went to viv's today and watched "Marry a Rich Man" lol... yes. a chinese flick :P ..
strange-- last night tiff had me dling Jay Chow, then today i watch a chinese movie and borrowed a Sammi Che(u)ng cd from benny lol
i'm currently addicted to the song Glass Slipper.
hahaha anyways i don't care if i'm "crossing over" hahaha had so much fun :)

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .


"And I can't fake it
The way I could before
I hate you but I love you
I can't stop thinking of you It's true
I'm stuck on you"
stuck, s.o.

added a link to gisela's blog-- a friend from summer school who likes moulin rouge too!!! :)
heading out to viv's soon... yay! abandoning the bumming :)... nice to have something to :)

i miss
the sound of my pen on
paper rustling
mind spinning
heart and soul spinning out of my fingertips.
the craft of writing.

a little colour




kat and dora came over tonight and helped me dye my hair :) i like it...
you can't really see it good in the pic esp since my webcam is really crappy.... but it's purple. :)
i mean... it's black... but when the light shines on it it's purple!! ^_^
i'm sooooo happy! i've wanted to get this for SO long :)

lalalalalalala :)

also today...
- talked to eumie
- me, kat, jo, dora watched Just Married for lightheartedness but... it turned out to be more of a depressant
- chilled with em -- got tcby and packed

shouldn't you be at church?

10:10- jasy : can you drive me to church?
mom : i said i wasn't goign to drive you.
jasy : what?! no you didn't... when did you say that?
mom : at 9:30 when i was tryign to wake you up and you wouldn';t get up and you said "why should i get up now"
jasy : huh?! you tried to wake me up at 9:30??... can you please just drive me to church?

[five minutes later]
i am still being ignored by my mother chopping up cucumbers for my sister's birthday party.
honestly i don't remember any of that stuff that happened at 9:30

so that's why i'm not at church.

to you

you think you're the only one who ever feels insecure? the only one who looks in the mirror and thinks 'God this is wonderfully made?'?
the only one who thinks their friends can do everything and you yourself can only observe wishing... wishing you could somehow measure up?

well think again.

have you ever sat and watched every guy come by and be interested in your best friends instead of you? having them talk to you only to get closer to your friends? having the guy you like date your best friend. and loving it and hating it at the exact same time... but i'm not the only one.
and maybe, just maybe... it wasn't that big of a deal. But somehow yeah-- i'm freakin jealous of your body. the fact that you can wear a strapless dress and i can't. maybe that was the real issue. black. who cares? but maybe i just wanted something... something... nice.
i know it's stupid. i do.
which is why i didn't say anything!
because i myself knew how retarded i was being.

but no you just can't leave it can you? and then it's my fault. it's me who's making YOU feel unloved and stupid and ugly.

well i'm sorry. because you aren't any of those things. but none of this matters. i was just annoyed. and you know, you didn't have to ask me over and over and over and over... because if you hadn't i wouldn't have told you and we would be on a lot better terms right now.

so just drop it ok?

one day left of summer school....

it's so bitter sweet...
lil was right. :P
i'm still glad i get to party it up after this but..... i'm gonna miss those people! :( gonna take so many pics tommorow! or rather "today". :)

got a chance to talk to tiff, nita, and di on the phone tonight! :) definitely the highlight of my week so far... i miss you guys.

oh btw!-- if u didn't notice... i decided to change things around a bit... it's not super interesting :P but i like a new look once in a while :)
i also added some new links :)... my testimony is on the side and Helen Keller Quotes(i'm doing her for my isu) and Lil's thotstoo :) also shouts are coming soooooon... as soon as i finish summer schooL!

anyways back to my isu.. nitenite!

change

hmm..

leisure


choorch picnic was today! twas a fun time in the sun :) went canoeing! -- got completely soaked. actually more by simon dumping a bucket of water on my head then anything else ... but muahahaha i got my revenge ;) keke..
the funniest thing when jo, em, and i were walking to the bus to change (no smelly outhouses for us!--except i ended up having to pee in one anyways) joanna goes "hmm.. i really have to pee... maybe we should have gone to the outhouses afterall..."
and em goes "go pee behind that bush. we'll watch you."
lol of course... that's not what she meant :P ... or WAS IT? haha.. jk :)
yes i liked that. everyone should have gone on the church picnic :P but the main ppl from english that were there were em, jo, victoria, wall, simon, joseph, and i :) also i met benny and dan who are new and they are both really cool :) plus their dog frosty is too :)

after the picnic we had another "family thing" at tiff's grandparents' place who btw i found out the other day i'm supposed to call them "suk gong and suk poh" ... but i guess.. i dunno... i think i'll get used to it because we seem to be seeing them alot more now.. but just it sounds like a very close name and although i like them alot it i seem to have to make a lot of effort to address them like that because it doesn't seem natural. but anyways it was nice cuz we stayed for dinner so me fiona iris and irina went to the cambridge centre and shopped ^_^ i didn't buy anything but it's always nice to shop u kno :P
other than that i had a chance to talk to fiona for a really long time which was nice too :) the only UNnice thing about tonight was that tiff was mentionned alot-- hey girl supposedly i talk like you according to ur grandma hahaha which i totally don't hehe but owell-- and I MISS TIFF! i miss yououuuuuu and your mom goes "tiff said she doesn't want to come back" i'm like "=_= she's coming back. :P" come back.

