unexpected

well this weekend was... not as i had planned it. =P

but it was pretty fun anyways =)

for one thing, i watched the entire firstseason of desperate housewives *gah* laur was right... addictive.
something i liked:
"Listen to me. We all have moments of desperation. But if we face them head on, that's when we find out just how strong we really are." mary alice young (dhw)

and for another, i hung out with jo and kat alot this wknd... it was good to just be together... and THERE for eachtoher. and tonight we webcammed and talked to dora on speaker... it was a struggle but kreazeless having a semi conversation all together was nice =) ... even if it takes personal crises for these conversations to actually occur. tears were shed. bashing was done. love was sent and support was given. and stupidfun was had =)
gawd i miss us.

we started up this "girl's cell" thing... it was fun just to hang out with the kwcac girlies... ihope this thing flies.. that God will deepen and strengthen our friendships...

... dang though. there's still a little bit of me that wants a bit of partyyyy back... *grimace*
i don't regret things or anything just... yeah. if i could have both that would be nice.

I am NOT your back-up friend.

*edit: And God shouldn't be mine. (sorry)

school life

my econ midterm next week was cancelled!!! wheee!!! class has been cancelled for the past week ... so apparently the weights are going to be shifted. hopefully the first midterm will be worth a lot more becuase i actaully did well! i like having class with jess and dev... jess and i were gonna go shopping today to cheer us up but THEN we found out our enrollment aptmnts were today O_o...so we didn't go.. *sigh*

quest is frustrating.
but *pats self on back* i got into SPCOM223, HIST 113, PACS201, and PSYCH253 after liek an hour. *guuhhh* ... i still need one more course... i want ISS131R for my major but its not workiinggggg!!! should it really be this stressful to enroll in courses? i think not.

sick

i have a runny nose and a cough... but i'm not talking about that. i am talking about the grossest most pathetic sickness you can have.... "love"sickness. not saying i am in LOVE persay. but i am pining for sure. gahhhh

"how do you cope when the one you love is with somebody else and there's nothign you can do about it?
i gotta take it though its heartbreaking... its something that i have to do ... but nobody said that it would hurt so bad so how do i deal without you? "-frankij

and my new theme song is "I Hate Myself For Losing You" by Kelly Clarkson.

i've done it! i've officially hit the bottom of the loser bucket. i am the tiger woods of patheticness. *tear tear tear* hahaha

"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.
Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall"

2Peter 1:5-10

SAVED!!!!

this week has been rescued by saturday and sunday!!! =)

saturday:
went over to alison's for lunch =) she made me foooood! check it out =) my girl can coook!! yayyyyyyy :D thank youuuuu


and thennnn at night laur and i went to mikey's, then chillngrill, then PHIL'S!! hahhaa.. ok so the place is so dirty but aside from the CREEP that hit on me it was funn!!!! hahhaa.. spent the night talking to randoms, walking down university, and just being crazyyy =) lol ran into a bunch of ppl tooo on the way i saw robyn!(my friend from highschool who i haven't seen in over a year) =) jo, (the best person ever) came to pick me up at like 3am and we went over to laura's and just chatted iwth her and krista for a bit. all in all i was just so happy to go have fun and get AWAY from the "usual crowd" i guess... sometimes i just need a break. and i miss ppl.



sunday:
after church jo and i went for lunch with EVIE!!!! who was up from sauga for the wknd! yay! and then tonight we studied at dp and had dinner with kat, laura, bily, victor, jt, lil chris, and doug =) and hung out with laura a bit at her place and just caught up cuz its been a while. =)

anyways i know this was kind of a "i did this and then this and then this" kind of blog but i had a good weekend and i really needed it so i jsut wanted to write it down.

nurture



BAHAHHAA... so great. courtesy of miss wu (now i know what you think of me)...
lol but haha maybe sometimes i am like that... but hey, who doesn't need a little encouragement sometimes? a little boost.

