guess what?
Jasmine Choi CHANGED her HAIR! ^_^ yes it is a big step for me if you didn't know. i normally won't even cut it let alone cut it this short! anyhoo, i don't really have pics of it... but there are some on em's site if you know her and if you don't then... you can come see me in person. :) :) also, dora and i decided that the "adulturous" owner of the place we go to cut our hair loves money and Angel is fake and has an evil plan to steal Mye's customers. hahahaha yyyyyessss...

guess what else? i'm going to the formal!!!! ^_^ why? because it's not my fault that Mo moved to mississauga and i shouldn't have to mope around by myself all nite just cuz of that. Also, because Dora is now going alone too... and plus, it's ok to go alone because clara did and she is definitely not a loser so there.

i had the worst day today. i have decided not to explain in detail but part of it included wiping out and falling down the stairs where the like hottest guy in the whole school was standing. yeah. the day sucked. but tommorow may be better :?

Ever had something special... just for a second... and then it just disapates? "Before the setting sun has disappeared the moon is rising high... and time waits for no man seasons come and go... in the midst of an ever changing world, this one thing i know. You've got to live every moment, as though it was your last, before the theif of always steal tommorow from your grasp.." Jaci Velasquez
How true those words are. There are so many things that people should just DO because ... there's not ALWAYS gonna be a "tommorow" to do it.

As many of my friends know, as of late, the object of my stress has not been on next week's exams but on the upcoming formal. Mainly, getting a date. I thought at the beginning that i would go no matter what... i was like a child on christmas eve waiting for santa to come or something. my friends were making plans with me and i with them... i just... didnt' really think about how i really liked this one guy and really wanted to go with him to this grand social event. this guy is a total sweetheart and i guess ... i admit now that i've liked him for some time... like a few months. but i guess i was too chicken to admit it or make a move. so yesterday, i FINALLY got the nerve to ask him to go to the formal with me. he said no. well actually he said yes but no because he was going to his dad's in missisauga. oh. i said. ok. today... i found out that my assumption about him going to his dad's for that weekend of the formal was incorrect. in fact, he's moving out to mississauga to live with his dad this weekend. i have a hug and an email address to remember this guy by. After school today while i didn't notice that jo karen heidi alex and karen's floormate were leaving, i was talking to the guy's friend. he'd overheard me talking about the guy and asked me if i liked him. i replied yes and he said he thought the guy maybe liked me back too. which i am not positive it was true though so... dunno. and then he asked me if i wanted him to ask the guy out for me. too late. ya know, if i hadn't waited so long to say something, he'd maybe have been my bf. :? whatever.
also, another comment. never ever ever ever wait to communicate. you could lose someone you love love love love love.

On a brighter note, karen came up today for ccf winter retreat and got together with us after school for some nice chilling at Sweet Dreams :9 yum satisfying my craving for bbtea :) :) (see previous blog) it was jo, em, kare, heidi, and i. and also alex at the very end ... but before he came we were playing boggle. it's this game that's like word racer on yahoo... anyhoo, it was funny because karen really really sucked :) but i wasn't too much better:) hahaha em of course, being the English buff of the group won by far ... well... by far from me... i think the ending score was kare=1 jasy=10 heidi=20 jo=25 and em=27 ... something like that. anyhoo, i found some profanity in the boggle thing. that was interesting. and also, today after school i wiped out going up the stairs. boy was that NOT FUN. :P note to self: always hold the railing when going up slippery wet stairs so as not to make self look like fool O_o

I have a sudden craving for bubble tea. i'm not sure why but i do. It's soooooo good. especially since the straws can be used to launch the tapioca pearls at others :) heehee which reminds me of the time when heidi, jo, becca, karen, waiki, and i ...were at Market Village having bubble tea and waiki was talking about how the straw make great pea shooters... well, if you know me, you know i had to try it out. and pretty soon we were having this tapioca fight which ended in my splashing karen with mango flavoured tea all over her fleece.. oppps. some tea was in my straw without me knowing ok? :P

it's cool when you ask someone how their love life is every time you talk to them always getting the same "nonexistant" answer and suddenly it changes :) heehee specially if you can totally guess who has made it existant ^_~

