Sunday, December 14, 2008
Thursday, December 11, 2008
All I Want for Christmas
In the name of procrastination, here's my Christmas Wishlist:
- The nail polish Taylor Swift is wearing in this video (minus the polka dots).
- Panasonic AV Room Headphones.
- Festive fashion, Red Converse.
- Snowplay.
- Poloroid camera
- A record player; spin some cheer.
- Traditional Christmas with the familia: brunch and the opening of 'practical' gifts in turn.
- Urban Outfitters items/gift cards.
- Fatty holiday food.
- External harddrive; to save things.
- International phone-calls.
- To win the iTouch from work.
- To be secure in love, beyond a shadow of a doubt.
- A hella-lot of belting out Christmas faves.
Friday, December 05, 2008
My grandma knew how to run.
And when her children were torn from her arms, when her father in law scoured her heels, she did not fall down in defeat. She held tightly to the infant she had in her arms, and she ran.
Enduring hunger, and pain, and sickness, she ran. Eating bark from trees, fighting desperately to keep her baby alive.
And when she finally arrived in Hong Kong. She gritted her teeth and began a new life. And had new hopes and new children.
And I can just imagine days where the mahjong tiles would stop clicking for a brief moment, long enough for the thoughts to settle like the moisture from the sizzling HK air. Days where she'd have had to fight to keep her heart from breaking.
My grandma knew how to fight.
Many years later, when my grandfather had already passed away, and when all but one of her children were far from her, she returned to China. To a house that my grandfather had built for those children they had to leave behind. And she stayed there and fought like I've never heard of anyone fighting for their life until she'd seen every last person she needed to see, even though we were all so slow at trickling back.
Maybe the important thing is not that my grandma knew how to run, and that she knew how to fight, but that she knew when to run and when to fight. And that she had the strength of character (or possibly stubbornness) to follow through on what she had to do no matter how hard life's kicks were.
That's what you leave behind for me, Poh Poh. I'm glad you no longer need to run or fight. Rest easy.
And when her children were torn from her arms, when her father in law scoured her heels, she did not fall down in defeat. She held tightly to the infant she had in her arms, and she ran.
Enduring hunger, and pain, and sickness, she ran. Eating bark from trees, fighting desperately to keep her baby alive.
And when she finally arrived in Hong Kong. She gritted her teeth and began a new life. And had new hopes and new children.
And I can just imagine days where the mahjong tiles would stop clicking for a brief moment, long enough for the thoughts to settle like the moisture from the sizzling HK air. Days where she'd have had to fight to keep her heart from breaking.
My grandma knew how to fight.
Many years later, when my grandfather had already passed away, and when all but one of her children were far from her, she returned to China. To a house that my grandfather had built for those children they had to leave behind. And she stayed there and fought like I've never heard of anyone fighting for their life until she'd seen every last person she needed to see, even though we were all so slow at trickling back.
Maybe the important thing is not that my grandma knew how to run, and that she knew how to fight, but that she knew when to run and when to fight. And that she had the strength of character (or possibly stubbornness) to follow through on what she had to do no matter how hard life's kicks were.
That's what you leave behind for me, Poh Poh. I'm glad you no longer need to run or fight. Rest easy.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
A thank you.
Upon reflection, I find myself so indebted to someone that my own words fall short of what I mean to say. For S, this is "thank you", for everyone else, just listen because its a good song! :)
Everyday by the Rascal FlattsYou could've bowed out gracefully--But you didn't,
You knew enough to know to leave well enough alone--But you wouldn't
I drive myself crazy tryin' to stay out of my own way,
The messes that I make,
But my secrets are so safe,
The only one who gets me,
Yeah, you get me,
It's amazing to me.
[CHORUS]
How every day
Every day, every day
You save my life
I come around all broken down and
Crowded out
And you're comfort
Sometimes the place I go
Is so deep and dark and desperate
I don't know, I don't know
[Repeat Chorus]
Sometimes I swear, I don't know if I'm comin' or goin'.
But you always say something without even knowin'
that I'm hangin' on to your words with all of my might and it's alright,
Yeah, I'm alright for one more night-
Every day
Every day, every day, every day
Every day, every day
You save me, you save me, oh, oh, oh
Every day
Every, every, every day-
Every day you save my life.
Treading Water
Is it just me or do bad things tend to group together and descend all at once? Its like they collaborate before actually arriving, plotting the perfect time to strike. And usually, its an inconvenient time like, say, during finals.
Or maybe things just seem worse and more noticable at points where you don't think you have the time or energy to handle them.
What's so bad about running anyway? It's not like I'm not functioning properly or something, right? Pick your battles. Deal with what you absolutely must, and the rest, let it roll right off your shoulder or sink so far down you don't have to think about it.
If you've gone so long without dealing with certain issues, then what's the hurry to do it now?
I suppose though, sometimes, given certain knowledge, there is nothing you can do but deal.
But what I wouldn't give to have it all go away.
I hate being forced to confront things I have no hope of figuring out.
Or maybe things just seem worse and more noticable at points where you don't think you have the time or energy to handle them.
What's so bad about running anyway? It's not like I'm not functioning properly or something, right? Pick your battles. Deal with what you absolutely must, and the rest, let it roll right off your shoulder or sink so far down you don't have to think about it.
If you've gone so long without dealing with certain issues, then what's the hurry to do it now?
I suppose though, sometimes, given certain knowledge, there is nothing you can do but deal.
But what I wouldn't give to have it all go away.
I hate being forced to confront things I have no hope of figuring out.
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