just got up ... it's really nice in here... completely quiet save the whispers of the trees being aroused by the wind and the occasional groan of a car crawling up phillip street... the sun's hidden behind clouds so the light is dim filtering through the screens... it's so peaceful. i love it except for the fact that quietness like this causes me to think too much.

time.
one minute someone's here... and the next... you don't know if you'll be seeing them again. or worse, you know you won't be.
it's funny how much i think i'm such a "part of the family" until something like this happens and it's like bang. and i'm hit with the blunt realization of how much i'm not. i just really pray for peace and comfort for all of them...
but it's not just about that.
it[s so crazy. realizing how much you treasure people. how much they mean to you ... really. and you don't really treasure every single minute you have with them until... they're almost gone. it just seems so unfair. all of this. all of everything seems like utter unfairness.
and yeah maybe it's part of some intricate plan God has for me.. for everyone. but i find it difficult to see the big picture when it hurts so much.