it is monday.
exciting day... sort of. marx FINALLY said yes to kat... he wasn't even going to tell (dumb shyness) her but when he was walking by me and kat at the end of the day i yelled "MARX!" and he turns around and then goes up to kat and is like "kat will you go to the formal with me?" ^_^ which was SOOSOOOOOO cute!!!!! ^_^ omg wow. and kat's like "sure" and he left and me and kat were freaking out so much :) it was amazingly cool... i'm worried though... i don't have a date yet :*( *sigh* i prolly won't get one.... i am praying about it too which is maybe dumb... does God care about me getting a date for the formal? :?

wow. i'm on icq right now and i'm talking to pat and he just made my day. he told me never to change because i'm perfect just the way i am. lately i've been feeling like EVERYONE wants me to change. cuz no one is ever satisfied with ME. but that just made me feel so amazing and loved thanks pat you're so awesome ... you have like no idea how much that meant just now even though it might seem not that big of a deal. it is.

you know what's weird? when you find out you have all this stuff in common with another person you thought you had nothing in common with... and it's like all at the same time... it's kinda weird. i mean it just is. not that it's really bad or anything just never really happened to me before. O_o :)

"The Poplars" by Claude Monet is so pretty ... it reminds me of the beginning of the "Sound of Music".

my greatgrandfather (my dad's grandfather on his father's side) passed away. he was ninety eight years old. he was a really nice guy. well... what i knew anyways. my grandmother(his son's exwife) took care of him til the last day. and now those stupid relatives of his that never showed up while he was living are coming back and insisting on this buddhist burial thing. my grandma just recently became a Christian (Praise God! :) ) but he wasn't. :*( i guess that's what troubles me the most ... i never knew him well... i remember him but we weren't at all close him being in HK and me being here.. he was 98 that's pretty old... but it's just.. doesn't seem like it's fair. why couldn't he die after he maybe became a Christian? my grandma did so could have he! i feel so .... sad. it just seems so unfair... *sigh* i don't know.

i think i know how cinderella must have felt while she was anticipating the night of her life at that ball of hers. but perhaps not. cuz well ... she had a prince charming waiting for her there. and i guess a formal isn't exactly a BALL but hey, closest thing I"VE ever been to and i am so umm... i dunno. mixed feelings. my friends at school are all getting psyched and ready and i am right along with them :) nudging them to JUST ASK HIM or assuring them that he's say yes ... so in a way it's really happy. in another way ... i'm nervous. no one's asked me to go to the formal with them yet... and i can't ask anyone because i dont' like anyone! i wouldn't know who to ask! but i really really really want a date still... just to go with someone as friends :? i guess. dunno. and in yet another way i'm terrified. terrified that if i go i'll trip or something and look like a total geek and *sigh* i can't believe i'm going insane about this. it's not in another month. :P

Verbal Diarhea

There is a hole from my brain to my mouth and sometimes to my fingers. that's why this blogging stuff does me so much good... i can let it out without actually saying exactly what i mean... like, speak in code so i don't hurt anyone but still get it all out... sometimes i can't even hold it all in til then though. :P blah. sometimes i catch myself in mid speaking and suddenly stop and studder and act like i didnt' know what i was saying when in reality i know exactly what i was going to say. but sometimes i realize i should have thought more about it before saying it because well... i guess sometimes you just shouldn't say certain things. wow. this is a revolution. i never used to care at all... i would just speak everything on my mind. but i think now i know it's important to keep a little bit of stuff unsaid if it's for the greater good. afterall, speaking my mind gives me only temporary satisfaction and sometimes it can lead to pretty devastating consequences.

