HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAT!!!! :D ... hm i guess belated since its 2:22 am... another seventeen leaving me in the dust ;)
- had breakfast with kat, kare, mo,auntie sandy and uncle michael at texas bbq yum!
- helped auntie juana move ... encountered some RUDE people... grrrr....
- dinnerat east sides w kat dora mo kare viv pt and jo wall and di came later for cake
- chatted with mo abouta lot of stuff :) twas nice ...

ok that was a really boring entry.

...waiting.

worth

mine is none.

just got up ... it's really nice in here... completely quiet save the whispers of the trees being aroused by the wind and the occasional groan of a car crawling up phillip street... the sun's hidden behind clouds so the light is dim filtering through the screens... it's so peaceful. i love it except for the fact that quietness like this causes me to think too much.

time.
one minute someone's here... and the next... you don't know if you'll be seeing them again. or worse, you know you won't be.
it's funny how much i think i'm such a "part of the family" until something like this happens and it's like bang. and i'm hit with the blunt realization of how much i'm not. i just really pray for peace and comfort for all of them...
but it's not just about that.
it[s so crazy. realizing how much you treasure people. how much they mean to you ... really. and you don't really treasure every single minute you have with them until... they're almost gone. it just seems so unfair. all of this. all of everything seems like utter unfairness.
and yeah maybe it's part of some intricate plan God has for me.. for everyone. but i find it difficult to see the big picture when it hurts so much.

steph: the pics on the side are my moo cow and underneath is me... i'll post more pics soon like tommorow :) so keep checking... hope u and my parents are having fun :)

crashing at g's tonight.. was just at the rec center and saw the MOST disgusting thing EVER
this woman comes out of the shower area COMPLETELy naked. i'm like sitting on a bench thing in front of the lockers.. and she stands like RIGHT in front of me. so naturally i look away onto the bench beside me... and then she comes over and sets her stuff down right beside me and starts drying herself -- still completely naked. and THEN.... she walks over to the hair dryers and is like drying her pubes or something i was like AGHHHHGGHHGHGH!!!! >_< oh the horror. she was like 50 years old or something likethat... wow man. that was just scarring.

wonderland was really fun :) ... it exeeded my expectations. old friends, new friends, far friends, and near friends... :)

will post pictures sooon :)
gotta get some time to sit around on my comp :)

it's been a fun week :) busy and fun :)
-finished drivers ed!! :) woot!
-picked up my bui yee from the airport and had a "sleep"over... hehe stayed up til 6:30 am catching up and stuff :) really great. missed u a lot tiffling.
-hung out with auntie maureen all day :) good to talk and stuff...
-went to ikea tonite! :D i lub ikea and sang with jo and di for the frist time in 3 months! :D

and above all-- the food has been great :D
hehe i had... homecooked, harveys, pizza, burger king, kin tin, swiss chalet and Ben than twice!! :) hehehe
yummalicious...

"you're fattening" LOL...

my family should be there by now...

the drivers ed in class teacher is SO MEAN! .. at first it hought he was just a nice old man... but today he just ....UGHHHHH!!!!
and yesterday with the frapp! like gimme a break! ... he doesn't like me for NO REASON.

hmph.

going up to jo's now... bahhhhh i can't carry all this stuff and my parents like hid the sleeping bags or something cuz they're gone.

i think ... finally... I'm over him. :)

today-- i broke my two week no swearing streak over a caramel frappucino. *sigh* :( ... ugh. it's hard. i'm worried because right now i'm not in an environment where someone cusses every two seconds unlike when i get back to school ... where it'll be even more difficult to maintain self control. :(

driving school was okay -- BORING -- but not as bad as i thought it would be. i have a nice old man teacher who is frazzled and tells a lot of stories ... but he doesn't lke people drinking inside :P bah. lauren (dumering!) and rachel jantzi accompanied me and jo to harvey's for lunch :) yummooo ...
it's nice cuz Canada Driving School is across the street from harveys and chapters-- STARBUCKS -- caramel frappucino :) so it's convenient to go get lunch and coffee... and yYA! we're a quarter done! :)

.... phone calls... freaking out... eminem... puppy sounds... laughing my head off...
i miss you.

and i miss vbs too. :(

wow... it's been almost a week since i last blogged....
it just seems like every time i go to blog something happens-- like the black out for example ...
it's crazy how much our society depends upon electricity... i myself slept at 10:30 for lack of anything better to do .... annnnnnnd i slept on the GROUND of my family room cuz it was SO hot upstairs since the ac was gone... "slept" is more accurate since i woke up like every 5 min. it was soooo uncomfortable... the highlight of the evening was when kat and mo and daniel and kadin came over and we took pictures to amuse ourselves after it got too dark to really even do much by candlelight... hahahaha...

for your viewing pleasure:

This one is my personal favourite.... HAHAHA







.... we're tryign to look scared... hahaha... because... well... it's a black out... sooo... id unno...

ontario place was a blast yesterday! :)
jon and jason met up with us which was really cool -- cool to see them both again! :)
skaters are cool!

