HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHABBA and MATT!!!! =) =)

my fingers are itching to blog... i have so much to talk about today... btw, in reference to my previous entry it was directed only to one person and prolly the person doesn't even read my blog. meh.
yesterday we had a double dragonboat practice!!! :P my back is really sore today from all the twisting and pulling and bending etc. ... it was pretty fun but the stupid guy beside me still won't talk to me... i was really hyper on the bus and i heard the guy talking to my friend franklin adn he was actually saying a LOT and so i turn around and i'm like "WOW you're talking!!" O_O and the guy looks at me and i'm like "you never ever talk to me! and now your'e talking so much to him!" and i think i freaked him out a little but ya out on the boat and before he still wouldn't talk to me and me and linda and erik were just laughing so hard because yeah. but seriously this guy has some issues. i mean, i owuldn't exactly call him attractive. he is tall and kind of dirty looking (stubble on his face and zits that are like pussing PUSSING-- don't you hate puss?? *shiver* *gag*) but it's not because of his looks. it's the fact that he doesn't talk to me and auuuurrrrggghghhhhh it makes it sooo boring.

after DB i stopped by eumie's for a bit so we got to chat for a short while and went to do laundry and stuff haha... i also saw vonne and freddie :) *cute* it was so funny cuz freddie's like "so vonne... when you're fixing a computer remember to always ground yourself otherwise.." and i thought he was gonna say "you might electricute yourself" but he's like "ruin the card with your static electricity" HAHAHA they are soooo cute tho :)

i finally got over the guy i used to like =) hooray! but i find myself empty... searching for the right infatuation hahahahaha ... actually yeah. life is hardly as interesting without a guy to obsess over. that might sound really shallow and blah. no that is not my purpose in life but hey, a girl's gotta have some fun :)

mr. anal was being extra difficult today. he has a tendancy to NEED to be right all the time. it's as if... well if he wasn't right he would just die or something. at least that's how he makes it seem. jo dora kat and i are planning our post highschool grad trip and we had this list of possible places one of which was india ... i forget the name of the city (the place with the taj mahal) and he was like yelling and screaming at us because we wouldn't agree with him that we wouldn't like india! O_o his reasoning was that there isn't extreme shopping there. and that it was expensive (which it isn't) and that there were a billion people there O_o ya okaaaaaay... ¬_¬ when he said "one billion" he took his thumb and his index finger and opened and shut them together repeatedly with each syllable. me and dora were laughing so incontrollably by the end of the conversation it was crazy. it was funny tho cuz we were all kinda ganging up on him ... not really GANGING up but like not really on "his side" and in the car i was playing with heidi's hair and he looks at me and is like "why aaaa yooo playing wif her haiiiiaaa???" and i'm like "what?! it's not YOUR hair" and heidi in her subtle little way said "you wouldn't want to touch his hair" HAHA it took us a moment to process and laugh our asses off cuz well if you know heidi .. seldom do youhear her say something mean and it was great! (i think i mentioned how he had giant dandruff) and also, he was also saying all whole bunch of stuffthat had nothing to do with anything in order to prove that india sucks or something and the way he tried to prove he was right about all this stuff was by repeatedly slamming his hand on the table and yelling "I READ EET EEN DEE ENCLOCYPEDIAAAAAA!!!!" O_o did i mention he spends countless ammounts of time in the bathroom reading encyclopedia's while he's taking a crap? yeah. he reads about reproductive systems and female organs. how do i know? cuz he was talking about some female stuff and whatever and i was like "how would you even know?" and he's like "i know! you fink i don't know??!?!?!?!?!?! i read about it een dee enclocypediaaa!" eww. yah. anyhoo, i will stop grossing everyone out with tales of mr. anal. :P

time for sleep... i have a DB race tommorow morning ... gotta wake up at 6:00 am O_O

so uhhh you know i don't read minds?
good.
so if you have a problem with me or my friends then tell me cuz actually none of us read minds.
thanks.

FOOTBALL :) yay! i like football... cept that i seem to get injured really easily during it. :P
so anyhoo, at 2 me and jo headed off to the mc field (i think that's the field) actually we got there at like 2:15 and we were the first ones there (surprise, surprise :P haha people and their chinese time) so anyhoo, soon (if you call forty five minutes later soon) everyone finally got there -- by everyone i mean me jo(anna) anna nate jiffy anita josiah karen janey kevin andrew minima mike and patty came later.. so it was pretty much fine for the first twenty minutes then stupid me when minima had the ball and mike was about to tackle him just happened to stand right behind him... i don't know how i thought that would help :P but anyhoo, mike fell backwards while tackling andrew and kinda fell on top of my knee and it like bent the wrong way and now it reallllly hurts ... i basically sat out for the rest of the whole thing thanks to my own stupidity :P but luckily i had janey to keep me company since she wasn't playing... it was cool to talk to her cuz she's a really cool cool person... really mature. but i wish i could have talked to her without getting hurt because i can't really walk properly now :P but twas fun anyhoo :) i dont' care about me getting hurt football is the best sport :)

played an interesting game of bball tonite with pastor tim, jo, heidi, esther, victoria, karen, and wall :) twas fun :) after we had some freezies and sandwiches that were left over from the golden year's fellowship :) hahahaha mmmmm butter sandwich rite victoria? :) in the car on the way back jo and i were discussing my "childhood" (actually it didn't start dying down until the end of grade 7 beginning of grade 8) obsession with xena warrior princess HAHAHA if any of you reading have known me that long... you know i used to be extremely obsessed with xena... i tried to immitate her war cry and speak her words at every opportunity, i have magazines and books about her, i have posters and calenders and doorknob hangers, and collectable cards, and i made it my goal to know everything about xena and never miss an episode. i also taped the animated movie. :P if you asked me today i could prolly still spew out a lot of xenaformation ... there was this one episode called "Bittersuite" which was a musical hahahaha and jo and i had allllll the words memorized to like all the songs in it... we used to sing them and i would always be xena and she'd always be gabrielle ... so tonite in the car we were laughing sooo hard singing these songs again (out of tune tho) and saying blablabla for the parts where we forgot the words... i think heidi and esther were kinda getting a little freaked out :P oh my *heck* (doesn't that annoy you? for some reason... even tho i only watched the last few episodes of survivor i occasionally unwillingly and unconciously say oh my heck now!!! aaahH!H!! the power of media)that was a great show!!!

dora got a kitty dora got a kitty!!!!!! :D :D :D after school on friday me and jo went over to dora's to see her new cat-- Raiju. she's sooooo pretty and gorgeous and *metalic grey* heehee ... she's such a sweet cat she's totally not a prick at all like a lot of cats are :) :) we were taking sticker pics with her :)

well anyhoo, i gots to go ... i hafta WALK to church tommorow O_O but ohwellies... bonding time for me and jo i guess :) btw, congrats to ange for getting a blog finally YAY! :D nite

welcome back. if you read the last post b4 10:35pm on monday may 20th 2002, read it again cuz it wasn't a finished post kay?
just got home a bit ago... had a nice hot bath and feel very very refreshed...
went to patty's today for supper :9 yummie thanks pattycakes! :) uhhh jo and jiffy were there and we had this yummie chicken stuff and this eggie stuff that jiffy made which was good cept i dont' like tomatoes but neither does he so dats ok :D patty has the cutest room ever!! and a nice picture of a certain someone on her wall ^_~ heeheeheeee so yeah after supper we were off to fed hall for embassy :) yay! ... but THEN... when we got there... patty accidentally locked her keys in the car and she ended up walking all the way back home to get the spare key :P she wouldn't let us come with her... so jiffy, jo, and i went inside... the worship was really good!! there was this one song that they sang that i really liked but now i can't remember the title... something about giving Him this moment or something like that ... the msg was really good too... about setting your priorities straight... and basically how we really need to make God our number one priority in our life and just to schedule our priorities and set aside a specific time for God everyday... he said something that really stuck in my mind.. "There was this man who declared his day a complete waste if he didn't spend at least seven or eight hours praying... ... but how many of us would feel our day was a waste if we didn't spend at least seven to eight minutes a day praying?" and that just made me think so much of how i really need to get my spiritual life back on track... i often wonder "omg why do i feel like i'm drifting from God and blablabla" but obviously, if i don't even spend like 10 min a day just with the Lord how can my spiritual journey be moving anywhere??? so i decided i'm gonna wake up early every morning and do devos and pray and stuff ... i think it's something i really need to do NOW. not later but NOW.

after embassy we went to timeless and got some bbt :D yummmmmiiieeeee we were playing jenga too... and also i discovered that me and jiffy have really similar taste buds.. 1st we don't eat tomatoes, we don't eat papaya and we don't eat taro! yay! someone else who has some sense :) anyhoo, i should go to sleep soon i think so i can get up early tommorow... SCHOOOL :P NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! but i get to leave early tommorw :) we have an on water practice at guelph lake for db!! so... i'm out! nite

and now--- we return to the greatest day time soap in history--
dundadaDA!
Days of Jasmine's Life!
HA riight. :P although sometimes i do make my life sound like a soap opera :P