The difference between like and love is when you're in like, you want to live with the object of your like... but when you're in love, you can't live without them. and then i guess, after today, there is an in between ... a really like ... or something like that. i have been in like many times... i kinda have like a flavour of the week :P opps not cool. but i think the only time i've been in love was... well... that one time that i thought this guy was my soulmate and that we would meet in a restaurant one day in the future and get married *sigh* i really could not live without this person at the time... but maybe... it was infatuation :? who knows, i thought i was love. but it's over now anyways so meh. speaking of marriage... people are starting to move into a different life stage... marriage. i have friends getting married in august... and i have another friend who's already married as of last year and has a BABY (so cute!) as of this year... i feel so young. i mean, i'm in highschool still and they are getting married and having kids ... settling down ¬_¬ oh my. kind of scary. but i think i'm kind of starting to like being the age that i am... next year will be better though ...
15 reasons why 16 is better than 15:
1. DRIVING! oops i meant driving LEGALLY. ^_~
2. I can sing "I am sixteen going on seventeen" and actually BE sixteen going on seventeen! ^_^
3. no more T.A.P. (Teacher Advisory Period... GAYNESS!)
4. I'll be one year closer to actually for real being in second year university.
5. it'll be a "sweet" year
6.sixteen is the year where everything happens to people in books and movies and t.v. eg. Ariel (little mermaid) is 16 when the movie happens and she meets her Prince.
7.Miguel is sixteen.. mmmm Miguel (from Passions which i like now by the way.)
8. It's got seven letters in it and seven is my lucky number.
9. People make a bigger deal of it then your 15th birthday... because well it's your "Sweet Sixteen"
10. Did i mention driving?
11. One more candle on my birthday cake :) pretty fire ...
12. Grade eleven is more fun than grade ten since seniors are treated SO much better than Juniors :P
13. People treat you more like an adult but you can still act like an idiot all the time :P :)
14. ummmm....
15. sixteen is a multiple of four. so... dunno. four leaf clovers are lucky ya know?
LOL i'm such a geek.

it's the last weekend before school starts AGAIN. i swear it's like neverending. school is so dumb dumb dumb dumb ok. i wish there was some way to just stall time............................. like that. but that might be brutally boring.

Anyhoo, last nite a bunch of us (pastor tim, heidi, jo, wayne, dora, kat, caleb, tiff, simon, dexter, alex, and myself) went up to Chris's niece's mansion in Burlington :) yay! i love that place so much cuz everytime they go somewhere tim and chris babysit their house and we get to go there and do stuff like in the summer we went swimming in their big backyard pool... and last nite we stepped in to the house on their HEATED TILES O_O and we had supper and watched Moulin Rouge which is now officially my FAVOURITE movie of all time! :) it's the best! i cried and cried and cried. :P i'm a wimp but it was soooooo amazing and sad. and i love musicals haven't watched one in a long time... the songs are so pretty (most of them) i love the "I hope you don't mind" song... i wish a guy would sing that to ME :P i went home and downloaded the songs from the movie :) hahahaha the duke was SO MEAN. i remember him from another movie but i'm not sure what one. i hate him i hate him... i like the guy that doesn't really talk much but keeps saving Satine from things like falling and being raped by the duke. he's so sweet! and Ewin Macguire (sp?) is SOOOOOO CUTE! *sigh* why can't i be in his world? :P
going to see Lord of the Rings today... O_o hope i actually understand it :P hobbits are so weird.

i am reallllyyyyy bored. can you tell? i don't even know what an autobot is :)

the thing about icq that i don't like is the fact that you never know for sure. you never know if the person you're talking to is REALLY the person you think you're talking to. and also, you never know if someone else is reading over their shoulder. it scares me to think of all the important thinks i talk about to ppl on icq... just trusting that no one is there or it's really the person. i have had the "enlightening" experience of talking to someone about something important on icq and then finding out someone else was sitting right next to them the whole time... it does get quite uncomfortable expecially if the person sitting there is involved in the stuff you were saying :P opps. i get this sorta weird feeling when i know there's someone right there.. even when i'm not talking about anything of a private degree... but it helps when i know so i won't start :)

i might go to the formal. i'm not sure. i don't have a dress. and i don't have a date-- yet. but i might get one-- or i mean both. it might be fun... but i am just a tiny bit nervous of the process of getting either. if no one asks me it'll be sad. :( but i've got my fingers crossed

