ok, so now i wish i was back in t.o./sauga
i hate the 519. maybe it's just not wanting to be where there are expectations. thats' why i didn't want to go to toronto this wknd... dreading people and their expectations.
and now i'm back in waterloo and i'm just... i dunno. trying to hide away?...
i feel so anti-social it's weird. maybe it's pms or maybe the "social butterfly" has hidden away for good. i just ...dont' want to make any effort at all. i dont' want to pretend like i'm happy to see people if i'm not. and i don't want to talk to people about "what's been going on" ... there is nothing to tell. and even if there was. i don't feel like telling people useless facts about my life for the time that they were absent.
i had such a good weekend thoughhhh ... had spring rolls TWICE. went to hollister THREE times. saw bee, went to 'mean girls mall' with mamalaura, KREAZELESS reunited (which pretty much never ever happens), tried indian food, got sunglasses* from h&m hehe, anddddd had street meat!...
and then we drove into loo and i wanted to hide away.
(&watch cruel intentions && call jannamae)
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Friday, April 28, 2006
between the goodbyes and hellos and the lazyness and the business
it's all kind of just blurry
it's like practically nothing is significant enough to put down into words
i just don't really care about much lately...?
(well) i did get an interview for wednesday so that's nice
and i'm on an escape to the toronto this weekend... although right about now i'm not sure if i'd rather just stay home... (and drive around and around and around a parking lot under the stars)
but at least i get to see doraaaaa! :)
"nothing to prove, cuz it's you and me (and all of the people)"
it's all kind of just blurry
it's like practically nothing is significant enough to put down into words
i just don't really care about much lately...?
(well) i did get an interview for wednesday so that's nice
and i'm on an escape to the toronto this weekend... although right about now i'm not sure if i'd rather just stay home... (and drive around and around and around a parking lot under the stars)
but at least i get to see doraaaaa! :)
"nothing to prove, cuz it's you and me (and all of the people)"
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
stalker?
i'm pretty sure someone thinks i'm stalking him. but i'm honestly, truly not.
He knows who i am, i'm sure of it. the way he looks at me in recognition, that ability to acknowledge someone but wait- you _don't_ actually know eachother. 'How is this possible?' you may ask-- i'm ashamed to say it but... facebook. he knows me from facebook. we have 8 friends in common and i'm pretty sure we know eachother's names. or maybe i just know his because he also ran for feds.
anyways... i always see him on campus. i ran into him at the movies the other day. i was standing behind him in line for yogen fruz. he looked at me as if to say something and then looked away. and then it was just awkward. and thennnn yesterday i was at dc and he was at the computer behind me and he kind of gave me this weird look.
so i'm pretty sure he thinks i'm following him. and i'm not. so i'm not sure whether to find this hilarious or be embaressed. :P
i'm pretty sure someone thinks i'm stalking him. but i'm honestly, truly not.
He knows who i am, i'm sure of it. the way he looks at me in recognition, that ability to acknowledge someone but wait- you _don't_ actually know eachother. 'How is this possible?' you may ask-- i'm ashamed to say it but... facebook. he knows me from facebook. we have 8 friends in common and i'm pretty sure we know eachother's names. or maybe i just know his because he also ran for feds.
anyways... i always see him on campus. i ran into him at the movies the other day. i was standing behind him in line for yogen fruz. he looked at me as if to say something and then looked away. and then it was just awkward. and thennnn yesterday i was at dc and he was at the computer behind me and he kind of gave me this weird look.
so i'm pretty sure he thinks i'm following him. and i'm not. so i'm not sure whether to find this hilarious or be embaressed. :P
Sunday, April 16, 2006
did i mention i'm done? :P
finished finals on tuesday and since then have been joyfully bumming around.
i went to Oasis the other day with kat and that was pretty cool so i think i'm going to volunteer there over the summer. just have to go in for the training sessions.
also, the other day, anna and i went to waterloo park and played guitar under the sun and blue sky ... it was really nice even though i suck at guitar to be able to spend a bit of time with anna and just relax in the beautiful spring weather. and marilyn came up to visit that night! and emz maril kat and i went to morty's .. mmm wings my happiest nighttime food. <3
and then on friday mel and lue got baptised! congrats! and we had lunch at thai viet and even though i dont' like the food, it was nice to be able to chill with kat alice steph and mel and the rest of ccf who was at kwcac for good friday.
tonight amanda kat and i went to see v for vendetta and it was awesome. dora was right about alot of good quotes. but i'm also a little disturbed. everytime i watch movies like that it makes me question the truth in what we percieve the world to be. and uncertainty like that makes me feel so unsafe.
