HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATTYCAKES AND LYDS =) =)
happy belated thanksgiving everyone! i'm thankful for you :)

hahahahahaha-- fwd i got below... suits my mood today. i'm really not having a good day at all. everyone is really pissing me off. and also, i can't stop thinking about how stupid i am because of something i did that has seemingly screwed up a friendship forever. i went for a walk today alone and sat in the park with my sketchbook, my dicsman and my scrapbook~ aloneness can be so therapeutic. especially when you just want to get away from your family.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the
wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill
today because they pissed me off.

And also, help me to be careful of the toes
I step on today as they may be connected
to the butt that I may have to kiss tomorrow.

Help me to always give 100% at work...
12% on Monday
23% on Tuesday
40% on Wednesday
20% on Thursday
5% on Fridays

And help me to remember...
When I'm having a really bad day,
and it seems that people are trying to piss me off,
that it takes 42 muscles to frown and
only 4 muscles to extend my middle finger
and tell them to bite me!

i finally put in my guestbook! :D i got it like months and months ago but was just too lazy to stick it up on the pg =P so now i did... soooo... sign it!! =D thanks muah*** ~
i went to the photography meeting today =) i'm so superdidooperly excited!! my dad's letting me use his camera too -- it's supposedly a nice camera that's like really expensive -- but old. but i can't use mine cuz mine uses APS film...
after the meeting today, jo and i walked home together-- twas a nice make up for our lack of weekly mcdonalds breakfast bonding time... also, ya know how i've been wanting to get away? hum.. maybe maybe not. anyways. i've been wanting to get away from the reality of my world for a bit. wanting to go back to pei or just disappear for a while... not have to be me or at least not have to think about being me. well today i got my wish. hahahahaa~*~*~ tis too funny :) if you were there u would be crackin up too =P ... well jo and i are walking down university and seeing all these uw pplz and whatever and jo's like "ugh. we don't look like we're in university."
and i was like "well maybe we could pass as frosh.." and right then these two girls [who we assumed were frosh] walked by and the one girl's like "i'm *SO SURPRISED*!!!" so we started laughing our heads off and being like "i'm *SO SURPRISED*!! there. now i'm a frosh hahaha." and i dun remember who it was that was like "oooh! let's pretend we're frosh and start talking about intelligent stuff!" so jo starts and the first intelligent thing that comes to her mind is --- fatty acids! hahahahaha so we became general science frosh! :) her name -- mckenzie lee and mine was ryanne chan or did i change it to dani or somethign i can't remember. anyhoo so we're just like "SOOOO... how are your classes going? it's *so* cool that we are in the same biology class! i'm *so surprised*! our prof is very nice.." blablabalbla and we started asking eachother "so... what highschool did you go to?" and all this omgoodness it was so funny and we were actually acting so serious about it as we passed people standing around and stuff and they *so* thought we were university students they did they did! and supposedly, i have a boyfriend named jordan that goes to western and "mckenzie" has a sister named Lucy who's in fourth year in pei hahaha... yes... i know we're strange but it was our hyper deed of the day =P but in a strange way it was not fun only because we were being silly but because i got to assume another identity and for an hour, become someone who didn't have to deal with any of the things in my life right now...
but on the other hand... it also made me think about [because mckenzie and ryanne's lives were sort of screwed up] how many amazing blessings i have and how great God is to me all the time. ... i was listening to Before Your Love by kelly clarkson and it's about a guy but part of it really reminds me totally of God's love [>]
"I wonder how I ever made it through the day
How did I settle for a world in shades of gray?
When you go in circles all the scenery looks the same
And you don't know how
And I looked into your eyes
With the world stretched out in front of me and I realized
I never lived before your love
I never felt before your touch
I never needed anyone to make me feel alive
But then again, I wasn't really living
I never lived before your love " [kelly clarkson]

everyone wash your instant noodles. [patty does too :)] wow i'm just discovering all these people who care about not eating wax! hoorah! :)

p.s. bo peep also washes her noodles heehee =)
pps. i don't like needles =( owie.

in the libraryagain... i signed out of study today:) goingto getmyTBskintest done in like 20min...so i'm chilling herefor 20minwhile i wait for my mom. it'sthis computer again. ahk! why is it that everytime i come to the lib i get stuckwith thestupid computer with the messed up keyboard? hmph.

