concept is over :( poop. the show was sooo much fun !!!! i think friday nite was my fave since the audience was awesome!!! my closer friends and parents were there that nite and also, after the show a bunch of us went to Eastside Marios and had funnel cake and strawberry dacurees (sp?) hahaha.. mmm very very good stuff... i took a lot of pics :)

i am so happy!!! why? cuz someone i have missed in great extremity has returned... and well talked to her tonite and i had so much to say it was craaaazzzy but such a huge relief! i just like can't stop talking about everything that's gone on during these two and a half months... it's definitely been a crazy two and a half months i just realized after talking nonstop for about and hour and i still have lots more to say but her bro kicked her off the phone :P *sigh* but anyhoo, yes this past while has been crazy. and i realize that my spiritual life has been greatly lacking attention. yes, that's a prayer request :) please pray for me. thankyou. oh. and i got this forward from someone today and i love it so i'm posting it.
*~Happy Thoughts~*

Laughing so hard your face hurts.

A hot shower.

No lines at the Super Wal-Mart. Even better at Wonderland...

A special glance. (from brian)

Getting mail. (hint hint)

Taking a drive on a pretty road.

Hearing your favorite song on the radio. (the JASMINE SONG!)

Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

Hot towels out of the dryer.

Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half
price.

Chocolate milkshake. (yes that's right CHOCOLATE)

A long distance phone call.

A bubble bath.

Giggling.

A good conversation.

The beach. (i miss collingwood!)

Finding a $20 bill in your coat from last winter.

Laughing at yourself. (mostly people just laugh at ME :P)

Midnight phone calls that last for hours. (i have many of these )

Running through sprinklers. (jo, we sweat in pattern! hahaha)

Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

Laughing at an inside joke. (we sweat in pattern)

Friends. (luv you all)

Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice
about you.

Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours
left to sleep.

Making new friends or spending time with old ones

Playing with a new puppy.

Having someone play with your hair.

Sweet dreams.

Hot chocolate. (once again, notice it's chocolate NOT vanilla)

Road trips with friends. (dora, "OMG!!!!! SCARY PEOPLE!!!!!!!! DON'T WAVE!!!!!!"

Swinging on swings.

Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can
sing along without feeling stupid.

Going to a really good concert.

Watching the sunrise.

Getting out of bed every morning and thanking God
for another beautiful day.

yay! i love that forward! God is truly truly good to us all. nite.

opening nite!!! :) ... it was soooo much fun! but ... at the same time not. i looked really good.. well, as good as i can look just about i think. i had my hair in half up and i curled the ends out... ugh i can't really explain it... but i'll post pics when i get them developed... i had a lot of fun with friends and stuff and i sang well! yay! and i talked to the guy i like some... but i am not sure whether i will pursue my interest... prolly not since i know who he likes and she's like one of my best friends. :? oh well. well anyhoo, the bad part. while i was going down the stairs heading for the isle, my robe got caught on the WALL. and by the time i managed to get it free alison (the girl in front of me) was halfway up the isle so i had to run but my socks (we had to wear black socks) were slippery so i ended up almost smashing into a person. AK!~ thankfully this was in the dark.L=P well... what's new? just a typical klutz attack for me :P but i was really upset later on cuz well.. i really wanted it to be awesome... but now i'm good... besids, i have tommorow and saturday to get it PERFECT :) *teehee*

ps. sheena was amazing!!!! so were you erin!!!!! and tara and robyn and em and bryan and jason and amalia and everyone else!!!!!

Concept shows TOMMOROW!!! AK! i'm actually getting more nervous now although i have the tiniest part possible in the show i am worried about my hair. will people even be able to see my hair? i am not sure. but i am indifferent to that factor.. i will look good at any cost. ok not ANY cost but yeah... you get the point :P Why am i worried about looks and not my voice? well... i'm singing with like 12 other people i highly doubt anyone will actually have the "priveledge" of hearing my voice although i am now officially convinced that i SUCK! oh wellies. oh and... BUY CONCEPT TICKETS PEOPLE! that was my bit of advertising, i have done my part. :P

on the weekend, jo and i decided to do an experiment type excercise to observe how long we could endure not liking someone. i went in to this "experiment" with confidence... determined to prove myself independant and self controlling. as i dragged myself down the halls this week, passing some crushes of my distant past, instead of greeting my friends (oops sorry guys) my walk became a great deal more dignified. with my head held high and flipping my sleek shampoo model hair i put a smile on my face and sang Destiny Child's SURVIVOR in my head "now that you're outta my life, i'm so much better, thought that i'd be weak without you but i'm stronger...o/~" then today came. and now i realize i am not independant, self controlled or dignified, i don't have shampoo model hair :P darn (hey, well some days it's pretty damn close... while on the other 364 days of the year...) and also, i must have looked like a complete retard in the hallways :P hahaha ^_^ my new crush is a complete sweetie... he's stolen my heart ^_~ heehee

