annoyed
i've been in toronto for the past four days just hanging out and seeing people. (since 95 percent of my friends live in the gta ..) For the most part its been a blast as usual...
however. i came on here to rant because i'm just really mad and i donm't know how to express it. i have difficulty actually TELLING the person that i'm upset because.. why bother if they dont' even seem to care how their actions affect me in the first place. i made plans to meet up with someone yesterday (thursday) at 10 a.m. Mind you, they picked the time. if you know me, you know i'm not a morning person.,.. i was also up late but i was up and ready in time. at 11 a.m. the person still hadn't called. so i was alittle worried so i call and they dont' answer the phone. so i'm like ok fine. so i just go out. and then at around 3:30 in the afternoon i get a call from them saying they slept in. so okay i'm like yeah its totally fine no worries. cuz i guess things happen and although i was a little bit annoyed, i've done stupid things in the past too. so THEN the person is like let's meet up tomorrow (today) instead. i'm like are you suuuure cuz if you're busy or you can't its totally fine. but the person insisted it would be fine and said we shoudl meet at the same time.
so just guess what happened. it is now 12pm and the person has not yet called.
at first i was like maybe i'm being unreasonable but the more i think about it NO. i have a right to be angry. chris tsoi gets mad when ppl are five minutes late haha becuase it just shows that the person has NO respect for me or my time. ALL my friends pretty much live in toronto i could spend my time being with OTHER ppl who actually care. or i could sleep IN!! ... but no.
i just don't think its fair that someone should be able to waste my time TWO DAYS in a row. ... i'm not some little kid anymore willing to wait for hours and hours just to spend two minutes with you. ... ARGH
yow mo gow choh ah!??!!?!
Friday, December 30, 2005
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Friday, December 23, 2005
christmas boos
the holidays so far have been pretty good ... i enjoy being with my family around the holiday season. we amuse eachother and sometimes we have really great conversations. today i spent the entire day with my mother shopping and it was fun =) we had second cup(wheee)and we talked alot especially since my mom refuses to drive on the highway so the drive to and from fairview was pretty long and we had a pretty in depth and interesting conversation. and we had a few laughs too =)
but you know what i am HATING about this christmas?
for ONE thing. it's on SUNDAY. usually, our family "tradition" type thing is we get up around 10 something and my mom makes us this huge brunch with bacon and sausage and eggs and the works, and then we take turns opening presents and we take pics. it's all very picturesque actually. but THIS year, church is at 10/11 which means, in order to do that, we're gonna have to get up at like 7 am. everyone knows i am NOT a happy camper at 7 in the morning. NOR am i photogenic.
and number TWO, apparently, i am just not really a part of my family anymore.
ther'es this whole carolling thing a couple families from my church are doing. pretty much, asked my parents and my sister to be in it. my sister has a *special* part. i didn't even KNOW about it until like 1/2hr ago (which btw, its currently 2:00am on december 24th but i just dindt' want to make this my christmas eve post). people just dont' even remember that i'm part of my family anymore. RUDE!!!!
and my family dindt' really bother to tell me about this. they also failed to mention that on christmas we are going over to some family friend's house for dinner.
i guess i can see how my parents might just assume that i dont' want to come or want to know since yeah, i dont' go to alot of these functions anymore
but it's CHRISTMAS for goshsakes. and it hurts.
the holidays so far have been pretty good ... i enjoy being with my family around the holiday season. we amuse eachother and sometimes we have really great conversations. today i spent the entire day with my mother shopping and it was fun =) we had second cup(wheee)and we talked alot especially since my mom refuses to drive on the highway so the drive to and from fairview was pretty long and we had a pretty in depth and interesting conversation. and we had a few laughs too =)
but you know what i am HATING about this christmas?
for ONE thing. it's on SUNDAY. usually, our family "tradition" type thing is we get up around 10 something and my mom makes us this huge brunch with bacon and sausage and eggs and the works, and then we take turns opening presents and we take pics. it's all very picturesque actually. but THIS year, church is at 10/11 which means, in order to do that, we're gonna have to get up at like 7 am. everyone knows i am NOT a happy camper at 7 in the morning. NOR am i photogenic.
and number TWO, apparently, i am just not really a part of my family anymore.
ther'es this whole carolling thing a couple families from my church are doing. pretty much, asked my parents and my sister to be in it. my sister has a *special* part. i didn't even KNOW about it until like 1/2hr ago (which btw, its currently 2:00am on december 24th but i just dindt' want to make this my christmas eve post). people just dont' even remember that i'm part of my family anymore. RUDE!!!!
and my family dindt' really bother to tell me about this. they also failed to mention that on christmas we are going over to some family friend's house for dinner.
i guess i can see how my parents might just assume that i dont' want to come or want to know since yeah, i dont' go to alot of these functions anymore
but it's CHRISTMAS for goshsakes. and it hurts.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Saturday, December 17, 2005
mormon's worst nightmare
doug's farewell dinner at the keg was supposed to be at 6pm. however there was a THREE hour wait, and in the end the dinner got moved to NINE pm instead. kat jo alison carson and i decided to go back to kat's house for the three hour wait.
we were just chilling and eating in kat's dining room/kitchen when alison and i both heard a rattling at the door. "errr i think there's someone at the door" i said. kat approached the door and indicated quite loudly that ther were two men standing outside. "should i open the dooor??!" we all rushed towards the door frantically peering out the side windows at the already baffled looking men. "don't open the door!!!!" "who IS it ??? is it herman???? no... they're white" "carson open the door!" "JUST OPEN THE DOOR!!!!" kat finally opens the door. "HI!" says one of the two smiling guys (in their mid20's or so) "my friend and i are missionaries from our church and..."
anndddddd the dog runs out the door. (fyi kat's family is looking after a friend's little white dog frosty during the holidays)
"OH NOOO!!!!!!!" screams Kat. "I FORGOT I HAD A DOG!!!!" omgomgomgomg everyone's frantic. kat looks at one of the guys as frosty runs past him. "CAN YOU GET HIM FOR ME!!???" The two guys just stand there frozen not knowing what to do. we are all screaming at the dog and at eachother. kat runs around the house trying to find treats and the leash. carson runs out of the house after the dog that he can't see because of his small small eyes "IT"S CAMOUFLAUGeD!!" says carson. joanna runs out on to the snow covered driveway BAREFOOT. (haha typical jo). Kat is screaming "WHERE IS THE LEASH!????!" Alison is repeatedly yelling "HERE! i'm HOLDING IT!!!" but kat doens't hear her for a while.. jo and carson come back in with the dog. "oh thank GOD!!!! omg" "what's WRONG with you frosty????!!!!" "you went out BAREFOOOT!?????!"
silence. "so ANYWAYS! hi!" i say to the guys STILL standing there.
"uhhh hi my friend and i are missionaries from our church... blablabla" Hands us a tract with a candycane attached. "errr... thanks!"
we close the door and laugh hysterically for like 20 min.
we read the tract and found out that they were mormons. hahaha i feel so bad for them hahaha but hopefully we created some err... humour? for them during their manditory evangelism.
doug's farewell dinner at the keg was supposed to be at 6pm. however there was a THREE hour wait, and in the end the dinner got moved to NINE pm instead. kat jo alison carson and i decided to go back to kat's house for the three hour wait.
we were just chilling and eating in kat's dining room/kitchen when alison and i both heard a rattling at the door. "errr i think there's someone at the door" i said. kat approached the door and indicated quite loudly that ther were two men standing outside. "should i open the dooor??!" we all rushed towards the door frantically peering out the side windows at the already baffled looking men. "don't open the door!!!!" "who IS it ??? is it herman???? no... they're white" "carson open the door!" "JUST OPEN THE DOOR!!!!" kat finally opens the door. "HI!" says one of the two smiling guys (in their mid20's or so) "my friend and i are missionaries from our church and..."
anndddddd the dog runs out the door. (fyi kat's family is looking after a friend's little white dog frosty during the holidays)
"OH NOOO!!!!!!!" screams Kat. "I FORGOT I HAD A DOG!!!!" omgomgomgomg everyone's frantic. kat looks at one of the guys as frosty runs past him. "CAN YOU GET HIM FOR ME!!???" The two guys just stand there frozen not knowing what to do. we are all screaming at the dog and at eachother. kat runs around the house trying to find treats and the leash. carson runs out of the house after the dog that he can't see because of his small small eyes "IT"S CAMOUFLAUGeD!!" says carson. joanna runs out on to the snow covered driveway BAREFOOT. (haha typical jo). Kat is screaming "WHERE IS THE LEASH!????!" Alison is repeatedly yelling "HERE! i'm HOLDING IT!!!" but kat doens't hear her for a while.. jo and carson come back in with the dog. "oh thank GOD!!!! omg" "what's WRONG with you frosty????!!!!" "you went out BAREFOOOT!?????!"
silence. "so ANYWAYS! hi!" i say to the guys STILL standing there.
"uhhh hi my friend and i are missionaries from our church... blablabla" Hands us a tract with a candycane attached. "errr... thanks!"
we close the door and laugh hysterically for like 20 min.
we read the tract and found out that they were mormons. hahaha i feel so bad for them hahaha but hopefully we created some err... humour? for them during their manditory evangelism.
snowlove*
for the past few weeks, other than crazy snow attacks when dropping carson off, i couldn't find anyone to play in the snow with me. it made me sad... NICE snow only lasts for so long. and this powdery stuff is perfect for making SNOWANGELS. i asked kat and jo a million times to make snow angels with me and they kept refusing only to make snow angels on like the ONE DAY taht i wasn't with them. needless to say, i was quite disappointed.
then, today-- steph, derek, and i were walking to v1 and i was like to steph "... wanna make snow angels?" and she's like "sure!" and throws her bag on the ground i'm like WHOAAAAAA duddddeeee!!! bahahhaa anyways it was fun =) and derek took pictures :D here's my first official snowangel making of the winter =) :
afterwards, we went to get princess alice and chilled in the cafe with simon ho, kevin (happy, and i forget his other namelol), and nate. there were no pizza fingers *sigh* but i had a spicy chicken wrap and maaaaan oh man it was good. and then went back to alice's room for a bit and just chatted. =) it was a nice break before going back to stUDYing again tomorrow *sigh* (thanks guys =))
(3/4... almost thereee!!!)
for the past few weeks, other than crazy snow attacks when dropping carson off, i couldn't find anyone to play in the snow with me. it made me sad... NICE snow only lasts for so long. and this powdery stuff is perfect for making SNOWANGELS. i asked kat and jo a million times to make snow angels with me and they kept refusing only to make snow angels on like the ONE DAY taht i wasn't with them. needless to say, i was quite disappointed.
then, today-- steph, derek, and i were walking to v1 and i was like to steph "... wanna make snow angels?" and she's like "sure!" and throws her bag on the ground i'm like WHOAAAAAA duddddeeee!!! bahahhaa anyways it was fun =) and derek took pictures :D here's my first official snowangel making of the winter =) :
afterwards, we went to get princess alice and chilled in the cafe with simon ho, kevin (happy, and i forget his other namelol), and nate. there were no pizza fingers *sigh* but i had a spicy chicken wrap and maaaaan oh man it was good. and then went back to alice's room for a bit and just chatted. =) it was a nice break before going back to stUDYing again tomorrow *sigh* (thanks guys =))
(3/4... almost thereee!!!)
Thursday, December 15, 2005
hello random
when i woke up this morning i found $120 on my desk along with my favourite pair of socks (black puma) that i'd lost for a long time.
on my way to narnia
2/4 tonight.. and then 3 tomorrow and thennnnnnnnnnn 4 on monday and NARNIA! *whee*
misplaced
i was so stupid. detach, detach, detach!!... even i need to learn some self defense.
i won't take pride in selfishness though. i'm not going to be ashamed of caring about other people. (granted, sometimes i am the most selfish person you will ever meet) my world does not revolve around "number one", and i don't charge ahead uncaring of the hearts i may be shattering on my way.
