this has been somewhat of a disappointing week.
to top it all off ... i've been somewhat of a disappointment.
i dont' know how long i've been kicking myself becuase i can't do things right. and gosh. i screwed up pretty big..
i'm just so upset with myself because i've violated what is one of the most important things to me.. that being trust.
AHHH why am i such an idiot!?
i suppose i will just learn from the situation but... at the same time i can't stop being so angry with myself even if the other party is no longer upset with me. just cuz i really care abotu them... and i never mean to hurt anyone but i do. why must i be so incompetant? and why must my incompetance always hurt the ones i love most?

tried to take my mind off it but also wallow a bit in my misery... things i found most therapeutic:
- biking with di
- thick chocolate milkshake from st. cin's =) *drool*
- 3 Doors Down : Away from the Sun
- banging on the drums
- drumsticks at sobeys
- dixie chicks =) (thanks beata)

i'm so sorry...