it was a P.A. day today... so we had praylude at 10 and then Tim, Jo, Heidi, Dora, Alex, and I went to mikey's for lunch and went to the mall and Jo and Dora and I went to galaxy!
Harry Potter was AWESOME! ^_^ i'm so excited! i can't believe i saw it on the first day it came out :) heehee Hogwarts is sooper cool and yeah it was really good... it's totally worth the money! :) i made a total fool out of myself though. yipes. hahaha we were going up the steps as the movie started ... a PRIVET DRIVE sign and darkness... some trees... i heard some people scream in glee and anticipation as it began... it wasn't a little kid either. :P so we're like going up the stairs and suddenly these people that are in the very back of the theatre are like "MOVE!!! sit down! the movie's starting we can't see!!!" they were quite frantic about the whole thing. and i was like "huh? there's people back there?" cuz well it was dark hello. O_o and yeah. so i plop down on the steps ready to enjoy the movie. ^_^ so it's starting and proffessor Dumbledore is walking around and putting out the lights on PRIVET DRIVE and i feel something nudging my arm. it's dora. and she's whispers.... "WHERE ARE WE GONNA SIT????!!!" it was quite a loud whisper... but much less aggressive than when she was trying to get these peoople to move down in their isle. (later on, we discussed why people don't just sit next to eachother in theatres and leave big gaps... :? who knows.) so anyhoo... she is like extremely focussed on seats every time there is enough light coming out of the movie to see them... and she spots these seats in the front and proceeds to promt joanna and i down the stairs. yeah... and we're all like afraid of the people in the back yelling at us so joanna crab walks while dora crouches and i... well... ya know when you're like a little kid and you sorta use the stairs as a slide.... yeah. that was me. i have no clue how funny we must have looked to everyone there. oh man. :P but hey, it was dark so meh and besides, we finally got to our seats which was lucky because the movie was amazing! and that totally googly (*cute*/hot) "quittich" player Oliver Wood contributed excellently to the success of the Harry Potter Movie in MY books ^_^ *teehee* *BIG SMILE*
i got a winter hat today :) it's a tuque ^_^ i kinda hope it starts snowing soon... and then... i can learn how to SNOWBOARD! woohoo!!!! craziness! i'm actually excited about winter!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN!!!!!! (Abbas) thanks for being such a totally amazing bud! luv ya! mwa***

today i was at rehearsal til seven. actually, it's really fun if i don't think about all the stress and tiredness... :) i get to hang out with friends and watch the show and talk and eat and :) yeah :) i had McDonalds for supper too (it's a five minute walk from our school) and since we had like 3 and a half hours to wait til our song, me and erin had plenty of time to go get yummmy food :) heehee :)
before i used to think Sheena was sooooo annnoying and mean... and petra was nice... but now i luv sheena and petra is just mean. cuz she's a lot more understanding... and yeah. she's an AMAZING singer too!!! :) and she's not letting her stress get her all "pms"ey either :) yay! she drove me and ivan and tara home tonite in this silver punch buggy!!!!! ^_^ it's a loaner while her dad's car is getting fixed and he doesn't wanna drive it so he took her car and gave her the beetle!!! i have never been in one before tonite and it is soooo cool!!!! ^_^ ivan is sooooo cute! ^_^
at rehearsal today, i was presented with the opportunity to do something that i have been curious about for quite sometime. i took the opportunity and placed it in my pocket, unsure of what to do. luckily, when i called a wise friend of mine after rehearsal, after much pursuasion and promting, she convinced me to dispose of this opportunity.... soo.... i flushed it down the toilet. there are over 4000 reasons why. thanks to that friend who will remain nameless. ^_^
a request: please people, start acting what you say! i know i need to work on that... but it's something i really need right now. thanks.