Miss Vickie's Roasted GarlicandHerb chipsare really good... just picked myself up some :9 yum yum.they are loaded with msg...but SOOO good. at least no wax unlike instant noodles ... unless u wash them like tm does. but idon't think very many people do. boy oh boy i want more. by the way, sheepie, that is hilarious! who wrote that? hahahahahaha i'm guessing caleb hahahahahaha so funny. iknow it wasn't me. i wrote "for God so loved the world that He gave his oneand only son thatwhosoever believesin him shall not perishbut have ever lasting life." bORing. well no. it's really not boring, it'sthe actual thing. but i then, didn't make up an interperative dance to go with it either =P

excerpt from an email i wrote my friend today ==>>i miss you la!
[things have been really bleh. i've been really frustrated by my own incompetance compared to others lately ... today sort of set it off... i dunno ... i'm pmsing and then there's just all these ppl who are just pissing me off so much but i really wanna try to not be so reactive in every situation so i shut up and keep it inside like today with ********** and ********.. and then there's guitar which just proves how much better all my friends are than me and ughughguhguhguhgh i'm just so sick of it all and also i DON"T HTINK I HAVE A SPIRITUAL GIFT! *inhale* exhale* ... calm calm calm calm calm ... ]
need some midol.

having one of those days. one of those days where it's hard... hard to remember the significance of my existance. wait a sec. what significance? i'm not quite sure what is the matter with me these days. but i'm suddenly feeling this big insecurity that i usually do not displeasure of feeling. perhaps this is due to certain elements such as the weather or the time of the month. =P

i think it was lyds who once said that i never blog about my family. well here i go-- my mother was pissing me off so increduously much today i wanted to scream! as i said, i haven't had a great week and i was trying to talk to her about one of these insecurities that i've bee feeling. i was telling her about how this guy in my bio class came up to dora and i and asked dora for her contact info etc.. and how all these guys have been going for dora lately and bla bla bla... oh my goodness are mothers not supposed to care about your feelings? well i really don't think mine does because gosh she just was like "oh! did dora give him her info?" and i'm like "yeah.." and she's like "omg if someone asks you don't give them your info bla bla bal bla" and i was just like "OH MY GOSH! WHO FRIGGEN CARES!??!!" here i am trying to pour my heart out to her and all she cares abotu is stupid little details that are of no significance cuz if she can't tell the whole POINT to the story in the first place is about how these situations are NOT HAPPENING TO *ME*!!!!! why is it that she can't be just a bit more sensitive?! and then she gets all pissed and is like "that's important! you have such a bad attitude." well guess what? i dont' friggen care if i am the biggest bitch in the entire world right now. but of course my feelings come second to your ridiculous obsession with the unimportant details in my stories. i can't stand it when people do that. pick at the little tiny things i say and point out all my mistakes in my sentences... like when i'm going on a rant and they interupt me when i swear or say something that is not good enough for them. well gosh maybe just once in a while i'd like it if people could just listen to me. just listen and give their opinion at the end about the actual situation and not about how the car in my story should actually be blue not yellow or something. i've been finding this a lot with my mom lately. it's just been like... crazy. i was so happy last week cuz this girl that i was praying would come to church came and when i asked her if she'd help out with singsperation she said yes and i was so psyched so i started to tell my mom and i was like "oh my gosh! you know what happened? you know victoria?..." and she's like "why do you always have to say oh my gosh or whatever? you always say that. one of the people i work with said that's not good" [she always talks about the people she works with. they thing pissed off means something abotu a horse peeing or something O_o] and i just got so mad because i had the most greatest news and all she can do is pick at whatever doesn't matter and i was just like "forget it." and walked off cuz i just can't take it anymore.

anyways i could go on about my dad and my sister but i'll save that for another day. i'm already stressed out enuff. have worship practice tommorow :D so excited cuz i haven't done worship since summer... cept i'm also not excited at the same time because i dont' get to drum this term... but that's ok. i'm open for new experiences... we shall see how it goes :P ... gonna go catch up on some sleep. or something.