do you ever feel like someone's mad at you? but they just won't say anything... or they are really different... and you wanna tell them cuz it's like annoying you... but you just can't. i am aggreviated and i can't even explain it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! 2002 is gonna be i blast i can feel it! ^_^ i was just outside and i looked up in the sky and the moon is sooooo pretty right now. it's a perfect circle and there's like a haze of yellow around it and then purple and blue... i dunno really how to describe it but it's really beautiful. new year's eve was fun! :) it was nice to be able to spend time with those prolly closest to me. :)
As i reflect on the last moments of 2001...
the last song i sang: Rasberry Ladie ( a song i composed today at work in a state of craziness. for those who don't know, Rasberry Ladee is a lady who is terribly smee ^_~ and crazee! basically she's me when i'm in that state of mind :P) o/~rasberry ladiee is so smee woo wa wee wooooooo :) hahahahaha anyhoo... O_o
the last word i said: one! :)
the last group of people i was with: mom, dad, jo, heidi, irina, alex, auntie maureen, and uncle keith! :)
the last game i played: taboo! :)
i can't think of anymore last things...
oh! the last drink i had was apple cider :9
so.... what of new year's resolutions? i barely ever keep them but this year i really want to have some persaverance in my resolutions. cuz well, what's the point if i don't keep them :? wellll... i think these are it. but this is sorta a rough draft. i need to think some more about it before they are for sure for sure.
1) no more swearing or saying "oh my God"
2) to stop talking about people behind their backs... i wanna be more upfront i guess, if i really dont' like someone i think they deserve to know cuz well, that's what i'd want... :?
3)do devotions EVERY day... no excuses ^_~
4)think before i speak. (hmmm... impossible? maybe.)
i think i will stop there. that's plenty enough for me. at least for now :) *grin*
anyhoo, gonna go now... luv you all ( you know who you all are) oh btw, i'm thirsting for some email coffeecutie_jc@yahoo.ca email me if you have time? :) thanks a bunch! hugs*~*~*

i had my mind set on blogging about Christmas today. let's just say things took a turn of events. my feeling right now is... searing pain on the inside. i feel as if i have been ripped to pieces by the ones i care about. ripped to pieces and as each piece is carefully being inspected without my permission and then promptly being seen as unfit and disposed of in the trash. as i turn to pick up the pieces from out of the trash which have been ruled unworthy, i try to fit them back into myself... create myself again. done! i exclaim excitedly and this is me... but then i notice the stench. i have been covered by the stink of the garbage. because that's all i am to anyone. garbage. i know God made me and i know God loves me... so why do my family and friends all think i'm all wrong? what is it that is so horrible about me? why do they not even attempt to understand how i feel? by hurling insults at me is that helping me? NONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this day has been pretty bad. as you can probably tell. i have concluded from the events of this day that:
(a) i should disappear
(b)i am the cause of all the problems
(c) i should become anorexic
(d) i'm ugly, stupid, proud, a show off, and insecure
(e) my room is a mess so that concludes that i'm messed up inside. (yes that is a direct quote)
(f) i'm insecure which means that i do stupid things for example swear and try to kill myself.
(g) did i mention that i'm insecure?
(h) i can't handle any of my problems i can't do anything right i have psychological problems

it's funny how almost all these things are almost direct quotes from my closest friends and family. actually i take that back it's not funny it's sad. it's sad how they think i have problems and don't believe in myself when really, they're the ones who don't believe in me. believe it or not, i say this after talking to someone who DOES understand. maybe not everything perfectly but he/she tries hard. and he/she cares about ME. i'm not perfect. that's for sure. but i am so grateful he/she loves me anyways. he/she told me that even though many of the things said to me today were unreasonable, they were most likely said out of care. after this rant and a bit of time to cool off i believe her. i thank my family and friends who care. but sometimes, insults are not the right way to show it. and sometimes, yelling isn't either. and sometimes when people stand up for me it is easier for me to step down from my pedistool of stubborness and pride and consider what they say out of concern. especially if they say it with an open mind and an open heart. not to mention open arms.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!
i feel anything but lonely today!!! :) i am so lucky to have so many family and friends... more like blessed actually! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS! i feel so joyful right now... there's this feeling in the air... i don't know quite how to describe it.. Christmas has been so wonderful so far. i got to spend time with my family and open lots and lots of presents! *grin* ^_~ and tonite we're having this huge Christmas feast with Jo and Heidi's family, Wall's family, Daniel's family, and Auntie Amelia and Uncle Alick's family :) that's gonna be fun-- friends and FOOD! :9 yum. but the feeling is so.. ummm magical... i know that's kinda corny.. but i think it's joy. :) i just can't stop singing! i'm listening to Jaci Velasquez's Christmas CD right now... she sings this song with the Chipmunks it's sooooo cute!!!!!