fiona and i are going to see Pirates of the Caribbean tommorow !!!!!!! SOOO EXCITED :) i lub johnny depp :)

[FRIDAY]





had dinner with my family at east side's last night [thursday] for my sis's bday :)
it was a fun time enjoying and being extremely embarressed over my family's idiosyncrasies... my dad showed the waiter his kenker. and after i ordered my daquiri (yes anita it was a virgin one :P :)) my mom RE-emphasized to the hot waiter that it was a "VIR- GIN" daquiri HAHAHA..
but it was fun :)
and the hot waiter asked me whether or not i was 19 :) kekekeke....

had a really interesting discussion at praylude about the "nature" of spiritual gifts and their essence... in the end it was a very simple definition but ... one that requires a lot of thought and debate to take something so large and make it as specific as possible.

church picnic tommorow :)
fun in da sun :D for the FIRST time this summer O_o :P

HAPPY 17th DORA!!! and HAPPY 11th IRINA!!!

eeek. trying to find a famous person to do for my isu. can't. heh surprise surprise... can't do *much*.

tidbits

i have 89% in summer school right now! :D i'm excited. i haven't been so excited abotu marks for a while :P :) God is really great in helping me with this... i mean, there's been assignments that i've just stared at for so long wondering how i'm going to go abotu writing them (i'm taking writers craft) and yeah, my time management skills are not super -- but they've been pretty good for summer school so far :) God's really helped me stay more disciplined.

gotta go shopping tommorow nite ... will hopefully be able to pick up presents for dora's and irina's bday on thurs and a dress *^_^* for the chung's 25 anniversary party! :) sooo excited :) hoping for a sleek black dress with mini sleeves :)

no matter how many times i practice saying "let's bounce" it just never sounds "cool" coming out of my mouth.

one of the pics from the Kreazeless "photoshoot" hehe :)
nice job wallace :) i look bad but i think it's a nice picture..it's one of the only two "un candid" shots...

i can't believe i only have one year left with jo dora and kat. three of the four goodbyes i can not bear to say.

it was really refreshing to talk to u ...
but i almost wish i hadn't... cuz i miss you so much more.

lub u eu.

"family dinner" was nice :)
auntie katie made some sweet ass cake topped with fresh cream, strawberries, and white chocolate :9...
fiona is really cool -- nice to have someone to chat with since someone *cough* tiff *cough* was missing in action :P ;)
iris is sleeping over (with my sister) :) ... came out of my room to say hi and realized they went to bed while i was on the phone.

self evaluation:

i need a makeover -- inside-out.

this place needs a makeover.

"little pleasures of life" that brightnened my otherwise incredibly dreary day:
- kreazeless girls.

- walking in the rain.
-- God knows when to send a nice shower :)... at first the rain reflected my unshed tears and the clouds the grey of my heart, then it caressed me as i moped in it. soaking my sneakers to the roots of my hair- sympathizing with my sadness. allowing me to be unhappy, yet leaving me lighter than before i went out.

- my unexpected walk/talk w bun :) thankyou.

-elizabeth's untainted laughter. loud, rambunctious, contagious. :) pixie laughter to go with pixie ears. she's really fun to talk to :) hahahaha she told simon he was an old man :) lol low gung gung simon lol :) ...

-POSTCARDS! :D [fyi, i have a ridiculous obsession with postcards] anyways-- tWO came today! :)... double the excitement! ^_^
thanks jeh and matt!!! :) *kekekeke* more postcards for my wall :) ...

thankyou God for the blessings and the trials in life... thanks for "coincidences" to cheer me up :)

finally got around to updating my links :

1. di down in aussie... how God's been working through her and in her down there :)

2. my little sister's debut!!!
hehehe :)-- Tales of a Fifth Grade Nothing
a while back in my week of doing absolutely nothing i felt like starting a new blog.. but i dind't have any ideas so i was like "irina can i start you a blog?"
so i did.
and so here it is-- a grade five perspective in the blogging world. not that age makes a difference -- but i think it's interesting because the things she observes and goes through are fresh-- invigorating memories of the past :)
so check it out :)

i didn't think it was possible to spend too much time with people i like so much. but through out the day there are minutes in which i think i am doing just that. and then other hours in which i change my mind.

