miss vickies makes the best chips ever.
esp sweet chilli and sour cream-- OMG. so good =P,,,

i suddenly really feel like reading Purpose Driven Life...
i have the book but i lent it to my dad so i haven't started it. but apparently it's really good according to a lot of people so maybe i'll start it as soon as exams end.

i don't enjoy how the new blogger has this "lofi" version for "web browsers that lack robust Stylesheet and/or DHTML capabilities." obviously the school web browsers lacks these things.. i don';t like this lofi business.

btw, g u were right garnier fructis is VERY nice =) ... not only does its smell make me almost pass out in the shower but my hair feels LOVELEEE today :D
yay :)

i got 83% on my math test!!!!!!!!
ok yes. i know some of you are going "is that good?" ... *cough*dru *cough* ... but for me in MATH that's like... AwESOME :D
ahhhhh i'm so happy :) thanks God for helping me out =) cuz obviously an 83 in math for me is definitely divine intervention :) hehe
oh! also....

i have found my soulmate.

wow. i was goign thru my ym today telling eunie everything i saw that i wanted...
but if there is one thing i want -- the nokia 3650 is it.
oh *drool*... [please click on 'soulmate' to enjoy =P]

the power of prayer

something really cool happened today...

i am exerpting this from an icq convo because i'm too lazy to retype it out:

well there's this girl ... and shecame to our church for the first time last summer... her aunt brought her... she's not a christian... and at first when she came we weren't very nice to her... and then after i felt bad so i made a commitment to call her regularily and be really ncie to her and invite her to church things... and stuff and for a while i did and she came a lot more often..
but then somehow i stopped calling as much and stuff and she hasnt' come for like 4 months.. she called me like 2 weeks ago but i was out and i lost her # so couldn't call her back
and so today the sermon was abotu spreading the gospel etc... and so i thot of her and i was like crap... so i prayed and was liek "God... sorry for compeltely forgetting about her.. if you could give me another chance to reach out to her that would be really great and i'll try my hardest..." so after service i go downstairs to the kitchen and there she is standing right there after 4 months.

and i was like "wow God that was super fast."

anyways... i thoguth that was really cool i mean... God answers prayers btu usually for me the reply isn't so... abrupt..
which was a really cool experience =) so yeah thanks God :)

just created this new picture page thingy ...
check it out

also... i finally figured out how to change font size from this funky chickens html help site yay!!! =) thankyou chickens. i'm addicted.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EM!!!!!!!! =D

i just logged into blogger and found that..... i've been switched over to the new version! =) i like. =) i wanna make some changes soon too..

i haven't blogged for days.. i just haven't really been in the mood i guess..
but this long, terrible week is finally over and i think things should take a turn for the better from here.

in regards to Lynch... after i wrote that blog entry i was in tears and went down the hall as i was going to make a phone call... i ran into my guidance cousellor aka my ex careers teacher mr. ranton who asked me what was wrong and i guess i really needed to talk abotu it cuz i splurged and told him everything... and basically he was like "oh my gosh ... that makes me so mad! that's sexual harrassment... you know... we have a zero tolerance policy for that..." and well i was reluctant to tell the vp at first but then ranton was like "why don't we call dora down here and talk abotu it and then you can decide" so we did and basically i decided to tell the vp and .. yeah. so it's out of my hands now. but i told because i dont' want him thinking he can get away with it and have it happen to someone else. last i heard, Lynch denied it and said that it was his friend who did it. ha some friend he is. but dora saw with her very own eyes. and i'm sure his friend is not going to admit to something he didn't do .. sooo.. i dunno. i haven't really been thinking about it too much. trying not to. thanks to all my great friends who were there makin sure i was ok :) love you

rugby party on thursday was a blast =) jenn's house is SOOOOOO nice -- INDOOR POOL! ... plus a hot tub and a sauna... and it was a lot of fun hanging out with the team again.. i really missed it.