anwyays-- it's EASTER. a time to remember. becca emailed out this quote that i really love. it kind of explains one of the reasons why i'm such a camera whore. :P
"Memory implies a certain act of redemption. What is remembered has been saved from nothingness. What is forgotten has been abandoned. If all events are seen, instantaneously, outside time, by a supernatural eye, the distinction between remembering and forgetting is transformed into an act of judgment, into the rendering of justice, whereby recognition is close to being remembered, and condemnation is close to being forgotten. Such a presentiment, extracted from man's long, painful experience of time, is to be found in varying forms in almost every culture and religion, and, very clearly, in Christianity." (John Berger, "Uses of Photography", p58)
anyhow, it may not be through photograph, but through the distinction of a DAY, that causes the world to remember the death and resurrection of Christ--- really, it is remembering the biggest, craziest, most unique love of all time and how it SAVED the world. Not that this shoud not be remembered daily, or without a holiday, i'm just saying that easter pushes this to where it shoudl be-- the focus.
and in remembering today, i hope i can also remember how to be grateful.
sorry for my rambling... sleepy time. gnite*
finished finals on tuesday and since then have been joyfully bumming around.
i went to Oasis the other day with kat and that was pretty cool so i think i'm going to volunteer there over the summer. just have to go in for the training sessions.
also, the other day, anna and i went to waterloo park and played guitar under the sun and blue sky ... it was really nice even though i suck at guitar to be able to spend a bit of time with anna and just relax in the beautiful spring weather. and marilyn came up to visit that night! and emz maril kat and i went to morty's .. mmm wings my happiest nighttime food. <3
and then on friday mel and lue got baptised! congrats! and we had lunch at thai viet and even though i dont' like the food, it was nice to be able to chill with kat alice steph and mel and the rest of ccf who was at kwcac for good friday.
tonight amanda kat and i went to see v for vendetta and it was awesome. dora was right about alot of good quotes. but i'm also a little disturbed. everytime i watch movies like that it makes me question the truth in what we percieve the world to be. and uncertainty like that makes me feel so unsafe.
anwyays-- it's EASTER. a time to remember. becca emailed out this quote that i really love. it kind of explains one of the reasons why i'm such a camera whore. :P
"Memory implies a certain act of redemption. What is remembered has been saved from nothingness. What is forgotten has been abandoned. If all events are seen, instantaneously, outside time, by a supernatural eye, the distinction between remembering and forgetting is transformed into an act of judgment, into the rendering of justice, whereby recognition is close to being remembered, and condemnation is close to being forgotten. Such a presentiment, extracted from man's long, painful experience of time, is to be found in varying forms in almost every culture and religion, and, very clearly, in Christianity." (John Berger, "Uses of Photography", p58)
anyhow, it may not be through photograph, but through the distinction of a DAY, that causes the world to remember the death and resurrection of Christ--- really, it is remembering the biggest, craziest, most unique love of all time and how it SAVED the world. Not that this shoud not be remembered daily, or without a holiday, i'm just saying that easter pushes this to where it shoudl be-- the focus.
and in remembering today, i hope i can also remember how to be grateful.
sorry for my rambling... sleepy time. gnite*
Sunday, April 09, 2006
two thirds
took a BREAK today after my pacs final and went out for dinner with everyone for carson's bday (happy20th!carsnooo!) @ mcginnis =) ... good timess... a nice break from studying definitely! pics: mouse over to see description
on the other hand
i don't know what's wrong with me.. it hink i'm just mentally and physically exhausted? i jsut feel so down. every single little thing is getting to me. thank goodness for starbucks* and mae. but i'm just sitting around brooding. at least i can afford to do so tonight! and then tomorrow-- back to the books *sigh*
blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! on EVERYONE AND EVERYTHINGGGGGG!
"well I have handed all my efforts in, I searched here for my second wind, 'Is there someone here to let me in?' I asked. So I slammed the doors they slammed at me..."
took a BREAK today after my pacs final and went out for dinner with everyone for carson's bday (happy20th!carsnooo!) @ mcginnis =) ... good timess... a nice break from studying definitely! pics: mouse over to see description
on the other hand
i don't know what's wrong with me.. it hink i'm just mentally and physically exhausted? i jsut feel so down. every single little thing is getting to me. thank goodness for starbucks* and mae. but i'm just sitting around brooding. at least i can afford to do so tonight! and then tomorrow-- back to the books *sigh*
blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! on EVERYONE AND EVERYTHINGGGGGG!
"well I have handed all my efforts in, I searched here for my second wind, 'Is there someone here to let me in?' I asked. So I slammed the doors they slammed at me..."
