Quiet Time (aka Playing Hooky)

So, I should really be in ccf bible study right now. (I know I'm going to regret stating that in a couple days... but oh well.) But I realized as I passed this computer lab that I have no idea where MC1056 is. And furthermore, this is one of the few moments I've even begun to entertain the idea of sitting and writing to sort my thoughts out.

It's been a heavy week to say the least.

I feel like I'm drowning in everything-- work, church, ccf, etc, etc... and I'm not saying this to be dramatic, nor do I mean that things are emotionally turbulent.

I'm just BUSY. And the busyness is getting stressf...overwhelming. I'm reaching "shut down mode".

I didn't get it when I first started writing this post. In my mind admist all the questions and worries and tasks and agendas, was the frustrating question-- "Why am I freaking out? and why isn't God handling this?? I've been spending time in prayer. I've been lifting things up to Him. So what's the problem?!"

And then God zapped my ipod (haha) and I realize that maybe it's because in my prayer time, it hasn't been "quiet time". It hasn't been a time of true trust and reliance. It's just been me shooting questions at God and asking for this and asking for that when really I should just be resting in His presence, having TRUE faith that He's in control.

Check it out:

"Find rest my soul in Christ alone. Know His power in quietness and trust.

When the oceans rise and thunders roar, I will soar with you above the storm.
Father you are King over the flood.

I will be still and know you are God."

I.Y.Q.

Who needs boys when you have pounds of alcoholic icing, chocolate cake, and crazy friends?

iLove.

Baby number 2 came! :)

(It's sad how much easier it is to love things than people.

I get so frustrated.

Sometimes I'm pretty sure this whole trying to mimic Christ's love thing is totally in vain because I fail 9 times out of 10. But then I see how things would be so much better if everyone just could.

I want to see and hear people through His eyes... but maybe I have too much pride and darkness clouding my vision.

How is it that the God of the universe could love everyone enough to die the most gruesome death for us, yet I, a less than successful university student who has contributed basically nothing to the world at large can consider herself above loving certain people?)

my tiger my heart

I was looking for music for Kat and re-sparked my love for The Boy Least Likely To.

...pure revived love: http://www.theboyleastlikelyto.co.uk

Watch this and you will love them too:


Then go to their website and do fun, time-wasting things such as this:

Let's find a motto you'll like for the rest of your life.

This weekend, KarWai helped me make my decision to buy an 8gb RED ipod nano.

This should be easy enough right?

Nope!

Turns out, if you purchase your ipod online, they allow you a free two line engraving. At first I thought, great! I get to write something on my ipod for free! I have a million song lyrics I love to engrave on there.

Problem? I have a million song lyrics I love to engrave on there!

I needed to find something:
1. Not by a lame artist whose words I will be ashamed to have engraved on my ipod.
2. Related to music since it is my ipod.
3. A song I will continue to like in the years to come.

After much brainstorming and consulting with (not really very helpful) friends, I've decided on the following engraving:

'well all i got's: oo-oo-ooh'
[ jasy's ipod ]

Before you tell me how that makes no sense, let me explain!

The quote is taken from John Mayer's song Clarity. The song talks about living in the moment, being worried about over analyzing things, and at the end of the day only being able to really think of music-- all which are pretty relevant to me. Artist I like, song I like. Check. Check.

Basically it's saying "all I can think of is music". Which is true! I thought about it for so long but all I got was this song or that song. Plus, I always have a song in my head. Which is related to music and hence the ipod.

Now all there is to do is shell out the $200 bucks and be ipod-less no longer.

change my heart oh God:
make it ever true.

change my heart oh God:
may I be like you.

you are the potter
I am the clay--

mold me and make me; this is what I pray.

Invisibility cloak.... or not.

This seriously happened. No tall tales, no exaggerations.

So I'm watching the Wine Kone on youtube and reach a funny part, so I run to the next room to tell my sister to come watch it.

My parents' room is down a short hallway so that our doors kind of face each other, but aren't directly in front of each other.

For some reason I turn around briefly, and out of the corner of my eye see something in the open crack of their door. So I do a double take and there's my mother with one eye pressed against the edges of the tiny opening of the doorway.

I stare. And she does nothing.

So I burst out laughing and I'm like "WHAT are you doing???!"

