so it's today.

and despite all my efforts to stop it from coming, it came. well did i expect any less? i guess not... oh but i hoped.

so here i sit with my swollen eyes and heavy head reflecting on the bits and pieces of last night that i have. really just trying to figure out which one came first and what exactly some of the whisperings meant.

while showering some of the memories rushed back on me like the steady flow of the water... guess i can kick myself all i want but it happened. it's so sad how jsut a couple drops can make you burst out every feeling you have... make you grab on so tightly even though you KNOW you should let go. impaired judgement really is only not letting you stop yourself from doing what you want to do but know you shouldn't do.

just a question though, what happens when our little "dysfunctional family" disappears? who the crap is gonna push my damp hair behind my ears and mop up my tears?

i'm sorry.