annoyed

i've been in toronto for the past four days just hanging out and seeing people. (since 95 percent of my friends live in the gta ..) For the most part its been a blast as usual...

however. i came on here to rant because i'm just really mad and i donm't know how to express it. i have difficulty actually TELLING the person that i'm upset because.. why bother if they dont' even seem to care how their actions affect me in the first place. i made plans to meet up with someone yesterday (thursday) at 10 a.m. Mind you, they picked the time. if you know me, you know i'm not a morning person.,.. i was also up late but i was up and ready in time. at 11 a.m. the person still hadn't called. so i was alittle worried so i call and they dont' answer the phone. so i'm like ok fine. so i just go out. and then at around 3:30 in the afternoon i get a call from them saying they slept in. so okay i'm like yeah its totally fine no worries. cuz i guess things happen and although i was a little bit annoyed, i've done stupid things in the past too. so THEN the person is like let's meet up tomorrow (today) instead. i'm like are you suuuure cuz if you're busy or you can't its totally fine. but the person insisted it would be fine and said we shoudl meet at the same time.
so just guess what happened. it is now 12pm and the person has not yet called.
at first i was like maybe i'm being unreasonable but the more i think about it NO. i have a right to be angry. chris tsoi gets mad when ppl are five minutes late haha becuase it just shows that the person has NO respect for me or my time. ALL my friends pretty much live in toronto i could spend my time being with OTHER ppl who actually care. or i could sleep IN!! ... but no.

i just don't think its fair that someone should be able to waste my time TWO DAYS in a row. ... i'm not some little kid anymore willing to wait for hours and hours just to spend two minutes with you. ... ARGH

yow mo gow choh ah!??!!?!

christmas boos

the holidays so far have been pretty good ... i enjoy being with my family around the holiday season. we amuse eachother and sometimes we have really great conversations. today i spent the entire day with my mother shopping and it was fun =) we had second cup(wheee)and we talked alot especially since my mom refuses to drive on the highway so the drive to and from fairview was pretty long and we had a pretty in depth and interesting conversation. and we had a few laughs too =)

but you know what i am HATING about this christmas?

for ONE thing. it's on SUNDAY. usually, our family "tradition" type thing is we get up around 10 something and my mom makes us this huge brunch with bacon and sausage and eggs and the works, and then we take turns opening presents and we take pics. it's all very picturesque actually. but THIS year, church is at 10/11 which means, in order to do that, we're gonna have to get up at like 7 am. everyone knows i am NOT a happy camper at 7 in the morning. NOR am i photogenic.

and number TWO, apparently, i am just not really a part of my family anymore.
ther'es this whole carolling thing a couple families from my church are doing. pretty much, asked my parents and my sister to be in it. my sister has a *special* part. i didn't even KNOW about it until like 1/2hr ago (which btw, its currently 2:00am on december 24th but i just dindt' want to make this my christmas eve post). people just dont' even remember that i'm part of my family anymore. RUDE!!!!
and my family dindt' really bother to tell me about this. they also failed to mention that on christmas we are going over to some family friend's house for dinner.
i guess i can see how my parents might just assume that i dont' want to come or want to know since yeah, i dont' go to alot of these functions anymore

but it's CHRISTMAS for goshsakes. and it hurts.

who's done?...whO'S WATCHING NARNIAAA TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????

(...me =))

mormon's worst nightmare

doug's farewell dinner at the keg was supposed to be at 6pm. however there was a THREE hour wait, and in the end the dinner got moved to NINE pm instead. kat jo alison carson and i decided to go back to kat's house for the three hour wait.

we were just chilling and eating in kat's dining room/kitchen when alison and i both heard a rattling at the door. "errr i think there's someone at the door" i said. kat approached the door and indicated quite loudly that ther were two men standing outside. "should i open the dooor??!" we all rushed towards the door frantically peering out the side windows at the already baffled looking men. "don't open the door!!!!" "who IS it ??? is it herman???? no... they're white" "carson open the door!" "JUST OPEN THE DOOR!!!!" kat finally opens the door. "HI!" says one of the two smiling guys (in their mid20's or so) "my friend and i are missionaries from our church and..."