i was at Concept rehearsal *til SIX PM today O_O mike clegg was really nice and bought me, erin and emily pizza while he was going to get his :9 YUM pizza ^_^ i was hungry too so *^_^* yeah... so we sat around ... watched act one. ummm... *Crocodile Rock* was the coolest song!!! heehee it's Andrew Botros and this other really cute guy and they are sooo funny and good!!! also, Ghetto Superstar is really good too... the court drama was funny and so was Days of Our Children ^_^ Kalfan is hilarious. yeah.. we actually only went through our song once. -_- *sigh* we were at the end of the act so.. yeah.
in Latin we had a seating change. i think this was the lowest part of my day since not only do i no longer sit with Doradee and Susi (well we still kinda sit close) and i'm not near Adri... but that's totally not the worst of it. the worst is that i have to sit extrememly close to a certain someone whom i will not name for the sake of being politically correct... or something. :? i just dun wanna be mean. but i really can't stand this person. s/he can't mind his/her own business and sticks her/his head in to every conversation and is just plain ANNNOYING!!!!!!! this person is the type of person most individuals would deem "too nice" aka: a sugary, suck up, desperate to fit in, kiss my ass type of individual. we better have another seating change soon or else. grrrr BOOM! i might hurt that someone... ok. not really. i am not the violent type ^_~

God is truly truly merciful and awesome!!! :) :) yesterday i was praying about this huge science test i have that he would help me be able to prepare for it in a non realistic time period... and seemingly, i could have pulled through if i totally crammed for the next two nights... but today in science, Lozon postponed the test til next week!!!! yippee! ^_^ plus, we get thurday's class as a study period! :) it's so awesome how the Lord cares about l*il things like this and l*il gurls like me ^_^ *smile*

I'm back after like 5 min... maybe less because i'm soooo excited!!!!! ^_^ mail mail mail :)
i got my chapman's tshirt!!! YAY! it's soooo cute! a bit big... but it's soooo cute! :) :) :) :) :) andi got two more postcards from elmo! which is crazy that's three in total... thanx elmomo ^_^ for some reason the second one came before the first but it's soooo coool i gotta go to europe. :) :)
also, i got an overdue thing from the library. :P i think it's been two months. ooops. O_o

Rememberance day.
we're learning about WW1 in history class and it's sad. really really sad. so remember. that is all.
i finally washed my moocowbaby last nite! :) he smells soooo good! like DOVE ^_^ body wash... it's cool stuff man.
it's getting so cold. :P today i was wearing my winter jacket outside.. (it's not even winter yet) and i was FREEZING! jumping up and down to keep myself warm! ok ok. i always jump up and down but still, this time it had a purpose :P
i'm actually kinda excited about winter coming and stuff cuz i'm gonna for sure learn how to snowboard this winter!!!! ^_^ yippee! and also, i can't wait to go shopping for winter clothes... gonna get really soft fuzzy mittens and maybe that hat i saw at susi sheer a while back (if it's still there) that dora said made me look like an anime character haha it had a pom pom on it :) gotta jet.

Lifesong... was for me really amazing... the funny/surprising thing of it was how relevant it was to me at this point in my life. Little things like drinking (something i've been thinking about lately) and relationships (^_~) and stress at school were all really relevant... but i think the big thing for me was that they talked about TRUST and about FAITH and when Simon felt like the more he tried to fix things the worse they got and that is EXACTLY how i have been feeling lately... a lot like he was feeling in the play... and the songs were amazing and Tim Ng's bro wrote one of them which is totally amazing too :) everyone was sooo great up there! :) heehee josiah was tres cute ^_^ and all the other ppl rocked as well but his pompous character really stood out to me ^_^ the sermon was really good talking about faith and the "stoppers" of it. (the speaker looked like Bryson from my latin class sorta but he wasn't as much of a ball heehee) yeah it was really really great and spiritually refreshing... cuz it made me realize exactly how far i had drifted from the Lord... and it's pretty far =P bleh. but i decided that i need to refocus and rededicate to Him. so *thanx* to Clara and Nathan and Tim and all the other ppl organizing it and in it and everything! :) the refreshments were also very good! mmmmmm creamy ball things ^_^ i'm very very full now :Pbut that didn't stop me, heidi, jo, karen, and alex from going to BUBBLE TEA afta ^_^ where we played this totally crazy game of jenga... it was SOOOO high! and when heidi pulled out her piece and i wasn't paying much attention the whole thing crashed and i screamed and the whole store that was really loud before went completely silent and everyone stared at us hahaha it was really embarressing but funny... nathan and anna and tim ng and gladys were all there too... but not with us. and not exactly together.. yeah :? just one question : WHERE was BEN? :P i didn't see that guy. :( also on a completely different note, i didnt' know you could play pool at Mel's.