bunch of us at 30hr eating freezies!! :D that pic started out as being me wallace and dora and somehow everyone came in :) but dats cool :)
so here's my 30 hr. experience of this year for ya:
hunger. i was surprised at my lack of it this year-- ok well relative lack of it. i was hungry alright... more on the first day though when people (specifically andrew :P) were tempting me by describing various food items and inhaling their slurpies in front of me :P not that i can complain because at least i didn't have to walk through the eaton centre food court right tobyman? :P i don't think i was really very hungry on the second day until right before we were gonna eat.. but i was still hungry just not like "i'm gonna die" hungry.on the friday after lunch i bought myself a slurpie and drank it until 12 but since there was still half of it left i ended up giving the rest to nahayat and ellie :P (not like they don[t usually drink half my slurpies anyways) i made it through school ok without being hungry but when i got home it was insane... you see, normally, i have a nice big snack when i get home but no not that day and also, i had daniel and kadin and irina to fix food for... i gave them a can of pringles which they finished and promptly claimed they were still hungry (my ASS you're hungry! i'm the one who's hungry!! :P) anyhoo, they ended up fixing themselves some buttered popcorn as i ran in to my room to hide myself from the smell but it didn't help the scent of the popcorn drifted into my room teasing my stomach insanely.
At around 6:30 i rushed out the door and jumped into heidi's car as we headed to dora's where we vegged for an hour... joanna was playing on dora's keyboard... she started playing "Castle on a Cloud" from Les Mis and i promptly started singing it out of tune with a british accent and dora was like "omg! i always sing it with a british accent too!!" and we were singing it and laughing and that's how the les mis high came about for those two days... also, dora's cell rings with the song "Do you hear the people Sing?" from les mis too... that is just too cool of a musical!! cosette sucks eponine rules!! i don't know why but i guess not eating makes us really hyper cuz we were singing so loud in the car and talking about how we should take a road trip umm we got to the church at around eight and me and dora were crazilly searching for a radio which didn't work in the end :P when everyone (jo, dora, kat, heidi, wallace, esther, victoria, alex, and i) were finally there we decided to go outside and play football with dora's nerf football... we were actually going out to learn to play rugby from dora but since everyone joined us we started a game of tackle football-- me dora jo kat esther and victoria against wallace and ALEX. now, those of you who know alex know that he is *slightly* larger than all of us. it just so happens that he had the ball and was running for our endzone. i ran to tackle him and tried to knock him down... heh no such luck. instead, he ended up bouncing me off his body like a bouncy ball or something... i was sent flying through the air and landed on my face(literally) in the grass :P ow. but i wasn't hurt or anything so yeah. but it was so impossible for us to win because we were all so afraid to get near him! tim and heidi announced to us that they were leaving to pick up the 5 ccf ppl who actually stayed in waterloo HA HA who were toby, buffy(becky), alexis, andrew wong, and waiki :) when they got to the church everyone headed over to the bilingual school to play bball… interesting things that happened were: a basketball bounced right on top of alex’s head HAHAHA it was SO FUNNY he wasn’t hurt or anything no worries but omg it was funny I wish I’d gotten a pic of it! (I was taking pics with waiki’s camera), also, while I was fidgeting with the camera I noticed that tobes was rolling around on the floor and thought to myself wow that’s hilarious why’s he being so weird? And so I took a picture of it. Then everyone like ran over to him and was like “omg toby are you ok?” turns out he sprained his ankle while running and that’s why he fell on the floor and stuff hahaha stoopid me takes a picture of it. but it was pretty funny :) after that everyone vegged around for a while .. alexis, buffy, and andrew went and got slurpies :P and it was very torturous watching them drink them :P at like one something everyone piled on to the military bus (kwcac bus) and we drove to the bus terminal to pick up clara hahahahaha this was pastor tim's cruel idea... but it was funny :P after we dropped clara toby andrew alexis waiki and buffy off, we drove back to the church and fell into deep slumber. saturday we pretty much just chillaxed the whole entire day away :) watched this chinese movie called the wishing tree and painted and got REALLY annoyed with mr. anal trying to force me into saying i want to go to hk i don't know why! but then when i was like "no! i don't want to ok? i dont' wanna go to some place just because you say or whatever" he was calling me racist and stuff and ARGH. and toby wasn't even there to kick his butt :P hmph. but yeah ... we made dinner too -- shepherd's pie :D and potatoes and pudding(chocolate, vanilla, and banana) and we had strawberry shortcake icecream :D ... sooooo stuffed! we were saying b4 about how we could eat so much more... but we ended up having like one and a half shepherd pies left for sunday morning "breakfast" -- we share? :P

it was good seeing clara this wkend... i missed her a lot lot :P so yay :) also... the animal that i carry around with me everywhere is a COW. C-O-W spells COW!!!!!!!!!! not pig not hippo COW. ok? ok :D good. also, yes it is a MALE cow. and yes there is such a thing. and no he isn't feminine :P thankyou :)

i made it! i made it out alive!!! heehee.. outta the 30hr Famine alive i mean :D tres fun! ... i'll blog about it tommorow.. it's getting kinda late and i don't wanna challenge a long entry.....

i am a walking contradiction :P oxy MORON. have you ever had one of those relationships where you like someone so much (not even necessarily in a romantic way) and at the same time you just are soooo aggreviated with them and are so angry at them and dislike them to such a great ammount? and you just can't make up your mind as to how you ACTUALLY feel? ... well it's happening to me. in several cases and it's annoying let me tell ya :P i so wish i could just sort out the way i feel like... just know very precisely what my opinions/feelings are so that i can react in the way that they direct me to do.... instead of not knowing how to act ... should i act cold or warm, smile or frown... i dunno. i guess i shoudl always be nice no matter what... but i don't wanna piut yp a false front either... right now... i'm just gonna try to figure this out. thot i'd blog about it to get it out of my system...

we were on a Les Miserables high yesterday and today... Eponine is the BEST character!!!!!
"and now i'm all alone again no where to go no one to turn to... without a home, without a friend, without a face to say hello to... and now the night is near and i can make believe he's here...." gonna go make believe a certain someon is here ;) nite

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! ^_~ @--}-----

went out for mother's day dinner at Crystal Palace with the YAFellowship (my parent's fellowship) and guess who we ran in to..... lyds and dorcas and nate and their family! yay! haven't seen them in a long time... well i saw dorcas at tc for like two seconds but yeah it was cool ... we just went to the same restaurant by total coincidence ... although, there arent' that many chinese restaurants in waterloo to choose from :P :) pastor yung looks exactly the same. O_O like he never changed over five years ... ha ha he's funny :D

so i wore my glasses out in public for the first time today :P and well... i am really annoyed. especially at mr. anal who repeatedly stressed "how much better you look in glasses!" just because he wants me to wear glasses... it was so insincere! he always does things like that... i mean what's his obsession with getting me to do things?! like he always tries to pursuade me that i want to live in hk when i don't! like argh. but i was so annoyed when he was going on and on aboutthe glasses just because he is obsessed with me wanting to wear glasses. i can tell he was insincere by the smirk he had on his face and the constant glances he was giving to heidi (way to be obvious :P) but i guess it's not only him. a lot of people seem to be making a HUGE deal out of it... and some of them have been bugging me to wear glasses... i don[t know if they are actually sincere or not... so i decided ... to ask the blog community! ^_^ so do my poll please! i want sincere feedback as i may get contacts soon ... or not...so go vote! :) thanks a million! :)

went to toronto with my family today :) ...
we had dim sum with my uncle who was here from hk on a business trip... it was cool seeing him and of course cool getting presents :D although unlike my brat sister i was not i going insane at the anticipation of presents in FRONT of my uncle and opening them in front of him either :P but i did end up opening them after he left. i got this really *cute* pitbull stuffed doggie that has a humungous nose :) and two t-shirts- a roxy one that's white and has red and blue sparkly letters all over it and it says Roxy and "surf smiling" and "the heart of surfing".. it's really cute .. and i also got another tshirt that's Ralph Lauren and it's striped blue and light blue and has a loose turtleneck thingy will lil draw strings ... i can't explain it well btu it's also really cute :)

went to markham to pick up my new glasses... they're purple and are *uniquely* shaped... it's kinda like a bowtie type thingy... uhhh... each frame is sorta like a rounded rectangle but smooshed on the side closest to the middle of the glasses... if you know what i mean... if not...too bad :P come see me. the sales people are SO annoying. the woman who was there last time was there again still saying "yeeeaaaaah and coooooo!" for no apparent reason and the man ARGHHHHHH!!!! he called me "leuy leuy" about fifty gazillion times! i had to keep myself from yelling at him... my parents were laughing so hard after :P but oh boy the nerve of that guy geez. we ran into uncle aleck, auntie amelia, and auntie rebecca there which was cool to see auntie rebecca :)
but yeah... nothing much else to write about... my glasses are making me dizzy. write later.

i really think it should start getting warm again! ... today was dreary, cold, and rainy. a generally blah day. nothing much really happened.... we got our positions on the boat for dragonboat today... i'm towards the back end of the boat sitting beside this guy josh who no offense but is not fun at all. he sits there with his mouth hanging open and a duhhhhh type of expression on his face that gives off the look that he is mentally challenged or something but he's not. O_o he doesn't talk either *sigh* why me? :( heidi and jo are sitting together. :P

argh. i wish people would quit bossing me around. like seriously. i don't need any crap from people. i am my own person, and i'll do what i please. not that i am totally not open to opinions and suggestions... just... oh my gosh. like, when i'm going on about something you would think that people know me well enough to just let me rant and get it out of my system! i know that many times the things i say are not neccesarily rational and/ logical or mature but i don't always mean what i say when i say them in outbursts of frustration or whatever. when people suddenly point out that my thoughts are wrong or whatever it doesn't help. i don't really give a crap whether they are wrong or right at that point in time which is why i would be ranting about the stuff in an uncontrolled manner... i don't even mean half the things i say... i just need to... let it out. wow... this blog thing is really good for me. by the way... if youve been reading this and find certain thoughts of mine that you find "wrong" or "illogical" just note that although the things i write in here are what i really feel, this is still like my place to rant and rave so my random outbursts of anger and "hatred" might be just spur of the moment feelings so if you're offended by something... try not to take it too seriously. On the other hand, i'm not trying to hide behind some mask of fake perfection and *this is me* take it or leave it :)

boy oh boy so much to spaz about and so little time :P

i was reading lydia's entry about friends coming in seasons and YEAH! i am so agreeing! the coming and going really sucks. people leaving means change even if they don't feel like admitting it.. i mean, change in friendships. it's always for the worst... like, how can it not be? leaving=not seeing=not talking=forgetting=we're friends? =P of course this happens over a period of time.. not like the next day after people leave... but it happens, trust me i should know. same thing every year. over and over and over. and sometimes i just wanna scream!!!! like right now! i was talking to TM and he might be going to Singapore! ok. what IS it lately with people and foreign countries?! Japan, Singapore, China, Rome.. yeah. ok. i can deal with people leaving to go to TO or whatever. but like seriously, everyone is going so far.... far away =*( *sigh* i shouldn't be like this. but seriously, i really feel like quitting trying to be all happy for people... cuz i am but i miss people so much... it just... makes me want to turn that part of me off. turn off... feelings or whatever. gosh this is stupid.

a person with a big head and a really loud voice (let's call him mr. anal) was being very annoying today. wait... he's annoying everyday! .. apparently there's something wrong with me saying the words sex, bra, and pee. PEE O_o (quasimodo heehee i laff everytime i c that face now) like it's such a big deal if i say "i gotta pee" instead of "i have to go to the washroom" notice the difference in lengths of those two phrases. geez. yeah... and all i said about the bra was "i have to zip up my bra" an di was saying it to myself QUIETLY but he had to make a big deal out of it and scream and have a fit... also, in ss on sunday when we were discussing wut topics we were going to discuss, someone brought up relationships and he was like "NOT S-E-X" he wouldn't even SAY THE WORD!!! O_O omgomgomgomgomgomg *inhale *exhale* his constant commenting on everything i say or do is what drives me to do things such as yell penis when i get into the car just to annoy him. and for the record, when i said that, he told me that he could sue me for verbal harrassment O_o you can NOT sue someone for saying penis! he wasn't even joking! AH he drives me insane! i am contemplating new ways to annoy mr. anal... meanwhile think of me as i will be sitting in the back seat of a green honda dodging mr. anal's GIANT dandruff and trying to contain myself from strangling him with my bare hands.

