lately
"... just sitting away watching the days go by."

finals are upon us. and on finishing this race, running as hard as i can, i also feel like i'm just sitting here not able to enjoy the last moments i have much... this home that has been built... it's gonna disappear in 11 days. (or so)

i get so frustrated because i'm TRYING to "be here now" but being here is just studying for finals right now, it's looking outside at the beautiful weather and not really being a part of it. it's trying not to be a distraction. and i'm TRYING not to dwell on things i can't change but that's hard too because everywhere around me are elements of this "home" that i can not leave behind right now. pieces of my being that provoke tears, even just the shadows of the glass tunnel birds.

(1/5)