anndddddd the dog runs out the door. (fyi kat's family is looking after a friend's little white dog frosty during the holidays)

"OH NOOO!!!!!!!" screams Kat. "I FORGOT I HAD A DOG!!!!" omgomgomgomg everyone's frantic. kat looks at one of the guys as frosty runs past him. "CAN YOU GET HIM FOR ME!!???" The two guys just stand there frozen not knowing what to do. we are all screaming at the dog and at eachother. kat runs around the house trying to find treats and the leash. carson runs out of the house after the dog that he can't see because of his small small eyes "IT"S CAMOUFLAUGeD!!" says carson. joanna runs out on to the snow covered driveway BAREFOOT. (haha typical jo). Kat is screaming "WHERE IS THE LEASH!????!" Alison is repeatedly yelling "HERE! i'm HOLDING IT!!!" but kat doens't hear her for a while.. jo and carson come back in with the dog. "oh thank GOD!!!! omg" "what's WRONG with you frosty????!!!!" "you went out BAREFOOOT!?????!"

silence. "so ANYWAYS! hi!" i say to the guys STILL standing there.

"uhhh hi my friend and i are missionaries from our church... blablabla" Hands us a tract with a candycane attached. "errr... thanks!"

we close the door and laugh hysterically for like 20 min.

we read the tract and found out that they were mormons. hahaha i feel so bad for them hahaha but hopefully we created some err... humour? for them during their manditory evangelism.

snowlove*

for the past few weeks, other than crazy snow attacks when dropping carson off, i couldn't find anyone to play in the snow with me. it made me sad... NICE snow only lasts for so long. and this powdery stuff is perfect for making SNOWANGELS. i asked kat and jo a million times to make snow angels with me and they kept refusing only to make snow angels on like the ONE DAY taht i wasn't with them. needless to say, i was quite disappointed.
then, today-- steph, derek, and i were walking to v1 and i was like to steph "... wanna make snow angels?" and she's like "sure!" and throws her bag on the ground i'm like WHOAAAAAA duddddeeee!!! bahahhaa anyways it was fun =) and derek took pictures :D here's my first official snowangel making of the winter =) :



afterwards, we went to get princess alice and chilled in the cafe with simon ho, kevin (happy, and i forget his other namelol), and nate. there were no pizza fingers *sigh* but i had a spicy chicken wrap and maaaaan oh man it was good. and then went back to alice's room for a bit and just chatted. =) it was a nice break before going back to stUDYing again tomorrow *sigh* (thanks guys =))

(3/4... almost thereee!!!)

hello random
when i woke up this morning i found $120 on my desk along with my favourite pair of socks (black puma) that i'd lost for a long time.

on my way to narnia
2/4 tonight.. and then 3 tomorrow and thennnnnnnnnnn 4 on monday and NARNIA! *whee*

misplaced
i was so stupid. detach, detach, detach!!... even i need to learn some self defense.
i won't take pride in selfishness though. i'm not going to be ashamed of caring about other people. (granted, sometimes i am the most selfish person you will ever meet) my world does not revolve around "number one", and i don't charge ahead uncaring of the hearts i may be shattering on my way.
MY bit of selfishness? always being afraid that things are "about" me, even when i know full well they aren't. overanalysing. maybe stepping on other people's right NOT to give a damn about me.
so here i protect myself and i protect them from me. i'm waving and i won't cry i single tear.
shhh before you say anything. i think i'm allowed to express myself too.

on that note
It takes little strength to rely on others, moderate strength to rely on yourself, and great strength to let go of that whole strength and pride thing and fall into the arms of God.
current status? still a weakling.

i smell a mystery

hellohello we are at DP ... we, that is, kat and i.
howeverrrrrr...

half an hour ago, kat disappeared from the cubicle behind me. she didn't take her cell phone.
at first i thought she went to the bathroom but after a while... her whereabouts seemed a bit more fishy. i have been trying to solve the mystery with the help of laura janna and joanna.