Anyhoo, i hope everyone is having an even more amazing Christmas than me :) i just wanna thank all my friends and family for being there for me and caring for me even when it's difficult. i know i take you for granted a lot and i'm sorry but i just wanna tell you how grateful i am. VERY. thanks. k. gotta jet!

barely anyone is left in waterloo... it feels sort of lonely i'm not sure why. many people are not going to leave :) yay! :)
tommorow is going to have to go by quickly... cuz i might die if it doesn't. i can't wait til the holidays .... it can't come soon enough for me. my friend yuki is moving back to japan on saturday :*( bai yuki! i guess... on the bright side of things, i can snail mail her ... :? yeah.... i'm feeling sort of empty right now... not like depressed empty... but like i don't have anything to say. it bothers me. i'm always supposed to have something to say about everything... at least that is usually the case. but right now. i only have something to say about not having anything to say. boy is that sad. i kinda wanna call someone. but ... i think i've called everyone there is to call tonight already. darn. and even if i did call, well... i don't have anything to say. :?

i had this weird dream last night...
a large group of people (myself included) were in this room with a big window.... this room was totally unfamiliar to me but i remember that it was night and there were pretty stars. i don't remember who was really there except joanna, my sister, euhan, and evelyn(the mandarin pastor's 9 yr old daughter) and there was a refrigerator in the middle of the room... don't ask me why. suddenly there was a great flash of light and i heard someone scream "THE SUN IS EXPLODING!" and then the earth began shaking and we all fell to the ground... the fridge fell on top of me as i screamed for help. but then... it was over and somehow we were suddenly teleported in some way to a large bedroom with a bathroom... i noticed that euhan was no longer there and that Karen Wong, Dawn (from ottawa), and the girl that was sitting two seats in front of me at joint service on sunday (ARGH!) were there and they were studying for an exam. they had a phone with them.... and i kept trying to get it but they wouldn't give it to me. i was quite frustrated but they explained they needed the phone to call euming so she could hep them with the questions on their exam O_o ... riight. so i stole the phone, ran into the bathroom and locked the door... then i decided i needed to call euhan so ii did but euming picked up the phone and i woke up.

yesterday i encountered a very evil guy in my accounting class. there has never been anyone i hate more in my entire life. the things he said... were... nevermind. but they were really mean. i can't explain how much it hurt.

bai bai to clara and waiki tommorow! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! *grin* and a happy new year!
i don't get it... but it's sad when people leave for like two weeks :P it really shouldn't be that big of a deal. but i'm kinda sad. oh wellies! such is life i guess (heehee^_^) or that's just the way i am. both work quite well. nite.

It's the last week of school before the holidays! YAY! ^_^ i am so excited about Christmas and everything! but i have to do mass shopping this weekend :P blah. some people are just too hard to shop for. :Þ yes. i think everyone should just write out some special list of everything they want for Christmas and distribute it... but then i guess it wouldn't be much of a surprise then would it? i guess the element of surprise is good...