i am not a brat :P

hot chocolate

last year, one of the most comforting things was HOT CHOCOLATE. eric man gave me hotchocolate mix stolen from wcri cafe haha in large quantities. and kat and i had a culligan water dispenser than gave us boiled water at the push of a button. that meant that ANYTIME i wanted i could jsut grab a mug, push a button, and VOILA a cup of nice steamy hotchocolate all without even leaving my room.

hot chocolate is one of the greatest things about the weather getting colder.

fun


Thanksgiving weekend was FUN =) and i dind't expect it to be considering people were going home stuff. I got to spend a BIT of time with my family which was good but we kept being invited to people's places for dinner so we never really had our OWN thanksgiving dinner. and i dind't really go to the other ppls places cuz... that would have been too boring. it's weird, i actually was upset that my family dind't get to have dinner together beucase i really liked them this weekend haha.

however, the cool thing was jo, jackie, and andrew were here!! soooo we got to chill a bit =) girls went to the mall and then me jo and andrew watched O and then today the four of us (after i convinced jackie not to be a recluse haha) went to see flight plan =) the movie was ok but it was just good to laugh with good friends =)

thankyou

back in highschool, when i used to take science (up til grade 12!!) ... i learned that there is a constant "pressure" on all of us. i think i erased the actual "science" behind this from my mind haha but there is. there's a certain amount of pressure on every single part of our bodies all the time. and we don't feel it becuase we're jsut so used to it.

i think that sometimes in life, you have the most amazing things but you don't see them becuase you're just used to them being there that you think they "should" be.

some from my own life:
- living in Canada. people are just BORN into wealth. me and clara were talking about it the other day... how there's all this exploitation of people in third world countries... people's living standards are SO low ... not even talking about sweat shops or child labour... and why? why should we get to be so much more comfortable than them? no reason. we were just born this way.
- friends that tolerate the insanity i sometimes display. especially one who has tolerated it for 16 years ... we FREAK at eachother. unreasonably sometimes. we pull we push we change our minds... we are probably ruder to eachother than to anyone else we know. yet... i don't know anyone else (aside from family) who's stood by me for longer.
- school. i think alot of people would die to get the chance to go to school. i am so blessed with the mental capacity (no matter how NOT smart i think i am) and the means. i'm acutally really enjoying my classes this term too.
- chances. God gives me soooo many. people give me so many. it's bad. i've gotten used to it. screw up, another chance, screw up again, and another chance... its something i'm thankful i've had so far but something i hope i won't need as much in the future.

usually i'd list out little thigns that make me happy, little events that brighten up my life... people i love who love me back. but jsut this year i wanted to look at those... BIG things. people odn't really look at the big things anymore. the PALACE you live in that you can't see because you're just too consumed with whether the floor is shiny or dull. happy thanksgiving.

studying
haha studying with jess is so funny and great lol that is all =)

dinner
tempura... mmmmmmm i like charlie's lunchbox. had dinner with kat todaya dn the weiiiirdest thing happened. all of a sudden, kat spaces out... and goes:
"good morning ladies... good MORNING kathryn"
:| ... O_O ..... what the crap!?!?!? lol

babbling
oh man... i talked about accountability at frosh cell today and i never realized how much i babble when i'm nervous. i wanted to ducttape my mouth shut. i pretty much told them i 1. go clubbing 2. swear 3. drink... not in those words obviously and that wasnt' the meaning i was trying to convey but it came out so wrong and i kept correcting myself eeeeek hopefully ppl dont' think i'm really corrupt now.
i really wanted to say (and i hope in some way i did) how much God works through prayer support and brothers and sisters in christ sharing intimately.

putting it into practice
so after i TALKED about accountability... went over to alison's and shared and prayed with alison, jackie, laura, kat, jo, and clara =) it was good to catch up and say "how can we help you?" becuase sometimes... we need not only to talk but to put our words into action. and find out what tangable ways we can give of ourselves. i'm praying for you girls.

this week, i will look at the BLESSINGS in my life... oh hey, it's thanksgiving afterall! ... THANKYOU. =)

hi october.

I hope to lose myself for good
I hope to find it in the end
Not in me
It's You
It's all I know