[this pic is soo cute :) it's from this amazing book of photography i got for my birthday from gen waiki and lue it's prolly one of my favourite things i own-- AHH! i love photography... ]


"hanging from the ceiling life's a mobile spinning round with mixed feelings crazy and wild... sometimes i wanna SCREAM OUT LOUD-- everything's changing when i turn around all out of my control i'm a mobile..."
summer's over. or so it seems... it got pretty hot again these past few days but i think it's pretty much settling into fall now... ahhhh i'm gonna miss my tan. the sun beating down on my bare skin-- mmmm. summer's my favourite season-- the season in which i have not a care in the world as i bask about in the sunlight soaking in the warmth of the rays contemplating what i'd like to do in the next spur of a moment. i flip my hair to the expectations of the world. now it's fall... i'm into the school *gag* mode now. dreading each day as it comes.. having only weekends as a motivation to move on with each passing hour, with each passing class. SAT meeting tommorow morning. will i go to school in the states? will i not? what are my future plans for my life? "what are you going to be when you grow up?" the "overkilled" question haunts my mind as even my subconcious is asking me. you know there's something unsettling about realizing that each grade you make is contributing to either helping or ruining your future. my gosh. i don't wanna deal with this right now. perhaps i will go to Devri [right dora? hahahaha] or perhaps gladys and i will get our cardboard box lol [along with our couch that was thrown out by someone in wcri and our keyboard-so we can make some moula] =) =P where will i be in two years time? i can't believe i have to decide in one. i'm sixteen-- i'm goign to university when i'm still seventeen-- ugh. where will all my friends be? where will everything i'm used to be?....



i feel like i need a hug right now. when i close my eyes i can just picture myself as that little girl *grin* so much is going on. hugs are for happy and sad...
happy: Waterloo Christian fellowship [aka Interschool C F] started today.. i'm hoping to get a lot more involved this year... last year i just showed up and sat around...
singsperation stuff is starting to get done..... starting...
i'm learnign guitar!!! omgomgomg yeah :) i'm hoping i'll be able to play good soon :D
this girl... who isn't a christian who i've been praying for is coming to church now.. it's more complicated then that so more happier but i dun feel like typing it all out...
sad: school
feeling betrayed. not gonna say by whom. but let's just say when people say something they should keep their word. when people say ur their friend they should act it. when people say they arent' goign to change due to certain circumstances they shouldn't. don't treat me like an inferior you dick [even tho you're not reading most likely] who the hell do you think you are? jsut because i'm a 16 year old girl doesn't mean what you say to me doesn't count. oh my goodness betrayed is not the word. more like stabbed.
i have zero love life right now... i have no boyfriend and no interests. nothing. ahhh :P that could be good too i guess. *sigh*

well that's all for now. hey lookie there's more happy things then sad things.... hoorah!

school---the pain of my existance.=P
mygoodness i wanna go home. it's 9:00am. i'm supposed tobe in english class...but my english teacher isa sweetheart and she doesn't carewhat i do=) ...yayay.butthat doesn't mean i'mhaving any more funhere inthelibrary AH!!! this stupid spacebar doesn't work properlyat all!!! =P
*sigh* i'm gonna go back to class this is pointless and email is firewalled. howabsolutelyretarded.

for vida... =) bah- ha [tm on the floor]
and for general amusement. i took this pic out of complete innocence. i didn't know he sprained his ankle. i thought he was just rolling on the ground. i am so bored now i'm describing this stupid picture. i hate school. we should be paid to do homework...

bday update still comin jo... sorry.