MY bit of selfishness? always being afraid that things are "about" me, even when i know full well they aren't. overanalysing. maybe stepping on other people's right NOT to give a damn about me.
so here i protect myself and i protect them from me. i'm waving and i won't cry i single tear.
shhh before you say anything. i think i'm allowed to express myself too.
on that note
It takes little strength to rely on others, moderate strength to rely on yourself, and great strength to let go of that whole strength and pride thing and fall into the arms of God.
current status? still a weakling.
when i woke up this morning i found $120 on my desk along with my favourite pair of socks (black puma) that i'd lost for a long time.
on my way to narnia
2/4 tonight.. and then 3 tomorrow and thennnnnnnnnnn 4 on monday and NARNIA! *whee*
misplaced
i was so stupid. detach, detach, detach!!... even i need to learn some self defense.
i won't take pride in selfishness though. i'm not going to be ashamed of caring about other people. (granted, sometimes i am the most selfish person you will ever meet) my world does not revolve around "number one", and i don't charge ahead uncaring of the hearts i may be shattering on my way.
MY bit of selfishness? always being afraid that things are "about" me, even when i know full well they aren't. overanalysing. maybe stepping on other people's right NOT to give a damn about me.
so here i protect myself and i protect them from me. i'm waving and i won't cry i single tear.
shhh before you say anything. i think i'm allowed to express myself too.
on that note
It takes little strength to rely on others, moderate strength to rely on yourself, and great strength to let go of that whole strength and pride thing and fall into the arms of God.
current status? still a weakling.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
i smell a mystery
hellohello we are at DP ... we, that is, kat and i.
howeverrrrrr...
half an hour ago, kat disappeared from the cubicle behind me. she didn't take her cell phone.
at first i thought she went to the bathroom but after a while... her whereabouts seemed a bit more fishy. i have been trying to solve the mystery with the help of laura janna and joanna.
here's what we've come up with so far.
Q: Where is Kathryn Cheung?
A:
a) she died.
b) she is taking a half hour long crap
c) is really gassy and cant' get up
d) is HIDING (it's a GAME!!!!) hahaha
AHHHHH!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHA she's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and we were wrongggg... the answer to the mystery isssss.... she was practicing typing out her essay questions at the computers!
if you ask me, our solutions to the mystery were far more interesting.
janna says: take your cell phone next time but don't flush it!!!
bahhaaaa
hellohello we are at DP ... we, that is, kat and i.
howeverrrrrr...
half an hour ago, kat disappeared from the cubicle behind me. she didn't take her cell phone.
at first i thought she went to the bathroom but after a while... her whereabouts seemed a bit more fishy. i have been trying to solve the mystery with the help of laura janna and joanna.
here's what we've come up with so far.
Q: Where is Kathryn Cheung?
A:
a) she died.
b) she is taking a half hour long crap
c) is really gassy and cant' get up
d) is HIDING (it's a GAME!!!!) hahaha
AHHHHH!!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHA she's back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and we were wrongggg... the answer to the mystery isssss.... she was practicing typing out her essay questions at the computers!
if you ask me, our solutions to the mystery were far more interesting.
janna says: take your cell phone next time but don't flush it!!!
bahhaaaa
Monday, December 12, 2005
Sunday, December 11, 2005
why
it is important to know why.
i used to think maybe it wasnt' so important why. that constantly seeking out why was a waste of time, because no matter why, the who what when and where and how would most likely still be that way. therefore, why waste the effort into wondering why ... in a sense, certain things maybe i still dont' feel like questioning...
but there are three things i think are important:
1. why i believe in what i believe
recently someone who i consider to be really strong in their faith started questioning it. and at first i was like omg panic... doubt. is it "horrible"? ... honestly, i dont' think so. maybe its good. sometimes. maybe its good if it causes us to seek out God more and figure out WHY He is who He is. isn't that what He wants after all? for us to SEEK after him? to search for him... and thirst for more? should we be content in what we THINK we know and blindly walk in our naive faith?
i dunno. i can't say i am all theologically correct or know anything really ... but what i believe is that God wants us to have a firm faith, to know his heart and i dunno, if questioning things and digging helps us do that then i'm thinking its a good thing. and i think that if thats' what we're doing, trying to figure out why we believe, trying to REALLy find God .. that he'll provide those answers some way...
2. why other people are the way they are
we watched Crash tonight. really good movieee...
anyways the whole thing is all these people interconnected but what i thought was so crazy was one minute i would be liek omg i hate that person!!!! and then the next minute it would be like OHHHH no wonder they're like that. i dunno. i guess i talk too much smack. and i get angry really easily. maybe it would be better if i took the time to find out why people are the way they are ... and if i can't maybe even to just give them the benefit of the doubt...
annd i can't remmeber number 3 but i have to sleep so i'mma quit rambling.. gnite
it is important to know why.
i used to think maybe it wasnt' so important why. that constantly seeking out why was a waste of time, because no matter why, the who what when and where and how would most likely still be that way. therefore, why waste the effort into wondering why ... in a sense, certain things maybe i still dont' feel like questioning...
but there are three things i think are important:
1. why i believe in what i believe
recently someone who i consider to be really strong in their faith started questioning it. and at first i was like omg panic... doubt. is it "horrible"? ... honestly, i dont' think so. maybe its good. sometimes. maybe its good if it causes us to seek out God more and figure out WHY He is who He is. isn't that what He wants after all? for us to SEEK after him? to search for him... and thirst for more? should we be content in what we THINK we know and blindly walk in our naive faith?
i dunno. i can't say i am all theologically correct or know anything really ... but what i believe is that God wants us to have a firm faith, to know his heart and i dunno, if questioning things and digging helps us do that then i'm thinking its a good thing. and i think that if thats' what we're doing, trying to figure out why we believe, trying to REALLy find God .. that he'll provide those answers some way...
2. why other people are the way they are
we watched Crash tonight. really good movieee...
anyways the whole thing is all these people interconnected but what i thought was so crazy was one minute i would be liek omg i hate that person!!!! and then the next minute it would be like OHHHH no wonder they're like that. i dunno. i guess i talk too much smack. and i get angry really easily. maybe it would be better if i took the time to find out why people are the way they are ... and if i can't maybe even to just give them the benefit of the doubt...
annd i can't remmeber number 3 but i have to sleep so i'mma quit rambling.. gnite
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
and today...
today started off well =) kat and i went on a mcd's run and met up with mo there and chilled and talked about funny things that our families do. then kat and i went over to janna and laur's to drop off food and desperate housewives and ended up staying for a while just joking around and chatting. that was really nice =)
studying just kind of takes alot out of me though. its so hard to focus and to find a good place to do so. and today, i jsut felt a little bit unwanted. although jo and carson are fun to be with until jo had to go to work and we all got seperate rooms at tc. and then i read whitney's msn space and it was about how she went back to rev for dinner. and how she realized that she really missed first year.
that was september. its funny how little things have changed since. and the term ends in 2 weeks. crazy.
today started off well =) kat and i went on a mcd's run and met up with mo there and chilled and talked about funny things that our families do. then kat and i went over to janna and laur's to drop off food and desperate housewives and ended up staying for a while just joking around and chatting. that was really nice =)
studying just kind of takes alot out of me though. its so hard to focus and to find a good place to do so. and today, i jsut felt a little bit unwanted. although jo and carson are fun to be with until jo had to go to work and we all got seperate rooms at tc. and then i read whitney's msn space and it was about how she went back to rev for dinner. and how she realized that she really missed first year.
that was september. its funny how little things have changed since. and the term ends in 2 weeks. crazy.
thursday was world AIDS day
"50 million people. This is the population of England. It’s also the number of AIDS orphans in Africa by 2010."
"I sat in the waiting room with the kids trying to tell them to sit on the bench in Siswathi, trying to hold the ones who fell asleep, and trying not to think about the reality that each and every one of these small beautiful children have a terrible virus raging in their veins."
"For the first time in my life, I glimpsed something deep into the heart of God, the heart of God the Father Who sent His Son so that we may live…I can honestly say that I wanted to give my life so that these children could live. I felt so hopeless as I realized that few of them will live to be older than my brother Colin, and none of them will be as old as my 16 year old brother Cody."
my don from last year is working in south africa trying to do something about all this. lately i've been moved to maybe go there myself.
in any case, go check out her blog http://masoyiafrica.blogspot.com and please support her in prayer and however else you can.
phone scare
so someone stole my phone from CIF today. and then they returned it like 10 hrs later. at least that's what i think happened. anwyays i'm just glad i have my phone back =)
studying at tc
studying at the coop building today with emz jo kat and carson haha.. so funny ... and lots of food... it was kinda gross but it was good =) i still can't decide between slc, dc, and now tc for finals. *sigh*
"50 million people. This is the population of England. It’s also the number of AIDS orphans in Africa by 2010."
"I sat in the waiting room with the kids trying to tell them to sit on the bench in Siswathi, trying to hold the ones who fell asleep, and trying not to think about the reality that each and every one of these small beautiful children have a terrible virus raging in their veins."
"For the first time in my life, I glimpsed something deep into the heart of God, the heart of God the Father Who sent His Son so that we may live…I can honestly say that I wanted to give my life so that these children could live. I felt so hopeless as I realized that few of them will live to be older than my brother Colin, and none of them will be as old as my 16 year old brother Cody."
my don from last year is working in south africa trying to do something about all this. lately i've been moved to maybe go there myself.
in any case, go check out her blog http://masoyiafrica.blogspot.com and please support her in prayer and however else you can.
phone scare
so someone stole my phone from CIF today. and then they returned it like 10 hrs later. at least that's what i think happened. anwyays i'm just glad i have my phone back =)
studying at tc
studying at the coop building today with emz jo kat and carson haha.. so funny ... and lots of food... it was kinda gross but it was good =) i still can't decide between slc, dc, and now tc for finals. *sigh*
Sunday, December 04, 2005
fun before finals
YAY! for:
annual mall escapades
fox & the fiddle* (celebrating seeing eachother;))
poutine and sweet dreams (scary waitress!!+cult)
voodoo wings and orchestral concerts (sitting in the front row hehe)
zehrs and chicken little
"wonders of winter" hehe not getting lost
jess's party
annnnnnnnnnd now it is time to study.
*sigh*
YAY! for:
annual mall escapades
fox & the fiddle* (celebrating seeing eachother;))
poutine and sweet dreams (scary waitress!!+cult)
voodoo wings and orchestral concerts (sitting in the front row hehe)
zehrs and chicken little
"wonders of winter" hehe not getting lost
jess's party
annnnnnnnnnd now it is time to study.
*sigh*
Saturday, December 03, 2005
oh december....
my christmas spirit is being seriously threatened by fear, boydrama, jealousy, fatigue, confusion, expectations, disappointments
and right now, the hugest migraine ever.
"how do you cope when the one........ and there's nothing you can do about..... i gotta take it, though its heartbreaking, it's something that i have to do. but nobody said that it would hurt so bad"
my christmas spirit is being seriously threatened by fear, boydrama, jealousy, fatigue, confusion, expectations, disappointments
and right now, the hugest migraine ever.
"how do you cope when the one........ and there's nothing you can do about..... i gotta take it, though its heartbreaking, it's something that i have to do. but nobody said that it would hurt so bad"
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
good times*
who needs alcohol when you have weird friends??? bahaha...
here are the quotable of the day...
miss laura sato (gets her own section!!! lol)
[Today, we decided to go to the mall. Determined to buy black nail polish, she finds some at zellers. As we're heading over to pay for it laura starts vigourously shakingggg the nail polish.]
laura: hear that???
jasy: ... uhhh....
laura: THAT is the sound of happiness in a bottle!!
[Later on tonight laura, janna, jo, kat, and i went to Fox and the Fiddle for dinner =) we sit down and there are these coasters that say "YOUR LUCK HAS COME IN"]
laura: your luck has come in!! *stare*
jasy: ... uhhhh why?
laura: because you're sitting next to me!!!
