I've been listening to a lot of Jewel lately, haha. My favourite Jewel song is Life Uncommon, I think. Tied closely with Near You Always.
She says though "Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom. No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from. Fill your lives with love and bravery and you shall leave a life uncommon."
I only really want to be "in" something for as long as it's Healthy, and Happy. If something is going to make me miserable (even if it's self-inflicted), then why keep 'giving it my strength' so to speak?
Comfort food is a brilliant thing. Especially at 3 in the morning.
I mean, really. Who doesn't love a good grilled cheese sandwich? Crispy yet gooey. Flavorful and not uncomfortably heavy, paired with the salty-sweet globbing of ketchup. Plus, Pooja had the ingenius idea to put garlic powder on the cheese. I have not lived up until this moment!
I am so glad to be passionate about my food.
I can't really imagine mechanically feeding myself simply to fulfill a hunger void. To be chubby and happy, is so much better than being skinny IF eating is just a muted task. Of course skinny and eating passionately at the same time.......
Well, that's metabolism. (Dear friend from long ago.)
I have no photograph of this sandwich because it went down my throat in 30 glorious seconds flat.
I spent my morning dealing with necessary unpleasantries(sp?) like Bell and financial stuff, resume revisions and the like. I'll be honest, it's a must, but it's getting me down. Sometimes I feel like no matter what, I'm going to be in this hole. And I've been having a hard time understanding why life just shits on you and shits on you even if you really try hard to be a good person... which really is such a cliched question, but an true one.
Monday decided to provide me with a little lift, though. Kat and I met up and went to Princess Cinema Cafe. If you haven't been there, it's one of my absolute favorite cafes in the city. They serve comforting beverages and bomb paninis, and famed soup. Indie without being cheesy, you know? I had a London Fog and vented about life. Afterward we went to Gen X and I rented Precious and The Princess and the Frog. And then we stopped at the dollar store and Kat bought me various items. Resume tool free for all. :)
It's nice to catch up. And it's nice to know that you have friends/family that have your back, and are willing to pick you up a little once in a while. It feels less lonely for sure.
And now, I'm going to disappear into a night of movie watching and life ignoring! Turrah!
Alison asked me what yogurt cake was this afternoon. And since Fai had just taken the gem out of the oven, I decided to take a few photographs and ask her for the recipe so that people who chance upon this could try it out. It's very simple but moist, and quite delectable.
Cut that delicious thing!
Fai's Yogurt Cake
You will need: - 1/2 cup plain yogurt - 1 cup of white sugar - 1 1/2 cups flour - 2 eggs - 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract - 6 tablespoons butter (do NOT substitute with margerine)
Instructions: 1. Mix yogurt and sugar together 2. Mix in two eggs to the yogurt and sugar 3. Mix in flour 4. Add vanilla extract 5. Melt butter and mix in 6. Bake at 350F for 30min approx. (In a loaf pan or muffin tins.) 7. If you WANT you can pour a syrup over it after it's finished baking, comprised of the juice of three oranges and half a cup of sugar. You can also ice it if you feel like it or whatever.
Personally, I prefer to slather a little margerine on it and I'm good to go! :)
Apparently my primary coloured bedroom primes me to watch Sesame Street on Youtube and chat online instead of actually getting anything done. I capped off at 3 tasks yesterday.
I am serious about this blogging thing! I can't seem to figure out how to get the Blogger comments to appear, since Haloscan has been discontinued, but I'm not too torn up about it.
As far as productivity goes, I have never been a winning contender.
That is going to change.
Today, thus far, I have accomplished 3/11 tasks. The sun is still out. This is good news.
Plus, I'm wearing a neon yellow t-shirt that Alanna got me from NY. And since that is my favorite colour, I'd say it can only mean positive things.
I've decided to blog again! (The Waverly in me smiles confidently.)
Talking to myself, I realized, keeps me focused and less scattered. It makes things more manageable and designates significance to otherwise minor details.
I have a room now. Did I mention? Yes, my very own primary colored bedroom in a little bungalow with a spacious backyard and three lovely roommates. Two of whom cook very well and have fantastic taste in music and are human. What more could a girl ask for, really?
It's helpful make lists of What You Have and What You Can Do, when you're anxious.
This weekend is going to be a productive one!
And I think I might make Korean Glass Noodles if I get the chance!
Right now, I'm going to hop in the shower while it's still the middle of the night.