The sun filters through the blinds into my room splashing sunlight over me as sit perched in my twirly computer chair trying to contemplate the events of the day... my thoughts for the day... it's really peaceful in here right now... i'm alone with my thoughts surrounded by sunlight and mandy moore's Only Hope.

sunday =) i love sundays... always have... before, i used to get up on sunday mornings and not be able to stop smiling. like seriously i had this big grin on my face for like no reason except the fact that i like sundays. i still like sundays but i'm luckily able to contain my facial expression of this happiness =P this morning Helen Lee ( a missionary in guatemala) spoke at our service. i'd heard her speak before because she spoke at jmc last summer-- ironically, she gave the exact same message. HA HA =D but i'm actually really glad she did cuz i think i really needed to hear it again. She spoke about reconciliation-- how we are reconciled with our Heavenly Father through Christ and we in turn should be reconciled with others around us -- forgive and forget as the Lord did for us. She said "we need to be dead. when someone pricks a dead man with a pin will he move? no." in the same way, we shouldn't react to every little trespass that others commit against us, but instead, act in love just like God did. =) well... i for sure sure need help in this department considering ... well, i'm kinda very "seew hay" (little air literally) or short tempered. i guess i tend to think more about what others have done to wrong me and not what they've done to help me. definitely need to work on that. =P (going off topic-- Caleb, the son of Helen and Joseph Lee is very very hot. i saw him at jmc ^_^ and no. the point of my going to jmc was NOT to meet guys but hey, if there are hotties there i can't help that now can i? =P)

everything about that one friend that i was mad at in the previous entry is over. i take all of it back and express my deepest apologies to that person who is one of the greatest friends i have ever had. i;'m really sorry.
*sigh* i'm such a drama queen.
i'm trying to arrange pictures in my rooom... any ideas?

Okay ... so does anyone from Tdot know Dundas Street West (the guy not the street)? cuz wwoooooowwwwee! dora and i would like to know if you do thanks :) :P after we jumped in to the window of my dad's passing van, we drove to markham where i got some new glasses O_O and me and dora bought some CHINESE JUNK FOOD!!! the lady in the store looked at us as if we were on crack cuz we were soo hyper in her store HA HA AH O_o chinese junk food is soooooo goood though! :) after that we went to this shanghainese restaurant and while we were eating this person was peeking at us through the window (we were sitting with our backs to the window... so we mixed up this disgusting mixture of vinegar, soy sauce, shanghai noodles, ginger, and tea and i pretended to drink it to gross them out heehee and then i saw this person that looked sooo much like Brian Lee and dora started yelling his name to see if he would turn around but he didn't and then he started giving us looks and we were laughing but we weren't sure if he was looking at us or this lady standing in front of our table... as we were leaving i walked past him and he was like "JASMINE?" and i was like "BRIAN?" and we were like "OH!" and dora comes running up and is like "WERE YOU LOOKING AT USSSS!!!?!!?!" HA HA it was really funny and he was like "uhhh nooo.... jasmine aren't you from waterloo?" and i was like"yeah... we're just shopping here today" and so yeah that was cool running into someone i knew... even though i wasn't sure at first :) but that's always a source of amusement and blog topics :)

yesterday was tara's surprise party which didn't turn out to be much of a surprise :P but it was fun chilling with everyone anyways ppl there were me jo dora tara kat susi erin taryn emily annie robyn wayne jenn florian dan tyler kyle duke justin(atkinson!! hottttt!) =) yupz we just hung out and ate yummy burgers and stuff :) so dat was coool

also, i reaaaaalllllly don't like it when people say things they don't mean. or when they're inconsistant! like, one day they're like "HI! omg i'm so happy to see yoU! your'e like my best friend!" or something to that effect and then the next day "hi..." and they leave. like, i just like to know where i stand always. i find that even though i get mad at my friends or whatever, if they're my friend i usaually treat them the same all the time so they know! unless i'm mad and wheni am they'll know that i am and i'm not just ignoring them or whatever for no reason. also, if i'm not important say so ok? thankyou. ... ahem. sorry, over this weekend certain people have been transfered from my category of friends to my category of female dogs. but i will speak no further of that.
i talked to shabba on the phone just now. it's crazy how much i miss her and yet also crazy how busy she is yet she's always always there for me no matter what. like, she has work piled up to her over her head or whatever but she can STILL make time for me -- that's a true friend. i betcha she'd call me if she were in loo! actually i KNOW she'd call me if she were. thanks i love yoU! :) in a friend way of course. anyhoo, something nice happened so yay! gonna leave it here so my blog ends off on a nice note! :) by the way... did you know that frogs are carnivores?!?! for some reason i always had the mindset that frogs ate plants. airhead! oh well... i learn something new everyday ^_~

it's been a fun-filled two days ^_^ much to blog about!
yesterday, i went to T-dot with dora! :) and my family too... but we were hardly with them... yeah dora slept over on friday nite and we were talking for a long time while eating 3D chips.. they were doritos... for some reason, they taste soooo good 3D but sooo disgusting 2D. is that possible? well they do. yummmmm :9 anyhoo, yeah it wasn't really good that we stayed up so late talking cuz we had to get up at 6:30 the next morning to go to TO (my dad had a conference in Tdot at 8:30) and so yeah... we got to the eaton center around 8:45 or so... the mall was completely deserted. dora and i were looking around everywhere for the food court and ended up wandering down this empty corridor... and there was only one guy walking in this same corridor but the opposite direction. i didn't really see him cuz he was closer to dora but according to her, as he walked by he rapidly dropped his head at the neck and SWUNG it toward her!!!! O_O and according to her he had orange hair and one eye was bigger than the other H AH AHA HA (we named him Twitch) and she was sooooooo freaked out! (i'm figuring he was either drunk, on crack, or mentally challenged which would be soooo sad.) kay so we kept walking up this escalator to a movie theatre i think it was -- but that too was deserted so we were going back down the escalator i glanced at these dark stairs beside the ticket booth and there was this man sitting there all dressed in black in the shadows and OH MY GOSH! it was soooo scarrrrryYYYYY!!!! and dora was running down the escalator yeah ok. we live in loo ok? so yeah. very scary for us. when we got back down we were laughing our heads off about that guy and Twitch but we were starving and no stores were open and we couldn't find the food court but yeah i endedup asking this security guard and we found it. yeah so we shopped for a long time and had these Fruizzi's from second cup which are SO GOOOOOD! ^_^ we were drinking them while sitting on the edge of this fountain and making fun of like everyone that walked by... there was this fat old man with this tubby kid who were sooooo cute! and this woman with a baby carriage that came up wanting to sit down and there wasn't really any room so i moved over for her and she shoots my the DIRTIEST look! and i was like "kay, screw you beeyatch! i moved for you!" but i didn't say that of course... me and dora decided she's going through menapause (sp?). we also saw this kid who looked just like a cabbage patch doll! so cute!!! ^_^ at 12 we went to this restaurant for dim sum and saw this guy who looked like one of those evil business men from a chinese flick and this receptionist lady who had this mole on right above her lip that was SO big that it like deformed her face! but anyhoo, the food was good and so after me and dora went to the bathroom and we were talking and laughing so i wasn't really looking straight ahead when i pushed open the door of a bathroom stall that was already a bit open. suddenly i hear this voice go "aiya! yow yun ahhhh! (aiya there's someone in here!)" and i looked and there was this old woman in the stall!!! luckily i didn't see anything since i looked away quickly and closed the door saying "oh my gosh deuy mmm juuu ahh!" but i couldn't help but burst into incontrollable laughter while going in to another stall... so i'm in the bathroom and i guess the old lady finished cuz i heard her talking to another person going "aiya ow jun hie ho bow ah! (aiya i'm really full!)" and suddenly this GIGANTIC (i mean GIGANTIC) burp comes erupting from her and it's like ERRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGG!!! or whatever a burp sounds like and i was laughing so hard but trying to muffle it so as not to be mean and dora was laughing while she was doing her lipstick and right when the old lady left we erupted into laughter it was SO FUNNY! and also, later we checked on the door of the stall that lady was in and the lock wasn't even broken! it was fine! i cant' understand why she wouldn't lock the stall door and how that burp could have possibly come from her body. so scary. we went back to the mall after that and sat in Indigo reading.. dora started reading Lolita which is a really freaky book about this man who falls in love with a nine year old girl. supposedly my dad was coming to pick us up to go to markham at 4:30 so my mom who was really anxious made everyone go wait for them at 4:20 ... so we were sitting in this office building waiting thing right beside the mall and there was this hot security guard behind a desk. we named him Dundas Street West. HA HA HA cuz we were on 1 Dundas st. West i think... and... (this is soo long. i'll finish it later tbc)

happy birthday to eumie!!! ^_^
ran again tonite! ^_^ yay! i'm on a streeeeak ^_~
i was talking to matt on icq and the subject somehow came up about people who make promises but don't keep them. argh. such people annoy me to an extreme. i mean seriously, if "you" (not directed to anyone i'm just yelling at the people who do this that i dont' know who they are) aren't gonna do something then don't say you will! like, have some committments geez. that's partly why i think divorce is sooo dumb in MOST situations! because like, you're promising/vowing to someone that you'll be there for them and with them for the rest of your lives and it's not just some stupid promise that you make for the fun of it! it's a lifelong commitment and so if people aren't prepared to make that they shoudln't get married in the first place and especially not have kids so they can hurt them too =P what freaks. plus, i hate getting disappointed by people who tell me tehy'll do things or something'll happen or whatever and then they don't show or they change their mind or whatever ugh i'd rather them just say no in the first place even if i wish they'd say yes. it's better to hear a blunt no then a liar yes.

