A random assortment of information

I almost threw up at work today. I do not handle people's gross body odor well. It makes my stomach lurch and my head pound. My supervisor gave me her Marc Jacobs (!) daisy ring to wear though! It was perfume filled!

I love broccoli and cheese quiche. And I really appreciate the company of Kat, Amanda, and Esther.

I'm waiting for my laundry to be done so I can stick it in the dryer and go to sleep.

I need to get the laundry done so I can wake up early in the morning and shove it in a bag and go camping for the weekend.

PPIC's and SMORES justify sleeping on the dirty cold ground with bugs.

Marie Digby's single Say It Again has a video! (Watch. The props are really cool.):

"...and never in my whole life have I heard words as beautiful as when you say my name..."

Long Weekends mean something again!

When I wasn't in school, weekends didn't mean much. Long weekends meant nothing.

But this long weekend I soaked up the holiday like double-quilted bounty!

I made a trip to Toronto and packed basically every minute of everyday with fun and food. Mainly food. Here is a vague schedule accompanied by some visuals:

Friday night: frantic shopping, Go for Tea with Bee, Andrew, Nate, and Jo (bbt and popcorn chicken)
Saturday: Ikea breakfast with Jo and Carson, Ina and Brian's wedding ceremony, trip to visit Alison in Ajax with Laura and Jo (laura secord), Ina and Brian's wedding reception
Sunday: church at ntcbc (after which there were croissants!), Shanghai lunch with Laura and Jo, shopping downtown, meeting up with Deborah (baskin robbins, starbucks, mcd's), karaoke at Laura's
Monday: breakfast with Euming and Jo (Rosti! mmmm!), visit CC, lunch with Tiff and Jo (cha siu/sew yuk faan!), head to Laura's for bbq, FIREWORKS!, bubble tea at The Sugar
Tuesday: lunch downtown with Kat and Laura at Salad King (which honestly, isn't that great for the price! Way to get worked up about nothing!)

Tuesday ups and downs

Routines

Starbucks is a good Tuesday routine. And their new breakfast sandwiches give Kat and I great excitement. I had the sausage and egg today which was ok, but next week I will most definitely be getting the eggs flourentine.

I really like Social Welfare Policy too. Even if it is at 10am. And not just because of oogling the professor.

Other things

"This town is colder now, I think its sick of us.
..steady hands just take the wheel, every glance is killing me.
..all my senses push, untie the weight bags, I never thought I could.

Steady feet don't fail me now.

Yeah i know that everyone gets scared-- but I've become what I can't be."

"So we'll say our goodbyes, I know it's better that way... we won't break we won't die its just a moment of change.

..I need to get some perspective on these words before I write them down."

Considering how often I emo-ize One Republic lyrics, it's a good thing I'm going to their concert! =P

The Second Monday

My blog titles aren't very interesting, are they? Oh, well.

It's the second week back and I feel like I need to really get into "school mode".
I've been a better student than I feel like I've ever been... but yet, am I good enough?
Maybe improvement is futile unless you improve to 'the' degree of adequacy.

Or maybe it's the second bloody week and I need to take a chill pill. haha

As of today-- I no longer drink bottled water. And I really want to start getting all my coffee in a thermos/tumbler, so I'm hoping to make my Starbucks one soon.

Time for class again.

What's that funky smell?

Friday early-morning blogs may become a habit.

I have a 9oclock class on Fridays but my most convenient ride in arrives at Renison at about 8:20, leaving me a good 40 minutes to kill before class.

Of all my classes, this is the only one I haven't had yet. Community Organization. And for some reason I'm dreading it more than any of my others. Will I really be able to stay awake for a four hour class that starts at 9 in the freaking morning?

Lucky things-- Renison has a cafeteria from which I just got some free coffee and it doesn't taste too terrible.

Not so lucky things-- the caffeine hasn't kicked in yet.

That and my bag emits the funky smell of cold cuts from the sandwich in there when I open it. Not condusive (sp?) to friend-making.

Note to self: Find a better sandwich container.

Why I (and possibly Kat as well) should never bake.

We followed the directions perfectly. To the letter. And I have documentative pictures to prove it!

But somehow, this is what became of our shortbread cookies:

Bummer.

Day Two

A honey latte makes it far easier to stay up during a morning class.

I'm weird, I know, but I like walking into class dressed decently, with a starbucks in hand. It makes me feel more prepared. Why looking good and having trendy coffee makes me more prepared for sitting there for three hours to take notes and discuss politics and welfare policy? .... don't ask. But if you look good you feel good! Feeling smart and confident makes me more likely to have interesting ideas to contribute to class discussions.

Plus, I have a giant crush on my prof.

I can't help it! He makes everything so interesting! Even social policy! I mean, come on. He's so brilliant and passionate in an infectuous way. And he remembered me from the one class I took with him an entire year ago! :)

I sound crazy. But hey, if this enthusiasm carries throughout the term-- I'm not going to skip or fall asleep in a single class! *Grin*

The First Day of School

My first day of school in a year.

It's a crazy feeling, people.

All in all, it hasn't been extraordinarily torturous as one might think. I actually enjoyed my first class. Ok, so I've only had one class. Maybe too soon to be relieved.

Renison library is pretty decent, so I think I'll be hibernating in here quite a bit this term.

It would be nice to have my laptop back though. Come on, HP, move move move!

(Night class in 20 minutes... we'll see how that goes.)

Also! I love this song:

Tree Hugger Animation

CHAINSAW MASSACRE!!!

I awoke this morning, to the sound of chainsaws.

Something didn't seem right about it... it sounded as if it were coming from INSIDE my house.

I won't lie, my heart did a little jump while I entertained thoughts of some crazy psycho looking for his victim. But eventually, I worked up the nerve to make my way downstairs toward the sound and outside my front door are two men with chainsaws!

After a few seconds I recognized one of them as Wallace's dad. And saw bits of our evergreen coming off-- so I figure they're helping us trim our tree. How nice. It was a bit overgrown.

I went back upstairs.

WHAT A MISTAKE! -- When I came back down THIS is what I saw outside my house:

Pauvre arbre! :(

Moving requires great strategy, you know.

While helping Bee move out yesterday, Andrew, Bernice, and I are sitting on her mattress, backs against the wall, eyes scanning the vast spread of bags and boxes that have yet to be moved into the car:

Bee: How abouuuuuttt... we move the mattress down first. Then we can see how much space is left to fit everything else.

Me (somewhat unenthusiastically): ok.

