blogging in the library again...
tara is madly finishing her essay...
and me? i'm escaping my ever pointless english class...

that baptism blog is still coming if anyone is actually still interested after an entire month.
but yeah.. i semi forgot until i read alan's comment in the gbookie..
and wow. i have to write abotu this.
"I've heard that the hardest time for Christians is in the weeks after their Baptism. So much prayer and preparation and then that
public testimony. Oh, how Satan abhors public testimony. The attack on our lives increases in some waning attempt to say, "You
stand up for Him but I can break you - where is your God?" But make no mistake. Amidst the disappointment of self and others...
Jesus Christ is still there. Patient. Strong. Still. Small. Voice. "
it';s weird. well not weird... more like... perfect. that right when i was at a huge point of self loathing i read that and ...
yeah see, these few weeks... well this month.. has been very challenging to say the least. i mean, i made a promise to God and myself that i was gonna work really hard to display His love in my life. but i couldn't understand because it seemed like there were more temptations then ever and at first i was okay but then they just kept coming and coming and i found myself failing in every way possible. and all i wanted to do was give up. because no matter how hard i seemed to be trying, i was still constantly disappointing myself and others. well.. i should say i AM still disappointing myself and others. cuz it is still kind of continuing. but i'm more braced for it now. because i acknowledge the fact that it's happening and have given it up to God. before.. well i thought it was just me.. id din't want to admit it because ... well i was just too proud. and i was thinking "gosh girl, you just got baptised and now you can't do anything right anymore. that can't possibly be normal." so i guess i tried to decieve myself mostly and pretend nothing was happening. but at least now i know i'm not some kind of crazy freak =) and i can just keep praying and not giving up =) so thanks alan cuz that was superb timing.

ps. HEIDI"S IN AUSSIEE!!!!!! =)