*sigh* i want mail. i suddenly have this huge craving for mail mail mail... snail mail AND email ... so email me: coffeecutie_jc@yahoo.ca ... and snail mail me too but i'm not posting my home addy =P HA HA this is lame i'm trying to publicize my need for mail so that i'll get some... but write me anyways ok? :) thanks.
sleep time... time for a girl to dream a dream that'll never come true :P nite.

went for a run again tonite :) fun fun fun and also i got a LOT further than the last time i went! ^_^ yay!!! =)
lost a piano competition today =P ohwellies didn't expect to win anyways.. and after dat, me and jo went to pita pit (chicken caesar mmmmm =9) and Saint Cinnamon(soooo goood!!!) yes we're a couple of piggies! but hey, we were gonna get sushi but it was closed so not our fault =P =) it was fun tho... we went to the playground on philip street and were eating and talking and sitting on the tire swing and stuff :) haven't been able to chillax with my best alone for a while so dat was nice... after that we went back to school to watch dora and tara's rugby game which-- THEY WON!!! ^_^ yay! no thanks to our spontaneous cheering at the wrong times HA HA but yeah... i'm SO joining rugby next year! which is the reason why i'm going running every nite, to get fit for rugby =) a suggestion made by mr. wise man =)

you know what i don't like? inconsistancy. argh. like, you know how some ppl can be one way sometimes and then another way other times.. and it's just so unpredictable and stuff!? like you dont' know how to act around them because something that might make them smile one day might make them yell at you the next day? what's worse is if one day someone actually notices you and talks to you and treats you like you matter and then the next it's like you don't exist again... especially if you kinda have a little crush (or big infatuation) with that person... it gets rather irritating... i just wish i knew what they were exactly thinking. i guess i shouldn't be so fast to down on others for inconsistancy considering i'm sure i get quite moodswingy at times... but at least i don't like someone one day and then don't like them the next... HA HA unless it's a guy :P kidding. although my crushes DO change quite quickly... hey, this one's been around for about a month already! :D hooray! actually not hooray because i don't see it going anywhere :(

i wanna change my template. it's so boring. but i don't know how really =P *sigh* why this computer illiteracy? someone help!

it's one of those nights... i feel really mellow and blah. kinda depressed but i'm not actually sad about anything in particular. well i am sad about some stuff but those aren't the reasons i'm feeling like this. i think i have way too much on my mind.. stuff that i'm worrying over but really don't need to worry over. i kinda tend to overreact about everything or as some people like to call it-- i'm a big spaz =P =) *sigh* you know what i really feel like doing? talking on the phone. yes yes. but no. cuz the people that are awake at this hour AND don't have families that aren't awake at this hour aren't really in town anymore.. i guess i could make some long d calls ... but i just did. and i'm not exactly made of money. and plus it's getting a bit late to call long d especially if people live at home =P so i decided i will just be depressed on the internet: blogging is great: a way to relieve stress as opposed to other ways that make you become obese including indulging myself in bucketfuls of chocolate icecream.
life sucks sometimes. here's a few things that are wrong with my life:
1) i miss people. i miss people SO MUCH. i miss people SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH. i'm sure you get the picture.
2) the guy i am infatuated with at this point-- will never EVER see me the way i see him. and he prolly doesn't so much as even know in the back of his mind that i exist except for once a week for about five minutes and sometimes a bit more than that but not often. and no. that doesn't boost my self esteem ... not like i had any to begin with anyways so i guess it really doesn't matter. i suddenly find it quite pathetic that i often ponder so much about love and such when i myself have absolutely no love life (kat-- this is the true meaning of the word pathetic.) nor will i ever have one. i will probably end up being an old maid, live in a rickety shack, chasing away the neighbors and their animals with my broomstick day after day after day after day... and one day i'll probably die and no one will even notice especially not this guy.
3) i have no finger nails. this is technically my fault since i bite them. wait. i have fingernails.. but they are really short is all... not like there's no nail because that would jsut be gross. does anyone know a way to stop biting my nails? because i for surely don't and i'd realllllly like to stop. so i can aquire some nails.
4)i miss people SOOO SOOO SOOO SOOO SOOO SOO much.
i'm sure there are more things wrong with my life that i just can't think of at the moment. i don't think my glasses are very "rose tinted* today. more like *mellowyellow tinted* i hope i'll be in a better mood tommorow then maybe i can actually blog about something interestng besides how pathetic and dumb my life is.

ahhhh nice hot shower =) =) i'm pooped... =P worked tonite (which for once was actually good... cuz it was slow and i made no booboos =D) and i went for a run with my dad again tonite... exercise! but yeah... i'm really outta shape so that hot shower was really nice... =) i've a had a two day streak in going running HAHAHAHAHA actually.. that was me and jo's "streak" last summer. but i'm really hoping to make a habit out of this... good to get in shape and spend some *quality time* with my dad =P how corny is that? =P *^_^* *blush* ahh well...

speaking of habits... yesterday, i went out for brunch (yummie Angie's Kitchen) with a bunch of ppl, and me and anita and waiki were riding in eric's car and i found out about a really cool habit/ routine thingy that eric has! everytime he drives somewhere, everyone prays together before going! not that he's a bad driver or anything but isn't it good to always have God's blessing in everything you do? it was actually kinda funny at first cuz i was buckling my seatbelt and fixing MooCowbaby in a comfortable position when waiki goes "jasy do you wanna pray for us?" and i looked at him and i'm just like "excuse me? *blink blink*" i musta seemed like a total dummy but i was SO confused because i had no idea about this routine and had no idea what waiki was talking about praying while i was trying to buckle up and stuff.. but he kinda explained it and i was like "OH! umm no you pray" cuz i didn't know what i woulda said... but after i thought about it it's such a cool thing to do! when i finally turn sixteen and drive and get a car, i'm gonna do that! so be prepared to pray if you're gonna ride in my car ^_^ heehee but i won't be getting one soon anyways. =P *grumble*

i think one of my new fave songs is "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton... so preeetteeeeee!!!! i WOULD walk a thousand miles =P yay for relating to music =) =P hem, just a question... if any people such as pastor tim or emily or jo or heidi or dora or kat or justin or wallace or caleb or esther or victoria or tiff or simon or alex are reading this ... any idea what we're gonna do for sunday school for the next four months? i'm just curious and wondering... i'm curious a lot aren't i? =P bleh well i can't help it. good thing i'm not a cat. i'm noticing that i say "can i ask you a question?" alot and i just generally ask a lot of questions for no apparent reason. well at least the reasons aren't apparent to me... is that annoying to people? prolly is to some people... but seriously, i can't help it. i'm not trying to be nosy or anything! i just have verbal diahrea and need to say everything that's on my mind... the "can i ask you a question" thing is actually like a block for this continuous flow cuz people can say no. although they rarely do. or some people such as tobyman can say "you can always ask but that doesn't neccessarily mean i'll answer" *teehee* =P but yeah, the reason i ask people if i can ask is because it generally sounds less rude than "so why do you always pick your nose?" but that's eventually what i'll end up saying anyways.. just more *smoothly* ^_~ (btw, the pick your nose thing was just an example and does not imply anything or apply to anyone i am friends with.. because yo that's just GRUBBY ok?) but yeah, if the question thing annoys you please tell me and i'll just ask you bluntly if that'll please you. (also, my questions are not always rude or personal or w/e... just whatever comes to mind). ok. anyhoo, enough ranting for tonite, i'm sure you've all fallen asleep by now so no point in saying g'nite. =)

so anyhoo back to the birthday story (jo's bday) which was yesterday--- they were SO pretty (a dozen red roses =D)! ummmyeah i think the flower thing was really sweet of andrew =) AW~* aside: why do i never get flowers for my birthday... when jo got them we were commenting on how it was a four year streak of getting flowers on her birthday! three of the four years were from guys. first year (gr. 7) it was from julie... but that's still nice! and then it was Tom and then Ben, Dyl, and Euhan, and then this year Andrew! :P bleh. i'm unspeshal :P or actually jo's jsut Xtra speshal! *^_^* so dats ok. other good things happen to me. :) *my glasses are rose tinted* heehee
after the flowers, me and waiki went back to my house for a while ... and created the ULTIMATE coolest thing on the planet-- BOB. err... yeah... i got jo this shirt and these shorts for her bday and was trying to think of a creative way to wrap them.. so waiki suggested we make a person and put the clothes on it ^_^ so we stuffed plastic bags with newspapers and stuff omg it was SO FUNNY when we were doing this cuz waiki refused to make it a female body and we were trying to find something for the head... but i didn't really have a very big balloon... so waiki was joking around about how we should use the condom... and i took him seriously ... but then we didn't end up doing that cuz well i doubt her parents would have found it quite as amusing as i did. =P but yeah BOB ended up looking hilarious... we sat her in my car and when we were leaving to go bowling, jo came in my car and we made her sit with it the whole way .. she was like "omg it's staring at me! ahhh! leave me alone!" but yes. it was quite funny... waiki took some pics of bob which maybe will be on his site.. but maybe not since it was yesterday....

speaking of waiki's site... there's this section in it about why he doesn't like Toronto! yay! i don't like toronto either! finally-- someone who agrees with me! actually, i knew he didn't like toronto before... but he has such great reasoning! check it out: http://www.waiki.ca/MainLayout.aspx?page=About/InToronto
i'm gonna go outside now and breathe some of that fresh waterloo air =P ;)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JO!!!!! =) =)
lucky girl's sixteen! ^_^ watch out all you drivers! =P
this morning we had a kiwanis rehearsal and we totally screwed up on our duet. i think it's her. seriously, mrs. walker scares us to death! me and jo can play it perfectly wonderfully when she's not around... but when she's there it's like our hands stop working or something... but ANYWAYS.. enough about that... yeah.
waiki came up last nite and wanted to surprise jo ^_^ so we met at the park at two and me and waiki were there b4 jo heidi and alex and YAY! jo was surprised =) alex almost gave it away tho... cuz when they were driving home from lunch they happened to drive past waiki who was walking to my place from the westcourt house... and alex started screaming and freaking and winking at heidi and auntie maureen.. O_o ugh. but luckily heidi pulled a fast cover and said it was a dead squirrel in the other direction. =) nice one ^_~
and yeah ... after the park we went up to jo's because i wanted to "eat icecream and play cards" (which we did... but i actually wanted to go wait for the flowers from andrew that i knew were coming =D) so yeah we had a few games of eukre and speed and the flowers FINALLY came at like 4:30 :P hooray!!!... (to be continued.....)