Andrew: But wait! ... if we move the mattress now, where will we sit to contemplate our next move?

Me(having already thought that over, of course): Oh, there's another mattress under this one.

Andrew: OH, ok then. :)

[Bee shoots self. ... haha not really.]

It ain't easy to say goodbye. (So darling, please don't start to cry.)

cuz girl you know I've got to go.

and lord, I wish it wasn't so.

Tomorrow I'll be gone.

People in the Philipines are helping me fix my laptop.

I finally stopped being so incredibly lazy and called HP to get my laptop fixed. I figured it was about time since it might be nice to have a laptop when school starts in two weeks. (uck)

Mark, the customer service guy, was helping me out and asks: "How's the weather over there?"

I respond politely. "Nice! It's like summer lately... but it's supposed to get cold. How's the weather where you are?"

"I'm offshore."

"offshore?"

"Yes, this is HP Philipines. It's summer here."

"Oh! Wow!!" :D

Unfortunately, he cut me off before I could divulge to him how much I love Manila and show off the three Tagalog words I know: Kamusta mahal kita!

Shut the blood up, Rayman!

I've discovered (or just realized) a new pet peeve and a possible explanation of why i don't like playing video games.

It drives me NUTS when people are playing some stupid game and SCREAMING! -- Chill out , geeze! As if the game itself doesn't already have enough ugly screaming bunnies to give anyone a headache! I hate Ray Man(sp?)!!

I suppose it's my own fault for willingly coming over to Kat's knowing they were going to play wii, but shoot me, i have nothing better to do.

While I wait for my NYLON. (still.) (where are you?!??!)

ROAR

Gossip Girl has been kicked off CTV by ... DEGRASSI!! I mean come on! I know two people who actually watch Degrassi v.s. a million in love with GG! >:( Now you can only watch GG on the CW. AND I DO NOT HAVE DIGITAL CABLE!!!

Gawd.

AND! I hate the smell of celery and it's infiltrating the main floor of my house. barf.

DOUBLE and!-- its the "end of an era". *sigh*

edit: The Hills always puts me in a better mood. *happy sigh* -- at least their drama doesn't make me want to pull my hair out.

Not now, please&thanks.

feeling it
like the nudge of a small wave against the dock,
reluctant to actually overtake its surface-- but gaining confidence.

why do i feel like i'm supposed to ignore it?

Heart over head.

I almost surprise myself at how together I am about 95% of my friends graduating this term while I'm still stuck in school this summer.

Sure, I've complained about having "no friends" this summer. But it was more like "I'll be so bored!" rather than a tragic "this is the end" type of complaining.

Trying to console a more emotional friend tonight made me think though.

Does the end of this chapter signify an end to the close friendships that have developed over the years? Should I be more worried than I am?

In my mind, the end of university didn't mean the end of friendships, but now I feel like maybe I'm missing something. My brain is asking me to be concerned.

I've been told to make new friends-- and I took that to be half-joking, and half-just telling me to find people to hang out with in the same city as me rather than moping about needing to be here while my friends are elsewhere. Not as an indication that my friends are actually leaving me behind with the school and the city.

And entertaining those types of thoughts are silly and unproductive.

Because while my brain is telling me to overreact, my heart knows my friends (at least the ones I truly care for). And they aren't ones who will leave me behind.

(Not saying it's not sad at all. Because change and the unknown is always at least a bit difficult for me.)

(When summer actually comes-- if it sucks, I still reserve the right to mope and write emo blog entries. Thank you and goodnight.)

April Showers

It was expected, almost.

April always brings some sort of "termoil". It's seasonal.

I'm frustrated though because I hate it when its something that isn't in my control. I don't feel like I can do something and "overcome" any sort of hurdle.

It's mostly about perspectives.

Sometimes they just don't match up.

But my actions are never out of any intent to hurt anyone.
And they shouldn't. And I hate being made to feel guilty about something that doesn't have any effect on people!

I was glad to be able to get some space and blow off some steam.

Except now I'm not sure if I feel guilty about that too. Is it wretched to want to take space when the other party approaches with sincerity to make amends?

April is here but my NYLON still isn't.

I'm growing a bit impatient for my NYLON. How long does it really take to ship a magazine and a tshirt from the states anyway? Certainly not four weeks!

(Granted, yes, they did say it may take 4-6 weeks. But I didn't think they were serious, really!)

In other news...

- I'm going to go broke(er) from all the eating out I've been doing, but I still want to anyway.

- Is goat cheese healthy? Because it's delicious!

- The picture in my april banner is Jo and I when we were about five. I loved karaoke back then too. We need to go one more time before we graduate.

- Nearing the psuedo-end of university is unreal.

Okay you guys, relax. Ok? Take a deep breath. You'll be fine, don't worry.

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts that had some better endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things I wish I could do all, all over again.


There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,

Hearts that I hurt needlessly.

Some wounds that I wish I could have one more chance to mend.

Sad, but true

For all the clumsy things you do in your life - I hope you never say that you have bad luck. I mean...lucky things happen to normal people. Maybe you don't feel as lucky, because you're clumsy...but you've got like the highest turn around rate than anybody I've ever met, seriously! You dropped your purse - i don't know if you know...but the dude called me this morning, and is going to return it to you! *gosh*
pink | 03.16.08 - 10:30 am | #

I have to admit I have been abnormally lucky in the past while when it comes to getting away with my absentmindedness!

My camera was returned. My entire clutch was returned (my phone, ipod, and credit cards all still inside) by an extremely kind man who found it while walking his dog. And the other day, I almost left my brand new Converse 1. in the Laurier practice room and 2. at East side's... almost, but didn't.

Speaking of brand new Converse-- here's the video that made me fall in love♥:

How good things come

I got my Avon last night, and sitting on Alison's rug opening the little boxes gleefully was definitely a much needed relief.

And then when I got home, I found out a friend's major surgery was successful. That worry's been one of my major stressors lately. Praise God for listening because I sure nagged Him alot about that one. :P

With that worry lifted, I thought I'd met my 'good news quota' for the week.

But today while calling for a cab (to meet Alison at Sweet Dreams for some Green tea icecream!) I decided to inquire (without any real expectation) about my camera that I dropped in a cab a few weeks back (and had already called twice before about, unsuccessfully)--- and they have it!