What do I want for Christmas this year... well.. i've told different people different things... i told my parents i want a drumset or a punching bag... i told my friends i wanted clothes, YM, etc... but what do i REALLY want for Christmas? i've been contemplating this... i want all those things... but there are other things i want that people can't give me. Firstly, i want the Lord to grant me perseverance and continuing motivation to do things God's way. in my heart i really want to ... but it's so hard.. "I do not understand what i do for what i want to do i do not do, but what i hate, I do. And if i do what i do not want to do, i agree that the law is good." Romans... something. but that's exactly how i feel. i dont' want to do wrong things. and i know i shouldn't... but i do anyways.It's hard. Secondly, i want to gain back what i have lost through the various stupid things i have done. And thirdly, i want the time to spend with my true friends who love me as i am. i guess of all three of those things, the second will be the least likely for me to get. why? well... i'm sure with continued prayer to the Lord, he will grant me strength.. and i will make time in the holidays to spend with everyone if i truly make an effort. but the second one is totally nonsensical and unrealistic. it is also entirely beyond my control. so i really doubt i will be able to get everything back. maybe in some areas that my stupidity has effected but definitely not all. but hey, what can i do? nothing. just pray i guess. praying does a lot though... because the Lord always listens. "though you turn away, i tell you still, dont' know you i'll always love you, and i always will" (Third Day) it is a great reassurance to know the Lord loves me no matter how many times i screw up. it never ceases to amaze me.

btw, as many of you know i've been thinking about baptism for the past long long while... something hit me hard on Sunday and i would really appreciate prayer about God's guidance in the matter... thanks so much! :) time to go... i'm gonna go get my tc form before i gets all filled up before i mail my registration form in or something! =P bai!

pho is sooooooo yummy!!! ^_^ i had #102 again as always... although Jo had to remind me of what number it was that matched with the stuff i always get. Tonight, Ben Em Jo Wall and I went to Ben Tham at ummm.... 6:30?? or was it 7:00? ... no it was six.. hahaha the time changed so many times-- at first it was seven then it changed to five thirty and then to six and then to six thirty *grin* and i think we ended up getting there at around seven :) hahaha what a coincidence Anyhoo, i was really glad to have the chance to get together with Ben and Em before Christmas... i think it was actually the first time this term (and the last) that i did something with both of them i guess because everyone is so busy and stuff but i was really good cuz well ... it reminds me of last last term which was fun and... i guess sometimes, when you spend time with people you realize how important friendship really is. i think that friendship is my second highest value next to God because as Pastor Tim said in his "Friendship Love" sermon, Felios is the only love you can actually control and choose-- you choose your friends and who to really love. so i guess it means a lot since it is not forced or instinct. there's been times this term when i've prolly come close to losing important people in my life who i really care about because of the stupid things i've done. even though i wish these things could disappear and never have happened i think i really gained a knowledge of how deeply i actually treasure my friendships with people. i guess i learned that if you're not careful with friendships they can shatter like glass or if you don't pay enough attention to it or communicate, these friendships will slip quickly out of your fingertips. i've discoverded these things through not only my experiences but through the experiences of others ... sometimes, even the greatest friendships in which the love between people is so strong and they are so close... things can still happen. And so, i guess we all need to just treasure our friends and our friendships while they last. not saying friendships will for sure break apart... but just in case... don't always assume there's a tommorow for everything... carpe diem! ^_^ so i just wanna say that to all my friends out there: i love you guys!!!!!! and you're really important to me and i wanna say thanks for being there mwa***
g'nite. oh! btw, did you know raw bean sprouts can be used to squirt people with? it's fun.. but i have not mastered the technique. :P i'll get you next time ben :)

"Respect your elders." most people have heard this phrase at some point or another in their lives. especially if you're Chinese cuz well... Chinese people i guess place a lot of importance on it. for example, you always call people older than you by the name "auntie or uncle, po po(grandma) or gong gong(grandpa), gaw gaw(older brother) or jeh jeh(older sister)" this applies not only to family but to complete strangers. i've resented this custom ever since before i can remember. deeply resented. why? because, for those of you who know me, know that i HATE AGISTS. agists are by my definition, those who look down on or treat people unfairly because of their age. also, if you know me, you know that i tend to socialize with people who are older than me... i'm not sure why. but it just happens that way. don't get me wrong, a LOT of my close friends are my peers, in fact my very very bestest friend jo is. but ever since i was little i just would hang out with people who were older. that's just the way i am. anyhoo, when i was little, people would try to get me to call my friends who were older than me "jeh jeh or gaw gaw" and i HATED it ... in fact, since i was a brat, i sometimes blew up in their face at the very suggestion of it. or, if they spoke of my friend in that way toward me, i would pretend not to know who they were talking about. actually, i would prolly do the same thing now. just because it's like my biggest pet peeve. i remember one time alexis called me a sunday school kid... and ... yeah. well i wasn't too happy with him. my point is-- why do we respect our elders? pour tea for them first, let them sit first, call them special names, let them have all the benifits... i mean, really old people i get it because of them being so old and frail and stuff ya know... no biggie at all... but how about people in their 40's, 30's, and even 20's? how are they entitled MORE to my respect than a six year old? a very wise friend of mine once told me "respect has to be earned" and i agree. by being born at a certain date are people entitled more respect than others? umm don't think so... we don't CHOOSE that remember? i think people, including myself, forget quickly what it's like to be a certain age and then don't give it the due respect. i think that if someone wants me to respect them, they should maybe do something that's really worth respecting. the older you are, that just means that you've had more time to do that something that's worth the respect society so blatantly expects.