here's what we've come up with so far.
Q: Where is Kathryn Cheung?
A:
a) she died.
b) she is taking a half hour long crap
c) is really gassy and cant' get up
d) is HIDING (it's a GAME!!!!) hahaha

AHHHHH!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHA she's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and we were wrongggg... the answer to the mystery isssss.... she was practicing typing out her essay questions at the computers!

if you ask me, our solutions to the mystery were far more interesting.

janna says: take your cell phone next time but don't flush it!!!
bahhaaaa

so ... disposable. and pathetic.

red.blue?

why

it is important to know why.

i used to think maybe it wasnt' so important why. that constantly seeking out why was a waste of time, because no matter why, the who what when and where and how would most likely still be that way. therefore, why waste the effort into wondering why ... in a sense, certain things maybe i still dont' feel like questioning...
but there are three things i think are important:

1. why i believe in what i believe
recently someone who i consider to be really strong in their faith started questioning it. and at first i was like omg panic... doubt. is it "horrible"? ... honestly, i dont' think so. maybe its good. sometimes. maybe its good if it causes us to seek out God more and figure out WHY He is who He is. isn't that what He wants after all? for us to SEEK after him? to search for him... and thirst for more? should we be content in what we THINK we know and blindly walk in our naive faith?
i dunno. i can't say i am all theologically correct or know anything really ... but what i believe is that God wants us to have a firm faith, to know his heart and i dunno, if questioning things and digging helps us do that then i'm thinking its a good thing. and i think that if thats' what we're doing, trying to figure out why we believe, trying to REALLy find God .. that he'll provide those answers some way...

2. why other people are the way they are
we watched Crash tonight. really good movieee...
anyways the whole thing is all these people interconnected but what i thought was so crazy was one minute i would be liek omg i hate that person!!!! and then the next minute it would be like OHHHH no wonder they're like that. i dunno. i guess i talk too much smack. and i get angry really easily. maybe it would be better if i took the time to find out why people are the way they are ... and if i can't maybe even to just give them the benefit of the doubt...

annd i can't remmeber number 3 but i have to sleep so i'mma quit rambling.. gnite

and today...

today started off well =) kat and i went on a mcd's run and met up with mo there and chilled and talked about funny things that our families do. then kat and i went over to janna and laur's to drop off food and desperate housewives and ended up staying for a while just joking around and chatting. that was really nice =)
studying just kind of takes alot out of me though. its so hard to focus and to find a good place to do so. and today, i jsut felt a little bit unwanted. although jo and carson are fun to be with until jo had to go to work and we all got seperate rooms at tc. and then i read whitney's msn space and it was about how she went back to rev for dinner. and how she realized that she really missed first year.



that was september. its funny how little things have changed since. and the term ends in 2 weeks. crazy.

thursday was world AIDS day

"50 million people. This is the population of England. It’s also the number of AIDS orphans in Africa by 2010."

"I sat in the waiting room with the kids trying to tell them to sit on the bench in Siswathi, trying to hold the ones who fell asleep, and trying not to think about the reality that each and every one of these small beautiful children have a terrible virus raging in their veins."

"For the first time in my life, I glimpsed something deep into the heart of God, the heart of God the Father Who sent His Son so that we may live…I can honestly say that I wanted to give my life so that these children could live. I felt so hopeless as I realized that few of them will live to be older than my brother Colin, and none of them will be as old as my 16 year old brother Cody."

my don from last year is working in south africa trying to do something about all this. lately i've been moved to maybe go there myself.

in any case, go check out her blog http://masoyiafrica.blogspot.com and please support her in prayer and however else you can.

phone scare

so someone stole my phone from CIF today. and then they returned it like 10 hrs later. at least that's what i think happened. anwyays i'm just glad i have my phone back =)

studying at tc

studying at the coop building today with emz jo kat and carson haha.. so funny ... and lots of food... it was kinda gross but it was good =) i still can't decide between slc, dc, and now tc for finals. *sigh*

fun before finals

YAY! for:

annual mall escapades
fox & the fiddle* (celebrating seeing eachother;))
poutine and sweet dreams (scary waitress!!+cult)
voodoo wings and orchestral concerts (sitting in the front row hehe)
zehrs and chicken little
"wonders of winter" hehe not getting lost
jess's party

annnnnnnnnnd now it is time to study.