it's been soooooper sooper hot lately... up to like 30 degrees!! but it's cooled off a bit today... yesterday, after dragon boat practice, me and heidi and jo WALKED home from school due to us not having bus tickets and stuff. it was quite a painful experience (i don't live very close to my school) considering it was so hot out and was walking this hour in pink bunny flip-flops =P fun fun. i think i got some sort of heat stroke cuz i felt like i was going to pass out and my face and hands got kinda swollen... i think i might have been dehydrated too =P thank God it's cooler today cuz my parents wouldn't turn on the a/c cuz "it's gonna get cold next week!" riiight O_o

know what's cool? lyds sent angie my contact.. but i didn't know who angie was at first and then i started talking to her and she's the angie i know that used to live here! not only in loo but in my house, in my room! =) =) which i think is so cool cuz i haven't talked to her in a long while and yeah i'm living in her room! O_O yes i know it doesn't sound like a big deal but i found it quite whoa so i just thought i'd share that with the rest of the blog community =P KAY this is so weirded out! jsut exactly now... i found out that this other person from loo who i knew a LONG time ago in the days of VBS (back when guys were gross and a traumatic event was not winning the colouring contest =P) reads my blog and i didn't remember who she was and then suddenly this huge flood of memory came pouring into my head and it's like i had amnesia or something and then got my memory back! whoa. this is so cool! =) i can't remember who else was in that generation of Prayluders that i don't talk to anymore... hmmm... :? i think i've changed a lot since then though... i can't really remember what i was exactly like. i'm going to ask someone later i think.

but yeah. there's a certain special occasion coming up tommorow ;) and so i think i better go get ready cuz it's been sixteen years since God made my best friend! *^_^*

kay, you know what? i'm pissed.
boy oh boy. i haven't been pissed in a while. and ya know, the funny thing is i'm not even mad at one specific person. i don't even know specifically who i'm mad at! all i know is that today is like "jasmine has ceased to be an individual day" or something. well... it's not only today... it think it's been two days maybe.. i'm really annoyed. i keep getting side comments from people that are ticking me off but not really... like, when they say it i'll be like "oh well who cares" but i find more people who i don't expect to say that kind of stuff are saying it ... which is really argh.

what am i talking about? well i've been hearing things like "sunday school person" and "kwcac girl" and "highschooler" and those kind of comments... not to mention, i've discovered today, that someone doesn't view me in the way that i thot they did. but ya know, that is actually ok with me. but it's just that ARGH! why can't i be an individual!?!?!? i thought that was working out and that people viewed me as such now. and ... well lately i'v been feeling a lot more like people aren't looking at me as different because of age or whatever. but heh. guess not eh? special thanks to my "friends" who have been saying that type of stuff. and it's really nice to know that i am actually seen as a single person in your eyes. yes. very nice.

*sigh* maybe ... i am overreacting. but you know what? i'm sick of it. i dont' like being shoved into the term "one of the KWCAC girls" (lots of girls go to kwcac) and i dont' like being shoved into the term "Sunday School Teen" either. it's as if i'm not important enough to be mentioned so for the sake of convenience i just get pushed into a category while others can be mentioned by name. and if i'm not important enough for people to call me by name or if i'm not important enough for people to actually say a real goodbye to before they leave for four months (oh wait.. different situation.) then well tell me. cuz i really think differently.

SSR day tommorow! yay! :) :) :) shopping time! :)

clara left today... =( thanks for everything! i'll miss you sweetie! =(

on a happier note... it was a sunday filled with exercise!!!! =)=) *grin*
for the last sunday school of the term we played bball which was totally fun!!! ^_^ thanks em for getting the gym for us! ^_^ it was really fun to be able to play sports with alot of the praylude crowd(jo, kat, heid, est, just, wall, victoria, alex) PLUS emmie, vonne, freddie, and em's friends eric and jeff =) old people and new people, young people and... well... haha you get the picture.. =P don't get to do stuff like that very often... tres tres cool. =)

josiah invited me to go play football with them at slc today(thanks jo)... and... i actually went O_o even though i don't know how to play football =P HA HA HA but as toby said.. it's good rugby practice for next year and also, well... there was another motivation. =P anyhoo, when me and my mom got to slc we ended up driving around ring road looking for this "field" like 50 times :P finally, being frustrated i got out of the car and started walking around looking... i ended up bumping into Laurier Girl ^_~ (dawnie) who was also lost. =P so we wandered around a bit and eventually called emily who gave us ben's cell # who we then called and he came from the "field" and got us =P as it turned out, although we didn't actually get to the field until 2:30 (it was sposed to start at 2) only like 5 people were there anyways and that's why it was so hard to find the "field". =P but yeah... at first... it was kinda weird cuz i didn't know what i was doing... but i ended up getting a pretty good hang of the defense part which was good =) if only tackling people didn't mean being covered in mud and getting kicked in the leg (it's swollen to the size of a ... HUGE now :P and i can hardly walk HA HAHA) but yes my first football experience was a really fun one =) i actually think the mud was fun too =D people there (that i can remember) were me, dawn, josiah, candy, anna, janice, clara, anita, toby, wayne, alfred, nate tsui, ivan, ben c, sophia, lillian, justin, and some more ppl i can't quite remember :P but yeah that was cool :) YAY go exercising me! :P i need to do this exercising thing more often :)

sweet game of bball tonite! :) P----- M -------S!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA yeah gurlies! we rule! ^_^ (<------ jo(p), me(m), heidi(s) ... we kick some guy ass gurlz! *^_^*) exersize rules! =)
what sucks? goodbye's. tommorow's gonna suck. =P

oh my gosh! you know what pisses me off? people who have low enough self esteem to push around other people for dumb reasons like their appearance. maybe it's just that grade nine's are immature, but by the sounds of it, a lot of grade ten's think it's pretty funny as well. there's this girl, and she's in grade nine.... i don't really know her, but i know she's a Christian as she attends the weekly ISCF prayer meetings and stuff... and so today i heard from a number of people that because of this girl's appearance, people in grade nine or people who know her call her "pug" or "manbeast" not only behind her back but also to her face as in they actually address this person by those names! and supposedly when she was in grade seven and i was in grade eight, some people put dog food on this girl's lunch tray thingy... ! how can anyone be so cruel?! like, it's not like people choose the way they look before they're born! i think people expect me to laugh when they say things like "oh my God she's so ugly i feel sorry for her parents!" or "she looks like a frickin dog!" but ya know, it's NOT FUNNY. cuz guess what? God made us ALL and he made us ALL beautiful. perfectly beautiful. and that person is just as much a piece of God's artwork as the next person.

boy, it's time like these that i realize why i enjoy being around Christian people and why i share my inner feelings and secrets with Christian people and not really non Christians... i'm not trying to be discrimnatory, but honestly, i don't see a lot of Christians hating others or tormenting them for their appearance. i'm not saying some don't as i'm sure they do... but not the ones that i know. and i'm sure glad my friends don't think i look like a dog or whatever but what if i did? would they not be friends with me? just because i looked different? well i sure hope people aren't friends with me because i look "normal" or whatever because that's a pretty DUMB reason to be friends with someone.

also, there was this other situation that i was in where i met this girl who was such a total sweetie! and so, her mother is extremely obsessed with health and stuff which would explain why she made everyone order four meals for seven people and three cakes for seven people but taht's totally beside the point, anyhoo, her daughter starts talking about how her mother makes her run at treadmill for half an hour every single day and tells her every single day that she's fat and ugly. O_o (quasimodo) now that is just gayass if you ask me. just plain stupid. i ended up telling her mom that the inside was way more important than the outside (me and my mouth) and now i don't think she likes me very much but i hardly care because if you treat your daughter in such a rude way i have absolutely no problem being blunt about how i feel. and it's pretty dumb to judge people by their appearance at all. just shows people don't have enough intillect to know what really matters-- the HEART.

i've been slacking so much lately in blogging :P not good. i'm gonna try to update every day from now on... TRY is the key word =P

You know what? i don't think i really understand snobs. especially snobs who are Christians. wait a sec... snobby christians. does that even work? well apparently yes cuz i know a few myself. well not technically KNOW i guess i should say since they don't give me the time of day. i dunno. maybe i'm just paranoid... but don't you ever just get the feeling that someone just does NOT like you? or they think they're too good for you? my history teacher told me that it's a proven fact that people give off energy and some ppl give off positive energy and some ppl give off negative energy... and there's actually supposedly a machine that can measure these electric energy waves that come from... your heart. which i sjust like whoaa.... i wonder what kind of energy i have. prolly klutz energy since did i mention that in the past week i've walked smack in to the middle of a tree, slipped on the sidewalk, slid down a muddy hill, and i'm sure i've stepped on a lot of toes too =P my mom always says i'm unbalanced. am NOT. i just went through like four topics in the last paragraph. lovely.

my mom bought me mr. sushi tonite =9 =9 thanks mom =D i think i've turned into a sushi kleptomaniac... what's a kleptomaniac? i have no clue ... but it sounds cool... i'll look it up later. but yeah. *droool* it's so crazy how i look at my self before sushi as being so narrow minded now after i tried it. but when i hadn't tried it i though it made perfect sense to not eat something that hasn't been cooked. i mean, gross right? but no. so if your'e reading this and you don't eat sushi. you are missing out. i'm telling ya .. i've come out of non-sushi eaters anonamous man! =P mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm thankyou charlie.

i get to see the guy i like in three days (count em 1-2-3) *sigh* "three days is the east and he is the rising sun" ah love.

i just found out today... that my cutey friend (let's call him george) is not exactly the person that i thought he was. kay... george is such a cutie... he's super super nice and he's got dimples and he's funny and seemingly his only flaw is that he talks a little too much about uninteresting things such as "in brazil....." . but um yeah, i found out today that he is obsessed with pornographic material. and i was like no way! cute lil george?!?! O_O but yeah, i asked him to clarify it and he kinda answered yes but not like "yeah i am a porno machine" ya know? and my other friend bryson was there and clarified the previous statement as being true. and now... i just find it hard to look at george in the same way anymore. is that wrong? should something like that change my opinion of him so greatly? i mean afterall, as my other friend said "all guys like porno." ... erh?

sna is today. no ride :(
pno rehearsal. haven't practiced since wed.
i'm feeling really dumpy. this weekend is turning out to be a total bummer.
well, at least it's not snowing.

funny how it's april and it's snowing. but in the actual winter it doesn't snow =P how does that work? i'm hoping it clears up soon...cuz... i dunno i'm sick of snow. i like it when the snowflakes are falling but the ground is so yucky and klutzy me keeps slipping on it. hmph. *grumble*