bunches of ppl here and there


playing chubby bunny-- mel, court, durst


just being weiiirdd.... -- nikki, jenn --- elba --- amy, nikki

i haven't been so overwhelmingly angry in such a long time.
i remember just last week ranting to g about how much i despised ryan lynch
who for refrence is the BIGGEST loser in the entire world.
*steeaaaaammmm*
also for reference i am NOT used to sexual harrassment nor am i one of those kids that gets picked on or anything or has no friends. although it really doesn't matter whether i am or am not... these events should NOT have occured.
ryan lynch is this grade twelve guy who thinks he owns the school. but i guess the only reason he hasn'tbeen ridiculed until his ass waskicked into the streets is because he is too gay for people to bother with him and because of a select few who think he is in some way attractive. i guess... in a movie he'd be one of those dumb athletic guys who pick on people for fun and to fulfil their lack of self esteem... but unlike the movies he doesn't specifically target the people who can't seem to defend themselves-- he does it to EVERYONE. and gosh it pisses me the hell off!! i mena, i've never liked him since i heard him and his friend yell racist comments out of their car at a bunch of arabic people... but i just happen to be in the wrong places in the wrong times i guess because i have stumbled into his disgusting path a number of times. the first time... i was walking to mikey's up hickory. and as i was at the intersection of hickory and ... i forget the name of the street... their car turned the corner and he screamed out the window at me. i friggin jumped and screamed .. and i was a bit pissed but at the same time it *was* sorta funny and he didn't really do anything. but then him and his stupid friends made fun of kat becuase she took a book out of the library! liek what the fack!?!?! (as kat would say) . and then last week when he retardedly stuffed stuff in his shirt to make his arm look muscular and then came up to me and put his arm in my face.. i was soooo pissed especially after him having been staring at my chest... i was like "FUCK OFF" and kept walking. yes i know i know the language.. but gosh! i just ... he made me so mad. and JUST NOW... dora and i were walking up the stairs from the caf and i felt liek a pushing from behind me. i thought itw as jsut the crowd so i turn around and see his ugly face and i'm just like "oh my God" and turned back around. for some reason i thought he solution was to ignore him. but that was dumb considering he TOUCHED MY ASS!!!! he FREAKING TOUCHED MY ASS! .. i was gonna turn around and push him down the stairs .. but concern for the people behind him prevented me from doing so. and as he walked past me he wa slike "it wasn't me".
yeah whatever you retard only my BEST FRIEND was standing stagerred and SAW YOU DO IT you asshole.
and he has the audacity to turn to dora and grin at her. she gave him the dirtiest look.
who does he think he is?!
i have never been sexually harrassed before.

i'm gonna cry. this has been the WORST day.

a big congrats to eunie!!!

on the topic of university....
tiff and i were talkign about where we were gonna go after next year....and how it would be cool if we both went to the same university namely waterloo. i was amused. here's how it went:

tiff: it would be cool if we both went to waterloo! we could be roomates!

jasy: yeah! ... we could live at WRCI..... we could live at b1-06! haha..

tiff: WE COULD BE EUMING AND ANITA!!!!!

rofl.

oh btw, i quirked around tiff's blog a little so go check it out and sign her guestbook :)

saw auntie rebecca today! haven't seen her for such a long time!!! =) she is still the exact same so that was cool =) hehe...

met up with adrienne (aka b1) at st. cin's today =) twas cool to get a chance to catch up, eat cinnamon buns and discuss how the male population of waterloo is well... *anyways*... hahaha..
yes.. i am in a boy crazyish mood today =P

di called!!!! =) velly nice to talk... see how things are going in aussie =) .. and also nita woke up in the nick of time so i got to chat with her for a bit too which was super cuz i haven't talked to her on da fone in like SO long and ... yeah. i was happy :)

mmm.. that's all the happy and semi interesting things that happened today =) niteynite

today while talking to ellyssa (sp?) ... i was talking about how if i could part with moocow for the summer, i was gonna give him to tiff so he could see australia =) and have pictures take then there and stuff ... and she was saying about how in amelie, the girl gave a gnome to her friend and did the same thing! .. i was going to borrow amelie from yuling last term to watch but i forgot...so i haven't seen it yet but i wanna see it even more now..
oooohhh i do hope i am able to let go of moocow for a while cuz that would be so fun for him!! and amusing for me =) hehe

did you see that? "i do hope.." haha .. i was reading anne of the windy poplars while soaking in my bubble bath... i love anne of green gables ... everytime i read it i get into such a *romantic* mood after wards.. and i just swoon over the tiniest things =)
ok i usually do swoon over the tiniest things but i do it so much more poetically after having read it.

i finally uploaded tc pics... yes i know tc was 2 and a half months ago but i never thought of it until just today... =P there's still a lot more but i am too lazy to put them all up... HERE sign in as moomoobear and the password is smileyface.

PLUS



EQUALS

non stop laughter and kat screaming =P also i think i screamed a bit too when the shark came =P

i give this movie a 5 out of 4 it was SOOOOO good =)
lol... THE best =)
made me forget about all the poopie things that went on today... =) nice to hang out with my girls =) and since dora has her g2 now we were able to not squish in the car and sing Dumb Girls at the top of our lungs =) and talk about most everything without having to whisper or speak chinese haha...
anyways .. go see Finding Nemo!!! =)

also i got a haircut today... ntohign too drastic just more layers ... yeah. tried the new korean place ... it's actually pretty good but not as good as my hairdresser.. but she wasn't available today...