[turns to kat whose sitting across from her] kat, your luck has come in!!!
... i can't find the picture for this one... but its the best one in my opinion.
[i dont' even exactly know what happened but all of a sudden laur jsut goes...]
laura: .... do i look like a WAR AMP!!?!
jasy:.... KAT'S A WAR AMP!!!!!!
kat: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
laura: no .. no i meant... UGHHHHH i didn't mean...
kat: STOP MAKING FUN OF MY DISABILITy!!!!!!
ok i'll stop targetting laura now =P ... other interesting things that happened this evening...
trying to "un-hot" janna
i think we actually spent a good 20 min laughing non-stop while trying to get janna to take a pic where it looks like she has a double chin. it's THAT HARD. bahahhaa
janna: ........... MY NECK HURTS!!!
yes jannamae, it must be really hard being so hot ... hahaha ;) jk jk jk...
kat says: awww janna your earrings are so gorgeous. i want some. ..... but they wouldn't match my FACE!!
jo feels naked
jo feels naked without her orange. lol lol
howww.... attractive!!
so much love just-a-goin-around
my (ex)roomie kat .. is just moving along the family tree!!! >=( (like jennifer aniston's new movie!!!) at one time she was MY girlfriend but then abandoned me for my MOTHER (aka laura) ... i am unsure of their current status at the moment as kat was making passes at my STEPMOMMY (aka janna) tonight. quit hitting on my maternal figures you slut!!! haha ;)
alllll through the night.. kat was playing footsies with everrrryyyyyone... at one point i think joanna was playing footsies with janna.... and ... annd...
we are just one messed up love polygon haha =P
thankkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks ladies =) ... i had a fun giggle-filled day. MUCH, MUCH, needed. =) MY LUCK HAS COME IN.
nicole the waitress says: are you guys celebrating something?
why YES! we're celebrating SEEING eachother =) ... *good times.*
who needs alcohol when you have weird friends??? bahaha...
here are the quotable of the day...
miss laura sato (gets her own section!!! lol)
[Today, we decided to go to the mall. Determined to buy black nail polish, she finds some at zellers. As we're heading over to pay for it laura starts vigourously shakingggg the nail polish.]laura: hear that???
jasy: ... uhhh....
laura: THAT is the sound of happiness in a bottle!!
[Later on tonight laura, janna, jo, kat, and i went to Fox and the Fiddle for dinner =) we sit down and there are these coasters that say "YOUR LUCK HAS COME IN"] laura: your luck has come in!! *stare*
jasy: ... uhhhh why?
laura: because you're sitting next to me!!!
[turns to kat whose sitting across from her] kat, your luck has come in!!!
... i can't find the picture for this one... but its the best one in my opinion.
[i dont' even exactly know what happened but all of a sudden laur jsut goes...]
laura: .... do i look like a WAR AMP!!?!
jasy:.... KAT'S A WAR AMP!!!!!!
kat: AHHHHHHHHHHHH
laura: no .. no i meant... UGHHHHH i didn't mean...
kat: STOP MAKING FUN OF MY DISABILITy!!!!!!
ok i'll stop targetting laura now =P ... other interesting things that happened this evening...
trying to "un-hot" janna
i think we actually spent a good 20 min laughing non-stop while trying to get janna to take a pic where it looks like she has a double chin. it's THAT HARD. bahahhaa 
janna: ........... MY NECK HURTS!!! yes jannamae, it must be really hard being so hot ... hahaha ;) jk jk jk...
kat says: awww janna your earrings are so gorgeous. i want some. ..... but they wouldn't match my FACE!!
jo feels naked
jo feels naked without her orange. lol lolhowww.... attractive!!
so much love just-a-goin-around
my (ex)roomie kat .. is just moving along the family tree!!! >=( (like jennifer aniston's new movie!!!) at one time she was MY girlfriend but then abandoned me for my MOTHER (aka laura) ... i am unsure of their current status at the moment as kat was making passes at my STEPMOMMY (aka janna) tonight. quit hitting on my maternal figures you slut!!! haha ;)alllll through the night.. kat was playing footsies with everrrryyyyyone... at one point i think joanna was playing footsies with janna.... and ... annd...
we are just one messed up love polygon haha =P thankkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks ladies =) ... i had a fun giggle-filled day. MUCH, MUCH, needed. =) MY LUCK HAS COME IN.
nicole the waitress says: are you guys celebrating something?
why YES! we're celebrating SEEING eachother =) ... *good times.*
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
DIBS!!!!!!!
clara and i were talking about wedding stuff and she was showing me a colour theme on thsi xanga site ANYWAYS... the person was talking on the xanga abotu how it would be so cool to rent a PHOTOBOOTH for a wedding so that guests can take pics of themselves as souvenirs or you could keep them and [put them in an album!!!
is that not ingenious? ... and soooooooooo ME?!?!
well, I AM GETTING A PHOTOBOOTH FOR MY WEDDING(if and when it comes)!
dibs. that's all. hahaha
clara and i were talking about wedding stuff and she was showing me a colour theme on thsi xanga site ANYWAYS... the person was talking on the xanga abotu how it would be so cool to rent a PHOTOBOOTH for a wedding so that guests can take pics of themselves as souvenirs or you could keep them and [put them in an album!!!
is that not ingenious? ... and soooooooooo ME?!?!
well, I AM GETTING A PHOTOBOOTH FOR MY WEDDING(if and when it comes)!
dibs. that's all. hahaha
Monday, November 28, 2005
annnnnnnnnd ACTION.
if i can kill habits people CAN'T see, and i know i can, then why shouldn't i be able to do the same with things in the open?
in highschool, i had a confidence and determination about me. i TORE through things with passion and determination, despite costs. despite fear of disappointment. joanna thinks this confidence has just been "put to the side" ... and i'm gonna prove her right. and for once, prove others wrong.
(for the record, i'm writing this down because it'll be harder for me to run away from it if its up in writing.)
here we GO.
in order to deal with my problems i must find constructive alternatives to the DESTRUCTIVE things i do. beucase the root of my problems is, well, running.
and my running has become destructive.
alison said a few weeks ago; "you do so much running emotionally, you should do some physically instead!"
so i'm gonna run. well, i'm gonna excercise. mondays and wednesdays hitting up cif at around 10 am.
i am going to stay away from what i need to stay away from until christmas. after that, whenever i am faced with what tempts me, i'm gonna pray. afterall, maybe that's the solution in finding the balance between my own effort and trusting God. just asking for his help when it seems more than i can bear. i know that often, when i'm about to give into my temptations, i will just push God out of my mind.... but if i always have God in my mind and heart, then how can i fall?
and how will i remember? by telling the people who i actually DO those things with to remind me. instead of the people who might not be there anyways.
*breathes out*.
if i can kill habits people CAN'T see, and i know i can, then why shouldn't i be able to do the same with things in the open?
in highschool, i had a confidence and determination about me. i TORE through things with passion and determination, despite costs. despite fear of disappointment. joanna thinks this confidence has just been "put to the side" ... and i'm gonna prove her right. and for once, prove others wrong.
(for the record, i'm writing this down because it'll be harder for me to run away from it if its up in writing.)
here we GO.
in order to deal with my problems i must find constructive alternatives to the DESTRUCTIVE things i do. beucase the root of my problems is, well, running.
and my running has become destructive.
alison said a few weeks ago; "you do so much running emotionally, you should do some physically instead!"
so i'm gonna run. well, i'm gonna excercise. mondays and wednesdays hitting up cif at around 10 am.
i am going to stay away from what i need to stay away from until christmas. after that, whenever i am faced with what tempts me, i'm gonna pray. afterall, maybe that's the solution in finding the balance between my own effort and trusting God. just asking for his help when it seems more than i can bear. i know that often, when i'm about to give into my temptations, i will just push God out of my mind.... but if i always have God in my mind and heart, then how can i fall?
and how will i remember? by telling the people who i actually DO those things with to remind me. instead of the people who might not be there anyways.
*breathes out*.
Saturday, November 26, 2005
second cup christmas
i've been craving second cup alllll week ever sincei saw a girl in my english class with the cup. i love the cup its so festive!! i honestly just wanted second cup so i could get the cup. anyways yay for cindy she came with me to second cup after ccf haha and i got a caramel coretto MMM =9 so worth the wait. and now i ahve the cup too =)
haha
---tonight while at christy's playing mj/poker---
cindy: have you seen the posters in my FACE??
clara: i don't even OWN a green shirt!!!! (everyone looks at the green shirt she's wearing)
clara: his short is sticker than mine!! (irt sam's hockey stick being shorter than hers)
---while heading out to the cab with jo, kat, and carson---
kat slips and falls on her butt.
[we get into the cab]
carson: hahhahahaha kat that was so funny when you fell!
cab driver: ........ YOU didnt' see her LEGS! they were kicking like THIS [moves hands in rapid circular motion]
*post it* ... maril said something to me at 5am yesterday and we were both laughing SO hard but i forget it. i just wanna remind myself to ask her.
when stupid things happen it makes life lighter. =)
i've been craving second cup alllll week ever sincei saw a girl in my english class with the cup. i love the cup its so festive!! i honestly just wanted second cup so i could get the cup. anyways yay for cindy she came with me to second cup after ccf haha and i got a caramel coretto MMM =9 so worth the wait. and now i ahve the cup too =)
haha
---tonight while at christy's playing mj/poker---
cindy: have you seen the posters in my FACE??
clara: i don't even OWN a green shirt!!!! (everyone looks at the green shirt she's wearing)
clara: his short is sticker than mine!! (irt sam's hockey stick being shorter than hers)
---while heading out to the cab with jo, kat, and carson---
kat slips and falls on her butt.
[we get into the cab]
carson: hahhahahaha kat that was so funny when you fell!
cab driver: ........ YOU didnt' see her LEGS! they were kicking like THIS [moves hands in rapid circular motion]
*post it* ... maril said something to me at 5am yesterday and we were both laughing SO hard but i forget it. i just wanna remind myself to ask her.
when stupid things happen it makes life lighter. =)
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
good times at dc
the food nazi
miss jessica sit kills me hahaha... we had lunch with carson and dev today at bubbletease and jess didnt' finish her meal so she packs it to go, planning to eat it for dinner. later on, she comes to dc to study carrying the box.
so there's this new rule this year after the renovation that hot food isn't allowed in the library... so the attendant lady spots jess's box and says in a rude voice "that's not allowed in the library!! get it out of here!!!" so jess leaves and stands outside of the library thinking for five minutes on how to get the food into the library. she dind't want to risk putting it in her bag and having the lady check it ... so she gets her friend who's on their way to an exam to bring her bag in for her hahahahhaa...
later that night, jess wants to eat so she asks me to go to mc with her to microwave her food. thinking that the lady would be done her shift by then considering its been a few hours, she puts the food in her bag and we walk towards the door. JUST OUR LUCK-- the same woman is STILL guarding the door hahahaha so jess RUNS back and gets her coat and makes ME carry the box with the coat over top of it. hahhaahaha so here i am carrying this styrofoam box under a coat like a criminal hahaha i was SO scared the attendant was gonna stop me hahaha but we made it out unscathed! it was like smuggling an illegal immigrant across the border or something hahahahaa
we laughed all the way from dc to the microwaves =)
chicken dinner
chicken dinner is some good stuff especially when shared with some of your favourite people. chris, dev, emzhei, marilyn, and i went to get chicken dinner tonight and laughed our butts off aboutthe most random things such as really tall asian girl t.a.'s and we ate rice pudding just like last year. i felt like we should be getting upand walking back to rev but no such luck (obviously)...
