a mess of things

i feel likei havne't updated in a long time...i knowithasn't been long but everything i've been writing about is like "i did this...and then i did this"...

i don't know why but i thought i'd just automatically start growing up once i got into university .. of course, this isn'tthe case at all. i can't believe summer has been over for two weeks. i haven't done everythigni wanted to do... two books still stand unread, grad pictures still unwritten... and suddenly school's started.all i've really talked about is how fun everything is, and it has been! but i just wanna take some time to share my inner struggles.

accountability
i guess i wasn't prepared for accountability... even though i'vebeen praying for it for a while. there are a lot of temptations here. more so than in highschool... and i keep trying to figure out for myself what is right or wrong or inbetween... what is overstepping the boundaries for me? last year and years past all i'd do is call someone up and be like "is this ok? or is this not ok?" but i just feel like i need to just make my own decisions about certain things. i mean, some things are just a matter of opinion, and it's time i formed my own. but then what happens is there are things that i really misjudge becuase of the heat of the moment, surrounding influence, curiousity... etc.. And God placed someone there to hold me accountable to my actions. i thought that was what i wanted, but at the time i was frustrated. i wasnt' preparedfor someone to straight up tell me how stupid i was being, but now it's like wow. i am blessedwith such a good friend. unfortuneately, i went and made a different mistake instead...

ok i'm stopping here. trying to be vague is just like writing nothing. what i really just wanted to say is that praise God there are ppl here keepign me frommyself. and to my friend-- thanks.