annoyed
i've been in toronto for the past four days just hanging out and seeing people. (since 95 percent of my friends live in the gta ..) For the most part its been a blast as usual...
however. i came on here to rant because i'm just really mad and i donm't know how to express it. i have difficulty actually TELLING the person that i'm upset because.. why bother if they dont' even seem to care how their actions affect me in the first place. i made plans to meet up with someone yesterday (thursday) at 10 a.m. Mind you, they picked the time. if you know me, you know i'm not a morning person.,.. i was also up late but i was up and ready in time. at 11 a.m. the person still hadn't called. so i was alittle worried so i call and they dont' answer the phone. so i'm like ok fine. so i just go out. and then at around 3:30 in the afternoon i get a call from them saying they slept in. so okay i'm like yeah its totally fine no worries. cuz i guess things happen and although i was a little bit annoyed, i've done stupid things in the past too. so THEN the person is like let's meet up tomorrow (today) instead. i'm like are you suuuure cuz if you're busy or you can't its totally fine. but the person insisted it would be fine and said we shoudl meet at the same time.
so just guess what happened. it is now 12pm and the person has not yet called.
at first i was like maybe i'm being unreasonable but the more i think about it NO. i have a right to be angry. chris tsoi gets mad when ppl are five minutes late haha becuase it just shows that the person has NO respect for me or my time. ALL my friends pretty much live in toronto i could spend my time being with OTHER ppl who actually care. or i could sleep IN!! ... but no.
i just don't think its fair that someone should be able to waste my time TWO DAYS in a row. ... i'm not some little kid anymore willing to wait for hours and hours just to spend two minutes with you. ... ARGH
yow mo gow choh ah!??!!?!
Friday, December 30, 2005
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Friday, December 23, 2005
christmas boos
the holidays so far have been pretty good ... i enjoy being with my family around the holiday season. we amuse eachother and sometimes we have really great conversations. today i spent the entire day with my mother shopping and it was fun =) we had second cup(wheee)and we talked alot especially since my mom refuses to drive on the highway so the drive to and from fairview was pretty long and we had a pretty in depth and interesting conversation. and we had a few laughs too =)
but you know what i am HATING about this christmas?
for ONE thing. it's on SUNDAY. usually, our family "tradition" type thing is we get up around 10 something and my mom makes us this huge brunch with bacon and sausage and eggs and the works, and then we take turns opening presents and we take pics. it's all very picturesque actually. but THIS year, church is at 10/11 which means, in order to do that, we're gonna have to get up at like 7 am. everyone knows i am NOT a happy camper at 7 in the morning. NOR am i photogenic.
and number TWO, apparently, i am just not really a part of my family anymore.
ther'es this whole carolling thing a couple families from my church are doing. pretty much, asked my parents and my sister to be in it. my sister has a *special* part. i didn't even KNOW about it until like 1/2hr ago (which btw, its currently 2:00am on december 24th but i just dindt' want to make this my christmas eve post). people just dont' even remember that i'm part of my family anymore. RUDE!!!!
and my family dindt' really bother to tell me about this. they also failed to mention that on christmas we are going over to some family friend's house for dinner.
i guess i can see how my parents might just assume that i dont' want to come or want to know since yeah, i dont' go to alot of these functions anymore
but it's CHRISTMAS for goshsakes. and it hurts.
the holidays so far have been pretty good ... i enjoy being with my family around the holiday season. we amuse eachother and sometimes we have really great conversations. today i spent the entire day with my mother shopping and it was fun =) we had second cup(wheee)and we talked alot especially since my mom refuses to drive on the highway so the drive to and from fairview was pretty long and we had a pretty in depth and interesting conversation. and we had a few laughs too =)
but you know what i am HATING about this christmas?
for ONE thing. it's on SUNDAY. usually, our family "tradition" type thing is we get up around 10 something and my mom makes us this huge brunch with bacon and sausage and eggs and the works, and then we take turns opening presents and we take pics. it's all very picturesque actually. but THIS year, church is at 10/11 which means, in order to do that, we're gonna have to get up at like 7 am. everyone knows i am NOT a happy camper at 7 in the morning. NOR am i photogenic.