chris, dev, maril and i also decided that we are GOING TO CUBA in april!!!!! we're planning to invite all the sA girls ... *crosses fingers* ... but if people won't come we are STILL going!!! planning starts tomorrow!!! *whheeee!*
the food nazi
miss jessica sit kills me hahaha... we had lunch with carson and dev today at bubbletease and jess didnt' finish her meal so she packs it to go, planning to eat it for dinner. later on, she comes to dc to study carrying the box.
so there's this new rule this year after the renovation that hot food isn't allowed in the library... so the attendant lady spots jess's box and says in a rude voice "that's not allowed in the library!! get it out of here!!!" so jess leaves and stands outside of the library thinking for five minutes on how to get the food into the library. she dind't want to risk putting it in her bag and having the lady check it ... so she gets her friend who's on their way to an exam to bring her bag in for her hahahahhaa...
later that night, jess wants to eat so she asks me to go to mc with her to microwave her food. thinking that the lady would be done her shift by then considering its been a few hours, she puts the food in her bag and we walk towards the door. JUST OUR LUCK-- the same woman is STILL guarding the door hahahaha so jess RUNS back and gets her coat and makes ME carry the box with the coat over top of it. hahhaahaha so here i am carrying this styrofoam box under a coat like a criminal hahaha i was SO scared the attendant was gonna stop me hahaha but we made it out unscathed! it was like smuggling an illegal immigrant across the border or something hahahahaa
we laughed all the way from dc to the microwaves =)
chicken dinner
chicken dinner is some good stuff especially when shared with some of your favourite people. chris, dev, emzhei, marilyn, and i went to get chicken dinner tonight and laughed our butts off aboutthe most random things such as really tall asian girl t.a.'s and we ate rice pudding just like last year. i felt like we should be getting upand walking back to rev but no such luck (obviously)...
chris, dev, maril and i also decided that we are GOING TO CUBA in april!!!!! we're planning to invite all the sA girls ... *crosses fingers* ... but if people won't come we are STILL going!!! planning starts tomorrow!!! *whheeee!*
Monday, November 21, 2005
weekend words
friday: sleepover, pizza, apples haha, laughter, worship, conviction, discussion, sleepy
saturday: anticipation, giggling, pictures, ladies, FUBAR, almost, williams, HOT CHOCOLATE, bruscettaaaaa =), prank haha, vex, reminisce, first year songs, chill, =)
sunday: disappointment, anger, chickensalad, desperate housewives, nap, homework, resolve
friday: sleepover, pizza, apples haha, laughter, worship, conviction, discussion, sleepy
saturday: anticipation, giggling, pictures, ladies, FUBAR, almost, williams, HOT CHOCOLATE, bruscettaaaaa =), prank haha, vex, reminisce, first year songs, chill, =)
sunday: disappointment, anger, chickensalad, desperate housewives, nap, homework, resolve
Thursday, November 17, 2005
hello old friend!
EEEEEEEEEE :D first real snowwwwwww =)
today i woke up and it was SNOWING beautiful icing sugar snow =) and then kat jo and i got mcdonalds breakfast before class so my day just started off really well.
i love snow. not only is it gorgeous but its accompanied by so many good memories. i think only with snow am i able to just happily remember without becoming saddened by missing things... hahah i remember the day with the three snowball fights last year. 1. when alison, andrew, jo, kat, maril, chris and i decided to get everyone to go out and have a snowball fight and all the ccf ppl studying at slc came out and had the craziest wettest most violent snowball fight everrrr ... i got CREAMED by mike yung booooo hahha but it was fun =) and then 2. when i went back to rev, dev, aneta, and quyen were building a big snowman and we had another little snowball fight in the south quad courtyard... and then 3. when i went back upstairs janna had left me a note on my closet door saying "it's packing snow!!! come over when you get back we wanna have a snowball fight" =) soooo i went out againnn with janna, laur, and otto and built a chinese snowman haha and later krista and richard came and we had a snowball fight and made snowangels
*sigh* that was honestly one of the happiest days i can remember =)
winter also reminds me of me and bee's snow adventures when we'd make baby snowmen and dance around in the snowflakes and when we made alison a big heart under her window hahahah.. and speaking of alison we had our snow adventures too mainly consisting of me falling on my butt and her laughing hers off hahaha
awww... <3
and todayyyyy me, dev, and kat went outside and took pictures and videos in the snow and laughed and sang jingle bells. and then kat and i smothered eachother with snowballs =)
so this year's happy snow memories are beginning. snow makes me think of friends, smiles, christmas, bells, laughing, and craziness. *smile*
EEEEEEEEEE :D first real snowwwwwww =)
today i woke up and it was SNOWING beautiful icing sugar snow =) and then kat jo and i got mcdonalds breakfast before class so my day just started off really well.
i love snow. not only is it gorgeous but its accompanied by so many good memories. i think only with snow am i able to just happily remember without becoming saddened by missing things... hahah i remember the day with the three snowball fights last year. 1. when alison, andrew, jo, kat, maril, chris and i decided to get everyone to go out and have a snowball fight and all the ccf ppl studying at slc came out and had the craziest wettest most violent snowball fight everrrr ... i got CREAMED by mike yung booooo hahha but it was fun =) and then 2. when i went back to rev, dev, aneta, and quyen were building a big snowman and we had another little snowball fight in the south quad courtyard... and then 3. when i went back upstairs janna had left me a note on my closet door saying "it's packing snow!!! come over when you get back we wanna have a snowball fight" =) soooo i went out againnn with janna, laur, and otto and built a chinese snowman haha and later krista and richard came and we had a snowball fight and made snowangels
*sigh* that was honestly one of the happiest days i can remember =)
winter also reminds me of me and bee's snow adventures when we'd make baby snowmen and dance around in the snowflakes and when we made alison a big heart under her window hahahah.. and speaking of alison we had our snow adventures too mainly consisting of me falling on my butt and her laughing hers off hahaha
awww... <3
and todayyyyy me, dev, and kat went outside and took pictures and videos in the snow and laughed and sang jingle bells. and then kat and i smothered eachother with snowballs =)
so this year's happy snow memories are beginning. snow makes me think of friends, smiles, christmas, bells, laughing, and craziness. *smile*
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
mumbo jumbo
i. hate. english. i never thought i'd say those words. to be precise, i hate BUSINESS english. writing memos, SUMMARIES, creating "mock" scenarios to waste paper on... its all so POINTLESS! especially summaries. writing documents that describe larger documents for people who are too lazy to read the actual documents. geez. save me some time and just make the original document concise and of a readable length!!! AHHHHH
this is the chocolate i keep freaking out over. it's PERFECT and creamy and just... "OH!". the other day i actually CRIED because i couldn't find it. (granted, ladies my "friend" is visiting)... in any case, there are only three pieces left. and this chocolate is from europe!!!! what am i to do!???!
i. hate. english. i never thought i'd say those words. to be precise, i hate BUSINESS english. writing memos, SUMMARIES, creating "mock" scenarios to waste paper on... its all so POINTLESS! especially summaries. writing documents that describe larger documents for people who are too lazy to read the actual documents. geez. save me some time and just make the original document concise and of a readable length!!! AHHHHH
this is the chocolate i keep freaking out over. it's PERFECT and creamy and just... "OH!". the other day i actually CRIED because i couldn't find it. (granted, ladies my "friend" is visiting)... in any case, there are only three pieces left. and this chocolate is from europe!!!! what am i to do!???!
Monday, November 14, 2005
miss dora chang and i reunited was quite beautiful i must say. =)
i had a blast in ottawa... a much MUCH needed getaway from the blahness and ironically also the drama of waterloo.
today i just wished i could stay in ottawa forever.
i like laughing and icecream and movies and parties and late night talking in the dark even though our ears are ringing and we cant' barely hear eachother and singing ashlee simpson and shopping and eating but mostly laughing. i havne't laughed like this weekend in a LONG while.
Something i forgot i guess. with dora, there's never a shortage of laughter.
thanks babe. miss you already.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
shopping is shopping.
clara and i were on our way back to wcri when we spotted a sign that said "SALE 12:00-2:00"outside the east campus hall warehouse place... seeing that it was only around 1:30, we couldn't resist peeking in even if we suspected it was only chairs and tables that were being sold.
well! ... remarkably, there was a large pile of clothing in the corner.
as we semi jokingly poked around it to see if
1. alison's lost mittens were there and
2. if there was anything interesting there...
a man approached us saying "everything here is only 25 cents!"
we looked around us. many of the items were marked with tags saying "found at bomber" or "found at slc". As we looked at eachother hesitantly, clara eyed a green sweater "... do you think it'll fit?" she asked eagerly.. haaha and with that, we began our scavenge through other people's lost items.
what can i say? ... shopping is shopping.
here are some visuals of clara trying on the sweater and our loot hahhaa..
clara and i were on our way back to wcri when we spotted a sign that said "SALE 12:00-2:00"outside the east campus hall warehouse place... seeing that it was only around 1:30, we couldn't resist peeking in even if we suspected it was only chairs and tables that were being sold.
well! ... remarkably, there was a large pile of clothing in the corner.
as we semi jokingly poked around it to see if
1. alison's lost mittens were there and
2. if there was anything interesting there...
a man approached us saying "everything here is only 25 cents!"
we looked around us. many of the items were marked with tags saying "found at bomber" or "found at slc". As we looked at eachother hesitantly, clara eyed a green sweater "... do you think it'll fit?" she asked eagerly.. haaha and with that, we began our scavenge through other people's lost items.
what can i say? ... shopping is shopping.
here are some visuals of clara trying on the sweater and our loot hahhaa..
friendships begin in the most peculiar ways.
sometimes two people who by all logic should be resentful aquaintances at best, find a connection. an understanding.
these little understandings create smiles and sharing despite the odds.
i'm really thankful for that.
and i'm really thankful for YOU. this is such a huge weight off my shoulders... i pray wholeheartedly that God will continue to grow and encourage us as friends cuz i think you're absolutely incredible and i'm so glad, no matter how weird it is, that i'm getting to know you.
sometimes two people who by all logic should be resentful aquaintances at best, find a connection. an understanding.
these little understandings create smiles and sharing despite the odds.
i'm really thankful for that.
and i'm really thankful for YOU. this is such a huge weight off my shoulders... i pray wholeheartedly that God will continue to grow and encourage us as friends cuz i think you're absolutely incredible and i'm so glad, no matter how weird it is, that i'm getting to know you.
Monday, November 07, 2005
a little late for noooo vember.
4 people had "sweet november" on their msn name at some point during this week.
i wanted to update but i had lifesong practices and lifesong and school and STUFF in between. and my mouse is messed up so it takes extra long. and it seems every november i hit a creative low. although my hands are itching to paint a cup of noodles right now.
the end of october proved to be very interesting. dramadramadrama... hopefully november will ease up a bit on the drama.
things that made me happy this week:
- halloweeeeeen at fed with kat and quyen and everyone =) end october with a BANG.
- dinner with the clay38 girls haha... always a laugh and a half
- watching softball with jess and jackie
- lifesong
- the "food" four. aka jo kat and carson... pizzaaa and burger kingggg ... mmm =9
- being with the sA girls =) watching biography and eating pizza. oh pizza makes everything fine
- taco night!!! =) tacos and bacardi and hockey with maril, dev, raj, and taz (and rolvin and jo)
- shleeeepoverrrrr with alison =) although it wasn't quite "like that". quality time is always cherished. uninterupted, un-fourthwheeled quality time =) *grin*
- dling gilmore girls episodes *ohhhlovely*
aNNNddd i'm going to ottawa on friday!!!! wheeeee gonna see miss changggggg :D !!!
4 people had "sweet november" on their msn name at some point during this week.
i wanted to update but i had lifesong practices and lifesong and school and STUFF in between. and my mouse is messed up so it takes extra long. and it seems every november i hit a creative low. although my hands are itching to paint a cup of noodles right now.
the end of october proved to be very interesting. dramadramadrama... hopefully november will ease up a bit on the drama.
things that made me happy this week:
- halloweeeeeen at fed with kat and quyen and everyone =) end october with a BANG.