*sigh*

oh december....

my christmas spirit is being seriously threatened by fear, boydrama, jealousy, fatigue, confusion, expectations, disappointments

and right now, the hugest migraine ever.

"how do you cope when the one........ and there's nothing you can do about..... i gotta take it, though its heartbreaking, it's something that i have to do. but nobody said that it would hurt so bad"

good times*

who needs alcohol when you have weird friends??? bahaha...
here are the quotable of the day...

miss laura sato (gets her own section!!! lol)
[Today, we decided to go to the mall. Determined to buy black nail polish, she finds some at zellers. As we're heading over to pay for it laura starts vigourously shakingggg the nail polish.]

laura: hear that???
jasy: ... uhhh....
laura: THAT is the sound of happiness in a bottle!!


[Later on tonight laura, janna, jo, kat, and i went to Fox and the Fiddle for dinner =) we sit down and there are these coasters that say "YOUR LUCK HAS COME IN"]

laura: your luck has come in!! *stare*
jasy: ... uhhhh why?
laura: because you're sitting next to me!!!
[turns to kat whose sitting across from her] kat, your luck has come in!!!


... i can't find the picture for this one... but its the best one in my opinion.
[i dont' even exactly know what happened but all of a sudden laur jsut goes...]
laura: .... do i look like a WAR AMP!!?!
jasy:.... KAT'S A WAR AMP!!!!!!
kat: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
laura: no .. no i meant... UGHHHHH i didn't mean...
kat: STOP MAKING FUN OF MY DISABILITy!!!!!!

ok i'll stop targetting laura now =P ... other interesting things that happened this evening...

trying to "un-hot" janna

i think we actually spent a good 20 min laughing non-stop while trying to get janna to take a pic where it looks like she has a double chin. it's THAT HARD. bahahhaa

janna: ........... MY NECK HURTS!!!

yes jannamae, it must be really hard being so hot ... hahaha ;) jk jk jk...

kat says: awww janna your earrings are so gorgeous. i want some. ..... but they wouldn't match my FACE!!


jo feels naked

jo feels naked without her orange. lol lol


howww.... attractive!!




so much love just-a-goin-around
my (ex)roomie kat .. is just moving along the family tree!!! >=( (like jennifer aniston's new movie!!!) at one time she was MY girlfriend but then abandoned me for my MOTHER (aka laura) ... i am unsure of their current status at the moment as kat was making passes at my STEPMOMMY (aka janna) tonight. quit hitting on my maternal figures you slut!!! haha ;)
alllll through the night.. kat was playing footsies with everrrryyyyyone... at one point i think joanna was playing footsies with janna.... and ... annd...


we are just one messed up love polygon haha =P
thankkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks ladies =) ... i had a fun giggle-filled day. MUCH, MUCH, needed. =) MY LUCK HAS COME IN.

nicole the waitress says: are you guys celebrating something?

why YES! we're celebrating SEEING eachother =) ... *good times.*

DIBS!!!!!!!

clara and i were talking about wedding stuff and she was showing me a colour theme on thsi xanga site ANYWAYS... the person was talking on the xanga abotu how it would be so cool to rent a PHOTOBOOTH for a wedding so that guests can take pics of themselves as souvenirs or you could keep them and [put them in an album!!!

is that not ingenious? ... and soooooooooo ME?!?!

well, I AM GETTING A PHOTOBOOTH FOR MY WEDDING(if and when it comes)!

dibs. that's all. hahaha

annnnnnnnnd ACTION.

if i can kill habits people CAN'T see, and i know i can, then why shouldn't i be able to do the same with things in the open?
in highschool, i had a confidence and determination about me. i TORE through things with passion and determination, despite costs. despite fear of disappointment. joanna thinks this confidence has just been "put to the side" ... and i'm gonna prove her right. and for once, prove others wrong.