Thursday, April 06, 2006
one third
the man of the moment is E.P. Taylor.
becuase i was able to identify him and describe his historical significance.
after the final laura and i just sat there FREAKING out about how we only RECOGNIZED 4 out of the 10 terms of which we need to i&s 6 of them. and then kat came out and we went to eat mikey's. honestly sesame chicken makes everything better. who the heck is william price anyways? IS he the airplane man? we shall never know.
you know what though? it's times like those - even in the midst of finals- that make me not want this term to end. i'm gonna miss our randomness.
the man of the moment is E.P. Taylor.
becuase i was able to identify him and describe his historical significance.
after the final laura and i just sat there FREAKING out about how we only RECOGNIZED 4 out of the 10 terms of which we need to i&s 6 of them. and then kat came out and we went to eat mikey's. honestly sesame chicken makes everything better. who the heck is william price anyways? IS he the airplane man? we shall never know.
you know what though? it's times like those - even in the midst of finals- that make me not want this term to end. i'm gonna miss our randomness.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
dp9th day 2
characters: me kat jess carson and pat(at dinner) (oh! and laur through the window lol)
dp is:
- the mystery game lol
- fooooooooodies
- "loud whisper" giggling
- kinkysex? HAHA but mamalaura says "keep it out of the family" ... so we know where kat's going with THAT. ; )
- 2hr dinners everydayyyyy
- girltalk*
characters: me kat jess carson and pat(at dinner) (oh! and laur through the window lol)
dp is:
- the mystery game lol
- fooooooooodies
- "loud whisper" giggling
- kinkysex? HAHA but mamalaura says "keep it out of the family" ... so we know where kat's going with THAT. ; )
- 2hr dinners everydayyyyy
- girltalk*
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
dp?
well i'm at DP with kat jess emz and anj and i think i may have chosen my finals study location for this term-- ninth floor? well, i might switch floors but who knows... i like this better than TC and it's not as crowded as slc...
the weather is just ridiculous.
yesterday: sunny! then 5 min later pouring rain... then five minutes later sunny ... and another spell of rain another 5 min later
today: cloudy... 5 min later light snow... 5 min later cloudy... 5 min later BLIZZARD... cloudy... blizzard... cloudy.... blizzard... SUNNY????
8 days ... 8 days.
well i'm at DP with kat jess emz and anj and i think i may have chosen my finals study location for this term-- ninth floor? well, i might switch floors but who knows... i like this better than TC and it's not as crowded as slc...
the weather is just ridiculous.
yesterday: sunny! then 5 min later pouring rain... then five minutes later sunny ... and another spell of rain another 5 min later
today: cloudy... 5 min later light snow... 5 min later cloudy... 5 min later BLIZZARD... cloudy... blizzard... cloudy.... blizzard... SUNNY????
8 days ... 8 days.
april-- one year later. (gawd i miss "you")
here's my "things that are spring" list:
1. funinthesun with 210/214-- 040405 when janna laura kat and i ran outside and took about a mazillion pictures dancing around, making shadows, sitting on picnic tables making fishfaces, and of our reflections in the door... it was sunny.
2. taking randomshmandom walks outside
3. fliss beeee 032905-- me jo maril dev quyen aneta playing frisbee in the south quad and tossing it over the creek trying to see if it would go all the way acrosss lol
4. "i'm just a dreamer i dream my life away"(its a secret.)
5. strawberry daquiris 040605-- some bad stuff happened and the day after me and bee went to eastsides and split a strawberry daquiri and things were happy.
6. "studying" 041005 -- spring means finals but last year me jo and kat studied outside slc on a round concrete thingy that a tree grows out of and pretty much got nothing done that day =)
7. you are the reflection in my sunglasses*041105 -- to make studying outside better, alison and i went to aussies and got sunglasses*. hers were normal but mine were ridICULously large and buglike and i paid sixbucks for them because, you know, fun is priceless. =)
here's my "things that are spring" list:
1. funinthesun with 210/214-- 040405 when janna laura kat and i ran outside and took about a mazillion pictures dancing around, making shadows, sitting on picnic tables making fishfaces, and of our reflections in the door... it was sunny.
2. taking randomshmandom walks outside
3. fliss beeee 032905-- me jo maril dev quyen aneta playing frisbee in the south quad and tossing it over the creek trying to see if it would go all the way acrosss lol
4. "i'm just a dreamer i dream my life away"(its a secret.)
5. strawberry daquiris 040605-- some bad stuff happened and the day after me and bee went to eastsides and split a strawberry daquiri and things were happy.
6. "studying" 041005 -- spring means finals but last year me jo and kat studied outside slc on a round concrete thingy that a tree grows out of and pretty much got nothing done that day =)
7. you are the reflection in my sunglasses*041105 -- to make studying outside better, alison and i went to aussies and got sunglasses*. hers were normal but mine were ridICULously large and buglike and i paid sixbucks for them because, you know, fun is priceless. =)
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