- dinner with the clay38 girls haha... always a laugh and a half
- watching softball with jess and jackie
- lifesong
- the "food" four. aka jo kat and carson... pizzaaa and burger kingggg ... mmm =9
- being with the sA girls =) watching biography and eating pizza. oh pizza makes everything fine
- taco night!!! =) tacos and bacardi and hockey with maril, dev, raj, and taz (and rolvin and jo)
- shleeeepoverrrrr with alison =) although it wasn't quite "like that". quality time is always cherished. uninterupted, un-fourthwheeled quality time =) *grin*
- dling gilmore girls episodes *ohhhlovely*
aNNNddd i'm going to ottawa on friday!!!! wheeeee gonna see miss changggggg :D !!!
Monday, October 31, 2005
unexpected
well this weekend was... not as i had planned it. =P
but it was pretty fun anyways =)
for one thing, i watched the entire firstseason of desperate housewives *gah* laur was right... addictive.
something i liked:
"Listen to me. We all have moments of desperation. But if we face them head on, that's when we find out just how strong we really are." mary alice young (dhw)
and for another, i hung out with jo and kat alot this wknd... it was good to just be together... and THERE for eachtoher. and tonight we webcammed and talked to dora on speaker... it was a struggle but kreazeless having a semi conversation all together was nice =) ... even if it takes personal crises for these conversations to actually occur. tears were shed. bashing was done. love was sent and support was given. and stupidfun was had =)
gawd i miss us.
we started up this "girl's cell" thing... it was fun just to hang out with the kwcac girlies... ihope this thing flies.. that God will deepen and strengthen our friendships...
... dang though. there's still a little bit of me that wants a bit of partyyyy back... *grimace*
i don't regret things or anything just... yeah. if i could have both that would be nice.
well this weekend was... not as i had planned it. =P
but it was pretty fun anyways =)
for one thing, i watched the entire firstseason of desperate housewives *gah* laur was right... addictive.
something i liked:
"Listen to me. We all have moments of desperation. But if we face them head on, that's when we find out just how strong we really are." mary alice young (dhw)
and for another, i hung out with jo and kat alot this wknd... it was good to just be together... and THERE for eachtoher. and tonight we webcammed and talked to dora on speaker... it was a struggle but kreazeless having a semi conversation all together was nice =) ... even if it takes personal crises for these conversations to actually occur. tears were shed. bashing was done. love was sent and support was given. and stupidfun was had =)
gawd i miss us.
we started up this "girl's cell" thing... it was fun just to hang out with the kwcac girlies... ihope this thing flies.. that God will deepen and strengthen our friendships...
... dang though. there's still a little bit of me that wants a bit of partyyyy back... *grimace*
i don't regret things or anything just... yeah. if i could have both that would be nice.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Monday, October 24, 2005
school life
my econ midterm next week was cancelled!!! wheee!!! class has been cancelled for the past week ... so apparently the weights are going to be shifted. hopefully the first midterm will be worth a lot more becuase i actaully did well! i like having class with jess and dev... jess and i were gonna go shopping today to cheer us up but THEN we found out our enrollment aptmnts were today O_o...so we didn't go.. *sigh*
quest is frustrating.
but *pats self on back* i got into SPCOM223, HIST 113, PACS201, and PSYCH253 after liek an hour. *guuhhh* ... i still need one more course... i want ISS131R for my major but its not workiinggggg!!! should it really be this stressful to enroll in courses? i think not.
my econ midterm next week was cancelled!!! wheee!!! class has been cancelled for the past week ... so apparently the weights are going to be shifted. hopefully the first midterm will be worth a lot more becuase i actaully did well! i like having class with jess and dev... jess and i were gonna go shopping today to cheer us up but THEN we found out our enrollment aptmnts were today O_o...so we didn't go.. *sigh*
quest is frustrating.
but *pats self on back* i got into SPCOM223, HIST 113, PACS201, and PSYCH253 after liek an hour. *guuhhh* ... i still need one more course... i want ISS131R for my major but its not workiinggggg!!! should it really be this stressful to enroll in courses? i think not.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
sick
i have a runny nose and a cough... but i'm not talking about that. i am talking about the grossest most pathetic sickness you can have.... "love"sickness. not saying i am in LOVE persay. but i am pining for sure. gahhhh
"how do you cope when the one you love is with somebody else and there's nothign you can do about it?
i gotta take it though its heartbreaking... its something that i have to do ... but nobody said that it would hurt so bad so how do i deal without you? "-frankij
and my new theme song is "I Hate Myself For Losing You" by Kelly Clarkson.
i've done it! i've officially hit the bottom of the loser bucket. i am the tiger woods of patheticness. *tear tear tear* hahaha
i have a runny nose and a cough... but i'm not talking about that. i am talking about the grossest most pathetic sickness you can have.... "love"sickness. not saying i am in LOVE persay. but i am pining for sure. gahhhh
"how do you cope when the one you love is with somebody else and there's nothign you can do about it?
i gotta take it though its heartbreaking... its something that i have to do ... but nobody said that it would hurt so bad so how do i deal without you? "-frankij
and my new theme song is "I Hate Myself For Losing You" by Kelly Clarkson.
i've done it! i've officially hit the bottom of the loser bucket. i am the tiger woods of patheticness. *tear tear tear* hahaha
Friday, October 21, 2005
"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall"
2Peter 1:5-10
Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall"
2Peter 1:5-10
Sunday, October 16, 2005
SAVED!!!!
this week has been rescued by saturday and sunday!!! =)
saturday:
went over to alison's for lunch =) she made me foooood! check it out =) my girl can coook!! yayyyyyyy :D thank youuuuu
and thennnn at night laur and i went to mikey's, then chillngrill, then PHIL'S!! hahhaa.. ok so the place is so dirty but aside from the CREEP that hit on me it was funn!!!! hahhaa.. spent the night talking to randoms, walking down university, and just being crazyyy =) lol ran into a bunch of ppl tooo on the way i saw robyn!(my friend from highschool who i haven't seen in over a year) =) jo, (the best person ever) came to pick me up at like 3am and we went over to laura's and just chatted iwth her and krista for a bit. all in all i was just so happy to go have fun and get AWAY from the "usual crowd" i guess... sometimes i just need a break. and i miss ppl.
sunday:
after church jo and i went for lunch with EVIE!!!! who was up from sauga for the wknd! yay! and then tonight we studied at dp and had dinner with kat, laura, bily, victor, jt, lil chris, and doug =) and hung out with laura a bit at her place and just caught up cuz its been a while. =)
anyways i know this was kind of a "i did this and then this and then this" kind of blog but i had a good weekend and i really needed it so i jsut wanted to write it down.
this week has been rescued by saturday and sunday!!! =)
saturday:
went over to alison's for lunch =) she made me foooood! check it out =) my girl can coook!! yayyyyyyy :D thank youuuuu
and thennnn at night laur and i went to mikey's, then chillngrill, then PHIL'S!! hahhaa.. ok so the place is so dirty but aside from the CREEP that hit on me it was funn!!!! hahhaa.. spent the night talking to randoms, walking down university, and just being crazyyy =) lol ran into a bunch of ppl tooo on the way i saw robyn!(my friend from highschool who i haven't seen in over a year) =) jo, (the best person ever) came to pick me up at like 3am and we went over to laura's and just chatted iwth her and krista for a bit. all in all i was just so happy to go have fun and get AWAY from the "usual crowd" i guess... sometimes i just need a break. and i miss ppl.
sunday:
after church jo and i went for lunch with EVIE!!!! who was up from sauga for the wknd! yay! and then tonight we studied at dp and had dinner with kat, laura, bily, victor, jt, lil chris, and doug =) and hung out with laura a bit at her place and just caught up cuz its been a while. =)
anyways i know this was kind of a "i did this and then this and then this" kind of blog but i had a good weekend and i really needed it so i jsut wanted to write it down.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
hot chocolate
last year, one of the most comforting things was HOT CHOCOLATE. eric man gave me hotchocolate mix stolen from wcri cafe haha in large quantities. and kat and i had a culligan water dispenser than gave us boiled water at the push of a button. that meant that ANYTIME i wanted i could jsut grab a mug, push a button, and VOILA a cup of nice steamy hotchocolate all without even leaving my room.
hot chocolate is one of the greatest things about the weather getting colder.
last year, one of the most comforting things was HOT CHOCOLATE. eric man gave me hotchocolate mix stolen from wcri cafe haha in large quantities. and kat and i had a culligan water dispenser than gave us boiled water at the push of a button. that meant that ANYTIME i wanted i could jsut grab a mug, push a button, and VOILA a cup of nice steamy hotchocolate all without even leaving my room.hot chocolate is one of the greatest things about the weather getting colder.
Monday, October 10, 2005
fun
Thanksgiving weekend was FUN =) and i dind't expect it to be considering people were going home stuff. I got to spend a BIT of time with my family which was good but we kept being invited to people's places for dinner so we never really had our OWN thanksgiving dinner. and i dind't really go to the other ppls places cuz... that would have been too boring. it's weird, i actually was upset that my family dind't get to have dinner together beucase i really liked them this weekend haha.
however, the cool thing was jo, jackie, and andrew were here!! soooo we got to chill a bit =) girls went to the mall and then me jo and andrew watched O and then today the four of us (after i convinced jackie not to be a recluse haha) went to see flight plan =) the movie was ok but it was just good to laugh with good friends =)
Thanksgiving weekend was FUN =) and i dind't expect it to be considering people were going home stuff. I got to spend a BIT of time with my family which was good but we kept being invited to people's places for dinner so we never really had our OWN thanksgiving dinner. and i dind't really go to the other ppls places cuz... that would have been too boring. it's weird, i actually was upset that my family dind't get to have dinner together beucase i really liked them this weekend haha.
however, the cool thing was jo, jackie, and andrew were here!! soooo we got to chill a bit =) girls went to the mall and then me jo and andrew watched O and then today the four of us (after i convinced jackie not to be a recluse haha) went to see flight plan =) the movie was ok but it was just good to laugh with good friends =)
Saturday, October 08, 2005
thankyou
back in highschool, when i used to take science (up til grade 12!!) ... i learned that there is a constant "pressure" on all of us. i think i erased the actual "science" behind this from my mind haha but there is. there's a certain amount of pressure on every single part of our bodies all the time. and we don't feel it becuase we're jsut so used to it.
i think that sometimes in life, you have the most amazing things but you don't see them becuase you're just used to them being there that you think they "should" be.
some from my own life:
- living in Canada. people are just BORN into wealth. me and clara were talking about it the other day... how there's all this exploitation of people in third world countries... people's living standards are SO low ... not even talking about sweat shops or child labour... and why? why should we get to be so much more comfortable than them? no reason. we were just born this way.
- friends that tolerate the insanity i sometimes display. especially one who has tolerated it for 16 years ... we FREAK at eachother. unreasonably sometimes. we pull we push we change our minds... we are probably ruder to eachother than to anyone else we know. yet... i don't know anyone else (aside from family) who's stood by me for longer.
- school. i think alot of people would die to get the chance to go to school. i am so blessed with the mental capacity (no matter how NOT smart i think i am) and the means. i'm acutally really enjoying my classes this term too.
- chances. God gives me soooo many. people give me so many. it's bad. i've gotten used to it. screw up, another chance, screw up again, and another chance... its something i'm thankful i've had so far but something i hope i won't need as much in the future.
usually i'd list out little thigns that make me happy, little events that brighten up my life... people i love who love me back. but jsut this year i wanted to look at those... BIG things. people odn't really look at the big things anymore. the PALACE you live in that you can't see because you're just too consumed with whether the floor is shiny or dull. happy thanksgiving.
back in highschool, when i used to take science (up til grade 12!!) ... i learned that there is a constant "pressure" on all of us. i think i erased the actual "science" behind this from my mind haha but there is. there's a certain amount of pressure on every single part of our bodies all the time. and we don't feel it becuase we're jsut so used to it.
i think that sometimes in life, you have the most amazing things but you don't see them becuase you're just used to them being there that you think they "should" be.
some from my own life:
- living in Canada. people are just BORN into wealth. me and clara were talking about it the other day... how there's all this exploitation of people in third world countries... people's living standards are SO low ... not even talking about sweat shops or child labour... and why? why should we get to be so much more comfortable than them? no reason. we were just born this way.