"Jong gun lay loh." (Spying on you.)

10 minutes doubled over in laughter later, I tell this story.

Stoic

Take time to realize that I am on your side-- didn't I, didn't I tell you?

No I can't spell it out for you.
No it's never going to be that simple.
No I can't spell it out for you.



(realize : colbie caillat)

This Year's Starting Trends : Part 1

Games.

So generally, I don't really enjoy games.
I'm just not a very competitive person and I end up feeling tension whether I win or lose.

There's enough tension in life as it is-- why add to it by playing dorky games when there are about a million other things to do to better entertain myself?

Unfortunately, 2008 is continuing 2007's track record of seeking out every opportunity to spite me:

I have not only been playing games (finding 3 I actually enjoy), but I have also actually purchased two for myself!

I am officially a happy loser addicted to Apples to Apples, Whoonu, and Hoopla (although I didn't purchase this last one).

Hey, at least I'm becoming more... open-minded? *shrug*

Hello 2008

blog at least once a week
clean and redecorate my room before march
attend church on sundays
reaquaint myself with my sketchbook and paints
start an online comic

The list isn't finished yet.

So, it's 2008 and my cow is safely back with me. That's a good start at least.

Seriously. 2008 had better kick 2007's butt.

---

But it's my heart thats breaking down this long distance line tonight.

(My first "I can't get enough of it" song of '08 is Missing You by Tyler Hilton -- the video is Tyler Hilton with Taylor Swift but the original is really good too.)



And I ain't missing you at all
Since you've been gone... away
I ain't missing you
No matter what I might say

There's a message in the wires
And I'm sending you a signal tonight
You don't know how desperate I've become
And it looks like I'm losing this fight

But it's my heart that's breaking, down this long dusty road of mine

And I ain't missing you at all
Since you've been gone... away
I ain't missing you
No matter what my friends say

And there's a message that I'm sending out
Like a telegraph to your soul
If I can't bridge this distance
Stop this heartache overload

A Fragmented Version of the "Hols" Thus Far

I spent a ridiculous amount of money this year. but I think it was worth it.

I like being with the old-time churchies and I haven't gotten sick of them yet, even though they've probably gotten sick of moi! ;)

My mom's in China with my sick grandma so I feel a bit guilty for all the fun I've been having.

I saw Juno and it was as good as I thought it would be!

I've got green, apple-scented glitter on my hands.

I watched the entire first season of The Hills today.

My thoughts have often been in an English accent. (And even as I write this!)

I know I'm getting more and more lame as this blog progresses.

Oh! Oh!--- I'm learning to COOK!
I most definitely made a spinach artichoke dip last night that was a HIT! *Flourishing bow (and a ty to S ;))*

I'm sick. (Sore throat, stuffy nose, light coughing)

AND *dun dun dun dunnnnnnn* I GOT MY COW BACK!

I'd take a picture but I have no camera right now... but my baby and i have been reunited and he's mooing hello to everyone right now. PT found him and gave him back to me and after I finished screaming I realized I could now show him to everyone I've met since the start of university-- it's really been four years! He has so many people to meet! Uncle Matthew thinks I should get him a sweater so he can have a "new look". LOL

Ok, I'm done wasting everyone's time. Back to making New Year's resolutions. Turrah!

I want to see this!!

Thoughts On Recent Lousy Decisions Made Not by Me.

Most positive things I've learned about being a Christian and being a member of a church come from the guidance and leadership of my pastor.

The two greatest commandments God gives Christians are:
1. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind.
2. Love your neighbor as yourself.

Pastor Tim has always demonstrated these things to me. Anyone who is a member of KWCAC's English Congregation would know that PT encourages his congregation to seek after an understanding of God's heart through His Word and worshipping Him with your life. But MORE importantly, in my opinion, a pastor leads not by words, but by EXAMPLE. And PT has not only demonstrated his OWN fervent chase after God but he has UNrelentlessly LOVED and SERVED his congregation as himself. Sometimes better than himself. He takes the time to know people and nurture not only their spiritual needs but their physical and emotional ones too. I think that's what God means by loving someone as yourself. You'd take care of all your own needs. And true love, that's doing your best to fulfill those needs in others.

