I like to think i can take credit for what i have done. good or bad. i think that if i really did something wrong then i should own up to it. sometimes people make that difficult. everytime i talk to them i feel guilty and they act like they are mad but they say they aren't. so what is it they want? am i supposed to be like "oh yeah you're not mad it's all fine" or am i supposed to be like "ok. you are ACTING like you're mad so it's NOT fine"? will someone please tell me! or am i just supposed to sit there like a bump on a log and not really care that people who's opinion is important to me is sending me mixed messages and am i supposed to just sit there and let others take the blame for what i've done and chillax because afterall, people is "not mad anymore".
how do you gain back what you have lost? be it trust, conversation, comfortablility... i think i've lost all three with people in the past week. kinda of insane how stuff like that happens so fast when you don't think about what you say before you say it and the next hting you know, you've wrecked someone's life. or multiple lives. and not only that, you've wrecked friendships and trusts and conversation and comfortablility. and all you can do is sit there and wait until those things fix themselves... and it may be the next day or it may be never you just don't know. and you can't do ANYTHING. cept sit tick tock tick tock tick tock ... pretty soon, the waiting drivees you insane and you burst into tears.. or maybe it hasn't been that long... but it feels like an eternity when those things aren't there... and you burst in to tears. or maybe like right now at this precise moment you cry and cry a river inside you but the tears won't come out... and once again you sit and wait til they do... tick tock tick tock.. knowing, it's all your fault.