"Nothing brings more joy and meaning into any of our lives than the awareness of being loved. " [Anon.]
wow.
this has been a weekend full of memories that are like colours too vibrant to ever fade... i've been looking forward to my sixteenth bday my whole life... and wow. i really got more than i ever imagined.
i'll explain more tommorow.
o/~ I AM SIXTEEN GOING ON SEVENTEEN!!!!!!o/~

half and hour and then it'll be one day.
one day until sixteen. the moment i've been waiting for all my entire life.
people are like "birthday's aren't a big deal" or whatever... but omg sixteen is a big deal. well for me anyways... i've dreamed of this forever.
of being able to drive. [freedom]
of being able to sing "i am sixteen going on seventeen" and actually have it be a reality... except not the part with the guy... but hey, it's gotta happen sooner or later right? hopefully this year.
of being that *magical* age they portray in the movies ... i know life isn't *really* like the movies. but hey, a girl can dream.
there's more.. but i think i've already made a list of all the benifits of being 16 before so i'll spare you from my long windedness =P

news! i'm getting over him.. the guy i like[d] i mean... today as i was walking home with one of my better guy friends and was joking around with him and feeling really great like i usually do when i'm around him... i realized something. it was so sudden like *poof* .. "OH!" ya know? ... this friend... he's so sweet [no i don't like him he's not available] and just... we dont' hang out *that* much but whenever we do... it's like i always feel so wanted and so ... special. like he really actually appreciates me and what i have to say and jsut me. he just acts like i matter. he doesn't look down on me and doesn't act as if he's better than me or as if i am some stupid girl that doesn't know anything. i love being around him. that's the kind of guy i want. [not him but ya..] the guy i currently am interested in doesn't and can't give me that. he's too set in this mindset that i'm some kid who needs to be taught everything or something. and that because of my age i *must* be a certain way... which is totally untrue. he can never really completely know me because he's just too busy remembering about how i'm different and can never equate to his status. [dont' get me wrong this guy is a totally amazing guy! i wouldn't spend so much time on him if he wasn't. and he's really nice....] but he's not the type for me. i think i will jsut love him as a brother and a friend and forget about him as a potential romantic partner because... he can't love me if he won't take the time to truly truly know me. and i deserve more than that. i made up my mind that God wants me to have more. He wants me to have true love. and i'm gonna "guard my heart" for that true love. i may not think that God planned a specific person for me but i think that he planned for me to have true love that's for sure. i definitely do not have the "gift of singleness". anyhoo... i'm gradually getting over the guy. i still have a really strong attraction to him but i think it'll dissappate soon. :) hoorah! then us girlies can start on our "no guy" thing and see who lasts the longest! i bet i lose :P shmeh. i'm still guy crazy.

15 min. to one day now.

feeling blue, didn't know what to do...

then along came a pal and a whole buncha cows...

and made everything happy and cool! ^_^

yeah that's my poem :P these are the less weird of joanna and my webcam pics haha... they made a nice story =P but i think i'm feeling alot better =) and i have resolved to get over the guy that i am currently in like with. no more breakin MY heart! =P ... five days left...

my feelings....
Without You [kiss]
As I sit here and think
about all that I'm missing.
all that I'm missing oh yeah
But everything that
I could ever ask for of you

All the past time i've spent,
wondered how you've been,
wondered how you've been oh yeah
But the more that you're on my mind,
I'm just lonely and blue can't you see

Why can't you be with me to hold me tight,
just being with you will make everything better and right.

Chorus:
I wanna have you by my side
you always make it right
and without you my heart starts to cry
How will I ever go on,
how will I stay strong
don't you see without you my soul dies

boys are really poopie. [some not all] it's times like this when you need your best so much :P jo and i hung out tonite... took pics withmy web cam which i will post for your amusement tommorow.... gotta go to sleep.... slave labour at 8:15 tommorow :P

*inhale*.... *exhale*.... this is me trying to keep myself from screaming and tearing things apart. in and out. in and out. played around with the image some... trying to be artsy and creative always calms me down. just went around with my dad's digital taking pics of my piano, my origami ball, and my cow.... can't wait to upload those pics so i can screw around with them too-- fun! yes i realize i amuse only myself =P i'm not even going to blog about what's bothering me. already prayed about it. asked God to take away my resentment. it worked for like five minutes..but it's better than before. i need to start building more self control which i do not have.