and number TWO, apparently, i am just not really a part of my family anymore.
ther'es this whole carolling thing a couple families from my church are doing. pretty much, asked my parents and my sister to be in it. my sister has a *special* part. i didn't even KNOW about it until like 1/2hr ago (which btw, its currently 2:00am on december 24th but i just dindt' want to make this my christmas eve post). people just dont' even remember that i'm part of my family anymore. RUDE!!!!
and my family dindt' really bother to tell me about this. they also failed to mention that on christmas we are going over to some family friend's house for dinner.
i guess i can see how my parents might just assume that i dont' want to come or want to know since yeah, i dont' go to alot of these functions anymore
but it's CHRISTMAS for goshsakes. and it hurts.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Saturday, December 17, 2005
mormon's worst nightmare
doug's farewell dinner at the keg was supposed to be at 6pm. however there was a THREE hour wait, and in the end the dinner got moved to NINE pm instead. kat jo alison carson and i decided to go back to kat's house for the three hour wait.
we were just chilling and eating in kat's dining room/kitchen when alison and i both heard a rattling at the door. "errr i think there's someone at the door" i said. kat approached the door and indicated quite loudly that ther were two men standing outside. "should i open the dooor??!" we all rushed towards the door frantically peering out the side windows at the already baffled looking men. "don't open the door!!!!" "who IS it ??? is it herman???? no... they're white" "carson open the door!" "JUST OPEN THE DOOR!!!!" kat finally opens the door. "HI!" says one of the two smiling guys (in their mid20's or so) "my friend and i are missionaries from our church and..."
anndddddd the dog runs out the door. (fyi kat's family is looking after a friend's little white dog frosty during the holidays)
"OH NOOO!!!!!!!" screams Kat. "I FORGOT I HAD A DOG!!!!" omgomgomgomg everyone's frantic. kat looks at one of the guys as frosty runs past him. "CAN YOU GET HIM FOR ME!!???" The two guys just stand there frozen not knowing what to do. we are all screaming at the dog and at eachother. kat runs around the house trying to find treats and the leash. carson runs out of the house after the dog that he can't see because of his small small eyes "IT"S CAMOUFLAUGeD!!" says carson. joanna runs out on to the snow covered driveway BAREFOOT. (haha typical jo). Kat is screaming "WHERE IS THE LEASH!????!" Alison is repeatedly yelling "HERE! i'm HOLDING IT!!!" but kat doens't hear her for a while.. jo and carson come back in with the dog. "oh thank GOD!!!! omg" "what's WRONG with you frosty????!!!!" "you went out BAREFOOOT!?????!"
silence. "so ANYWAYS! hi!" i say to the guys STILL standing there.
"uhhh hi my friend and i are missionaries from our church... blablabla" Hands us a tract with a candycane attached. "errr... thanks!"
we close the door and laugh hysterically for like 20 min.
we read the tract and found out that they were mormons. hahaha i feel so bad for them hahaha but hopefully we created some err... humour? for them during their manditory evangelism.
doug's farewell dinner at the keg was supposed to be at 6pm. however there was a THREE hour wait, and in the end the dinner got moved to NINE pm instead. kat jo alison carson and i decided to go back to kat's house for the three hour wait.
we were just chilling and eating in kat's dining room/kitchen when alison and i both heard a rattling at the door. "errr i think there's someone at the door" i said. kat approached the door and indicated quite loudly that ther were two men standing outside. "should i open the dooor??!" we all rushed towards the door frantically peering out the side windows at the already baffled looking men. "don't open the door!!!!" "who IS it ??? is it herman???? no... they're white" "carson open the door!" "JUST OPEN THE DOOR!!!!" kat finally opens the door. "HI!" says one of the two smiling guys (in their mid20's or so) "my friend and i are missionaries from our church and..."