Tonight, Bee, Andrew, and I went to East Side's for the first time in probably a month and had half-price pizza which was delicious and what I'd consider to be a perfect celebratory food for the (hopeful) end of my bad luck spell.

be B O L D

Apparently being exceedingly on edge, stressed out, and nervous can have its perks:

1. Good art comes from big emotion. Always. -- My creative juices are feeling bold today.

2. I'm so wound up, I'm trying to think of every possible way to relieve this tightness. So I bought myself a subscription to NYLON magazine. (♥!) It came with a free t-shirt.

My (ever growing) Criminal Record

Campus Crew at Conestoga Mall is officially banned.

I don't normally like Campus Crew very much. I find their stuff has decreased in quality and overall appearance through the years. But today I spotted a yellow UCLA sweatshirt that was 20% off, so I went into the store and tried it on. I didn't like it, and was about to leave the store with my mom and sister when I find this grey shirt for $9.99. Since it's so cheap and quite generic looking, I try it on. And as with most of Campus Crew's products, it's butt ugly.

So I hang it back on the rack where I got it. Not in the EXACT same position, but on the same rack maybe 7 shirts down from it's original spot. Next to some burgundy Harvard tshirts. Imagine the contrast between grey and burgundy here, people.

While we were on our way out of the store, the sales people asked how I liked the shirt. I said I didn't like it. We gave them back their 20% off coupon.

THEN!!! about three stores down from Campus Crew, I'm suddenly interrupted by the sales guy's voice "Excuse me! Excuse me!... where did you put the shirt after you tried it on?" ... I just STARE at him for a second and respond "Uh, back on the rack?" and he's like "Which rack?" and I'm like "The rack where I got it, right next to the Harvard tshirts."

He then has the audacity to say: "Can you SHOW me where you put it?"

At this point I should have been like "Do you want to search my bag buddy? Because I didn't steal your fugly shirt!!!"

Instead I march right back to Campus Crew, pluck the shirt off the rack, and thrust it in the guy's face.

"O-oh." He says awkwardly.

"Did you think I STOLE it?" I snap back.

And he's like "Uhhhh...well, I just couldn't find it..."

Maybe next time you should try LOOKING before you go accuse someone of shoplifting, douchebag!!!! ARGH!!

Recent "Whoa! List"

(As in: "Whoaaaaaaa!!" or "Whoa-whoaa!".
This list consists of both positive "whoas" and negative "whoas".)

1. Lauren from 'Still Standing' is played by Renee Olstead (!!!)
2. Kaba Modern!
3. I bought HOW much Avon?! (I need to stay away from catalogs...)
4. Laurier Opera (I should really go watch more opera.)
5. Close up fist fight.
6. The number of relationship status changes recently.
7. Bills. (Yikes.)
8. How people you don't like can surprise you.
9. How people you DO like can surprise you. (aka Unexpected violent outbursts by least suspected individuals.)
10. What the lyrics of "Crank Dat" by Soulja Boy actually mean. (well, more like whoa...EW!)

Quiet Time (aka Playing Hooky)

So, I should really be in ccf bible study right now. (I know I'm going to regret stating that in a couple days... but oh well.) But I realized as I passed this computer lab that I have no idea where MC1056 is. And furthermore, this is one of the few moments I've even begun to entertain the idea of sitting and writing to sort my thoughts out.

It's been a heavy week to say the least.

I feel like I'm drowning in everything-- work, church, ccf, etc, etc... and I'm not saying this to be dramatic, nor do I mean that things are emotionally turbulent.

I'm just BUSY. And the busyness is getting stressf...overwhelming. I'm reaching "shut down mode".

I didn't get it when I first started writing this post. In my mind admist all the questions and worries and tasks and agendas, was the frustrating question-- "Why am I freaking out? and why isn't God handling this?? I've been spending time in prayer. I've been lifting things up to Him. So what's the problem?!"

And then God zapped my ipod (haha) and I realize that maybe it's because in my prayer time, it hasn't been "quiet time". It hasn't been a time of true trust and reliance. It's just been me shooting questions at God and asking for this and asking for that when really I should just be resting in His presence, having TRUE faith that He's in control.

Check it out:

"Find rest my soul in Christ alone. Know His power in quietness and trust.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm.
Father you are King over the flood.

I will be still and know you are God."

I.Y.Q.

Who needs boys when you have pounds of alcoholic icing, chocolate cake, and crazy friends?

iLove.

Baby number 2 came! :)

(It's sad how much easier it is to love things than people.

I get so frustrated.

Sometimes I'm pretty sure this whole trying to mimic Christ's love thing is totally in vain because I fail 9 times out of 10. But then I see how things would be so much better if everyone just could.

I want to see and hear people through His eyes... but maybe I have too much pride and darkness clouding my vision.

How is it that the God of the universe could love everyone enough to die the most gruesome death for us, yet I, a less than successful university student who has contributed basically nothing to the world at large can consider herself above loving certain people?)

my tiger my heart

I was looking for music for Kat and re-sparked my love for The Boy Least Likely To.

...pure revived love: http://www.theboyleastlikelyto.co.uk

Watch this and you will love them too:


Then go to their website and do fun, time-wasting things such as this:

Let's find a motto you'll like for the rest of your life.

This weekend, KarWai helped me make my decision to buy an 8gb RED ipod nano.

This should be easy enough right?

Nope!

Turns out, if you purchase your ipod online, they allow you a free two line engraving. At first I thought, great! I get to write something on my ipod for free! I have a million song lyrics I love to engrave on there.

Problem? I have a million song lyrics I love to engrave on there!

I needed to find something:
1. Not by a lame artist whose words I will be ashamed to have engraved on my ipod.
2. Related to music since it is my ipod.
3. A song I will continue to like in the years to come.

After much brainstorming and consulting with (not really very helpful) friends, I've decided on the following engraving:

'well all i got's: oo-oo-ooh'
[ jasy's ipod ]

Before you tell me how that makes no sense, let me explain!

The quote is taken from John Mayer's song Clarity. The song talks about living in the moment, being worried about over analyzing things, and at the end of the day only being able to really think of music-- all which are pretty relevant to me. Artist I like, song I like. Check. Check.

Basically it's saying "all I can think of is music". Which is true! I thought about it for so long but all I got was this song or that song. Plus, I always have a song in my head. Which is related to music and hence the ipod.

Now all there is to do is shell out the $200 bucks and be ipod-less no longer.

change my heart oh God:
make it ever true.

change my heart oh God:
may I be like you.

you are the potter
I am the clay--

mold me and make me; this is what I pray.

Invisibility cloak.... or not.

This seriously happened. No tall tales, no exaggerations.

So I'm watching the Wine Kone on youtube and reach a funny part, so I run to the next room to tell my sister to come watch it.