Rotating bodies, confusion of sound
Negative imagery, holding us down
Social delusion, clearly constructed
Human condition, morals corrupted
Trapped in reaction, lawlessness war
Dissatisfaction from bowels to core
Devil’s technology, strategy for
Human mythologies, urban folklore
Sick of psychology, counterfeit cure
Wicked theology, robbing the poor
Scheme demonology mislead the pure
Strictly strategically studying war
Light shown in darkness, image exposed
Few can see through the new emperor’s clothes
Lustful this hustle turn humans to hoes
When the blind lead the blind
Just more trouble and woes
It’s the mind that they chose
Its designed to stay closed
Standard of jokers, court just a logic
Sick looking cosmics, from schoolyards to college
Primitive man with civilize knowledge
System collapse and he still won’t acknowledge
God is the saviour, studies behavior
Trying to fix the mix mind that he gave ya
Stiff-necked scholars on prescription meds
Wishing their problems were all in their heads
Morale dilemma, pride is the root
Misguided from youth, heart divided from truth
Egyptians and Grecians, spiritually dead
Imperially led, by the gods in their heads
Motives and thoughts
Industrial wealth
Global economy, in it for self
Heart full of madness, covered with kind
Pleasure designed to take over your mind
Furnished in godliness, painted in good
This tainted priesthood got real saints misunderstood
While classes in government, set up the veil
And cultivate minds for more mythical tales
Typical Hollywood follies good girl
While vice and corruption take over the world
Motives and thoughts
Check your motives and thoughts
Blind with the wickedness, deep in your heart
Modern day wickedness is all you’ve been taught
Lied to your neighbors, so you get ahead
Modern day trickery is all you’ve been fed
Motives and thoughts
Check your motives and thoughts
Apparently sharks never sleep and if they stop moving they die. I'm a shark up until maybe 6am every bloody night this week. Besides tonight, because it's 7:30 now and I'm still up. This part is my fault though because I'm here blogging about it instead of actually trying to sleep even though I have a dentist appointment in 3.5 hours. Go me.
I've been entertaining myself well though, through the supposed sleeping hours. I caught up on all my youtube subscriptions. That hasn't happened in a long while. I forgot what a computer-person I can be, because 2009 was pretty low on the computer usage since the pos was broken for the majority of the year. But the guilty satisfaction I get from all my online social networking sites hasn't really worn off that much. I'm admittedly a bit disenchanted by blogging now, but not tonight so you probably don't believe me. I don't love Facebook but it sucks me in once in a while.
Other than watching the 5AG and the Vlog Brothers and Mememolly, I've been perusing lookbook.nu and a bunch of different 'fashion related' blogs. It's really unhealthy to look at fashion when you're as broke and as frivolous with your money as I am.
I also randomly decided to paint my nails. I have my nailpolish in this basket thing under my mirror and I don't have a lamp yet so I went off the light of my monitor and two tealights-- couldn't really see the colour of the nailpolish I grabbed properly, so yay! I'm going to wake up to surprise-colour, poorly done nailpolish in 3 hours. I felt phartsy about it so here are some pictures.
you say I only hear what I want to. you say I talk so all the time so.
and I thought what I felt was simple, and I thought that I don't belong, and now that I am leaving, now I know that I did something wrong 'cause I missed you. yeah, I missed you.
and you say I only hear what I want to: I don't listen hard, I don't pay attention to the distance that you're running or to anyone, anywhere, I don't understand if you really care, I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no.
so I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up, and this woman was singing my song: the lover's in love, and the other's run away, the lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay.
some of us hover when we weep for the other who was dying since the day they were born. well, this is not that: I think that I'm throwing, but I'm thrown.
and I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure.
you try to tell me that I'm clever, but that won't take me anyhow, or anywhere with you.
you said that I was naive, and I thought that I was strong. I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave." but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you.
you said, "You caught me 'cause you want me and one day you'll let me go." "you try to give away a keeper, or keep me 'cause you know you're just so scared to lose. and you say, "stay."
I'm at the PO office waiting for checks. and later I'm ending canvasing early so I can come back to the office to do other admin stuff. It's pretty fabulous especially today because I'm inexplicably exhausted.
Tom Petty's Won't Back Down was playing in my cab this morning! The driver turned it up for me. Awesome guy.
Man, the one downside to sitting here waiting for these checks is that there is no coffee. and this morning it is necessary.
Working two jobs is tiring. But it's going to be worth it in a few months. It will.
Public Outreach is pretty cool-- besides standing outside all day (which actually hasn't been that bad given the nice weather we've been having) -- it's nice to fundraise for something I actually care about (Amnesty International). The call centre seems really warm in contrast now at nights too! And tomorrow we're going to Stratford. Hometown canvasing. Should be nice.
Plus I'm getting more hours at the good ol' call centre
Space We're getting a house! It has a giant backyard and sweet patio. And I will have a room. And Pooja is going to make me a tire swing.
Everytime I think about how much it sucks to work so much-- I just think of the tireswing and know that everything is going to be Okay.
"Paul Baribeau took me to the giant tire swing Gave me a push and he started singing I sang along while I was swinging The sound of our voices made us forget everything That had ever hurt our feelings"
I got the job I interviewed for. It's for Public Outreach which is this place where you stand on the street and fundraise for different organizations-- specifically Amnesty International and Green Peace at the moment.
Training starts today. Luckily it's only going to be for a few hours but this week it's going to be working at Public Outreach, and then immediate going to the call centre after.
Ah well. Girl's gotta do....
One good thing though-- I found this KW Society of Artists that meets monthly. I'm going to the meeting tonight. I'm hoping it'll be a good networking/learning opportunity. :)