chilled at eumie's today.. chatting and making almond tofu and stuff... somethign she said really struck me though. we were just like talking about who knows what and then she goes "so... do you think you've grown spiritually at all during the last year?" and i was like "erh? i dunno...." i mean, i never really thought about it... but i'm really glad she thought of bringing it up because... gosh. i really need to get going on doing somethign with my life. God's really just been yelling in my ear for the past week. i really gotta quit pushing Him aside and getting back on track. it's so crazy He's been sending me so many obvious obvious wake up calls... i'm just too much of a loser to listen.

went out with heidi tonite. after not seeing her for a whole entire week [her being at western and all] it was so great just to be able to chill. we went to mikeys and sat around with kat and amanda and pastor tim and uncle michael and auntie sandy =) just... relaly nice. and then we went to williams and i got a steamer :) that was really nice too. great fun :) girly time =) *grin* only downside. found out some stuff that made me all bleh.

and now. back to bleh. gosh do you ever get that horrible feeling in your gut... that feeling you get when you know someone you really care about doesn't care at all for you? i got this card from someone once that said "the greatest feeling in the world is the knowledge of being loved." well in the same way i think one of the worst feelings in the world is the knowledge of not being loved. i feel like someone took a knife and stabbed it into my chest and reached in and pulled my heart out. i have that feeling that i just want to scream and cry and cry... but i have no tears. so the feeling is all choked up inside. and it won't come out. it's just inside waiting.... waiting until it explodes and i will burst into a million broken pieces on the floor. i wish i would. then maybe i wouldn't feel so hopelessly shattered inside.

<<== and here it is again. as if we all haven't looked at it enough as it is... anyways.. to continue with my rant/story, my family and i were getting me a backpack and we drove by old navy which my mom was like "oh go in! just go look!" so i was like "k" and we went in. i bought a backpack blablabla and my ten year old sister goes to me as we're leaving "I want a rugby shirt!!!!" O_o i seriously can't believe it. gosh. why would anyone want those shirts? they aren't even really that nice and *plus* EVERYONE has one! it's like the commercial should be "if you want to be a clone, buy a rugby shirt!" which actually rugby players don't even wear =P at least dora doesn't. *anyhoo* my dislike of the rugby shirt is totally not the point of this.

see i was reading my *#1 Best's blog[>] and she was writing about her feelings this first week of gr. 11 and she said "being myself isn't ENOUGH to fit in." Gosh. wow. i never knew she felt that way. and i guess at first when i read it i could only think of about a million things to say to disagree with her saying she doesn't fit in cuz she does for sure in my eyes. all i could think of was to rant to her about how she's just really paranoid or whatever but then... i stopped for a moment. and thought to myself. well, jazz she can think whatever she wants and really, it's not your place to tell her how to feel. i can't say i can relate to her. i dont' get this feeling of not fitting in. but i think i can try to understand. i remember we got into this fight a few weeks ago... she said something to me that really shook me up... i can't remember the exact words but it was something like "i don't feel as if i'm as cool as you and so and so and i just feel like a big loser all the time" gosh i can't think of anything that freaked me out as much as that. this girl is my best friend. and i can't think of anyone who i'd rather be best friends with more than her. but i guess i can stand there and argue with her about how she really does fit in which she does and she's not a loser which she isn't but... i think i'd rather say to her that it doesn't matter about fitting in or not fitting in or whether or not you wear a rugby shirt or if you're the most popular girl in school or if you're the biggest geek in the history of the universe. i mean, honestly who really wants to be the same as everyone else? who sets the standards of what's cool and what's not? i think the people who go around judging others and thinking they are too good for them or whatever are the biggest losers because they lose out on meeting certain people that might have the most awesomest personalities... people who do that, or people that make you think "whoa...... am i WEIRD or something? or do i have a disease? hmmm.. or maybe both..." are either not worth your time or are giving these signals unintentionally.