I like to think i can take credit for what i have done. good or bad. i think that if i really did something wrong then i should own up to it. sometimes people make that difficult. everytime i talk to them i feel guilty and they act like they are mad but they say they aren't. so what is it they want? am i supposed to be like "oh yeah you're not mad it's all fine" or am i supposed to be like "ok. you are ACTING like you're mad so it's NOT fine"? will someone please tell me! or am i just supposed to sit there like a bump on a log and not really care that people who's opinion is important to me is sending me mixed messages and am i supposed to just sit there and let others take the blame for what i've done and chillax because afterall, people is "not mad anymore".
how do you gain back what you have lost? be it trust, conversation, comfortablility... i think i've lost all three with people in the past week. kinda of insane how stuff like that happens so fast when you don't think about what you say before you say it and the next hting you know, you've wrecked someone's life. or multiple lives. and not only that, you've wrecked friendships and trusts and conversation and comfortablility. and all you can do is sit there and wait until those things fix themselves... and it may be the next day or it may be never you just don't know. and you can't do ANYTHING. cept sit tick tock tick tock tick tock ... pretty soon, the waiting drivees you insane and you burst into tears.. or maybe it hasn't been that long... but it feels like an eternity when those things aren't there... and you burst in to tears. or maybe like right now at this precise moment you cry and cry a river inside you but the tears won't come out... and once again you sit and wait til they do... tick tock tick tock.. knowing, it's all your fault.

Em just sent me the strangest poem by Margaret Atwood... it's called They Eat Out... it's really weird.. and upon trying to offer my perspective on it... i really had none... the poem had me thinking it was about one thing and then suddenly switching topics reverted me to another without actually switching topics in reality. crazy stuff peeps!
one line in the poem "In restaurants we argue over who is going to pay for your funeral" which i interpreted as ppl arguing over who's paying for the food... which only ever happens in the Chinese world O_o it is SOOOO embaressing when you're like at a restaurant done eating this great food and you look up to see your mother/father madly trying to wrestle your friend's mother/father to get the bill!after the "big fight" is over, the loser auto matically tries to force great sums of money in to the hand/ purse of the winning party. and as if that wasn't enough, these are both done while screaming, yelling, and running around the restaurant...(i wonder what the non chinese speaking peeps are thinking when "we" do that! ... they prolly think we're all crazy lunatics trying to steal eachother's money or something... or it's some kinda game that we play at the family reunion since all chinese are related remember? hahaha my careers teacher can't tell any of the asians in our class apart.. he showed me dora's term mark today instead of mine :P) and finally it ends with the losing party taking back their great sum of money )which had it been offered to me, i would accept it greatfully haha ^_^ ) and heaving a great *SIGH* and saying "ho la hola! die yee chee do o bay la!"("ok ok! but next time I get to pay!") technically, i think this is actually a dramatic battle. whoever can act the most sincere about wanting to pay an extra fifty bucks fot the other family but ends up not having to pay wins. afterall, does anyone actually WANT to pay... in my opinion... why don't we just stick to paying for ourselves! unless it's someone's bday or something like that.. would prolly save plenty of commotion AND money... not to mention certain humiliation of your children :P

my firstest blog!

... ok. not really. cuz i HAVE had weblogs in the past... but not on a special site. *sigh* alas. i have abandoned the idea of trying to create a professional looking weblog on my own and even given up page builder! cuzz. i'm to lazzzy! but ohwellies~ here's my solution: TADA! i discovered this wonderfully easy way of blogging from the links on emzie's site! yay! (btw, i didn't read anyone's blog who i didn't know.)

it's strange. in my last entry on my old weblog i ranted about friendship and about how it's so important to me that i am able to trust my friends. i made this observation last nite in a conversation with someone who i had greatly wronged. in fact, while i had written about my longing for trustworthy friends i slipped up and became and untrustworthy friend to someone else. thankfully, this someone is not mad at me anymore and i am forever grateful! really i am. anyhoo, i learned from the situation... which i guess is improtant since nothing that has been done can be undone. but the one thing that can be gained is a lesson :) and from now on i'm gonna try to think more before i talk.. and not try to fix things myself all the time but rely on God cuz he's got a plan always and he's always in control! ^_^ *grin*

went to kfc for toonie tuesday today with ralala, tara, jo, kat and susi :) YUMMIE! it should be toonie everyday! not just tuesday :) dave was there much to susi's pleasant surprise... or was she surprised...^_~ it was his bday though... HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVE! it's weird because as of this month i'm starting to view a lot more of my school friends as true friends instead of just aquantances... just a thought... since last year i barely even considered some of these friends aquantances... i think that's a good sign... well anyhoo, gotta jet... so ends my firstest :) mwa*** luv, jasy