SNA is this saturday! and me and "my girls" *teehee* don't have a ride there =*( *tear* ... no one can take us out to Toronto on sat and back ... i mean... i know that it's like not exactly a convenient arrangement or anything but.. i just really really really really really wanna go. sometimes, i actually wish i lived in toronto where stuff actually HAPPENS. i missed my TC team reunion (GO JACOB!) last week cuz of living so far away and i'm missing sna cuz of that too =( well also cuz of that stupid law that people can't drive until they're 16 and THEN... we still can't actually drive by ourself until 8 mths after that. talk about a bummer =P how is that even fair? it's not. i feel so "trapped". and i guess we could take the bus but um hullo! that's like $80 there and back i think... so like, why should we have to pay just because we weren't born a few years before we were born. no fair no fair . but i guess i shouldn't really be complaining cuz i at least get to go places or whatever =P right TM? ;)

yesterday our math teacher said "does art (movies, tv, music, etc) immitate life or does life immitate art?" O_o quasimodo face =P i care not to think about such a confusing subject but i thought i'd blog about it anyways so other people can be inflited with the torment of this mind boggling question =D

going to make myself an eggo.

oh boy oh boy haven't blogged in a long time! :(
TC was AWESOME! so awesome in fact that it would take a incredible ammount of time to type about so i'm not going to :P also, it's been a few weeks since so i'm pretty sure many ppl know already anyhoo :)

i was reading my friend's blog (which btw for some reason won't load on my comp anymore so i read it from my dad's, alsowhy you may find i went to it a LOT of times because i was trying to see if it would show up :P ) but yeah ... she was blogging about the time where Paul insulted a high priest and stuff but he supposedly didn't know it was a high priest so he was like [not in these words] "oh sorry i didn't know that guy was a high priest so i shouldn't have insulted him cuz the scriptures say not to insult people of higher authority than you" [something to that degree] oh boy. i didn't know the bible said not to insult people with a higher authority than you. :P i can just think of the bazillions of times i've insulted people of a "higher authority" i'm sure everyone reading this can too. :P *sigh* but how does that even make sense? like, if your government is doing screwed up stuff you can't say they suck? erh that doesn't make any sense at all. and also, when someone is mean to you, blames you for stuff you didn't do, and tells you you can't be friends with the people you're friends with, is it not just to be angry with them? i guess it isn't right to react in anger towards anyone... :P but in terms of only the people of higher authority... being put in a place of authority does NOT give you the right to be an asshole or the like.

also in response to my friend's blog, i think birth control within marriage is ok. because who really wants to have fifty bazillion kids no adays? one could argue that God will give you however many kids he desires you to have. but i realy doubt that God expects everyone to keep having sex without any control ever. if everyone did that we would all end up with fifty kids running around like people in like india or wherever and that would be crazy and we'd over populate the earth and AH! it's a catastrophe just because people think it's wrong to use birth control. i don't know what the problem is with birth control. it doesn't kill anyone since the baby has not fomed at all so it's not like abortion or anything. well... i guess it is just up to the married couple of whether to use it or not. it's their life, and if they want fifty kids then so be it :) me on the other hand, i'm going to start a condom collection.

going to toronto in THREE HOURS!!!! *^_^* YAY! =) =)

Friday nite was Lifesong :) got to pick up some sushi right before so that was good :) and yeah. Lifesong was really good. i mean, it was funny and entertaining... but it also made me think about my life... and umm well the testimonies some were people talking about how they struggled and they already were Christians and stuff.. i guess that's how i've been feeling alot lately. It's like alexis said about the Dr. Jeckl and Mr. Hyde cuz it's like, i have two personalities... one is the sweet, bubblie, Jasmine who loves Jesus SO MUCH and loves everyone and bla bla bla... on the other hand there's the Jasmine who likes to swear, badmouth people, and does a great many un-Godly things. i think i really need to "get up" in my spiritual life... and decide once and for all. and perhaps... this is why i've had so much trouble deciding about baptism... :? i'm so glad for tc... just to be able to get away from the norm and just be with God and reflect on stuff ... but anyhoo, yah Lifesong was really cool and effective. and also, i got to chat with a lot of ppl :) and kevin gave me a sign to wear that says "Feel like talking? Ask me!" HA HA HA HA Clara says it suits my personality :P

Yesterday... praylude had a joint fellowship with the Mandarin Youth fellowship. we played bball for an hour and then jo, dora, tiffy, simon, and i decided to go jogging in the rain! LA LA LA fun :)_ and then we watched this weird video zzzz (no offense) and played bball for another hour... it was sosososososo fun :) only there was this snobby guy in the mandarin fellowship and dora got her finger jammed :( poor dora :( and also i am SO SORE! my whole entire body hurts :( i think i need to excersize more :P

crap! i have to pack :P ttfn! :)

YES! = ) = ) = ) MARCH BREAK! *^_^*
time to PARTEEEE!!!

what can i say? i hate school. that's about it.
oh and also tc is in 5 days! :)

cold hard butter just out of the fridge is nasty. :P it's hard to spread too :P
exercise is fun ... especially when you do it with your closest friends! but it's not as fun as the SAUNA! mmmm yeah! :) go us joy luck girls!!! ^_^ but wouldn't it be scary to be locked inside a sauna omg omg omg. you'd like be shrivelled and evaporated O_O
note: i think i just gained back all the calories i burnt off today :P hmph.
well anyhoo, tc's coming up! AHHHHHHH! *^_^* Toronto here i come! :)
Also, i have a prayer request: My cousin's pregnant!!!! :) :) but she has two of those... umm asists are they called? :( :( in her tummy so please pray for her safety and the safety of her baby! thanks!

sushi is so good. i wish i could eat sushi everyday. :) i resolved that after school on monday before work i'm going to get myself some sushi since i actually know what it is that we ordered haha as opposed to last nite, my day was great :) at like 9:15 i went to the rec center with heidi and jo and sat in the gallery while they swam laps ... i got to breathein a lot of chlorinated water vapour and indulge myself in my sketching meditations :) yay! at um 10:30 heidi dropped me off at clara's and we like sat around chatting and making fun of toby haha ^_^ he's so funny.. and i got to see my lil pics which look SO much better all put together in that humongous frame then on their own! soon after anita got back we went to grab some sushi and anita went to meet jess and yeah... the sushi man SO creeps me out! he's funny though... he loves clara! when we were leaving he's like "bye clara my angel" HA HA HA HA HA yeah... that man is so funny! ^_^ on the way back we were talking about our weddings... *sigh* i can't wait til my wedding ... it's gonna be SO amazing. i have a long while to wait though :( :P anyhoo, we had lunch which was SO GOOD but way too filling and watched A Makeover Story and the ppl on it were so funny... it was kind of ironic cuz they were married and when they got married their wedding nite was a movie and dinner and me and clara were just like O_O cuz well ok what kind of wedding reception is that? not one :P strange that we were just talking about weddings though :? anyhoo, so they were getting a makeover for their belated wedding reception and the guy was so funny he was trying to act so badass and stuff :) haha that show is cool :) after that i learned how to make a cube hahaha uncoordinated little me :P kinda got worried cuz tim said he was coming to get me at 1:30 and at 2:00 he still wasn't there but it was ok cuz he didn't forget me :D and then we went to church and had a bible study about the characteristics of God and then i came home and slept for two hours... my parents came home and didn't realize iwas sleeping and called jo's place to ask them if they knew where i was and i was right there sleeping :P haha freakos :) well there's my day :) i'm out lates

CANADA RULES!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *^_^* <3<3
hockey is cool and the hockey players are hot :9

on another note. just leave me alone.

how can people say they care if they don't show it? how can people just suddenly stop caring? right now. i feel like... like... really confused becuase i miss some people so much but at the same time i am SO ANNOYED with them. it's crazy. whatever. they don't have to care if they don't want to.

it's been so long since i've blogged :P
well ... the formal has been over for an entire week. everything seems so bo-o-o-o-ring :P because... i dunno there's nothing interesting to do or thing about as much. but OH WELL :D
ok AHEM
Friday, Febuary 8th, 2002.
The school day passed soooooo slowly. i remember watching the clock constantly waiting for the day to end and when i wasn't watching the clock i was day dreaming about what the night would be like. A lot of my friends didn't even go to school that day because they wanted to spend the ENTIRE day getting ready O_o ok... i'd have liked to skip school but no. anyhoo, the day finally ended and joanna, dora, kat, and i piled into dora's car and drove to her house where we proceeded to gather our stuff which had been left there in the morning so as not to wrinkle our dresses, etc. and i also borrowed a towel because i'd forgotten mine at home. why i'm blogging about that i dunno but yeah. k anyhoo, we then left dora's and drove to clara's actually DM drove because yeah, we already had our illegal driving experience and everyone knows how THAT turned out =P so we got to clara's and contrary to my fears, everything was cool and unawkward with everyone so *sMiLe* anyhoo, the next few hours were a mix of showering, watching Down to You (the most pointless movie in the world except for that Freddie Prinz Jr. was in it =9 yummmmm) and clara beautifying us heeheee :) thanx sweetie!!! ^_^ and ummm yeah Toby came =) and then the pizza came =) and we were watching Ever After (i LOVE that movie!!!) and Emmie came to say hi =) and yeah we were pretty much just bumming, eating, and looking pretty heehee i am SO glad we ate cuz there was no food at the formal :( :( and yeah but that's ok cuz i was full anyhoo =) but yeah the silly thing is, we had like more fun getting ready than at the actual formal itself O_o which doesn't make sense i know :P well we got to the formal a half an hour late and that was fine :) it was really pretty in there and it was fun dancing the nite away! :) a few flaws included david-- dora's stalker of the nite, and my feeling lonely the first slow song because =*( my date was in MISSISSAUGA =P hmph. but ya know, in the end i was actually glad i was dateless because i got to hang out with EVERYONE and drift amongst the different social groups and see all my friends and i wasnt attached to one person for the nite and i got to dance with more than just one guy :) i became unlonely ^_^ one guy was about to dance with his date but when he saaw me come by he ditched her to dance with me :) :) i am not a date stealer... she got him for the rest of the nite :) :) :) *grin* kat and marx were also the cutest couple there by far!!! afterwards, my dad drove us home ... we got home at around 1 am and dora slept over... "slept" i mean... we stayed up til 4:30 am talking about everything and stuffing ourselves with beefsteak pie and brownies O_o yeah... and we slept til 12:30 pm the next day. THE END. yeah it was really really really really fun :) :) i can't really explain it good :P

i took the "Friends" test on emode.com and i'm supposedly most like:
Rachel
She's everybody's sweetheart, despite some (mostly) endearing quirks. And it looks like you too, have a little Rachel Green inside you. (If you're lucky, you might share her good looks too). Some may see you as a little spoiled, or at times naive. But overall you're a total doll. Like the real Rachel, you make your way in the world, figuring it out as you go.
Sometimes your story-book ideals of how things should turn out keep you from taking life as it comes, but that lovable vulnerability just makes people feel closer to you. You have true compassion, an idiosyncratic side your friends delight in—and, of course, great taste. Reminder, o charming one: People love it when you call them "hun."
everyone take this test it's cool :) lates

the formal was yesterday. i can't believe that the only thing that's been on my mind ofr the past month has come and gone already. i can truly say it was an amazing nite... one of the best i've had. -- a few flaws perhaps, as dora and i discussed... but i would gladly relive that night again and again. i've decided that i'll go into detail about this next time i blog because i can't bring myself to describe it in the full way that i would like to because i'm really too upset at this point.

