 'bama. *sigh* you make me well up every time. <3

bonne nuit!

send this to 50 people on the night of the full moon while hopping on one foot and eating a pb and j sandwich and have good luck for EVER.

2009-01-19T02:43:00.003-05:00

1. What’s your name?
jasmine, but i prefer jasy, really. mainly because i was always jasy growing up and i have a weird speech impediment when it comes to pronouncing jasmine. i mix up the m and the s sounds. jas is ok but only certain people can 'pull it off'.

2. What is your favorite thing to wear?
jeans, cardigan, tshirt, sneaks. + dangly earrings or oversized necklaces.

3. Last thing you ate?
double cheeseburger @ mcd's

4. One place you will NEVER eat at?
CFC - crispy fried chicken (halal) -- i always kind of wanted to try it but it's been replaced by a mexican restaurant (which i love.)

5. I say Shotgun, you say:
damn.

6. Last person you hugged?
.. fiona?

7. Does anyone you know wanna date you?
i'm too busy dating my sharpie to notice.

8. Would you date anyone you met online?
maybe.

9. Name something you like physically about yourself:
freckle under my eye

10. The last place you went out to dinner to?
the new mexican place @ university plaza

11. Who is your best friend?
pick one?

12. What time of the day is it?
2:18am

13. Who/What made you angry today?
talking about stupid people who did stupid things to my friends

14. Baseball or Football?
football

15. Ever gone skinny dipping?
no

16. Favorite type of Food?
sushi

17. Favorite holiday:
christmas

18. Do you download music:
yes

19. Do you care if your socks are dirty?
no. unless they're wet.
.
20. Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos?
tacky

21. Would you date the person that posted this?
no

22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
yes.

23. Do you love anyone?
too much.

24. Are colored contact lenses sexy?
ew, no.

25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
no. heights are not my thing.

26. Have you ever gone white-water rafting?
i might die.

27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
not that i know of.

27. How many pets do you have?
zero

29. Have you met a real redneck?
haha no

30. How is the weather right now?
frigid! winter's a bitch.

31. What are you listening to right now?
the blows - sin city lies

32. What is your current favorite song?
leonard cohen - hallelujah

33. What was the last movie you watched?
wanted

34. Do you wear contacts?
yes and by yes i mean constantly.

35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
mcdonald's with jo

36. What are you afraid of?
so many things... heights, birds, holes, and more.

37. How many piercings have you had?
3

38. What piercings do you want?
i'm good with what i've got.

39. What’s one thing you’ve learned this year?
sometimes you don't learn from mistakes, you just repeat them.

40. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
holidays: grade eggnog latte, summer: iced caramel macchiato, the rest of the time: the same but without ice.

What Magazines are you reading?
nylon.

42. Have you ever fired a gun:
water

43. Are you missing someone?
very much

44. Favourite TV show?
oh gawd. i watch way too much tv.

45. Do you have an obession with WoW?
HAHAHA! ... no.

47. Has anyone said you look like a celebrity?
when i was younger my parents thought i looked like some girl off nash bridges.

47. What celeb do you look like?
well, then i got fat.

48. Who would you like to see right now?
all my faves.

49. Favorite movie of all time?
the sound of music

50. Do you find yourself loved?
huh?

51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren’t suppose to?
too often

52. Favorite smell?
mustyness

53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn?
certainly butter

54. What’s something that really bugs you?
when people do things to "teach you a lesson"/"prove a point" like hide your wallet if you've left it on the table instead of just giving it back to you like a real friend should.

55. Do you like Michael Jackson?
a legend!

56. Taco Bell or Burger King?
burger king but only for the whopper

57. What’s your favorite perfume?
gap - dream (haven't worn it in years but its the scent i stuck with the longest)

58. Favorite baseball team?
don't watch sports

59. Ever call a 1-900 phone number?
no.

60. What’s the longest time you’ve gone without sleep?
2 days

61. Last time you went bowling?
i can't remember. it's possible i blocked it out because i sucked that much.

62. Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
on the floor of an indigo. a sales rep woke me up and said i couldn't sleep there because they couldn't tell if i was dead or alive.

63. Who was your last phone call?
alison

64. Last time you were at work?
last tuesday.

64. What is the closest orange object near you?
giant pillow i took from cl38

Bride Wars

2009-01-09T04:08:00.001-05:00

Loved it. Nothing like a good movie to distract and lift your spirits.

Oh nine.

2009-01-08T14:59:00.001-05:00

Holiday recap to come when I have more time.

But man, I just have to say that 2009's not really off to the best start.

All I Want For Christmas Cont'd

2008-12-14T08:52:00.003-05:00

Apparently 'J' things are a theme:

All I Want for Christmas

2008-12-11T19:18:00.002-05:00

In the name of procrastination, here's my Christmas Wishlist:

The nail polish Taylor Swift is wearing in this video (minus the polka dots).
Panasonic AV Room Headphones.
Festive fashion, Red Converse.
Snowplay.
Poloroid camera
A record player; spin some cheer.
Traditional Christmas with the familia: brunch and the opening of 'practical' gifts in turn.
Urban Outfitters items/gift cards.
Fatty holiday food.
External harddrive; to save things.
International phone-calls.
To win the iTouch from work.
To be secure in love, beyond a shadow of a doubt.
A hella-lot of belting out Christmas faves.

2008-12-05T21:15:00.003-05:00

My grandma knew how to run.

And when her children were torn from her arms, when her father in law scoured her heels, she did not fall down in defeat. She held tightly to the infant she had in her arms, and she ran.

Enduring hunger, and pain, and sickness, she ran. Eating bark from trees, fighting desperately to keep her baby alive.