anndddddd the dog runs out the door. (fyi kat's family is looking after a friend's little white dog frosty during the holidays)
"OH NOOO!!!!!!!" screams Kat. "I FORGOT I HAD A DOG!!!!" omgomgomgomg everyone's frantic. kat looks at one of the guys as frosty runs past him. "CAN YOU GET HIM FOR ME!!???" The two guys just stand there frozen not knowing what to do. we are all screaming at the dog and at eachother. kat runs around the house trying to find treats and the leash. carson runs out of the house after the dog that he can't see because of his small small eyes "IT"S CAMOUFLAUGeD!!" says carson. joanna runs out on to the snow covered driveway BAREFOOT. (haha typical jo). Kat is screaming "WHERE IS THE LEASH!????!" Alison is repeatedly yelling "HERE! i'm HOLDING IT!!!" but kat doens't hear her for a while.. jo and carson come back in with the dog. "oh thank GOD!!!! omg" "what's WRONG with you frosty????!!!!" "you went out BAREFOOOT!?????!"
silence. "so ANYWAYS! hi!" i say to the guys STILL standing there.
"uhhh hi my friend and i are missionaries from our church... blablabla" Hands us a tract with a candycane attached. "errr... thanks!"
we close the door and laugh hysterically for like 20 min.
we read the tract and found out that they were mormons. hahaha i feel so bad for them hahaha but hopefully we created some err... humour? for them during their manditory evangelism.
snowlove*
for the past few weeks, other than crazy snow attacks when dropping carson off, i couldn't find anyone to play in the snow with me. it made me sad... NICE snow only lasts for so long. and this powdery stuff is perfect for making SNOWANGELS. i asked kat and jo a million times to make snow angels with me and they kept refusing only to make snow angels on like the ONE DAY taht i wasn't with them. needless to say, i was quite disappointed.
then, today-- steph, derek, and i were walking to v1 and i was like to steph "... wanna make snow angels?" and she's like "sure!" and throws her bag on the ground i'm like WHOAAAAAA duddddeeee!!! bahahhaa anyways it was fun =) and derek took pictures :D here's my first official snowangel making of the winter =) :
afterwards, we went to get princess alice and chilled in the cafe with simon ho, kevin (happy, and i forget his other namelol), and nate. there were no pizza fingers *sigh* but i had a spicy chicken wrap and maaaaan oh man it was good. and then went back to alice's room for a bit and just chatted. =) it was a nice break before going back to stUDYing again tomorrow *sigh* (thanks guys =))
(3/4... almost thereee!!!)
for the past few weeks, other than crazy snow attacks when dropping carson off, i couldn't find anyone to play in the snow with me. it made me sad... NICE snow only lasts for so long. and this powdery stuff is perfect for making SNOWANGELS. i asked kat and jo a million times to make snow angels with me and they kept refusing only to make snow angels on like the ONE DAY taht i wasn't with them. needless to say, i was quite disappointed.
then, today-- steph, derek, and i were walking to v1 and i was like to steph "... wanna make snow angels?" and she's like "sure!" and throws her bag on the ground i'm like WHOAAAAAA duddddeeee!!! bahahhaa anyways it was fun =) and derek took pictures :D here's my first official snowangel making of the winter =) :
afterwards, we went to get princess alice and chilled in the cafe with simon ho, kevin (happy, and i forget his other namelol), and nate. there were no pizza fingers *sigh* but i had a spicy chicken wrap and maaaaan oh man it was good. and then went back to alice's room for a bit and just chatted. =) it was a nice break before going back to stUDYing again tomorrow *sigh* (thanks guys =))
(3/4... almost thereee!!!)