and don't even talk to me about being second place.

murder she wrote

finally finished writing my short story for summer school thanks to pearl who helped me get over my writers block :)...
it had to be horror with the theme of insanity.
i dont' like writing horror because i scare myself picturing what i write. my hands usually end up shaking at the keyboard.
anyways-- here it is. ... it's not very good... but the best i can do :P
not for the faint hearted. and i don't have a title yet... :

It was still. So quiet you could hear the spiders spinning their cobwebs in little corners too long neglected. The sky was dark, not stormy, just darkened by large grey clouds that concealed the nakedness of the sky beneath. He sat in the living room in that chair. That old, brown, leather chair, ragged from all those times him and his girlfriends would fuck in it. I never saw but I heard. And that disgusting carpet, stained from ketchup, nosebleeds, and smelling of putrid intoxication. The small amount of light through the blinds fell in an eerie pattern of lines over the small television. Lines over the nearly invisible coffee table. Lines cutting across my father’s silhouetted figure in that chair.

I hated him. It was his unfaithfulness and crude nature that had driven my mother to the reckless driving that caused her death seven years ago when I was only ten. She told me herself. She tells me a lot of important things. The only things he tells me are how sexy I look or asks me if he can touch me in certain places.
“Ignore him.” She tells me.
So I wear baggy t-shirts and long, loose fitting pants, and hoped that by ignoring him, this sick reality of mine would become nothing more than a horrible nightmare.

“Hey Taylor, baby, be a doll and grab me another beer! And while you’re at it take off your shirt! Hehheh” He called with his gnarled laughter and slurred tones. I sucked my stomach in concentrating on the way my insides folded against my ribs and the way my feet hit the carpet as I turned to grab his empty beer can from the coffee table.

Suddenly, as if by impulse my entire body tensed up, but it did so belatedly as I felt his hand land on my breast. Slap! I stood frozen for a second. An imprint of my hand appeared across his stunned cheek. Without getting up his arms lunged toward me. Grabbing. Ripping. And then his arms changed their mind and pushed me away. “Just get me that beer.” His eyes focused on a red spot in the carpet. I tore out of that room as the tears came and blurred the walls as I ran as fast as I could through the kitchen doorway. I stopped. My mother stood in the doorway, eyes hollow and a knife laid in her palms.
“Go back in there Taylor. Take this. Go back in there and finish him.” For the first time in my life her voice sounded so foreign to me. I stared. “Aren’t you angry?” She asked.
I nodded, then shook my head. “You don’t love me.” She whispered. “He killed me, he touched you. He ruined BOTH our lives and you aren’t even angry! You wicked girl! You ungrateful daughter, you don’t love me!” She was screaming now. “No!” I begged her with my tears. “I am angry. I do love you.” In response she stuck the kitchen knife in my face once again.

She was right. My mother was right. Before he looked up I had already made two red lines across his body. Lines, lines. That was all my mind could hold. Lines of revenge. “You killed her!” I began screaming. “If it wasn’t for you she wouldn’t have driven so recklessly! You took everything from me!” And then there was silence. “Your mother died of a heroine overdose. I lied about the accident. She died of an overdose.” The last word was barely audible and his body gave way to death. And I, I sat motionless looking at the woman who stood at the corner of the room, wondering who she was.

the end.

summer school is O-kay... my teacher is a hottie but i don't like how bluevale has no windows. it's like a prison or something.
anyways chilling at dora's today and watching How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (so funny!) over some Little Caesar's was a really nice way to kick back after three days of hardcore writing for the entire day nonstop :)

Maid in Manhatten (which is an amazing movie i dont' care what anyone says haha) has made me the biggest fan of Tyler Garcia Posey what a cutie!! for your viewing pleasure:



*melt* this sweetie has stolen my heart *^_^*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CANADA!!! : D

went to watch the fireworks at columbia lake this year as per tradition :)
they were so gorgeous ^_^ i especially like the ones that go straight up in a line and then fan out like an angel or something beautiful such as that.
and sitting there drowning in "What a Wonderful World", my head laid back in the grass, with the smell of Tiger balm in the air and surrounded by kat, jo, g, patty, and all the accounting people... i thought. wow. it IS a wonderful world. the sky is lighting up in breathtaking lights and colours, i have a few hours left of completely free summer fun to enjoy, i have amazing friends who love me, and i live in the greatest country ever.
God has blessed me with so, so much... words just couldn't say ... i can't wipe this grin off my face :D

*and* i got a glowstick!!!!!!!!!!!
hehe!