- friends that tolerate the insanity i sometimes display. especially one who has tolerated it for 16 years ... we FREAK at eachother. unreasonably sometimes. we pull we push we change our minds... we are probably ruder to eachother than to anyone else we know. yet... i don't know anyone else (aside from family) who's stood by me for longer.
- school. i think alot of people would die to get the chance to go to school. i am so blessed with the mental capacity (no matter how NOT smart i think i am) and the means. i'm acutally really enjoying my classes this term too.
- chances. God gives me soooo many. people give me so many. it's bad. i've gotten used to it. screw up, another chance, screw up again, and another chance... its something i'm thankful i've had so far but something i hope i won't need as much in the future.
usually i'd list out little thigns that make me happy, little events that brighten up my life... people i love who love me back. but jsut this year i wanted to look at those... BIG things. people odn't really look at the big things anymore. the PALACE you live in that you can't see because you're just too consumed with whether the floor is shiny or dull. happy thanksgiving.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
studying
haha studying with jess is so funny and great lol that is all =)
dinner
tempura... mmmmmmm i like charlie's lunchbox. had dinner with kat todaya dn the weiiiirdest thing happened. all of a sudden, kat spaces out... and goes:
"good morning ladies... good MORNING kathryn"
:| ... O_O ..... what the crap!?!?!? lol
babbling
oh man... i talked about accountability at frosh cell today and i never realized how much i babble when i'm nervous. i wanted to ducttape my mouth shut. i pretty much told them i 1. go clubbing 2. swear 3. drink... not in those words obviously and that wasnt' the meaning i was trying to convey but it came out so wrong and i kept correcting myself eeeeek hopefully ppl dont' think i'm really corrupt now.
i really wanted to say (and i hope in some way i did) how much God works through prayer support and brothers and sisters in christ sharing intimately.
putting it into practice
so after i TALKED about accountability... went over to alison's and shared and prayed with alison, jackie, laura, kat, jo, and clara =) it was good to catch up and say "how can we help you?" becuase sometimes... we need not only to talk but to put our words into action. and find out what tangable ways we can give of ourselves. i'm praying for you girls.
this week, i will look at the BLESSINGS in my life... oh hey, it's thanksgiving afterall! ... THANKYOU. =)
haha studying with jess is so funny and great lol that is all =)
dinner
tempura... mmmmmmm i like charlie's lunchbox. had dinner with kat todaya dn the weiiiirdest thing happened. all of a sudden, kat spaces out... and goes:
"good morning ladies...
:| ... O_O ..... what the crap!?!?!? lol
babbling
oh man... i talked about accountability at frosh cell today and i never realized how much i babble when i'm nervous. i wanted to ducttape my mouth shut. i pretty much told them i 1. go clubbing 2. swear 3. drink... not in those words obviously and that wasnt' the meaning i was trying to convey but it came out so wrong and i kept correcting myself eeeeek hopefully ppl dont' think i'm really corrupt now.
i really wanted to say (and i hope in some way i did) how much God works through prayer support and brothers and sisters in christ sharing intimately.
putting it into practice
so after i TALKED about accountability... went over to alison's and shared and prayed with alison, jackie, laura, kat, jo, and clara =) it was good to catch up and say "how can we help you?" becuase sometimes... we need not only to talk but to put our words into action. and find out what tangable ways we can give of ourselves. i'm praying for you girls.
this week, i will look at the BLESSINGS in my life... oh hey, it's thanksgiving afterall! ... THANKYOU. =)
Monday, October 03, 2005
Friday, September 30, 2005
no time like girl time
the latest from UWP =P :
--while dev, maril, chris, quyen, and i are playing "up the mountain" and "crazy 8's for alchy's"---
marilyn: guys... my BUTT is warm.
quyen: it's probably red like your face.... like a BABOON!!!
quyen (as she walks to her room to get something): whoa.. i can feel my liquour jiggling!
janna says "focus on the positive" sooo hahaha i've been sleeping at uwplace alot and just bumming here alot which i guess is the bonus of living at home and not having a ride to school on fridays. lots of sleepovers a lot of chill nights hehe
mmm =) i want pizza.
the latest from UWP =P :
--while dev, maril, chris, quyen, and i are playing "up the mountain" and "crazy 8's for alchy's"---
marilyn: guys... my BUTT is warm.
quyen: it's probably red like your face.... like a BABOON!!!
quyen (as she walks to her room to get something): whoa.. i can feel my liquour jiggling!
janna says "focus on the positive" sooo hahaha i've been sleeping at uwplace alot and just bumming here alot which i guess is the bonus of living at home and not having a ride to school on fridays. lots of sleepovers a lot of chill nights hehe
mmm =) i want pizza.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
tuesday
it's tuesday... so why do i feel like its gonna be a not so terrific day?
sick
thursday: fed/sweet dreams/homemade screwdrivers =P
friday: dave's party/dev's
saturday: element's (gahhhhh... a horror all on its own)
monday: bubble tease
i am dead sick of going out. i'm really not a party girl despite semi-popular belief. i'm a lounge around with a couple of friends in our pj's watching movies and eating pizza kinda girl. :P
EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeee
although i AM sick of going out... i can not by any means contain my excitement.
right now at slc, they are currently setting up for a connnncerrttttt tonight in which a number of bands will be playing including Bedouin Soundclash!!!!!(which if you didn't know are artists of "When the Night Feels My Song" and my current favourites "Music My Rock" and "Shadow of a Man") omggggggggg =D =D =D
paid psych experiments
the psych computer must really like me because i keep getting picked for experiments! i did one yesterday that paid $5 and am doing another one today that also pays $5
mmm money,., haaa i need a job.
it's tuesday... so why do i feel like its gonna be a not so terrific day?
sick
thursday: fed/sweet dreams/homemade screwdrivers =P
friday: dave's party/dev's
saturday: element's (gahhhhh... a horror all on its own)
monday: bubble tease
i am dead sick of going out. i'm really not a party girl despite semi-popular belief. i'm a lounge around with a couple of friends in our pj's watching movies and eating pizza kinda girl. :P
EEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeee
although i AM sick of going out... i can not by any means contain my excitement.
right now at slc, they are currently setting up for a connnncerrttttt tonight in which a number of bands will be playing including Bedouin Soundclash!!!!!(which if you didn't know are artists of "When the Night Feels My Song" and my current favourites "Music My Rock" and "Shadow of a Man") omggggggggg =D =D =D
paid psych experiments
the psych computer must really like me because i keep getting picked for experiments! i did one yesterday that paid $5 and am doing another one today that also pays $5
mmm money,., haaa i need a job.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
come clean
WHY is hilary duff unable to sing with ANY power behind her voice???!!! WHY does she not get ANY louder from the verse to the chorus? anndddd WHY do the lyrics not make any sense??!
family
haha i had a good talk with my parents today over dinner... which was nice because i pretty much haven't seen my parents for a week... cuz i just leave in the morning and come home late at night when everyone is already sleeping... and actually i haven't slept at home for the past three days. but yeah. it was good to catch up .
school
i finally bought my books today.
i'm really excited about PACS on wed nights.. haha me and chuckie hate enduring 3 hours of class BUT this wed it's gonna be good i think.. there's gonna be a guest speaker who started this organization called "Gold Star Families for Peace" becuase her son was killed in iraq. and also, we're supposed to watch a video about Ghandi.
haha i'm a nerd but i like learning about stuff i care about.
i'm a nerd. butttttt .... at least i'm not in chem/space club!!! BAhahaha
WHY is hilary duff unable to sing with ANY power behind her voice???!!! WHY does she not get ANY louder from the verse to the chorus? anndddd WHY do the lyrics not make any sense??!
family
haha i had a good talk with my parents today over dinner... which was nice because i pretty much haven't seen my parents for a week... cuz i just leave in the morning and come home late at night when everyone is already sleeping... and actually i haven't slept at home for the past three days. but yeah. it was good to catch up .
school
i finally bought my books today.
i'm really excited about PACS on wed nights.. haha me and chuckie hate enduring 3 hours of class BUT this wed it's gonna be good i think.. there's gonna be a guest speaker who started this organization called "Gold Star Families for Peace" becuase her son was killed in iraq. and also, we're supposed to watch a video about Ghandi.
haha i'm a nerd but i like learning about stuff i care about.
i'm a nerd. butttttt .... at least i'm not in chem/space club!!! BAhahaha
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
september smiles
people tell me i'm too depressing on here.---
good things are not completely non existent in my life =) ... just gotta look at the little details to find them.
These one point five weeks have not been NEARLY as boring as i anticipated. =) Part of that, is due to the fact that there have been like FOUR birthdays within the course of a week haha... which were fun but now i think i'm beginning to hate large groups of people. which is why i've CHERISHED one on one/two interaction. from fondue with christy bashing boys, to clayfield "studying" with alison and/or clara, to chicken teriyaki with janna and laura, to kershaw bumming at jackie's, to wednesday nights with chuckie, to grill/hmving with jiffy, to tuesdays with alison back at sch or just bumming at her apartment. something about heart to hearts lying around on couches or w/e. or laughing at webcam pictures or CRYING haha about poems... =) i NEED those moments.
you know what's funny? CLARA.
- ugly noises have now been "overpowered" by our love for CRYING noises/gestures. (mew mewmew, tear, and etc hahhaah)
- whiteninjacomics.com ... are making a comeback!! THIGHMASTER! "but don't eat it! it'll go straight to your thighs!" lol
- SPACE CLUB! ... well ... chem club too!!! who joins these clubs?? ... nerds you say? NO! my FRIENDS. lol ... oh wait, apparently nerds and my friends have become one and the same =)
what else...
haha jess and our obsession with OC and SUMMER hahah..
OH!!! hahahahahhaha... and also, laura's "ah bee" doll... CREEPY.
tomorrow me and dev are gonna make maeghan's banana bread. =) sweeeet.
so you see, or should i say, so *i* see, that there are some pretty fun things happening this term despite some of my frustrations.
even those times when i have absolutely nothing to do i pull out Tuesdays With Morrie that laur got me for my birthday and just soak myself in this book which btw is AWESOME. so good that i really REALLY dont' want to finish but i only have like 2 chapters left *sighs*
people tell me i'm too depressing on here.---
good things are not completely non existent in my life =) ... just gotta look at the little details to find them.
These one point five weeks have not been NEARLY as boring as i anticipated. =) Part of that, is due to the fact that there have been like FOUR birthdays within the course of a week haha... which were fun but now i think i'm beginning to hate large groups of people. which is why i've CHERISHED one on one/two interaction. from fondue with christy bashing boys, to clayfield "studying" with alison and/or clara, to chicken teriyaki with janna and laura, to kershaw bumming at jackie's, to wednesday nights with chuckie, to grill/hmving with jiffy, to tuesdays with alison back at sch or just bumming at her apartment. something about heart to hearts lying around on couches or w/e. or laughing at webcam pictures or CRYING haha about poems... =) i NEED those moments.
you know what's funny? CLARA.
- ugly noises have now been "overpowered" by our love for CRYING noises/gestures. (mew mewmew, tear, and etc hahhaah)
- whiteninjacomics.com ... are making a comeback!! THIGHMASTER! "but don't eat it! it'll go straight to your thighs!" lol
- SPACE CLUB! ... well ... chem club too!!! who joins these clubs?? ... nerds you say? NO! my FRIENDS. lol ... oh wait, apparently nerds and my friends have become one and the same =)
what else...
haha jess and our obsession with OC and SUMMER hahah..