My parents' room is down a short hallway so that our doors kind of face each other, but aren't directly in front of each other.

For some reason I turn around briefly, and out of the corner of my eye see something in the open crack of their door. So I do a double take and there's my mother with one eye pressed against the edges of the tiny opening of the doorway.

I stare. And she does nothing.

So I burst out laughing and I'm like "WHAT are you doing???!"

"Jong gun lay loh." (Spying on you.)

10 minutes doubled over in laughter later, I tell this story.

Stoic

Take time to realize that I am on your side-- didn't I, didn't I tell you?

No I can't spell it out for you.
No it's never going to be that simple.
No I can't spell it out for you.



(realize : colbie caillat)

This Year's Starting Trends : Part 1

Games.

So generally, I don't really enjoy games.
I'm just not a very competitive person and I end up feeling tension whether I win or lose.

There's enough tension in life as it is-- why add to it by playing dorky games when there are about a million other things to do to better entertain myself?

Unfortunately, 2008 is continuing 2007's track record of seeking out every opportunity to spite me:

I have not only been playing games (finding 3 I actually enjoy), but I have also actually purchased two for myself!

I am officially a happy loser addicted to Apples to Apples, Whoonu, and Hoopla (although I didn't purchase this last one).

Hey, at least I'm becoming more... open-minded? *shrug*

Hello 2008

blog at least once a week
clean and redecorate my room before march
attend church on sundays
reaquaint myself with my sketchbook and paints
start an online comic

The list isn't finished yet.

So, it's 2008 and my cow is safely back with me. That's a good start at least.

Seriously. 2008 had better kick 2007's butt.

---

But it's my heart thats breaking down this long distance line tonight.

(My first "I can't get enough of it" song of '08 is Missing You by Tyler Hilton -- the video is Tyler Hilton with Taylor Swift but the original is really good too.)



And I ain't missing you at all
Since you've been gone... away
I ain't missing you
No matter what I might say

There's a message in the wires
And I'm sending you a signal tonight
You don't know how desperate I've become
And it looks like I'm losing this fight

But it's my heart that's breaking, down this long dusty road of mine

And I ain't missing you at all
Since you've been gone... away
I ain't missing you
No matter what my friends say

And there's a message that I'm sending out
Like a telegraph to your soul
If I can't bridge this distance
Stop this heartache overload

A Fragmented Version of the "Hols" Thus Far

I spent a ridiculous amount of money this year. but I think it was worth it.

I like being with the old-time churchies and I haven't gotten sick of them yet, even though they've probably gotten sick of moi! ;)

My mom's in China with my sick grandma so I feel a bit guilty for all the fun I've been having.

I saw Juno and it was as good as I thought it would be!

I've got green, apple-scented glitter on my hands.

I watched the entire first season of The Hills today.

My thoughts have often been in an English accent. (And even as I write this!)

I know I'm getting more and more lame as this blog progresses.

Oh! Oh!--- I'm learning to COOK!
I most definitely made a spinach artichoke dip last night that was a HIT! *Flourishing bow (and a ty to S ;))*

I'm sick. (Sore throat, stuffy nose, light coughing)

AND *dun dun dun dunnnnnnn* I GOT MY COW BACK!

I'd take a picture but I have no camera right now... but my baby and i have been reunited and he's mooing hello to everyone right now. PT found him and gave him back to me and after I finished screaming I realized I could now show him to everyone I've met since the start of university-- it's really been four years! He has so many people to meet! Uncle Matthew thinks I should get him a sweater so he can have a "new look". LOL

Ok, I'm done wasting everyone's time. Back to making New Year's resolutions. Turrah!

I want to see this!!

Thoughts On Recent Lousy Decisions Made Not by Me.

Most positive things I've learned about being a Christian and being a member of a church come from the guidance and leadership of my pastor.

The two greatest commandments God gives Christians are:
1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind.
2. Love your neighbor as yourself.

Pastor Tim has always demonstrated these things to me. Anyone who is a member of KWCAC's English Congregation would know that PT encourages his congregation to seek after an understanding of God's heart through His Word and worshipping Him with your life. But MORE importantly, in my opinion, a pastor leads not by words, but by EXAMPLE. And PT has not only demonstrated his OWN fervent chase after God but he has UNrelentlessly LOVED and SERVED his congregation as himself. Sometimes better than himself. He takes the time to know people and nurture not only their spiritual needs but their physical and emotional ones too. I think that's what God means by loving someone as yourself. You'd take care of all your own needs. And true love, that's doing your best to fulfill those needs in others.

To some people, helping fix someone's computer or hosting five giggling 17 yr old girls' prom night or driving out in the winter to help someone fix a flat tire or handing out kleenexes while someone bawls their eyes out may not be the conventional work of a pastor. But in my opinion-- I only HOPE that there are other pastors who demonstrate the same love Jesus did. Because getting up on a bloody pulpit on Sundays and filling out paper work and doing set visitations? That isn't enough. And that's NOT what Jesus did either.

I hope certain people take the time to remember that Jesus was also less than conventional.

I know I'm not exactly the model Christian, but because of PT, I do understand what living out Christ's love means.

And it is a crying shame that the future generations of students passing through Waterloo won't get to experience God's love and care through him anymore.

I had quite a few more strongly worded and, honestly speaking, angry thoughts to share. But really, it doesn't matter whether or not I think certain decisions were made correctly or handled correctly by whom, etc etc etc. Because what's done is done.

The important thing is to recognize the significance of the past 15 years of ministry my pastor and my friend, has contributed in his service to God and the people of KWCAC.

What do you do when you recieve terrible news?

Step 1 is, of course, denial.

No. That can't be right. Read it again......ok, it's still true.

Step 2. I generally sit frozen in place for some time, muttering profanities and researching ridiculous plans of action such as how much it would cost me to fly to some random place in the US and assume a new identity.

Step 3. Call someone I trust loves me. It has to be someone who loves me kindly. It can't be someone who will say "Well you should have seen this coming" or "Well, it's your own fault this happened, you know". Because it's still too early at this point to be reasonable.

Step 4. Repeat Step 2, but add in some depressing music.

Step 5. Luckily, at this point, my best friend arrives with the best step of all-- comfort food! and in this case, it came in the form of Black Cherry Icecream, Kraft Dinner Mac and Cheese, and Ristorante Pizza. Mmmmmmm Mmmmm!

Step 6. Escape to some happy place and do happy things while gorging on your comfort food with a few of your favourite people and refuse to think about the problem for the rest of the night-- thus reducing likelihood of a minor stroke.