i feel tired. in mind ... i'm not physically tired at all. just like i don't care about anythign ... or ... ugh i don't even know how to describe it. i feel like i wanna cry but i'm not sure why. it's so dumb really. and there isn't really anyone to talk to. everyone's kind of busy. and for some reason i just don't really want to pray., i know taht's not a good thing and i want to talk to God but i just... i don't know. i feel so sad and i can't figure out why and that's really pissing me off. *sigh* i can't even explain it properly. this is so dumb.

artichokes.

how did that just make you feel? i'm not sure. why? i don't know. no, there is actually no particular reason that i put that there. sorry to all those reason loving people out there. i am greatly remorseful.
does everything have to have a reason? and if so, does the reason need to be something that is "life and death"? and am i supposed to know the reasons for everything? i think not. i guess i should not be the one to talk since i ask so many questions. i may be a drama queen but at least i don't look at every single situation and analyze it for the meaning of life.

also, QUIT BEING SO INCONSISTENT! i reallly don't like it when ppl act one way one minute and then change so fast the next. it's like today i'll be their really good friend and then the next day i'm just ignored or something. i dunno. i just get so confused with ppl. especially when they are close to me. it hurts ok?

i realized some things last nite and today. i'm a dumbass and i'm worthless. that's it. nothing else.

doing this right now is almost a form of meditation. crazy? maybe... but my mind is completely and utterly filled to the brim right now and over flowing into my fingers that i just can't stop typing right now or at least that's what it feels like.
do you ever think about your life.. no not just your life... your being. step back and look at the big picture of you and realize wow. and you're breathless. at least that's how i feel right now-- breathless. like every breath i'm taking is signifigant-- though normally overlooked as something just completely normal it suddenly seems like such a miracle. and the fact that right now i'm chillaxing in my pajamas (yes my pj's still :P), surrounded by junk and the wallpaper i used to hate when i moved here and listening to Mandy Moore's "Crush" seemingly everyone and everything has disappeared except for myself and my thoughts. i just sit and feel so content in everything.

well i took a good look at myself and my life today. especially since all my many plans were cancelled today i just had time to be alone and think. although a lot of this time was spent on the phone. :) it was nice though because i got to talk to a really good friend of mine-- we haven't really actually talk talked in a while :( but yeah ... somehow throughout our conversation she suddenly asked me how many times a week i actually talk on the phone. and i was confused but answered. i'm not going to tell the whole world that answer except that it's a lot of times.*blush*...and well, she pointed out that whenever i'm drowning in troubles or maybe if i'm only ankle deep in them, my first reaction is to tell someone. and she said it worried her because one day i'm going to turn around and find that there is no one there to talk to because everyone is occupied. "no way" i said. "that'll never happen" i paused. "but what if it does?" she said "what then?" another pause.. "i'd freak" i admitted. so from now on i am going to try and pray about the "traumatic event" first, secondly i'l think about past experiences/advice i have stored in my head and see if the problem is fixable by myself, and THEN talk to someone about it. *grin* that way, i won't be needy forever. hahahahaha
but that conversation struck up a thought in my brain-- the fact that i am SO LUCKY. God's blessed me with so much in life it's crazy. how i deserve such grace is beyond me... i don't actually. God is just so good. i guess that's just unconditional love for ya :) i realized that i'm so lucky to live in this life. that everything around me is so comforting and safe. where new experiences are exciting and no matter what happens it seems there's always someone for me to turn to. if one person's not there i'll got to another, if that person's not that then i'll go to another ... and so on and so forth. i'm so lucky to live here where i'm loved, accepted, and cared for. where i can call people up to drive me places, or people will just offer to do me these huuuuuge favors that just make my life experience so wonderful because i just have a place in the insane world and people that love me and care about me and when i face troubles or rejection, there's always people to stand by me. sometimes, i really do feel like a Princess even though technically... i'm not... but hey, afterall, i AM His Girl! "cuz i'm His girl, i'm an heir to His kingdom, and i'm justified and purified by the cleansing of His blood. i'm His girl and He's made me a Princess and He calls me beautiful and i think that's enough..." ~Fear of God~
i guess i'm really really scared to go to university ... especially when i realize i have only two years left. it's like a *whoa* when i think omg i'm gonna go off to some strange place where i don't know anyone and i'm gonna be living by myself and i think omg i don't even do my own laundry and what if i dont' meet people and i'll have no friends and pretty soon i'm just hyperventalating cuz wow. geez i'm just a baby.

O_o i'm such a drama queen.

new experiences are good once in a while. i went to clara's today at 11:00 supposedly for lunch but ended up staying there til 4:00 O_o how we managed to burn that much time surprises me...but yeah, i tried something i said i'd never ever ever ever touch. ... but i did. and it was soooper good! i tried sushi hahaha yeah all look at me in confusion... the reason it's so weird for me (if you don't know) is because for one thing, i barely eat seafood let alone RAW seafood. and i told my parents and friends that i would never ever eat it. but yeah the sushi man was scary but the sushi was good :9 yum!

i'm really really really excited about the formal! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~ that is an illustration of my excitement i can't put it into words!

oh! and also, i realized that i really appreciate it when people DON"T tell me how much they miss being old and being an adolescent. it doesn't help it makes me feel like an ingrate and like i should be enjoying the emotional rollercoasters i am going through so thanks for not saying it if you don't. and also, would everyone please just stop leaving?! :P

dress shopping tommorow... sleep time... nite. *

i'm FREEEEEE!!!!! ^_^ hahahaha exams are OVER yes! i'm a little overexcited about this coming week of doing NOTHING absolutely nothing mwahahahahahaha except bumming and shopping for the FORMAL! which is next friday! omg! :) :) *grin*

i made an interesting observation this morning as joanna and i were attempting to concentrate on math review for our exam that was only an hour away... opps.:P it's kind of weird but two of my friends are a lot alike! i commented to them when we were at Harvey's that from a semi side view, a looked like a miniature b... i guess they have some of the same outer traits: both chinese, short ;) . have glasses, skinny :P , same kind of hair style, yeah... ok that's a lot of the same outer traits... but today i came to the realization that many of their inner traits and interests, etc are alike as well... they are both computer literate, both like to read and are amazing at writing, both are quite technical about stuff, they both kinda are "undramatic" unlike myself.. they don't tend to make a huge deal outta everything that happens, both don't miss people very easily, both kind of don't really express their deep feelings a lot... kinda don't show everything they feel... yeah., ummm... yeah there's more but i am tired and i dont feel like typing anymo0re :P :) btw, i'll let you ppl guess for yourselves who they are just cuz i wanna see if other ppl agree :) teehee... and if you have no clue that either means i'm totally wrong or you don't know these two buddies of mine and in that case it's prolly doesn't matter does it? :) haha ok i'm out-- muah***

guess what?
Jasmine Choi CHANGED her HAIR! ^_^ yes it is a big step for me if you didn't know. i normally won't even cut it let alone cut it this short! anyhoo, i don't really have pics of it... but there are some on em's site if you know her and if you don't then... you can come see me in person. :) :) also, dora and i decided that the "adulturous" owner of the place we go to cut our hair loves money and Angel is fake and has an evil plan to steal Mye's customers. hahahaha yyyyyessss...

guess what else? i'm going to the formal!!!! ^_^ why? because it's not my fault that Mo moved to mississauga and i shouldn't have to mope around by myself all nite just cuz of that. Also, because Dora is now going alone too... and plus, it's ok to go alone because clara did and she is definitely not a loser so there.

i had the worst day today. i have decided not to explain in detail but part of it included wiping out and falling down the stairs where the like hottest guy in the whole school was standing. yeah. the day sucked. but tommorow may be better :?

Ever had something special... just for a second... and then it just disapates? "Before the setting sun has disappeared the moon is rising high... and time waits for no man seasons come and go... in the midst of an ever changing world, this one thing i know. You've got to live every moment, as though it was your last, before the theif of always steal tommorow from your grasp.." Jaci Velasquez
How true those words are. There are so many things that people should just DO because ... there's not ALWAYS gonna be a "tommorow" to do it.

As many of my friends know, as of late, the object of my stress has not been on next week's exams but on the upcoming formal. Mainly, getting a date. I thought at the beginning that i would go no matter what... i was like a child on christmas eve waiting for santa to come or something. my friends were making plans with me and i with them... i just... didnt' really think about how i really liked this one guy and really wanted to go with him to this grand social event. this guy is a total sweetheart and i guess ... i admit now that i've liked him for some time... like a few months. but i guess i was too chicken to admit it or make a move. so yesterday, i FINALLY got the nerve to ask him to go to the formal with me. he said no. well actually he said yes but no because he was going to his dad's in missisauga. oh. i said. ok. today... i found out that my assumption about him going to his dad's for that weekend of the formal was incorrect. in fact, he's moving out to mississauga to live with his dad this weekend. i have a hug and an email address to remember this guy by. After school today while i didn't notice that jo karen heidi alex and karen's floormate were leaving, i was talking to the guy's friend. he'd overheard me talking about the guy and asked me if i liked him. i replied yes and he said he thought the guy maybe liked me back too. which i am not positive it was true though so... dunno. and then he asked me if i wanted him to ask the guy out for me. too late. ya know, if i hadn't waited so long to say something, he'd maybe have been my bf. :? whatever.
also, another comment. never ever ever ever wait to communicate. you could lose someone you love love love love love.