SO tired... jo, g, dora and i were practicing vbs songs :P ... hahaha... soo funny...so EXHAUSTING!
honestly... our actions are extremely tiring :P ... it's like doing aerobics :P
twas fun tho :) my dad took pictures! O_o... *shudder* we look so weiiiiird~!

hey you know what?
i've been really happy these couple of days... i've noticed that i have very little "beef" with anyone or anything...
it's nice :). perhaps not *quite* as interesting... but nice.

kat jo dora viv and i are going to see Freaky Friday tonight LOL... :P ... cuz Tristan from GG is in it :P ...
but it actually looks kinda interesting... the Parent Trap girl is in it and i liked the Parent Trap :)

went to the church last night me and dora got the banner for the front door all done!

annnnnnnnnnnnd............. i'm goign to Ontario Place tommorow!!!!! WOOT! :D .. hehe :) sorry but man... when u haven't done liek ANYTHING all summer... its' like "fong gaam" ya kno? plus-- a certain boy will be there *GUSH*
hahaha......
oh it's always abotu the boy *grin*

went to the church tonight (wednesday) to paint the vbs banner and sharpie the backdrops which were WOWWWWWly painted btw!!! .. they did such a good job.. i wish i didn't have to miss out :( ... i mean, the kids are great but... i wish i didn' thave to go alonnnnne to church to do it but i couldn't expect anyone to come with me... but actually i was pleasantly surprised.

Paul (Wang) ended up staying with me and helping me ... and it was nice cuz we dont' seem to have much in common yet we had a really interesting conversation... about all sorts of stuff including the importance of children's ministry which i think is a really big deal... and abotu unity in the church and etcetc... it was really nice to be able to chat and to have help haha :)... we got the jungle and the sea doneee! :) ... also egypt was done from the other day... i added a few finishing touches... but yeah... they were painted so well!... i admire the colour coordination :)
check it [note: it looks better in person :P] :
Egypt

Jungle

Under the Sea/Finding Nemo

lazy summer days are really nice =) ...

yesterday shabba and jeremy showed up at my door-- it was like WOW. haven't seen those two for a long long while... and it was really nice. unbelievably nice :)

had sooo much fun prepping for vbs today :) hehe... after i crawled under a fence to get to church, dora jo viv and i walked down to zehrs and got some junk food to much on while we painted and -- SHORT STOP SELLS CHERRY COKE!!!! :)
on the way there my klutzyness prevails AGAIN ... me and viv were crossing hte street and i tripped over the one cm curb and fall FLAT on my face :P the lady int he car gave me a look :P hmph. lol at least she didn't run me over or burst out laughing like i would have if i'd been in her position haha.. yeah we laughed for a while abotu that :P and our sets actually look nice now!!!!! -- except for the first one we did that one is still ugly :P ...
i'm not painting anymore i'm filling in details and tracing with a black permanent marker... i'm better at drawing than painting in the lines :P :)

ladeeda...

apology


i can be the most knowledgable christian ever, know all the right answers, believe so strongly in Jesus... but if i am unwilling to shape my life to be more like Christ ... then what kind of Christian am i? ...


God usually sends me wake up calls in the form of either life lows or certain people. i'm guessing it's because He knows that's what gets to me the most. and at first i thought "kay this is not really a big deal"... but actually i just spent the past bit praying about it... and i think this is something that really needs to be changed. otherwise, i don't think God would let people bring this up-- repeatedly.
so i just wanted to apologize for the profanity that's somehow snuck itself into this blog. ok. no. i shouldn't say it like that. because in typing i have every ability to look and delete. yet, i always decide to myself that i want this to be a record of my unedited thoughts-- completely real. i never gave a second thought to how maybe it IS important to edit... important to edit our thoughts everyday important to edit our thoughts before they become actions that can cause those to stumble. if i proclaim myself to be a Christian then i really need to clean it up. not just in this aspect of my life of course but i think this is something so simple that has been neglected because of my stubborness and sometimes desire to be stagnant. I think God is really telling me not only about swearing but ... well really about editting my thoughts. i mean, i always think it's stupid to do so but really-- i SHOULD be always doing just that. naturally, i am a very very sinful person but that doesn't mean that i should remain sinful because that's how i "really" am. even if in the beginning changing these sins seems forced and unnatural, practicing this change, by prayer, petition, and effort is what makes it natural and what God can use to help me become a NATURALLY less sinful person. Likewise with this swearing on my blog. Just because it is naturally what i am thinking when i'm typing, taking a tiny bit of effort in editing these thoughts can prove to help me be more aware of this sin and perhaps make it more natural for me not to swear....
and so i'd really like to change. honest. i think swearing is somethingthat God really wants out of my system because it is a constant stumbling block for others and especially for myself in being a good witness and being the most Christlike person i can be.