Step 7. Which may come a short (or long) while after Step 6 is when you actually have to start thinking about things. I rarely have any say over what happens in this step. The only thing I can do is "sum foo cup". Deep breath. Here goes nothing.

It Went Right!

Every mission needs a period of "working up to it". So Kat and I stopped off at the mall for a bit for some fuel.
I had my first big mac in ages and Kat got some padthai in the cutest little take out box!

This winter's choice beverage is the Candycane Hot Chocolate from Second Cup. It's both delicious and festive looking. I was tempted to buy a cannister of it to make at home.... but I didn't because of my mounting credit card bill. Oops!

We shopped for a little while and then took off to the newly privatized transportation license place where I got THIS:



My road test (aka d-day) is now officially on January 10th at 2:35pm.

I advise everyone to clear the roads on that day.

HEY YOU! GO RIGHT!

"I don't have a whole lot of excuses for what's gone wrong with my life, she said. But the ones I do have are really good." - Brian Andreas

Life lately, seems like a succession of failures and mishaps. Mostly mishaps really. Large ones. One after an another, after another...

Today I am going to the ministry of transportation to figure out this whole blasted drivers license mess.

This next thing had better go right.

Waiting

December's banner is coming-- I have an idea, but my camera is out of batteries and I can't find the charger.

In the meantime, check out this song, You Give Me Something by James Morrison-- song of the week! Marie Digby does a pretty good cover of it too, but I went with the original:



"Please give me something, cuz someday I might know my heart."

I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name.

She said: you don't know me, you don't wear my chains.

Boston by Augustana

I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah



Essential yet appealed: carry all your thoughts across an open field.

Big girls don't cry.

La la da daaaaa.... it's 9 in the morning...

Clamping on the bit.

I think I'm so tired, I'm not. If that makes sense.

It scares me how many people are at the library at 9 am. But at least I still got a computer. *Muttering* Stupid laptop.

Um, correction: Stupid me.

Large half hotchocolate, half coffee means at least someone's feeling optomitstic.

And now, I'm going to inhale my coffee and get some crap done instead of wasting my early start on meaningless blogs.

"It's time to be a big girl now..."

Michael Buble : Lost

Love this song. The video is really sad though, basically just a bunch of people sitting there crying, but it suits my mood and the weather lately.

Rules:

Sing. Don't yell. Or whine. Or screech.

It's bad really. I should take a spoonful of humility. And really, it's not about how well you can belt out the tunes, but who you're singing it to and how much you mean it. But GEEZE it's hard to focus on God when I can't help cringing every few seconds.

I want!

I saw this colour on a waitress at Soeul Soul the other day and she told me it was called Apple of My Eye by Loreal. My mission in life right now is to get it.

Morning Coffee 2

This morning at Starbucks, surrounded by a small crowd of like-minded women waiting for our caffeine fix, I ordered a pumkin spice latte, and a caramel macciatto for Alison. The cashier, seeing that the change for my $20 would come out to an undesirable amount of change, kindly asked:

"Do you have 10 cents?"

"Uh..." I scrounge through my pockets. "No, sorry..."

And then, out of nowhere the lady behind me, wearing a brightly coloured sweater to match her smile, offers enthusiastically: "I have 10 cents!"

She runs her finger through her change purse producing a dime, which I try and refuse at first but then gratefully take when she assures me it's not a big deal.

Not two seconds after I recieve my very even change, the lady lets out an audible sigh and states "Oh great. Now I can't buy my coffee."

I gasp and whirl around wide eyed.

She let's out a hearty laugh. "Just kidding! Don't worry!"

I giggle relieved and can't help but grin as I leave Starbucks with my coffee thinking about the woman who magically brightened my morning.

And glancing at the "The Way I See It" quote on my coffee cup, I considered that the woman may have gotten this quote before as it would definitely provide one possible motivation for her random act of kindness.

So Small

I know it's hard on a rainy day.
You wanna shut the world out and just be left alone.



So easy to get lost inside a problem that seems so big, at the time.
It's like a river that's so wide it swallows you whole.

While you're sittin' 'round thinking about what you can't change,
and worryin' about all the wrong things--
Time's flying by, moving so fast.
Better make it count, cause you can't get it back.

Morning Coffee

As far as morning's go, it's been a good one.

On our way to campus, Kat and I stopped by Starbucks where I satisfied my Pumpkin Spice Latte craving and Kat got a Green Tea Frap (without the melon shot of course).

One of the things I love about Starbucks (because I am a slave to good marketing) is their "The Way I See It" quotes on their cups. Delicious caffeine fix with a side of wisdom. Here's today's quote:

Coffee in hand, sun smiling down, we made our way through campus, pausing every so often to greet friends crossing our path, and now we're seated in the back right corner of Social Policy (prime classroom seat!). And what do you know, this class is actually really interesting!

Lucky for me because my laptop is about to run out of batteries.

Here's to good mornings! :)

Crossing your fingers doesn't really get you anywhere

I apologize for the lack of "real" updates lately. I promise this youtube song posting will end soon. Sometimes though, songs say it better than you ever could yourself, and so there isn't any point in writing about it because you're not going to do as good a job as the song will anyway. And it takes so much less effort.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song.
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me threatening the life it belongs to.
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd, cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud.
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to.



Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, girl. So cradle your head in your hands.
And breathe... just breathe.

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you'd only try turning around.

I've been driving for an hour
Just talking to the rain
You say I've been driving you crazy
and its keeping you away
So just give me one good reason
Tell me why I should stay
'Cause I dont wanna waste another moment
in saying things we never meant to say

And I take it just a little bit
I, hold my breath and count to ten
I, I've been waiting for a chance to let you in

If I just breathe
Let it fill the space between
I'll know everything is alright
Breathe
Every little piece of me
You'll see
Everything is alright
If I just breathe

Well it's all so overrated
In not saying how you feel
So you end up watching chances fade
And wondering what's real

non stop

I'm dizzy from commitments and obligations. From urgencies and expectations. (It's always about that.)
From playing catch up.

I can't even finish this blog, I have a meeting in 10 minutes and it's 15 minutes away at a reasonable pace.

celebrity of the day

I absolutely love Reba McEntire.

I know I'm a dork. I don't know how I suddenly fell into this country music rut. Laugh it up.

But I watched a special with Reba and Kelly Clarkson and I cried.

So cheesy, so good.

714

I think sometimes you can really surprise yourself at how much you can feel even after so long.