"15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[3] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it." Rom. 7: 15-20

my apologies to anyone who was offended by my previous post.
did i mean everything i said? no.
do i ever when i'm ranting? no.
but i do reserve the right to be frustrated.
i did say it was a rant didn't i?
and i dind't say i hated anyone.
and no. this person doesn't even know i have a blog.
at least not to my knowledge.

thanks kreazeless gurlz... you three are the best.

"I can't talk to you right now, I'm late for a meeting with my guidance counselor"

i don't know how many times i have fumed and raved about how much i despise just being "the friend" all the time.
well... yeah. i guess i dont' only frown on it when guys ask me about my friends... i just generally dislike when people repeatedly make certain comments about them. i mean it's nice to hear someone say "wow! your friend *** is so gorgeous!!!" once in a while =) i'm happy for my friends yeah. but then ... when it becomes like a routine thing. like every time someone sees them or their picture "oh wow she's so pretty!" then it just gets annoying. like yes. i know she's pretty whoopdeedoo. and yes i also know she is smart and amazing at sports and can do this and this and this and this . and yeah? she can also bullsh** and kiss your ass pretty well too huh?!
grr.
like freakin get to know someone before "you" *(you being people in general) judge them. i mean, granted i don't look like Quasimodo but shoot me if i can't feel a little hurt because my friend can just stand there and have whatchamever people flocking towards her or asking me gazzillions of questions about her because of her "amazing beauty". people just *assume* that she is also intelligent, spiritual, and mature. well yah you forgot athletic and "has everything".

and you know what? maybe she seems to have everything. but what you see there on the surface.. isn't the real deal. not all of it anyways. and maybe she knows how to slap on a dumpload of make up and keep her mouth shut except to say all the right thngs and kiss butt-- but newsflash! so can i. i just choose not to. i'd rather be this real live flaw-filled girl anyday than a perfect fake.

ending rant now.

rugby




what an amazing experience.
it's crazy how much i'm gonna miss rugby now that the season's over ... our second year team fought hard to get into playoffs and continued to fight hard to win waterloo county quarter finals and semi finals... at finals we faced the only team we'd lost to all season-- the undefeated Grand River people.. and lost again =P .. however the top two teams of each county continued on to face all the top teams of central and western ontario yesterday at cwossaa in hopes of moving on once more to ofssaa to play against the top teams of all of ontario...
i think we were pretty proud of being a second year team at cwossaa yesterday, and playing the Walkerton Trojans who won bronze in ofssaa last year, we didnt' really expect to win... and we didn't =P but we walked away from that knowing we had played hard and had a great time =) ...

i still remember back to the beginning of the season. the first practice was insane. it hit me like a thousand pound boulder being dropped on my head of how out of shape i really was. by the end of that practice my voice was completely gone and i was seeing splotches of random colour flashing in my eyes. desperately calling g to meet me at st. cins i remember just freaking out to her so much in between gulps of water and gasps of air of how it would be impossible for me to make it through the season...
there were ups and downs... dreading practice, trying to get more fit, being completely frustrated about not being able to do thigns right... but then there was the team. the team made it all one of the best experiences ever. just knowing that no matter how skilled or not skilled someone was at whatever... whether someone was having a good day or a bad day... everyone was there supporting her. cheering her on. for some people it was the tackling or the scrums or the kicks .. for me it was the running. gosh man. i suck so much at running. and yeah i was pretty slow and wanted to give up so much in the beginning .. but when everyone runs together as a team and your friends are all around you cheering you on or the best player on the team is running beside you grabbing your arm and dragging you that extra 20 m to the end... it's ... quite an experience. At first.. very humbling because i rarely do things that i can't do well for the sake of my pride... but then... just a great feeling in knowing you have so much support and that no one really cares whether you can run or etc or not. rugby this season has taught me about perseverance and teamwork and has been the subject of many conversations, laughter, and tears, and has been the basis upon which i have built many amazing friendships that i truly treasure. =)
and when we are all in a big bunch with our hands piled up and we cheer "family", that means something.
and i wouldn't trade that for all the days i missed sitting on my couch watching Passions. =)

poooooop!
blogger deleted my template!!!
>_< had to start all over =P

happy *actual* birthday jess! =) hehe =)

CWOSSAA at Walkerton tommorow lol baha.. bringing lots of water =P
prolly last day of rugby this season *tear*

yay for eunie! who loves sunset beach like me =D
fyi, Sunset Beach was only *the* best soap ever until it ended =P

thanks for the cheesecake tiff =) it was yummy

gonna go to bed so i can get up tommorow... bus leaves at SEVEN!? O_o.
nite.