Thursday, December 15, 2005
hello random
when i woke up this morning i found $120 on my desk along with my favourite pair of socks (black puma) that i'd lost for a long time.
on my way to narnia
2/4 tonight.. and then 3 tomorrow and thennnnnnnnnnn 4 on monday and NARNIA! *whee*
misplaced
i was so stupid. detach, detach, detach!!... even i need to learn some self defense.
i won't take pride in selfishness though. i'm not going to be ashamed of caring about other people. (granted, sometimes i am the most selfish person you will ever meet) my world does not revolve around "number one", and i don't charge ahead uncaring of the hearts i may be shattering on my way.
MY bit of selfishness? always being afraid that things are "about" me, even when i know full well they aren't. overanalysing. maybe stepping on other people's right NOT to give a damn about me.
so here i protect myself and i protect them from me. i'm waving and i won't cry i single tear.
shhh before you say anything. i think i'm allowed to express myself too.
on that note
It takes little strength to rely on others, moderate strength to rely on yourself, and great strength to let go of that whole strength and pride thing and fall into the arms of God.
current status? still a weakling.
when i woke up this morning i found $120 on my desk along with my favourite pair of socks (black puma) that i'd lost for a long time.
on my way to narnia
2/4 tonight.. and then 3 tomorrow and thennnnnnnnnnn 4 on monday and NARNIA! *whee*
misplaced
i was so stupid. detach, detach, detach!!... even i need to learn some self defense.
i won't take pride in selfishness though. i'm not going to be ashamed of caring about other people. (granted, sometimes i am the most selfish person you will ever meet) my world does not revolve around "number one", and i don't charge ahead uncaring of the hearts i may be shattering on my way.
MY bit of selfishness? always being afraid that things are "about" me, even when i know full well they aren't. overanalysing. maybe stepping on other people's right NOT to give a damn about me.
so here i protect myself and i protect them from me. i'm waving and i won't cry i single tear.
shhh before you say anything. i think i'm allowed to express myself too.
on that note
It takes little strength to rely on others, moderate strength to rely on yourself, and great strength to let go of that whole strength and pride thing and fall into the arms of God.
current status? still a weakling.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
i smell a mystery
hellohello we are at DP ... we, that is, kat and i.
howeverrrrrr...
half an hour ago, kat disappeared from the cubicle behind me. she didn't take her cell phone.
at first i thought she went to the bathroom but after a while... her whereabouts seemed a bit more fishy. i have been trying to solve the mystery with the help of laura janna and joanna.
here's what we've come up with so far.
Q: Where is Kathryn Cheung?
A:
a) she died.
b) she is taking a half hour long crap
c) is really gassy and cant' get up
d) is HIDING (it's a GAME!!!!) hahaha
AHHHHH!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHA she's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and we were wrongggg... the answer to the mystery isssss.... she was practicing typing out her essay questions at the computers!
if you ask me, our solutions to the mystery were far more interesting.
janna says: take your cell phone next time but don't flush it!!!
bahhaaaa
hellohello we are at DP ... we, that is, kat and i.
howeverrrrrr...
half an hour ago, kat disappeared from the cubicle behind me. she didn't take her cell phone.
at first i thought she went to the bathroom but after a while... her whereabouts seemed a bit more fishy. i have been trying to solve the mystery with the help of laura janna and joanna.
here's what we've come up with so far.
Q: Where is Kathryn Cheung?
A:
a) she died.
b) she is taking a half hour long crap
c) is really gassy and cant' get up
d) is HIDING (it's a GAME!!!!) hahaha
AHHHHH!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHA she's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and we were wrongggg... the answer to the mystery isssss.... she was practicing typing out her essay questions at the computers!
if you ask me, our solutions to the mystery were far more interesting.
janna says: take your cell phone next time but don't flush it!!!
bahhaaaa
Monday, December 12, 2005
Sunday, December 11, 2005
why
it is important to know why.
i used to think maybe it wasnt' so important why. that constantly seeking out why was a waste of time, because no matter why, the who what when and where and how would most likely still be that way. therefore, why waste the effort into wondering why ... in a sense, certain things maybe i still dont' feel like questioning...