that was my rant for the day. ^_^ i had an ok day ... Lozon was really nice to me today and i realized he has really nice blue eyes. NO i do NOT have a crush on my science teacher! ... i have a crush on Jo's history teacher... *sigh* what a hottie ^_~ anyhoo, this week, i've been trying to be less of a reactive person in situations as in a "don't bitch back" type thing. ... what that's resulted in is me crying twice in the past two days at school. GRRRRRRR i HATE crying in front of people it's so embarressing... i hate when people ask you what's wrong just cuz they want to know, not cuz they actually care. plus, my makeup runs when i cry :P but anyhoo, i decided i'm gonna keep trying... but this time instead of just trying to hold it in, i'm gonna try to either not care what happens or be optimistic about it. i also think i need to stop talking about people behind their back as much... it's not as if i do it intentionally... but it just happens but that's definitely something i'm gonna work on. (prayer please? *grin*) so yeah. this will be interesting i'm sure. anyhoo, time to sleep. this blog has been one whole ramble of thoughts. sorry if it's un understandable.. i will try to make it more better next time. i think i'm just too tired Christmas is coming!!!!!! ^_^_TWELVE MORE DAYS!!! we can start singing the twelve days of Christmas!!!! which by the way has these coolio hidden meanings.... nevermind. i'm going to sleep now. nite mwa***

wow. i haven't blogged in a long time. i was going to last nite... really i was... but i got sick. headache, tummyache, and a fever too :( :P it was not cool at all. i didn't go to piano. so i missed the duet practise joanna and i were supposed to have and now we have to go on saturday :P bleh.
these past few weeks have been pretty cool :) shabba came up last wednesday and we had lunch and caught up pretty much :) which was really nice cuz i haven't seen her in forever. and... lessie... praylude on friday and we talked about how some secular symbols have become the true meaning of Christmas to others and how we need to keep our eyes on the real meaning of Christmas.
i found this cute poem in one of my old brio's:
Lots of shopping at the mall
Family members come to call
Dozens of cookies yet to bake
Mysterious presents around to shake
A fragrant tree topped with a star
Christmas cards from near and far
But the real meaning of Christmas
when all's said and done
Is the love of God and the Gift of His son! ^_~

yuppers! Jesus is the reason for the season ^_^ i'm gonna try to remember that more this year... but i can still have fun with all the other things we do to celebrate the holidays! :) *grin* my weekend is so packed. Tommorow we're going Christmas shopping in Burlington at six... we're going to Ikea first ( I LOVE IKEA!) and then Burlington Mall for the Midnite Madness :) yay! and i think Dora and Jo are gonna sleep over tommorow nite afterwards... with Kat too maybe... and then on Saturday morning at 9:30 we're going horseback riding with Tara and Taryn and Jenn and ummm... yeah i think that's it it's gonna be soooo awesome!! i'm riding this horse called Princess and she's sooooo pretty! then at 4:00 i have my duet practise with Jo... and then at 8:00 we have Cantata practise at church cuz the Cantata's on SUNDAY O_o and also, on sunday is our piano recital. :P barf. but right now. i need to go study for my math test which is TOMMOROW. *sigh* i got offered marajuana today. i was like "ummm.. NO." yeah. gross man. oh. btw, i learned something today: the average woman eats about 8 pounds of lipstick a year. gross. what's lipstick made out of anyways?