annnnnnnnnd ACTION.

if i can kill habits people CAN'T see, and i know i can, then why shouldn't i be able to do the same with things in the open?
in highschool, i had a confidence and determination about me. i TORE through things with passion and determination, despite costs. despite fear of disappointment. joanna thinks this confidence has just been "put to the side" ... and i'm gonna prove her right. and for once, prove others wrong.

(for the record, i'm writing this down because it'll be harder for me to run away from it if its up in writing.)

here we GO.
in order to deal with my problems i must find constructive alternatives to the DESTRUCTIVE things i do. beucase the root of my problems is, well, running.
and my running has become destructive.

alison said a few weeks ago; "you do so much running emotionally, you should do some physically instead!"
so i'm gonna run. well, i'm gonna excercise. mondays and wednesdays hitting up cif at around 10 am.

i am going to stay away from what i need to stay away from until christmas. after that, whenever i am faced with what tempts me, i'm gonna pray. afterall, maybe that's the solution in finding the balance between my own effort and trusting God. just asking for his help when it seems more than i can bear. i know that often, when i'm about to give into my temptations, i will just push God out of my mind.... but if i always have God in my mind and heart, then how can i fall?

and how will i remember? by telling the people who i actually DO those things with to remind me. instead of the people who might not be there anyways.

*breathes out*.