I think what's difficult is becoming very jaded toward most things while keeping a hold of just a few. Because investing very much in very little is almost more dangerous in investing a lot of yourself in everything. It's like putting all your eggs in one basket and if it just so happens that those baskets don't hold those eggs carefully (which is really an unrealistic expectation to think that any basket will always be reliable), then your eggs all break in one go.

Back to the old way

I'm kind of getting sick of the whole "composition" style of blogging.

It's starting to seem too much for other people and a lot less for myself which is why I've been geeking out on here for so long anyway.

So for now, I'm going back to the old way. Less boxes, less walls.

It's kind of reflective of life right now, I think.
It may be a result of biological events approaching, but it seems that those walls that went up almost a year ago are dissolving. It's not a good thing. It's like someone ripped off the bandaid too quickly. Like the bubble wrap's been taken off and now I'm feeling every bump, every scrape. Things aren't as meaningless. I am not so unaffected.

Maybe I just have to get over this "hump" before I get to that healthy balance.

My nails are at that stage right now. Long enough to get all that gross dirt and crap in it, but not long enough to look pretty. But I know that if I can just hold out a little longer and not bite them off, they can get pretty glamourous.

Fair Warning

This past Friday, I awoke to the smell of burning.

At first I dismissed it in my groggy state and willed myself to drift back out of conciousness.
Unfortunately, a short time later I found myself coughing and unable to tolerate the intense burning smell that was filling my bedroom. I don't know what took me so long but I finally panicked, leapt out of bed and flung open the door to a hallway filling with smoke wafting from the lower level.

"SOMETHING'S BURNINGGGGG!!!!!" I yell.

The story is pretty anticlimatic. It turns out that my mom had severely burnt some toast in our super-defective toaster. Days later, the smell of burning is still lingering. Yum.

What worries me is that our fire alarm didn't go off at all that morning.
Which basically means if a real fire were to start in my house, I would likely die.

Not to mention, someone should really inform the three people who are shacking up in my house for the week:

Warning: Toaster and fire alarm out of order. Permanent residents take no responsibility for resulting injuries and or deaths.

Theme song love

John Mayer : New Deep

I'm so alive
I'm so enlightened
I can barely survive
A night in my mind
I've got a plan
I'm gonna find out just how boring I am
And have a good time

Cause ever since I tried
Trying not to find
Every little meaning in my life
It's been fine
I've been cool
With my new golden rule

Numb is the new deep
Done with the old me
And talk is the same cheap it's been

Is there a God?
Why is he waiting?
Don't you think of it odd
When he knows my inner dwellings?
And look at the stars
Don't it remind you just how feeble we are?
Well it used to, I guess

(*)

I'm a new man
I wear a new cologne and
You wouldn't know me if your eyes were closed
I know what you'll say
'This won't last longer than the rest of the day'
But you're wrong this time

Numb is the new deep
Done with the old me
I'm over the analyzing
Tonight

Stop trying to figure it out
Deep will only bring you down
You know, I used to be the back porch poet with a book of rhymes
Always open knowing all the time I'm probably
Never gonna find the perfect rhyme
For 'heavier things'

A Tragic Loss

Does anyone else have that perfect pair of jeans?

The ones that make you feel comfortable yet confident, match with everything you own, and are worn again and again because you'd choose wearing them two maybe three days in a row rather than break out a cleaner (but less well loved) pair?

My denim of choice? Jacob Connexion. Dark wash. Stretch. Ahhh.

I love them so much that I continued wearing them even after they started wearing holes.

Sadly though, the holes are now too visible to ignore and I've been forced to retire them.

And although I'm looking forward to shopping for a replacement pair of "perfect jeans", I'm not looking forward to breaking the new one's in.

This Is Likely Why I am Wedding Dateless

I am gross.

My hair is stringy and is attaching itself to my sticky neck, further trapping the heat from this sauna-like bedroom against me.

My head hurts. My breasts hurt. Actually my entire body is sluggish and sore-- torn between taking today's second shower and staying right where it is. Unmoving. Perhaps forever.

It is impossible to fall asleep and somehow (stupidly), I find myself sitting in front of a bowl of Clam Chowder. Not good Clam Chowder, I might add! And I'm wrestling with yet another difficult choice:

Q: Do I choose the repulsiveness of actually eating this fishy paste or the guilt of dumping it out while less fortunate individuals go hungry?

A: Answer found on page I-hate-this-time-of-the-month.

It's not what it looks like...

Here's the scenario:

You are a waiter at East Side Marios.
Every Monday night, two asian girls come in to the bar to order half price wings.
They giggle a lot. A lot.
One of these nights, you see two other girls stroking eachother at the bar.
A few times you pass by the asian girls' table and hear snippets of their conversation:
"...where we should have the wedding... the church is too small!" ... "You're my date to..."
At the end of the meal, you ask if they want the bills seperate or together.
"Together." Says the girl on the left as she whips out her debit card.

True story.

Bee and I are a bit worried that the waiter at East Side's thinks we're an item. We're always there. We're always giggling. And last week, when an actual same sex couple was there as well, I happened to pay for Bee's drink.

Today we watched a basketball game together and contemplated whether or not Bee should be my date to an upcoming wedding. If it happens, I imagine the wedding reception will be yet another interestingly misinterpreted scenario for on-looking wedding guests.

"Are you a friend of the bride or groom?"
"Neither... I'm her date."
"Oh!..." *Trying to figure out when Jasmine came out of the closet.*

Goal Setting

I get what I want.
(I know I sound like a princess (ok, so I am one), but it's true.)

I don't always know what I want. But when i do, i have a strong urge to get it and will persevere in doing so. Unfortunately, these are usually very meaningless goals for the purpose of instant gratification.

Last week it was Black Cherry Icecream. This weekend, it was going to see Harry Potter.

My quest began on Wednesday where after much whining and pleading, Bee and Andrew still refused to see it with me. They don't like Harry Potter. And I think Bee had had enough childish behaviour for one evening. (hehe)

Thursday: Kat had promised her cousins she'd wait for them. Esther, unfortunately had already promised another group of people she'd go with them. She invited me, but I have high standards. I don't spend my time with just anybody you know.
Friday came. And tonight I decided, enough is enough! I'm seeing it tonight and that's that. So I called Joanna in Toronto; "Come up and see Harry Potter with me!". That was an almost. Wallace wanted to see it tomorrow.

But I wanted to go tonight! And so I did. With my sister. And it was good.

So there.