[saturday]
happy birthday jess!!! =) ... or is it tommorow?... =P

chilled at em's all day =) ate alot =)

bball - jo tiff mo wall simon and alex... my exercise for the weekend before cwossaa!!!!... oh btw, did i mention we lost finals? =P
so we're second best in Waterloo County... but considering we're only a second year team i think that's pretty darn good =) hehe ..
anyways monday we have cwossaa and that'll be it for the season... unless we win at cwossa which is ... highly unlikely. but we made it there at least! =) i'm gonna miss my team...

gray

i see gray.
this city is so dull right now. even the sky was gray today... thunder clouds looming overhead... sharp breeze and soon rain.
the weather seemed to eat up the city as if it was so sick of the monotony of it all, it decided to envelope it in its own version of gloom.
waterloo is so cold...
waterloo is so boring-- i complained to alexis on the phone, who happens to be in toronto. lucky duck. also i'm a lucky duck for him coming to the rescue as i was slowly being eaten away to death by the big gray monster called Melancholy.
i dunno. i supposed i have been feeling pretty blah for a few days. admist the extreme dullness, a few things have happened this week. none really significant or interesting or still existing enough to mention... other than Heid called yesterday =) it was nice to be able to catch up since she's in aussie and all ...
nice that she thought of me. made me feel really good considering i've been overwhelmed with feelings of insignificance lately i guess. you kno what's hard? feeling like a bother. it's always up to your own interpretation i suppose which is why it's so frustrating... cuz sometimes you'll think "i'm being a nuisance" and then you'll be like "oh no i shouldn't think that. that's so mean to think that so and so is treating me like a bother." i've tried to avoid the feeling but i guess now that i have some moments to spare i realize i feel very inconsequential. i'm not sure if that word is being used in the correct context.i don't know. just doesn't seem like people care very much anymore. not that God isn't good enough for me or i think i am going to die alone or whatever... but it still hurts.
meh.
so anyways... things like heidi calling and alexis letting me bug him while he's reading his comics has really brightened things up a little =)
unfortunately neither of them are here.
and so i'm back to how waterloo is the most boring place on the face of the earth.

a few things i've had on my mind a bit:
- is it possible to have no expectations whatsoever?
doesn't seem to be working for me. i mean... i do try. but there's jsut certain things that i do expect and ... well can you force yourself not to expect something that you do? and isn't it even MORE impossible when wants are considered expectations? like.. i can maybe want something and not expect it but if a want is considered an expectation then that's jsut .. well i am not at that level of maturity for sure. i guess maturity would be the word to use. self control?

- when we pray for something like... the weather being nice..
and say you're camping and you pray for no rain and it doesn't rain and you're like "PRAISE GOd! it didn't rain on me!" and it's like all incorporated into this big plan that God has for it not to rain on you. but if it rains then it has nothing to do with God ... i can't think of a better example off the top of my head but it seems like .. alot of the time it's like that.. when good things happen it's always God but when bad things happen it's never God. i'm not saying i blame God for the bad things that happen to me... or not even bad things more like good things *not* happenning.. but i dont' understand ... can it actually be adjusted like that? deciding what God does and does not affect?...i'm not really sure .. i have to think about it more. but yeah. just curious if anyone knows "the answer".

ps. my archives disappeared =( and blogging is too stupid to let me replublish them =(

purpose

sometimes things are so confusing because you don't know what is the right*est* thing to do..
i mean, more than one thing can be the "right" thing... but each has its downfalls...
but when you've figured it out finally, you have to do it.. even though it may break someone's heart and your own.
i'm so proud of you.

and at the same time i'm also stunned. i stand and look at the craziness i ... we went through.
and all for what?...
it seems like it was all for broken dreams.

but then i think again.
and no. maybe it was for the new found strength we have gained through this experience, or the lesson in considering eachother before ourselves, or the bond that is so much stronger between us because we know we made it.
maybe God was trying to show us something.

maybe that's what it was for.

30 hour was great =)
well... besides the hunger part =).. a great time of fellowship with everyone!
and in the end it was nice to have reflected on how certain people feel everyday... and how blessed we truly are to be able to have such abundant "supplies"... and how we shoudl really be thanking the Lord SO much everyday..
below: [left to right] top row: wayne, esther, jeff, wall, jasy, alex, caleb, dora
2nd row: jo, victoria, cyndi, simon, flo, kat, tiff



specially thanks to wayne =) thanks for chilling with us for 24 hours and helping everything work =) much appreciated =)