And when she finally arrived in Hong Kong. She gritted her teeth and began a new life. And had new hopes and new children.

And I can just imagine days where the mahjong tiles would stop clicking for a brief moment, long enough for the thoughts to settle like the moisture from the sizzling HK air. Days where she'd have had to fight to keep her heart from breaking.

My grandma knew how to fight.

Many years later, when my grandfather had already passed away, and when all but one of her children were far from her, she returned to China. To a house that my grandfather had built for those children they had to leave behind. And she stayed there and fought like I've never heard of anyone fighting for their life until she'd seen every last person she needed to see, even though we were all so slow at trickling back.

Maybe the important thing is not that my grandma knew how to run, and that she knew how to fight, but that she knew when to run and when to fight. And that she had the strength of character (or possibly stubbornness) to follow through on what she had to do no matter how hard life's kicks were.

That's what you leave behind for me, Poh Poh. I'm glad you no longer need to run or fight. Rest easy.

A thank you.

2008-12-04T18:59:00.004-05:00

Upon reflection, I find myself so indebted to someone that my own words fall short of what I mean to say. For S, this is "thank you", for everyone else, just listen because its a good song! :)

Everyday by the Rascal Flatts

You could've bowed out gracefully--But you didn't,
You knew enough to know to leave well enough alone--But you wouldn't
I drive myself crazy tryin' to stay out of my own way,
The messes that I make,
But my secrets are so safe,
The only one who gets me,
Yeah, you get me,
It's amazing to me.

[CHORUS]
How every day
Every day, every day
You save my life

I come around all broken down and
Crowded out
And you're comfort
Sometimes the place I go
Is so deep and dark and desperate
I don't know, I don't know

[Repeat Chorus]

Sometimes I swear, I don't know if I'm comin' or goin'.
But you always say something without even knowin'
that I'm hangin' on to your words with all of my might and it's alright,
Yeah, I'm alright for one more night-

Every day
Every day, every day, every day
Every day, every day
You save me, you save me, oh, oh, oh
Every day
Every, every, every day-

Every day you save my life.

Treading Water

2008-12-04T04:42:00.002-05:00

Is it just me or do bad things tend to group together and descend all at once? Its like they collaborate before actually arriving, plotting the perfect time to strike. And usually, its an inconvenient time like, say, during finals.

Or maybe things just seem worse and more noticable at points where you don't think you have the time or energy to handle them.

What's so bad about running anyway? It's not like I'm not functioning properly or something, right? Pick your battles. Deal with what you absolutely must, and the rest, let it roll right off your shoulder or sink so far down you don't have to think about it.

If you've gone so long without dealing with certain issues, then what's the hurry to do it now?

I suppose though, sometimes, given certain knowledge, there is nothing you can do but deal.

But what I wouldn't give to have it all go away.

I hate being forced to confront things I have no hope of figuring out.

Museums and Cupcakes

2008-11-28T04:21:00.003-05:00

i've got my own dinosaur. (me-- dinolove at the children's museum)

pre-chocolate coma. (marilyn at the cakebox)

Insomniac Ramblings

2008-11-27T06:21:00.003-05:00

I never sleep at a normal time anymore.

I wouldn't mind so much but I should really cut out the munchies in the middle of the night.

For some reason I can't get All You Need is Love by the Beatles and the Fifty States Song out of my head.

I really need to update my doodle blog. I've been thinking a lot about writing and illustrating children's books as a possible life goal lately. Like most of my "ambitions"-- all it will likely amount to is a great deal of stirring inside my head.

MJ and I are going to the Children's Museum uptown tomorrow! I'm most excited to revisit Exhibit Cafe which is this adorable little place inside the museum that serves only organic foods and coffees. Chique.

I should probably make better use of my time and either 1) make a schedule or 2) allow Twilight to be finished (although it is slow mind torture) so that I'll have it read before Saturday when we go see the movie.

Does anybody even read this when I go off nonsensically this way? ha.

Pile it on

2008-11-24T01:28:00.002-05:00

I apologize for the crappy quality of this post (and for its nonsensical order) after so long of not posting. But I just need a release.

I'm listening to Adele's version of Make You Feel My Love. That probably helps contribute to the thick sloshy feeling I have.

Laura, Janna, and I are hitting up V1 cafe tomorrow though, which is always fun! Spicy chicken nummayyyy.

What "it" is, I think, is my approaching that point where there's just too much. Mental claustrophobia or something. I always need to know there's some means of escape from whatever it is I feel squashed by. Right now there doesn't seem to be one as far as I can figure. And there doesn't seem to be a safety net to catch me when I inevitably fall either.

In other news I've confirmed that I'm ridiculously awful at video games, but apparently am semi-decent at beer pong.

Come ONNNNNNNN

2008-11-04T19:20:00.001-05:00

Dana Porter Monday

2008-11-03T14:43:00.003-05:00

Krystel and I are re-uniting over Developmental Psych notes and a newly renovated Dana Porter Library. I love Krystel. She makes developmental psych hilarious!

"Hmm.. I saw her put it under B. But I'm a baby. And I have no object permanence."

and Collective Monologues-- Kid1: My dad is a policeman. He caught a robber. Kid2: I have a real big dog. He licks my face all the time!

Hahaha.

The granite floors and clean cut decor are doing well to offset the purpose of my being here. My favourite part, thus far, is a glass panel and doorway separating the quiet study area from the browser's cafe. The frosted glass reflects quotes in different languages-- the English is the only one I can understand-- but it's a good one. It says:

"Think wrongly, if you please, but in all cases think for yourself." -Doris Lessing

Won't Back Down

2008-10-29T22:33:00.002-04:00

Won't Back Down covered by Tyler Hilton (Tom Petty orig.)