but there are three things i think are important:
1. why i believe in what i believe
recently someone who i consider to be really strong in their faith started questioning it. and at first i was like omg panic... doubt. is it "horrible"? ... honestly, i dont' think so. maybe its good. sometimes. maybe its good if it causes us to seek out God more and figure out WHY He is who He is. isn't that what He wants after all? for us to SEEK after him? to search for him... and thirst for more? should we be content in what we THINK we know and blindly walk in our naive faith?
i dunno. i can't say i am all theologically correct or know anything really ... but what i believe is that God wants us to have a firm faith, to know his heart and i dunno, if questioning things and digging helps us do that then i'm thinking its a good thing. and i think that if thats' what we're doing, trying to figure out why we believe, trying to REALLy find God .. that he'll provide those answers some way...
2. why other people are the way they are
we watched Crash tonight. really good movieee...
anyways the whole thing is all these people interconnected but what i thought was so crazy was one minute i would be liek omg i hate that person!!!! and then the next minute it would be like OHHHH no wonder they're like that. i dunno. i guess i talk too much smack. and i get angry really easily. maybe it would be better if i took the time to find out why people are the way they are ... and if i can't maybe even to just give them the benefit of the doubt...
annd i can't remmeber number 3 but i have to sleep so i'mma quit rambling.. gnite
it is important to know why.
i used to think maybe it wasnt' so important why. that constantly seeking out why was a waste of time, because no matter why, the who what when and where and how would most likely still be that way. therefore, why waste the effort into wondering why ... in a sense, certain things maybe i still dont' feel like questioning...
but there are three things i think are important:
1. why i believe in what i believe
recently someone who i consider to be really strong in their faith started questioning it. and at first i was like omg panic... doubt. is it "horrible"? ... honestly, i dont' think so. maybe its good. sometimes. maybe its good if it causes us to seek out God more and figure out WHY He is who He is. isn't that what He wants after all? for us to SEEK after him? to search for him... and thirst for more? should we be content in what we THINK we know and blindly walk in our naive faith?
i dunno. i can't say i am all theologically correct or know anything really ... but what i believe is that God wants us to have a firm faith, to know his heart and i dunno, if questioning things and digging helps us do that then i'm thinking its a good thing. and i think that if thats' what we're doing, trying to figure out why we believe, trying to REALLy find God .. that he'll provide those answers some way...
2. why other people are the way they are
we watched Crash tonight. really good movieee...
anyways the whole thing is all these people interconnected but what i thought was so crazy was one minute i would be liek omg i hate that person!!!! and then the next minute it would be like OHHHH no wonder they're like that. i dunno. i guess i talk too much smack. and i get angry really easily. maybe it would be better if i took the time to find out why people are the way they are ... and if i can't maybe even to just give them the benefit of the doubt...
annd i can't remmeber number 3 but i have to sleep so i'mma quit rambling.. gnite
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
and today...
today started off well =) kat and i went on a mcd's run and met up with mo there and chilled and talked about funny things that our families do. then kat and i went over to janna and laur's to drop off food and desperate housewives and ended up staying for a while just joking around and chatting. that was really nice =)
studying just kind of takes alot out of me though. its so hard to focus and to find a good place to do so. and today, i jsut felt a little bit unwanted. although jo and carson are fun to be with until jo had to go to work and we all got seperate rooms at tc. and then i read whitney's msn space and it was about how she went back to rev for dinner. and how she realized that she really missed first year.
that was september. its funny how little things have changed since. and the term ends in 2 weeks. crazy.
today started off well =) kat and i went on a mcd's run and met up with mo there and chilled and talked about funny things that our families do. then kat and i went over to janna and laur's to drop off food and desperate housewives and ended up staying for a while just joking around and chatting. that was really nice =)
studying just kind of takes alot out of me though. its so hard to focus and to find a good place to do so. and today, i jsut felt a little bit unwanted. although jo and carson are fun to be with until jo had to go to work and we all got seperate rooms at tc. and then i read whitney's msn space and it was about how she went back to rev for dinner. and how she realized that she really missed first year.
that was september. its funny how little things have changed since. and the term ends in 2 weeks. crazy.
thursday was world AIDS day
"50 million people. This is the population of England. It’s also the number of AIDS orphans in Africa by 2010."