OH!!! hahahahahhaha... and also, laura's "ah bee" doll... CREEPY.
tomorrow me and dev are gonna make maeghan's banana bread. =) sweeeet.
so you see, or should i say, so *i* see, that there are some pretty fun things happening this term despite some of my frustrations.
even those times when i have absolutely nothing to do i pull out Tuesdays With Morrie that laur got me for my birthday and just soak myself in this book which btw is AWESOME. so good that i really REALLY dont' want to finish but i only have like 2 chapters left *sighs*
Friday, September 16, 2005
nineteen
became legal on the 15th =) haha ate some chicken teriyaki at soeul soul, shopped a bit, had a family dinner, excercised my rights a bit at caesar martini's...
but mostly it was really great becuase i got to see pretty much everrrrryyyyyone and spend time with people which is waht acutally makes me happy =).
anyhow, pictures speak louder tahn words anyways so go look at http://spaces.msn.com/members/jasy =)
here's a sample:
became legal on the 15th =) haha ate some chicken teriyaki at soeul soul, shopped a bit, had a family dinner, excercised my rights a bit at caesar martini's...
but mostly it was really great becuase i got to see pretty much everrrrryyyyyone and spend time with people which is waht acutally makes me happy =).
anyhow, pictures speak louder tahn words anyways so go look at http://spaces.msn.com/members/jasy =)
here's a sample:
Monday, September 12, 2005
words from mother geese and partners in crime, pinks and blues... and the start of a new term.(2a)
deep breaths.
"it's called change. and yes, i know you hate this, but you also know you can't stop it. so you have a choice, you can sit and cry and screaming and be miserable, and it will still happen. or you can try to keep being strong and keep moving forward, while it still happens."
moomoobear: : but... but it's just so much easier to sit
and cry and scream... cry especially.
"oh i know it is. but i want you to remember how when you've done that before, you've felt dumb for doing that. so it's up to you. and if you choose to do the first, then you're also making the choice to have to deal with yourself after the fact and you are not allowed to wish you didn't do something..becuase YOU made the choice.
"pain is weakness leaving the body.. but outlasting is weakness leaving the mind." you can outlast this.. strength.. you're building it.. don't let things break you down. build up your strength so u can't be broken down."
english 102b.... novels and poetry. i loved.
THIS ... is still the same novel. we're just on a different chapter. in a different setting, okay so i liked last chapter's setting better. but the characters are still the same. they evolve. some appear less than i'd like. but it's still the same novel by the same Author and it can still breathe POETRY.
welcome 2A.
deep breaths.
"it's called change. and yes, i know you hate this, but you also know you can't stop it. so you have a choice, you can sit and cry and screaming and be miserable, and it will still happen. or you can try to keep being strong and keep moving forward, while it still happens."
moomoobear: : but... but it's just so much easier to sit
and cry and scream... cry especially.
"oh i know it is. but i want you to remember how when you've done that before, you've felt dumb for doing that. so it's up to you. and if you choose to do the first, then you're also making the choice to have to deal with yourself after the fact and you are not allowed to wish you didn't do something..becuase YOU made the choice.
"pain is weakness leaving the body.. but outlasting is weakness leaving the mind." you can outlast this.. strength.. you're building it.. don't let things break you down. build up your strength so u can't be broken down."
english 102b.... novels and poetry. i loved.
THIS ... is still the same novel. we're just on a different chapter. in a different setting, okay so i liked last chapter's setting better. but the characters are still the same. they evolve. some appear less than i'd like. but it's still the same novel by the same Author and it can still breathe POETRY.
welcome 2A.
Saturday, September 10, 2005
since i have nothing left to lose i dont' mind bearing my soul right now in order to get a little peace inside my mind. go ahead, tear me apart, i've already done that to myself so it doesnt' matter what you say really, it can barely hurt me anymore.
i feel like i can't turn 19 next week because i dont' deserve to celebrate.
what is this life?! ... what is there to celebrate about it?!?!?!?!! WHAT!?!?!?
not a thing.
when i woke up on thursday morning and remmebered wednesday night, it was clear to me that God had seen this big picture all along. that all i had tried to fight for had been in vain and that i hadn't heard him as clearly as i thought i had. does anyone know how humbling that is? to know that something you felt SO strongly convicted about was a total joke? that YOU are a total joke. that you proved all these people right beucase you thought you could but you can't.
okay so i admit it. i'm a screw up but that doensn't change how much it hurts.
it doesn't change what i still want fromt he bottom of my heart.
it doens't change how much it hurts to disappoint God or disappoint people who care for you. or yourself.
it seems like i'm too difficult for eveyrone. sorry that i can't be enough that i can't say or do the right things. sorry that i make you mad or annoyed or sad or frustrated. sorry that i put you in positions or tell you things that hurt you.
i feel like everyone's on the VERGE of leaving me by the wayside beucase they jsut dont' have the patience for me anymore. some have abandoned me once before and hey you're pretty much doing it again so GO. GO FOR IT GO. but i dont' mean that at all. beucase i want you to stay.
tell me you still love me and that everything will be okay.
but you can't.
i feel like i can't turn 19 next week because i dont' deserve to celebrate.
what is this life?! ... what is there to celebrate about it?!?!?!?!! WHAT!?!?!?
not a thing.
when i woke up on thursday morning and remmebered wednesday night, it was clear to me that God had seen this big picture all along. that all i had tried to fight for had been in vain and that i hadn't heard him as clearly as i thought i had. does anyone know how humbling that is? to know that something you felt SO strongly convicted about was a total joke? that YOU are a total joke. that you proved all these people right beucase you thought you could but you can't.
okay so i admit it. i'm a screw up but that doensn't change how much it hurts.
it doesn't change what i still want fromt he bottom of my heart.
it doens't change how much it hurts to disappoint God or disappoint people who care for you. or yourself.
it seems like i'm too difficult for eveyrone. sorry that i can't be enough that i can't say or do the right things. sorry that i make you mad or annoyed or sad or frustrated. sorry that i put you in positions or tell you things that hurt you.
i feel like everyone's on the VERGE of leaving me by the wayside beucase they jsut dont' have the patience for me anymore. some have abandoned me once before and hey you're pretty much doing it again so GO. GO FOR IT GO. but i dont' mean that at all. beucase i want you to stay.
tell me you still love me and that everything will be okay.
but you can't.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
different but familiar
it's been pretty cool the past two days... alison moved in yesterday so i went over to try and semi help and just to hang out so ended up bumming around and then emz came over from next door cuz she just moved in on sat night for frosh week hahha the best thing was when we were leaving beck from visiting jon and we were all freaking out about how creepy the area was and about the exorcism of emily rose hahaha i dunno. it's just good to laugh.
then we went back to my place and watched a walk to remember and just talked the night away ... well alison and i talked the night away haha emz passed out lol
it's just... this summer the only time we've really gotten to talk was on the phone or msn beucase whenever we see eachother it's almost ALWAYS in a big group of people so... that was really refreshing. then today laura picked me up and we went to see her new place which is soooo nice haha we ate white cheddar kd mmmmm -_-... and just bummed around some more which was also really nice becuase it has also been a long while.
i guess the point is.... it's difficult. it's difficult knowing that we all dont' live rigth down the hall or 1 minute away from eachother anymore. it's hard walking into ppls roooms that don't smell like them or how it used to smell last year or hug pillows that are in rooms that are not the same. pillows that carry memories of insane times... times that i miss. the COOL thing, is that these people are still my friends. and i'm trying hard to trust that things will be okay. but i can't help but wish that there was some ... solid.. thing. something that would show me "dont' worry. things will be okay. things won't disappear. and people won't leave."
give me first yearrrrrr >_<
it's been pretty cool the past two days... alison moved in yesterday so i went over to try and semi help and just to hang out so ended up bumming around and then emz came over from next door cuz she just moved in on sat night for frosh week hahha the best thing was when we were leaving beck from visiting jon and we were all freaking out about how creepy the area was and about the exorcism of emily rose hahaha i dunno. it's just good to laugh.
then we went back to my place and watched a walk to remember and just talked the night away ... well alison and i talked the night away haha emz passed out lol
it's just... this summer the only time we've really gotten to talk was on the phone or msn beucase whenever we see eachother it's almost ALWAYS in a big group of people so... that was really refreshing. then today laura picked me up and we went to see her new place which is soooo nice haha we ate white cheddar kd mmmmm -_-... and just bummed around some more which was also really nice becuase it has also been a long while.
i guess the point is.... it's difficult. it's difficult knowing that we all dont' live rigth down the hall or 1 minute away from eachother anymore. it's hard walking into ppls roooms that don't smell like them or how it used to smell last year or hug pillows that are in rooms that are not the same. pillows that carry memories of insane times... times that i miss. the COOL thing, is that these people are still my friends. and i'm trying hard to trust that things will be okay. but i can't help but wish that there was some ... solid.. thing. something that would show me "dont' worry. things will be okay. things won't disappear. and people won't leave."
give me first yearrrrrr >_<
Sunday, September 04, 2005
=) : i spent the ENTIRE day PAINTING. not only painting but painting "allie from the Notebook" style (i'll let you figure out what that means). it's been so long since i've been "in the zone" .. it's crazy. it was great. stuck a sign on my door saying "painting aka meditating. do not disturb" and just shut out the world. i even went offline on msn haha ...
turned out oooookayyyy ... but i still have to put some finishing touches on it ...
=( : ... wow. ouch. ha... so the only thing to do right now ISSSSS... listen to Janice sing "Dai Goh" ... haha
woooopdiidooooo ...
and maybe a bit of raspberry?
turned out oooookayyyy ... but i still have to put some finishing touches on it ...
=( : ... wow. ouch. ha... so the only thing to do right now ISSSSS... listen to Janice sing "Dai Goh" ... haha
woooopdiidooooo ...
and maybe a bit of raspberry?
Saturday, September 03, 2005
i can't say this is my favourite summer i've ever had
i can't say that i did a lot of exciting things
or any?
but when it comes down to it, i really dont' want it to end
i want a few more days to bum, tan, PAINT.
a few more days of solitude
sadness even
fall... what is fall?
ALREADY proven worthless. already proven barren.
trust already broken and old habits resurfacing... this time, to be faced alone.
in a sense, i don't even want to turn 19.
i can't say that i did a lot of exciting things
or any?
but when it comes down to it, i really dont' want it to end
i want a few more days to bum, tan, PAINT.
a few more days of solitude
sadness even
fall... what is fall?
ALREADY proven worthless. already proven barren.
trust already broken and old habits resurfacing... this time, to be faced alone.
in a sense, i don't even want to turn 19.
Friday, September 02, 2005
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
mark it on the wall
The past three weeks i tried to convince myself to hate with intensity instead of love.
and then i realized i couldn't because i blamed myself more than i blamed you.
becuase i knew no matter how hard i tried i could never hate you and
because there is already so much bad in life, stuff i couldn't see and you couldn't see,
why i should i have brought even MORE bad in? becuase i was hurt? angry? regretful?
I think alot of the time we try to shut things out or overpower pain and heartache with venom and spite and anger.
Sometimes it's just easier that way. Hiding out until the storm passes.
Thing is, it never passes.
Someone wise once told me "Happiness is not a destination, it is a manner of travelling".
I've been trying to detach from my emotions. Experience then detach.
and it's hard. but something i'm learning and wanted to write down.
i dont' know what the point of this was except to say... for the first time in 3.5 weeks,
my heart doesn't feel lke it's falling into my stomach.
and it's a relief but i dont' want to just walk away saying to myself "yay it's over let's move on"
i want to walk away thinking ok. this happened. and next time maybe i won't fall as hard.
maybe i'll recognize it and it won't hurt as much.