Eat-Over

This summer, Bee, Andrew, and I have been have had quite a few "eat-overs".

I call them eat-overs because they always start with food. No exceptions.
They start with food and then continue on to ... well, more food.


Tonight the items consumed included:
- 3 bbq boneless rib things
- 2 scoops of chocolate vanilla swirl soft-serve icecream
- 1 can of Chunky beef stew
- 1 can of WInnie the Pooh Heinz Pasta
- 1 Delissio (not delivery) pepperoni pizza

Maybe it's something about combining hot summer nights with a lot of eating that does something weird to our brains, because the night almost inevitably will progress to hours of hilarious but (very) un-intelligent conversation or creating Mii's in the likeness of certain "interesting" individuals.

And the next thing we know, the sun's rising again signaling another successful eat-over.

(As well as triggering the ever-lingering question of why on earth we wasted so many precious sleep hours away doing that... again.)

Fresh Face

I thought it was about time for a little change.

What do you get when you cross the laziest person in the world with the most scatterbrained?

My nails are long right now. (Relatively.)

My bookshelf and closet are clean-- and now for the floor and the desk. It's greuling work, you know.

I'm spending the long weekend with my three favourite people, also known as kreazeless. <3 I am a happy girl. Five nineteen. Enough said.

Extreme Makeover : My Home Edition

[the before photo]



... ahem, yeah. alot to do still. Step one? Clean the damn thing. *sigh*

Couple things about June

Save the environment. (Or at least try.)

Be careful. I'm moody.

I still haven't seen pirates.
Waiting for people is tiring, and so is trying to get people together. So i'm trying to decide how lame it would be to see it by myself.

I love this song:

rilo kiley : the frug

Prince Charming: You! You can't lie! Where is Shrek?
Pinocchio: Well, uh, I don't know where he's not.
Prince Charming: You don't know where Shrek is?
Pinocchio: On the contrary,
Prince Charming: So you do know where he is!
Pinocchio: I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that I undeniably
Prince Charming: Stop It!
Pinocchio: Do or do not know where he shouldn't probably be. If that indeed wasn't where he isn't!

spectrums of pain

When I was around eight or nine years old, a few friends (Jo, Heidi, and Wallace) and I were playing baseball in the yard of the Catholic elementary school adjacent to my block. Our version of 'baseball' wasn't always consistent, but it generally consisted of my yellow, wooden baseball bat and a tennis ball. We used our hats or jackets as bases. Usually there was a pitcher and no defined teams. Every kid for themself.

This particular day, I remember, the game had ended and we were heading back to my house for dinner. Heidi was swinging the bat around as we walked. I recall bending down to tie my shoe and when I caught up she must not have heard me because the next thing I heard was the crack of that solid wooden bat colliding HARD with my right hip-bone. I know I collapsed right onto the ground and couldn't speak for a few moments but maybe a minute later I was back on my feet and lightly making my way back to my house. I didn't even cry. I think I actually laughed when we were back at my house. There ended up being a WICKED bruise that spanned the size of my hand but nothing else. Weird, eh?

I think I have a very large physical pain threshold. I've ran around on a sprained ankle (which is why my ankles are so messed up now), and over the many times my right earhole has closed up, I consistently grit my teeth and force the earring in anyway, dabbing away the blood like sweat.

Sorry. I know I'm grossing people out. The point is, I have a high tolerance for physical pain, but my tolerance for emotional pain is greatly lacking. I cry easily over emotional hurts, I miss people easily, I run away from things I don't want to deal with, things that seem too hard. Part of me wishes that my emotional tolerance and physical tolerance would swap places. Wouldn't life be easier to live that way? Instead of building emotional walls, I could just try harder not to fall on my face or let my earholes close up. And to stay out of the way of baseball bats.

Which is far easier when you're twenty than when you're eight.

Michael Buble : Everything



"and in this crazy life, and through these crazy times... it's YOU, it's you, you make me sing. You're every line, you're every word, you're everything."

purchase potentials

Sitting around at Bee's burning time and found something I want:





C'est moi!

summer days

Waterloo is boring.

Boring enough that I am choosing to-- get this --attend class. Haha... currently, I am relaxing in the dimly lit lecture hall in EIT in Laura's marketing class. :P -- Maleck is the prof and I'd forgotten the actually entertaining quality of his voice and this class is reminiscent of econ220 except it's way better considering its not 8:30am.

The funnest thing I can find to do lately is eat. With friends, mind you. ... So i have about 8 friends in Waterloo this term. Count'em -- 1. Kat 2. Laura 3. Janna 4. Bernice 5. Andrew 6. Alice 7. Steph 8. Nicole (disclaimer-- if i forgot you, it's probably just because i don't really hang out with you often. not that i don't consider you as a friend.) And I only really hang out with 4 of them.

And have you ever tried to find actually entertaining things to do in Waterloo? Trust me its not an easy task. At least during the day. Options? Basically all i do is eat.
Starbucks, Morty's, Chill&Grill, Mikey's... um yeah.

Someone entertain me. -_-

About Me
*updated my 'About Me' section on facebook and felt like sticking it on here.

I recently stopped biting my nails, but sometimes revert back to my old habits.

Some people say I'm a bit of a drama queen and I have two ways to cope with my wild influx of emotion:
1. Draw
2. Eat

I'm easily bought. And honest (mostly).

Current addictions include Tazo iced tea and Youtube.

Oh. And I'm redecorating my room this summer if I get around to finally getting it cleaned.

I L♥VE TORONTO!

- i'm just a city girl at ♥.

Ana Free: Cover of Bic Runga's Sway

"And there's no cure, no way to be sure why everything's turned inside out, instilling so much doubt. It makes me so tired. I feel so uninspired. My head is battling with my heart, my logic has been torn apart."

indignant

I was going to make an entry on my recently updated "summer goal" list. But recent events have caused me the need to discuss one of my pet-peeves, if only to relieve myself from this swelling pocket of indignation in my chest.

Two things that rub me the wrong way:

1. When people suggest in a manipulative manner that I do something. It's as if they assume that i am either too stupid to see through their ridiculous tactics or that I need people to 'trick' me into doing things. I am not a child that needs to be bribed with candy to go to bed. (This annoyance goes hand in hand with that other pet peeve i have of people trying to "teach other people lessons".) It's condescending and rude to assume that you 'know better' than someone and that it is your position to be 'getting' them to do things in the way you deem best (unless you have recieved specific permission/respect from this person to do so).

If I want to do something, I will likely do it. If I don't want to, I likely won't.