"I sat in the waiting room with the kids trying to tell them to sit on the bench in Siswathi, trying to hold the ones who fell asleep, and trying not to think about the reality that each and every one of these small beautiful children have a terrible virus raging in their veins."
"For the first time in my life, I glimpsed something deep into the heart of God, the heart of God the Father Who sent His Son so that we may live…I can honestly say that I wanted to give my life so that these children could live. I felt so hopeless as I realized that few of them will live to be older than my brother Colin, and none of them will be as old as my 16 year old brother Cody."
my don from last year is working in south africa trying to do something about all this. lately i've been moved to maybe go there myself.
in any case, go check out her blog http://masoyiafrica.blogspot.com and please support her in prayer and however else you can.
phone scare
so someone stole my phone from CIF today. and then they returned it like 10 hrs later. at least that's what i think happened. anwyays i'm just glad i have my phone back =)
studying at tc
studying at the coop building today with emz jo kat and carson haha.. so funny ... and lots of food... it was kinda gross but it was good =) i still can't decide between slc, dc, and now tc for finals. *sigh*
"50 million people. This is the population of England. It’s also the number of AIDS orphans in Africa by 2010."
"I sat in the waiting room with the kids trying to tell them to sit on the bench in Siswathi, trying to hold the ones who fell asleep, and trying not to think about the reality that each and every one of these small beautiful children have a terrible virus raging in their veins."
"For the first time in my life, I glimpsed something deep into the heart of God, the heart of God the Father Who sent His Son so that we may live…I can honestly say that I wanted to give my life so that these children could live. I felt so hopeless as I realized that few of them will live to be older than my brother Colin, and none of them will be as old as my 16 year old brother Cody."
my don from last year is working in south africa trying to do something about all this. lately i've been moved to maybe go there myself.
in any case, go check out her blog http://masoyiafrica.blogspot.com and please support her in prayer and however else you can.
phone scare
so someone stole my phone from CIF today. and then they returned it like 10 hrs later. at least that's what i think happened. anwyays i'm just glad i have my phone back =)
studying at tc
studying at the coop building today with emz jo kat and carson haha.. so funny ... and lots of food... it was kinda gross but it was good =) i still can't decide between slc, dc, and now tc for finals. *sigh*
Sunday, December 04, 2005
fun before finals
YAY! for:
annual mall escapades
fox & the fiddle* (celebrating seeing eachother;))
poutine and sweet dreams (scary waitress!!+cult)
voodoo wings and orchestral concerts (sitting in the front row hehe)
zehrs and chicken little
"wonders of winter" hehe not getting lost
jess's party
annnnnnnnnnd now it is time to study.
*sigh*
YAY! for:
annual mall escapades
fox & the fiddle* (celebrating seeing eachother;))
poutine and sweet dreams (scary waitress!!+cult)
voodoo wings and orchestral concerts (sitting in the front row hehe)
zehrs and chicken little
"wonders of winter" hehe not getting lost
jess's party
annnnnnnnnnd now it is time to study.
*sigh*
Saturday, December 03, 2005
oh december....
my christmas spirit is being seriously threatened by fear, boydrama, jealousy, fatigue, confusion, expectations, disappointments
and right now, the hugest migraine ever.
"how do you cope when the one........ and there's nothing you can do about..... i gotta take it, though its heartbreaking, it's something that i have to do. but nobody said that it would hurt so bad"
my christmas spirit is being seriously threatened by fear, boydrama, jealousy, fatigue, confusion, expectations, disappointments
and right now, the hugest migraine ever.
"how do you cope when the one........ and there's nothing you can do about..... i gotta take it, though its heartbreaking, it's something that i have to do. but nobody said that it would hurt so bad"
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