"9With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. 10Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11Can both fresh water and salt[1] water flow from the same spring? 12My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. " james 3:9-12


so.. yeah. i prayed about it... and thought about it... and i'd like to be someone who produces fresh water, someone whose tongue is used as much as possible only to bring glory to God. so i apologize for the profanity that has occured in this blog and i will definitely refrain from that from now on. i'm sorry if it has caused anyone to stumble, or be offended... i'm sorry that you even had to lay eyes on it. this isn't easy... i mean, admitting that it's a problem isn't easy... but it shouldn't be. living a Christian life... shouldn't be easy. and i've known that. always known that. but God ... i'm willing to try really really really hard and struggle... because yeah, i'm really stubborn and whatnot but ... i really DO want to follow You completely.
and yeah...i know that there's a lot more to taming the tongue than just killing the profanity in my blog... but hey, baby steps.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DI!!!!
ur no longer a teennnnn ur a teeeee haha..
-did vbs prep at church today... sets were.. heh... ok they were really ugly after me esther and victoria started painting them...hahaa and right after victoria goes "jasmine youre' such an artist" LOL -- totally NOT. the sets are so ugly :P haha.. btu they look better from far away and that's what matters :P:)

oh the irony

if you could hear me laughing right now you'd hear this scornful breathy laugh and see eyes cast toward the grainy ceiling and black head shaking in disgusted yet pleased disbelief.
during a heated msn conversation with a friend about life, problems, and expectations i found myself launching into this shpiel [disclaimer: i am not displaying the context in respect for my friend so please don't think i'm cocky]:

*moomoobear*--- all wrong. says:
you know what? ...


*moomoobear*--- all wrong. says:
i think ... its' all about perspective.


*moomoobear*--- all wrong. says:
like... ok. i have a lot i complain about as well ... and so ... i have no business in saying you don't have a right ot complain about whatever


*moomoobear*--- all wrong. says:
because yeah shit happens. but shit happens to everyone. and ... i dunno i think i myself... well... i've been moping alot lately. becuase of stuff that isn't seemingly goign my way..


*moomoobear*--- all wrong. says:
and i think..."gosh this sucks. my life sucks. blabalbla" but does it really? i mean, how many good things do i have going for me that others dont' have? and not only that but if i decide that i'm goign to focus on everything negative... maybe i'm not as "important" seemingly as others, maybe people i htink are amazing and whatever dont' love me or love me as much as i'd like... but who the hell am i to expect anything from anyone? [especially those i regard in such high esteem]


*moomoobear*--- all wrong. says:
or anything from God even? and if i regard everything in a negative way then that's just what it's going to be-- negative. because i wont find anything in anything. it's like... a self fulfilling prophesy.


*moomoobear*--- all wrong. says:
Philippians 2
Imitating Christ's Humility
1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus


*moomoobear*--- all wrong. says:
i'm not saying i actually do all these things that i just said... i think that was just more of a self reflection actually wow.


i think i take to heart more than i think i do. sitting on a park bench kicking at the sand or clutching the phone against my ear i sometimes thought "it's logical but inapplicable" but on the outside looking in it seemed so obvious to me -- and then looking upon my own life... my own feelings, it all makes so much more sense now. i think i have an idea of where i need to start in my own life... where to start to discover my purpose-- something i've been thinking about alot.

i think in order to understand what i percieve success as for myself, i need to first understand who i am completely as a person... not grasping at what i think i want because of whatever seems to me as "the norm"... but what is REALLY valuable to me. and to place God above all these wants and all these values... and when i've TRULY made God the head of my life it is obvious that He will have an easier time revealing His plan for me, and what my purpose is. Becuase if He were to reveal it to me NOW... i would most probably try to shape it into something that fits my own worldy views and values... until it became something undesirable.

Considering God made me i think He knows better what i REALLY want, what i TRULY need much much better than i do. and instead of praying for material possessions, the love of others, a boyfriend... etc... i shoudl really be praying for wisdom and guidance and the ability to be humble and to love others regarding them as better than myself, and for focus in knowing Him and loving Him with all of my heart and soul and mind. It's so much easier said than done... but i think that's what i really want to achieve... i think that's what i think is real maturity...

i don't know how to end this suitably, but that was a really good reflection of sorts...

had viet noodles with patty and g tonite yumyumyum :) ... food and talk was good :)
tommorow vbs prep-- painting!! :Dkeke
also i added WALL's BLOG!!! check it out!! -- this is at the bottom of a huge long post so i will most likely elaborate tommorow so ppl will actually read it maybe :P