(for the record, i'm writing this down because it'll be harder for me to run away from it if its up in writing.)

here we GO.
in order to deal with my problems i must find constructive alternatives to the DESTRUCTIVE things i do. beucase the root of my problems is, well, running.
and my running has become destructive.

alison said a few weeks ago; "you do so much running emotionally, you should do some physically instead!"
so i'm gonna run. well, i'm gonna excercise. mondays and wednesdays hitting up cif at around 10 am.

i am going to stay away from what i need to stay away from until christmas. after that, whenever i am faced with what tempts me, i'm gonna pray. afterall, maybe that's the solution in finding the balance between my own effort and trusting God. just asking for his help when it seems more than i can bear. i know that often, when i'm about to give into my temptations, i will just push God out of my mind.... but if i always have God in my mind and heart, then how can i fall?

and how will i remember? by telling the people who i actually DO those things with to remind me. instead of the people who might not be there anyways.

*breathes out*.

second cup christmas


i've been craving second cup alllll week ever sincei saw a girl in my english class with the cup. i love the cup its so festive!! i honestly just wanted second cup so i could get the cup. anyways yay for cindy she came with me to second cup after ccf haha and i got a caramel coretto MMM =9 so worth the wait. and now i ahve the cup too =)

haha

---tonight while at christy's playing mj/poker---

cindy: have you seen the posters in my FACE??

clara: i don't even OWN a green shirt!!!! (everyone looks at the green shirt she's wearing)

clara: his short is sticker than mine!! (irt sam's hockey stick being shorter than hers)

---while heading out to the cab with jo, kat, and carson---
kat slips and falls on her butt.
[we get into the cab]
carson: hahhahahaha kat that was so funny when you fell!
cab driver: ........ YOU didnt' see her LEGS! they were kicking like THIS [moves hands in rapid circular motion]

*post it* ... maril said something to me at 5am yesterday and we were both laughing SO hard but i forget it. i just wanna remind myself to ask her.

when stupid things happen it makes life lighter. =)

expect nothing.

that way, you'll never be disappointed.

i am never getting excited about ANYTHING ever again.

good times at dc

the food nazi
miss jessica sit kills me hahaha... we had lunch with carson and dev today at bubbletease and jess didnt' finish her meal so she packs it to go, planning to eat it for dinner. later on, she comes to dc to study carrying the box.
so there's this new rule this year after the renovation that hot food isn't allowed in the library... so the attendant lady spots jess's box and says in a rude voice "that's not allowed in the library!! get it out of here!!!" so jess leaves and stands outside of the library thinking for five minutes on how to get the food into the library. she dind't want to risk putting it in her bag and having the lady check it ... so she gets her friend who's on their way to an exam to bring her bag in for her hahahahhaa...

later that night, jess wants to eat so she asks me to go to mc with her to microwave her food. thinking that the lady would be done her shift by then considering its been a few hours, she puts the food in her bag and we walk towards the door. JUST OUR LUCK-- the same woman is STILL guarding the door hahahaha so jess RUNS back and gets her coat and makes ME carry the box with the coat over top of it. hahhaahaha so here i am carrying this styrofoam box under a coat like a criminal hahaha i was SO scared the attendant was gonna stop me hahaha but we made it out unscathed! it was like smuggling an illegal immigrant across the border or something hahahahaa

we laughed all the way from dc to the microwaves =)

chicken dinner
chicken dinner is some good stuff especially when shared with some of your favourite people. chris, dev, emzhei, marilyn, and i went to get chicken dinner tonight and laughed our butts off aboutthe most random things such as really tall asian girl t.a.'s and we ate rice pudding just like last year. i felt like we should be getting upand walking back to rev but no such luck (obviously)...

chris, dev, maril and i also decided that we are GOING TO CUBA in april!!!!! we're planning to invite all the sA girls ... *crosses fingers* ... but if people won't come we are STILL going!!! planning starts tomorrow!!! *whheeee!*