On a brighter note, karen came up today for ccf winter retreat and got together with us after school for some nice chilling at Sweet Dreams :9 yum satisfying my craving for bbtea :) :) (see previous blog) it was jo, em, kare, heidi, and i. and also alex at the very end ... but before he came we were playing boggle. it's this game that's like word racer on yahoo... anyhoo, it was funny because karen really really sucked :) but i wasn't too much better:) hahaha em of course, being the English buff of the group won by far ... well... by far from me... i think the ending score was kare=1 jasy=10 heidi=20 jo=25 and em=27 ... something like that. anyhoo, i found some profanity in the boggle thing. that was interesting. and also, today after school i wiped out going up the stairs. boy was that NOT FUN. :P note to self: always hold the railing when going up slippery wet stairs so as not to make self look like fool O_o

I have a sudden craving for bubble tea. i'm not sure why but i do. It's soooooo good. especially since the straws can be used to launch the tapioca pearls at others :) heehee which reminds me of the time when heidi, jo, becca, karen, waiki, and i ...were at Market Village having bubble tea and waiki was talking about how the straw make great pea shooters... well, if you know me, you know i had to try it out. and pretty soon we were having this tapioca fight which ended in my splashing karen with mango flavoured tea all over her fleece.. oppps. some tea was in my straw without me knowing ok? :P

it's cool when you ask someone how their love life is every time you talk to them always getting the same "nonexistant" answer and suddenly it changes :) heehee specially if you can totally guess who has made it existant ^_~

it is monday.
exciting day... sort of. marx FINALLY said yes to kat... he wasn't even going to tell (dumb shyness) her but when he was walking by me and kat at the end of the day i yelled "MARX!" and he turns around and then goes up to kat and is like "kat will you go to the formal with me?" ^_^ which was SOOSOOOOOO cute!!!!! ^_^ omg wow. and kat's like "sure" and he left and me and kat were freaking out so much :) it was amazingly cool... i'm worried though... i don't have a date yet :*( *sigh* i prolly won't get one.... i am praying about it too which is maybe dumb... does God care about me getting a date for the formal? :?

wow. i'm on icq right now and i'm talking to pat and he just made my day. he told me never to change because i'm perfect just the way i am. lately i've been feeling like EVERYONE wants me to change. cuz no one is ever satisfied with ME. but that just made me feel so amazing and loved thanks pat you're so awesome ... you have like no idea how much that meant just now even though it might seem not that big of a deal. it is.

you know what's weird? when you find out you have all this stuff in common with another person you thought you had nothing in common with... and it's like all at the same time... it's kinda weird. i mean it just is. not that it's really bad or anything just never really happened to me before. O_o :)

"The Poplars" by Claude Monet is so pretty ... it reminds me of the beginning of the "Sound of Music".

my greatgrandfather (my dad's grandfather on his father's side) passed away. he was ninety eight years old. he was a really nice guy. well... what i knew anyways. my grandmother(his son's exwife) took care of him til the last day. and now those stupid relatives of his that never showed up while he was living are coming back and insisting on this buddhist burial thing. my grandma just recently became a Christian (Praise God! :) ) but he wasn't. :*( i guess that's what troubles me the most ... i never knew him well... i remember him but we weren't at all close him being in HK and me being here.. he was 98 that's pretty old... but it's just.. doesn't seem like it's fair. why couldn't he die after he maybe became a Christian? my grandma did so could have he! i feel so .... sad. it just seems so unfair... *sigh* i don't know.

i think i know how cinderella must have felt while she was anticipating the night of her life at that ball of hers. but perhaps not. cuz well ... she had a prince charming waiting for her there. and i guess a formal isn't exactly a BALL but hey, closest thing I"VE ever been to and i am so umm... i dunno. mixed feelings. my friends at school are all getting psyched and ready and i am right along with them :) nudging them to JUST ASK HIM or assuring them that he's say yes ... so in a way it's really happy. in another way ... i'm nervous. no one's asked me to go to the formal with them yet... and i can't ask anyone because i dont' like anyone! i wouldn't know who to ask! but i really really really want a date still... just to go with someone as friends :? i guess. dunno. and in yet another way i'm terrified. terrified that if i go i'll trip or something and look like a total geek and *sigh* i can't believe i'm going insane about this. it's not in another month. :P

Verbal Diarhea

There is a hole from my brain to my mouth and sometimes to my fingers. that's why this blogging stuff does me so much good... i can let it out without actually saying exactly what i mean... like, speak in code so i don't hurt anyone but still get it all out... sometimes i can't even hold it all in til then though. :P blah. sometimes i catch myself in mid speaking and suddenly stop and studder and act like i didnt' know what i was saying when in reality i know exactly what i was going to say. but sometimes i realize i should have thought more about it before saying it because well... i guess sometimes you just shouldn't say certain things. wow. this is a revolution. i never used to care at all... i would just speak everything on my mind. but i think now i know it's important to keep a little bit of stuff unsaid if it's for the greater good. afterall, speaking my mind gives me only temporary satisfaction and sometimes it can lead to pretty devastating consequences.

The difference between like and love is when you're in like, you want to live with the object of your like... but when you're in love, you can't live without them. and then i guess, after today, there is an in between ... a really like ... or something like that. i have been in like many times... i kinda have like a flavour of the week :P opps not cool. but i think the only time i've been in love was... well... that one time that i thought this guy was my soulmate and that we would meet in a restaurant one day in the future and get married *sigh* i really could not live without this person at the time... but maybe... it was infatuation :? who knows, i thought i was love. but it's over now anyways so meh. speaking of marriage... people are starting to move into a different life stage... marriage. i have friends getting married in august... and i have another friend who's already married as of last year and has a BABY (so cute!) as of this year... i feel so young. i mean, i'm in highschool still and they are getting married and having kids ... settling down ¬_¬ oh my. kind of scary. but i think i'm kind of starting to like being the age that i am... next year will be better though ...
15 reasons why 16 is better than 15:
1. DRIVING! oops i meant driving LEGALLY. ^_~
2. I can sing "I am sixteen going on seventeen" and actually BE sixteen going on seventeen! ^_^
3. no more T.A.P. (Teacher Advisory Period... GAYNESS!)
4. I'll be one year closer to actually for real being in second year university.
5. it'll be a "sweet" year
6.sixteen is the year where everything happens to people in books and movies and t.v. eg. Ariel (little mermaid) is 16 when the movie happens and she meets her Prince.
7.Miguel is sixteen.. mmmm Miguel (from Passions which i like now by the way.)
8. It's got seven letters in it and seven is my lucky number.
9. People make a bigger deal of it then your 15th birthday... because well it's your "Sweet Sixteen"
10. Did i mention driving?
11. One more candle on my birthday cake :) pretty fire ...
12. Grade eleven is more fun than grade ten since seniors are treated SO much better than Juniors :P
13. People treat you more like an adult but you can still act like an idiot all the time :P :)
14. ummmm....
15. sixteen is a multiple of four. so... dunno. four leaf clovers are lucky ya know?
LOL i'm such a geek.

it's the last weekend before school starts AGAIN. i swear it's like neverending. school is so dumb dumb dumb dumb ok. i wish there was some way to just stall time............................. like that. but that might be brutally boring.

Anyhoo, last nite a bunch of us (pastor tim, heidi, jo, wayne, dora, kat, caleb, tiff, simon, dexter, alex, and myself) went up to Chris's niece's mansion in Burlington :) yay! i love that place so much cuz everytime they go somewhere tim and chris babysit their house and we get to go there and do stuff like in the summer we went swimming in their big backyard pool... and last nite we stepped in to the house on their HEATED TILES O_O and we had supper and watched Moulin Rouge which is now officially my FAVOURITE movie of all time! :) it's the best! i cried and cried and cried. :P i'm a wimp but it was soooooo amazing and sad. and i love musicals haven't watched one in a long time... the songs are so pretty (most of them) i love the "I hope you don't mind" song... i wish a guy would sing that to ME :P i went home and downloaded the songs from the movie :) hahahaha the duke was SO MEAN. i remember him from another movie but i'm not sure what one. i hate him i hate him... i like the guy that doesn't really talk much but keeps saving Satine from things like falling and being raped by the duke. he's so sweet! and Ewin Macguire (sp?) is SOOOOOO CUTE! *sigh* why can't i be in his world? :P
going to see Lord of the Rings today... O_o hope i actually understand it :P hobbits are so weird.

i am reallllyyyyy bored. can you tell? i don't even know what an autobot is :)

the thing about icq that i don't like is the fact that you never know for sure. you never know if the person you're talking to is REALLY the person you think you're talking to. and also, you never know if someone else is reading over their shoulder. it scares me to think of all the important thinks i talk about to ppl on icq... just trusting that no one is there or it's really the person. i have had the "enlightening" experience of talking to someone about something important on icq and then finding out someone else was sitting right next to them the whole time... it does get quite uncomfortable expecially if the person sitting there is involved in the stuff you were saying :P opps. i get this sorta weird feeling when i know there's someone right there.. even when i'm not talking about anything of a private degree... but it helps when i know so i won't start :)

i might go to the formal. i'm not sure. i don't have a dress. and i don't have a date-- yet. but i might get one-- or i mean both. it might be fun... but i am just a tiny bit nervous of the process of getting either. if no one asks me it'll be sad. :( but i've got my fingers crossed

do you ever feel like someone's mad at you? but they just won't say anything... or they are really different... and you wanna tell them cuz it's like annoying you... but you just can't. i am aggreviated and i can't even explain it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! 2002 is gonna be i blast i can feel it! ^_^ i was just outside and i looked up in the sky and the moon is sooooo pretty right now. it's a perfect circle and there's like a haze of yellow around it and then purple and blue... i dunno really how to describe it but it's really beautiful. new year's eve was fun! :) it was nice to be able to spend time with those prolly closest to me. :)
As i reflect on the last moments of 2001...
the last song i sang: Rasberry Ladie ( a song i composed today at work in a state of craziness. for those who don't know, Rasberry Ladee is a lady who is terribly smee ^_~ and crazee! basically she's me when i'm in that state of mind :P) o/~rasberry ladiee is so smee woo wa wee wooooooo :) hahahahaha anyhoo... O_o
the last word i said: one! :)
the last group of people i was with: mom, dad, jo, heidi, irina, alex, auntie maureen, and uncle keith! :)
the last game i played: taboo! :)
i can't think of anymore last things...
oh! the last drink i had was apple cider :9
so.... what of new year's resolutions? i barely ever keep them but this year i really want to have some persaverance in my resolutions. cuz well, what's the point if i don't keep them :? wellll... i think these are it. but this is sorta a rough draft. i need to think some more about it before they are for sure for sure.
1) no more swearing or saying "oh my God"
2) to stop talking about people behind their backs... i wanna be more upfront i guess, if i really dont' like someone i think they deserve to know cuz well, that's what i'd want... :?
3)do devotions EVERY day... no excuses ^_~
4)think before i speak. (hmmm... impossible? maybe.)
i think i will stop there. that's plenty enough for me. at least for now :) *grin*
anyhoo, gonna go now... luv you all ( you know who you all are) oh btw, i'm thirsting for some email coffeecutie_jc@yahoo.ca email me if you have time? :) thanks a bunch! hugs*~*~*