To some people, helping fix someone's computer or hosting five giggling 17 yr old girls' prom night or driving out in the winter to help someone fix a flat tire or handing out kleenexes while someone bawls their eyes out may not be the conventional work of a pastor. But in my opinion-- I only HOPE that there are other pastors who demonstrate the same love Jesus did. Because getting up on a bloody pulpit on Sundays and filling out paper work and doing set visitations? That isn't enough. And that's NOT what Jesus did either.

I hope certain people take the time to remember that Jesus was also less than conventional.

I know I'm not exactly the model Christian, but because of PT, I do understand what living out Christ's love means.

And it is a crying shame that the future generations of students passing through Waterloo won't get to experience God's love and care through him anymore.

I had quite a few more strongly worded and, honestly speaking, angry thoughts to share. But really, it doesn't matter whether or not I think certain decisions were made correctly or handled correctly by whom, etc etc etc. Because what's done is done.

The important thing is to recognize the significance of the past 15 years of ministry my pastor and my friend, has contributed in his service to God and the people of KWCAC.

What do you do when you recieve terrible news?

Step 1 is, of course, denial.

No. That can't be right. Read it again......ok, it's still true.

Step 2. I generally sit frozen in place for some time, muttering profanities and researching ridiculous plans of action such as how much it would cost me to fly to some random place in the US and assume a new identity.

Step 3. Call someone I trust loves me. It has to be someone who loves me kindly. It can't be someone who will say "Well you should have seen this coming" or "Well, it's your own fault this happened, you know". Because it's still too early at this point to be reasonable.

Step 4. Repeat Step 2, but add in some depressing music.

Step 5. Luckily, at this point, my best friend arrives with the best step of all-- comfort food! and in this case, it came in the form of Black Cherry Icecream, Kraft Dinner Mac and Cheese, and Ristorante Pizza. Mmmmmmm Mmmmm!

Step 6. Escape to some happy place and do happy things while gorging on your comfort food with a few of your favourite people and refuse to think about the problem for the rest of the night-- thus reducing likelihood of a minor stroke.

Step 7. Which may come a short (or long) while after Step 6 is when you actually have to start thinking about things. I rarely have any say over what happens in this step. The only thing I can do is "sum foo cup". Deep breath. Here goes nothing.

It Went Right!

Every mission needs a period of "working up to it". So Kat and I stopped off at the mall for a bit for some fuel.
I had my first big mac in ages and Kat got some padthai in the cutest little take out box!

This winter's choice beverage is the Candycane Hot Chocolate from Second Cup. It's both delicious and festive looking. I was tempted to buy a cannister of it to make at home.... but I didn't because of my mounting credit card bill. Oops!

We shopped for a little while and then took off to the newly privatized transportation license place where I got THIS:



My road test (aka d-day) is now officially on January 10th at 2:35pm.

I advise everyone to clear the roads on that day.

HEY YOU! GO RIGHT!

"I don't have a whole lot of excuses for what's gone wrong with my life, she said. But the ones I do have are really good." - Brian Andreas

Life lately, seems like a succession of failures and mishaps. Mostly mishaps really. Large ones. One after an another, after another...

Today I am going to the ministry of transportation to figure out this whole blasted drivers license mess.

This next thing had better go right.

Waiting

December's banner is coming-- I have an idea, but my camera is out of batteries and I can't find the charger.

In the meantime, check out this song, You Give Me Something by James Morrison-- song of the week! Marie Digby does a pretty good cover of it too, but I went with the original:



"Please give me something, cuz someday I might know my heart."

I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name.

She said: you don't know me, you don't wear my chains.

Boston by Augustana

I think I'll go to Boston,
I think that I'm just tired
I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...
I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,
I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah



Essential yet appealed: carry all your thoughts across an open field.

Big girls don't cry.

La la da daaaaa.... it's 9 in the morning...

Clamping on the bit.

I think I'm so tired, I'm not. If that makes sense.

It scares me how many people are at the library at 9 am. But at least I still got a computer. *Muttering* Stupid laptop.

Um, correction: Stupid me.

Large half hotchocolate, half coffee means at least someone's feeling optomitstic.

And now, I'm going to inhale my coffee and get some crap done instead of wasting my early start on meaningless blogs.

"It's time to be a big girl now..."