But if I somewhatly want to do something (or am considering it) and someone treats me like this, I will be strongly pushed in the direction of doing the exact opposite of whatever that person is trying to coerce me into.

2. When people directly order you to do something or imply that you "have to".

"You HAVE to _____!!!"

Actually, no. I don't. Not unless you happen to be an officer of the law or something-- are you?
Seriously- tell me. Who the bloody blank do you think you are?! (that IS directed to someone specific)

It makes me so angry when people act like this. Go ahead and make your own personal rules, but leave me out of them. Especially if you really don't have any authority over me at all and are just acting like a condescending jerk.
Honestly, I really had to hold myself back tonight.

Likewise with number 1, number 2 also generally causes me to do exactly the opposite of what that person is 'ordering' me to do.

--

It isn't that I don't respect anyone and that I don't listen to anyone. It's just that the people who actually do have influence over me know it, because I have told them, or I will actually willingly approach them for advice and do what they say because I do respect them.
And I'm not okay with giving people the impression that treating me in that manner will get them the results they desire.

Whew! End of rant! lol

et fini!

"s u m m e r came like cinnamon... so sweet!" - c.b.r.

worn out

until 6am : studying client-centred therapy and REBT
6am-7am : unsettling, nightmare-ridden 'nap'
7-8:40am : more studying
9-10:30am : SOCWK w Ind 2 Theory and Practice Final
10:40am-12am : unsettling, nightmare-ridden 'nap' 2
12:05pm-12:15pm : frantic shower
12:30p : meeting at mikey's
sometime during the meeting: unfortunate accident
2:00pm: return home AGAIN to deal with unfortunate accident

... and I have another long day/night of studying to look forward to. Someone shoot me.

*edit 5pm
-- when i got back to the library, i walked down the to basement to set down my stuff and back upstairs to get a mint Aero only to find that my watcard wasn't working. So I went BACK downstairs to get change, and back upstairs again only to find that the chocolate wasn't $1.25 it was $1.50-- at which point i decided there was no way in hell i was going back downstairs and borrowed 25 cents from a random stranger.

Today is not my day.

library juice

I came to the library particularily early this morning because Kat had her exam at 9am. Since its beautiful out, I detoured with Kat to RCH before heading over to DC, cut through EIT, picking up a cup of "Midnight Obsession" coffee on the way.

This has seriously got to be the most caffeinated coffee on the planet.

I did a little googling and found that it is a dark roast from Africa and the specific brand I purchased is from the Baden Coffee Company's Sleepy Monks Fair trade brand:

The Baden Coffee Company promotes Fair Trade Coffee under its Sleepy Monks Reserve brand, which is organic, shade grown and bird friendly. "Sleepy Monks Own", a blend of five Fair Trade beans of separate origin, has become one of our most popular coffees.


library art



... this blog is getting some serious love during exam time

Since I have been basically living at DC for the past week -- i thought it would be appropriate to show you a general idea of my "study area" -- with labels! haha
*click the picture to enlarge it

blue

hit kind of a 'down' day.

but Denise brought me the Ginny Owens Live cd and its cheering me up a bit :)

"when you're lost inside yourself and you can't find your way out-- you gotta find something, something to sing about." - live once, ginny owens

Things To Do This Summer (starting in 7 days)
*this list is a work in progress

- save up enough money for my Euro-gradtrip
- visit Dora in ottawa (Canada Day wknd and possibly before)
- learn ASL (American Sign Language)
- figure out local volunteer opportunities for World Vision and "get on board"
- read 30 books (list to be determined)
- re-do my room (been saying this for the past few summers but this summer-- i SHALL!)
- go to the gym thrice weekly
- stock up on new makeup and new nail polish :)
- and new shoes.
- learn to COOK! ha!
- learn how to edit videos and start a vlog
- start my 'comic' slash me and bee's company

... to be continued.

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

at club dc - 'hard at work' as usual

Things To Do This Summer (starting in 9 days)
*this list is a work in progress

- save up enough money for my Euro-gradtrip
- visit Dora in ottawa (Canada Day wknd and possibly before)
- learn ASL (American Sign Language)
- figure out local volunteer opportunities for World Vision and "get on board"
- read 30 books (list to be determined)
- re-do my room (been saying this for the past few summers but this summer-- i SHALL!)
- go to the gym thrice weekly
- stock up on new makeup and new nail polish :)
- and new shoes.
- learn to COOK! ha!

... to be continued.

i really do


nataliedee.com

song of the day

She said, "What good is tomorrow without a guarantee?"
She can lick her lips and smile
And make you wanna believe

Chorus:
That the consequences of your actions really are just a game
That your life is just a chain reaction taking you day by day
She says nothing's forever in this crazy world
Still I'm falling in love with the right now poster girl

Things To Do This Summer (starting in 10 days)
*this list is a work in progress

- save up enough money for my Euro-gradtrip
- visit Dora in ottawa (Canada Day wknd and possibly before)
- learn ASL (American Sign Language)
- figure out local volunteer opportunities for World Vision and "get on board"
- read 30 books

... to be continued.

I kind of hate waterloo right now.

Carson said i get like this everytime I see Dora... I go through a phase of not liking people very much except for a select few.

I can't help it!

I need my kreazeless.

Just feel like without them, I'm not REALLY myself... It's like i forget after not being with my kreazeless for so long how different i am with them... how natural and ME I feel ... how i can let loose and be myself and like they KNOW me. No expectations, no presumptions, no judgements, no... criticisms!

And i never laugh so hard without them.

It doesn't help that finals are upon us. Doesn't really add to the appeal of this city.

Sometimes (rarely, but sometimes) games can be amusing.

Mafia-- is a serious thing. Perhaps unwise to play with a group in which a lot of the people are still "getting to know eachother"... and who don't know how to play the game. It can produce a great deal of tension as experienced at the 3rd yr girls sleepover.

Which was a pretty funny considering it's just a silly game. :P

Taboo is another good one. (A game that I actually like ALL the time!)

bee: what would you say for BLT?
me: YUMMAAAAYYYY!!! :D

However-- regular Taboo is just never going to be that fun to me anymore-- what's better? JEOPARDY taboo!! ... "WHAT IS BUNGEE JUMPING!!!!"

Jacqueline: It's... something you do on a mountain....
Jo: TIME!!
Alison: What was it?
Jacqueline: Bungee jumping!... can't you do that on a mountain?
Bee: ...... you mean... SUICIDE?
Alison: *rapidly flails arms* BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!!!