The past three weeks i tried to convince myself to hate with intensity instead of love.
and then i realized i couldn't because i blamed myself more than i blamed you.
becuase i knew no matter how hard i tried i could never hate you and
because there is already so much bad in life, stuff i couldn't see and you couldn't see,
why i should i have brought even MORE bad in? becuase i was hurt? angry? regretful?
I think alot of the time we try to shut things out or overpower pain and heartache with venom and spite and anger.
Sometimes it's just easier that way. Hiding out until the storm passes.
Thing is, it never passes.
Someone wise once told me "Happiness is not a destination, it is a manner of travelling".
I've been trying to detach from my emotions. Experience then detach.
and it's hard. but something i'm learning and wanted to write down.
i dont' know what the point of this was except to say... for the first time in 3.5 weeks,
my heart doesn't feel lke it's falling into my stomach.
and it's a relief but i dont' want to just walk away saying to myself "yay it's over let's move on"
i want to walk away thinking ok. this happened. and next time maybe i won't fall as hard.
maybe i'll recognize it and it won't hurt as much.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Thursday, August 11, 2005
annnnnnnnnd DONE.
history 253 is oVERRRrrr! studied my BUTT off AND i got a good amount of sleep! like FOUR hours thanks to kristina who let me crash at mkv =) *thanks*
annnnnnnnnd i made it back in time for 1/2 hr of vbs =) hehe
which is really getting better and better every single day. i'm really gonna miss it.
undecisive
should i stay in toronto sat nite? or should i come back for sunday?
see the kids are doing the service on sunday... but do i sacrife an entire DAY in toronto for ONE hour of being with the kids? ... blahhhhh i want both :*(
my song in a different context
"I know it's been heavy on your mind
Baby, give him up, he's not worth your time
Where is it that it says you need a guy
Well, you don't need his love to justify your life
So, he can go, let him go, make him go
You should want him to" - boyz ii men
and now...
things to do now that i have no more school =) ...
- finish fx insight
- go to toronto!!!! (for fx but ALSO to see my girls)
- hang out with kat and mo before they leave for hk tomorrow
- PAINT =) (i think i'm gonna do an oil)
- decorate my room. tear down the wallpaper? mmmm =)
and right now i'm going to eat some pizza :D i like being in a good mood. haha
history 253 is oVERRRrrr! studied my BUTT off AND i got a good amount of sleep! like FOUR hours thanks to kristina who let me crash at mkv =) *thanks*
annnnnnnnnd i made it back in time for 1/2 hr of vbs =) hehe
which is really getting better and better every single day. i'm really gonna miss it.
undecisive
should i stay in toronto sat nite? or should i come back for sunday?
see the kids are doing the service on sunday... but do i sacrife an entire DAY in toronto for ONE hour of being with the kids? ... blahhhhh i want both :*(
my song in a different context
"I know it's been heavy on your mind
Baby, give him up, he's not worth your time
Where is it that it says you need a guy
Well, you don't need his love to justify your life
So, he can go, let him go, make him go
You should want him to" - boyz ii men
and now...
things to do now that i have no more school =) ...
- finish fx insight
- go to toronto!!!! (for fx but ALSO to see my girls)
- hang out with kat and mo before they leave for hk tomorrow
- PAINT =) (i think i'm gonna do an oil)
- decorate my room. tear down the wallpaper? mmmm =)
and right now i'm going to eat some pizza :D i like being in a good mood. haha
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
vbs
wow. He answers prayer.
"Talk to God"
"WOW!"
it IS wow.
i've used the word wow four times already in this blog haha
but seeing God work through vbs... seeing the changes in ME today.
just... wow.
SLC
in the slc studying for my exam on thursday *gross*
but it's cool cuz i'm semi studying with derek. ok so we're not really INTERACTING but that is okay becauseeeee yeah i haven't hung out with him barely at all this term so it's cool to even see him =)
and bily tooo but sort of cuz he's on the other side of the room. haha
sleep and timmy's
less sleep, more timmy's
awww i miss rez life.
wow. He answers prayer.
"Talk to God"
"WOW!"
it IS wow.
i've used the word wow four times already in this blog haha
but seeing God work through vbs... seeing the changes in ME today.
just... wow.
SLC
in the slc studying for my exam on thursday *gross*
but it's cool cuz i'm semi studying with derek. ok so we're not really INTERACTING but that is okay becauseeeee yeah i haven't hung out with him barely at all this term so it's cool to even see him =)
and bily tooo but sort of cuz he's on the other side of the room. haha
sleep and timmy's
less sleep, more timmy's
awww i miss rez life.
Monday, August 08, 2005
Thursday, August 04, 2005
passion
i know what i want to do with my life.
i've been saying it for years but never realized teh actual POSSIBILITY... it's POSSIBLE. i wanna go to a developing country or impoverished area. i want to help kids. well... not ONLY kids but mainly kids. and i want to make a difference. not for a few days... few months but for my whole life i want to help in creating some positive affect on people who struggle with things people here take for granted.
it's just crazy cause i was reading brian's latest blog entry and i made a comment on how i wanna go on a holiday... and then i scrolled down and read his entry about the kids he met at Longlac and i wished with all my heart that i could be doing something like that at this exact moment instead of sitting here at slc reading history stuff... and then just... i'm just crying now. because i CAN. it's not just some silly dream. i can finish university and GO. i'm taking a Peace and Conflict Studies course in the fall. maeghan (my don) did a minor in that and you can take a certain number of courses and get overseas credits and they help you find an organization and raise funds to get you out there. my don just graduated and she's back to africa soon to work with people in aids awareness and prevention and work at a women's shelter. seriously, i cried when she told me she knew i would go eventually. and i'm crying now at actually realizing the very real possibility i could do the only thing i really want to do.
i know what i want to do with my life.
i've been saying it for years but never realized teh actual POSSIBILITY... it's POSSIBLE. i wanna go to a developing country or impoverished area. i want to help kids. well... not ONLY kids but mainly kids. and i want to make a difference. not for a few days... few months but for my whole life i want to help in creating some positive affect on people who struggle with things people here take for granted.
it's just crazy cause i was reading brian's latest blog entry and i made a comment on how i wanna go on a holiday... and then i scrolled down and read his entry about the kids he met at Longlac and i wished with all my heart that i could be doing something like that at this exact moment instead of sitting here at slc reading history stuff... and then just... i'm just crying now. because i CAN. it's not just some silly dream. i can finish university and GO. i'm taking a Peace and Conflict Studies course in the fall. maeghan (my don) did a minor in that and you can take a certain number of courses and get overseas credits and they help you find an organization and raise funds to get you out there. my don just graduated and she's back to africa soon to work with people in aids awareness and prevention and work at a women's shelter. seriously, i cried when she told me she knew i would go eventually. and i'm crying now at actually realizing the very real possibility i could do the only thing i really want to do.
Friday, July 29, 2005
thankyou! ... thanks dp for fixing my computer!!! although now i think i did something to wmp *sigh*
off to toronto ... my eumie's getting marrieeeeed!
what's worse? ... not saying anything becuase you know that's best but having them think you're just a jerk? or saying something so they know why you act the way you do but ruining everything at the same time?
haha yesterday jo kat and i went to stag shop... disturbed. deeply disturbed. and kat kept bumping into the penis piniata (sp?) lol
off to toronto ... my eumie's getting marrieeeeed!
what's worse? ... not saying anything becuase you know that's best but having them think you're just a jerk? or saying something so they know why you act the way you do but ruining everything at the same time?
haha yesterday jo kat and i went to stag shop... disturbed. deeply disturbed. and kat kept bumping into the penis piniata (sp?) lol
Thursday, July 28, 2005
the downfalls of having a broken computer are ... well, for one you have to use your family's really really slow one for everything. and i have no lap top so i am just stuck in this room on this slow computer trying to finish this stupid paper. i think i've lost my touch. i need to take a break. if i didn't, i think i might have face planted into my book. losing it i tell ya... so sad. although, i enjoy english essays a lot more than history becuase english gives you mcuh more of an opportunity for bs. =)
the second thing is i have no music on this computer. so i use wm guide to listen to songs off the internet and since i am writing a paper and do not have the time to continually change the song, i have been listening to the same song for an hour straight. i know i usually overplay songs but it's different when you do it on purpose and when you don't.
and i can't photoshop. *death* ... and i miss rez allnighters becuase at least i had drinks RIGHT beside me in my fridge because i am way too chicken to go downstairs in the middle of the night to get a drink. *sigh* i miss our culligan. hehe
the second thing is i have no music on this computer. so i use wm guide to listen to songs off the internet and since i am writing a paper and do not have the time to continually change the song, i have been listening to the same song for an hour straight. i know i usually overplay songs but it's different when you do it on purpose and when you don't.
and i can't photoshop. *death* ... and i miss rez allnighters becuase at least i had drinks RIGHT beside me in my fridge because i am way too chicken to go downstairs in the middle of the night to get a drink. *sigh* i miss our culligan. hehe
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
oh the laughs
kreazeless. sometimes i forget how much we just LAUGHED when we were together. seriously we are the dream team when it comes to entertaining eachother. never a dull moment.
last june, when we were at the beaches in toronto we decided to go see "The Notebook" (eeeee!!) and toniht we were trying to portray the "say i'm a bird scene" via our msn names hahaha (no lives noted.) my name was "say i'm a bird", dora's was "you're a bird", kat's was "now say you're a bird" and jo's was "if you're a bird, i'm a bird" haha the conversation goes as such:
-take one-
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
ok so gotta go in orderrrrr
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
me, dora, kat, jo
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
jasmine
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
ok
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
oh oops
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
start over
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
hahahhahahaha
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
*slams head on desk*
-cut-
-take 2-
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
jasmine
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
dora
[five min later...]
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
kat you suck
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
HAHHAHA
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
she sucks
Gigglypuss --> mikey's --- now say you're a bird says:
whahhhtGigglypuss --> mikey's --- now say you're a bird says:
ooh i get it
-cut-
-take 3-
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
jasmine
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
jasmine
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
dora
Gigglypuss --> mikey's --- now say you're a bird says:
kat
[five min later...]
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
*death*
-cut-
by the end of the night we FINALLY got it right. we even colour coordinated!! haha... so great:
reborn: i'm glad that humor comes to you on such a "close knit friend" level... (cuz, waiki, pt and myself were just looking at each other.... while kat laughed and laughed)
YOU said it herm! ... only kreazeless.
i miss my best friends in the whole world being all together.
kreazeless. sometimes i forget how much we just LAUGHED when we were together. seriously we are the dream team when it comes to entertaining eachother. never a dull moment.
last june, when we were at the beaches in toronto we decided to go see "The Notebook" (eeeee!!) and toniht we were trying to portray the "say i'm a bird scene" via our msn names hahaha (no lives noted.) my name was "say i'm a bird", dora's was "you're a bird", kat's was "now say you're a bird" and jo's was "if you're a bird, i'm a bird" haha the conversation goes as such:
-take one-
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
ok so gotta go in orderrrrr
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
me, dora, kat, jo
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
jasmine
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
ok
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
oh oops
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
start over
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
hahahhahahaha
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
*slams head on desk*
-cut-
-take 2-
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
jasmine
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
dora
[five min later...]
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
kat you suck
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
HAHHAHA
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
she sucks
Gigglypuss --> mikey's --- now say you're a bird says:
whahhhtGigglypuss --> mikey's --- now say you're a bird says:
ooh i get it
-cut-
-take 3-
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
jasmine
moomoobear : say i'm a bird. says:
jasmine
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
dora
Gigglypuss --> mikey's --- now say you're a bird says:
kat
[five min later...]
Dora dora bo bora ~ you're a bird. says:
*death*
-cut-
by the end of the night we FINALLY got it right. we even colour coordinated!! haha... so great:
reborn: i'm glad that humor comes to you on such a "close knit friend" level... (cuz, waiki, pt and myself were just looking at each other.... while kat laughed and laughed)
YOU said it herm! ... only kreazeless.
i miss my best friends in the whole world being all together.
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