i have to admit, after this first week and after thinking about this in great detail i realize i really need a huge attitude adjustment. i've been complaining to all my friends about how my classes suck so much on account of "all these weird people" being in them and how "so and so is a really big freak" and i'd have to say i am guilty of trying to ignore ppl who think they are my friends but i dont' consider them as such. the one girl in my chem class (her name is yimeng and she was in my latin class last year) she's really smart and she doesn't hang around the same group of people that i do. i don't like her. i don't like her because she said that if she was pregnant with a baby she'd "kill the thing" and also, she was saying stuff about my friend to people. but i realize that i don't only dislike her for those reasons. i think deep down i'm afraid that if i talk to her my image will go down or something stupid like that. i think i sort of prejudged her even before she did those things because i've always thought of her as "that weird smelly girl". it's really bad i know but i guess i've just never given it much thought. so anyways, in chem she came up behind me and like punched me in the back sorta and i looked up and she was like "HI!" like really happily as if she just found out that her best friend was in her class or something...and i was like "hi..." but i wasn't really friendly and i guess i didn't seem to want to talk to her. i feel so bad. i think that by having some strange idea in my mind that she was "such a loser" makes me such a loser. next week, i am resolving to really change my attitude and give everyone the chance they deserve. i'm going to toss the "i'm the center of the universe" act and just concentrate on loving everyone. afterall, i'm a Christian and as such i should display God's love to everyone. cuz He really *IS* the center of the universe and if he loved all these people so much that he'd die for them as well as me... then who am i to act like i'm better cuz i'm NOT. prayers would be helpful thanks. =) ... and to my #1: [i love you hun just like you are. don't ever dare change, and just screw all those stupid people who try to step on others to make themselves feel better, love yourself and everyone will love you =) they already do. =P] *muah*

<<==== The Rugby Shirt. from Old Navy...
we've all heard the commercials... "the rugby bunch! the rugby bunch!" and anymore and i might have to throw up. =P the other day i went out with my family to buy a backpack cuz my old one broke. and we happened to drive by Old Navy..
[to be continued......]

i was browsing through my friend's site... and found this pic of me somewhere @ UW. i have never even seen this pic before i don't remember it being taken. maybe i was really smashed or something cuz it looks like i'm trying to fly. LMAO!

... pensive. so much on my mind. i wanna let it out. let the thoughts break free from the prison walls of my mind. [rant time] but i can't. whom can i trust? or who can't i trust? i dont' know. i know i trust God. but sometimes it's not enough for me to just tell God. is that wrong? ... i like being comfortable in talking to people. being the outgoing type of person i easily start conversations with people, i can talk to the guys i like ^_~, i don't find it really really diffucult to open up to people about certain parts of my life. some people have the "opportunity" to experience knowing parts of me that i don't share with most other people. but now... i'm not sure... i'm not sure whether opening up those parts of myself was a good idea. it's made me vulnerable. internally naked. like, how is one to know whether people talk about them behind their back? or if those things that may have been intimate were shared amongst others that did not need to know? this is how it starts. this is how masks start. i'm afraid. afraid i'm on the verge of putting back on that mask. a front that everyone sees to be the truth when it is nothing but a costume to protect me from the fears inside my head. but i know it's too late. i have already revealed the real me and it will just be blantantly obvious to people that the mask i have on is just that-- a mask. i don't know -- i say that alot. i dont' know. i dont' know anything about anything. i am so confused abotu everything. you know what bugs me? one sided friendships. it bugs me more when i am the only person getting anything out of a friendship with someone. what the hell is the point of being friends with someone if you're the only one getting anything out of it? i hate that. i feel like a bother.. a burden. a pesky obligation that has to be dealt with in order for someone to ease their concience or make them feel self-righteous. and all i want to do is end it. so why is it that when you talk to people about this sort of thing they care so much? you would think taht they'd just want to ease their burden ... but no. maybe it really does make them feel really really good about themselves. well newsflash, it doesn't make me feel good at all. i don't know. i just don't know.



back to school again =P NNNNOOOOOOO..... today was the first day-- only an hour tho... i got my timetable... i don't have any classes with jo or kat but i have two with dora... other than that i know i have some stuff with robyn and adri but i didn't see anyone else after school today-- we left for mikeys =). my homeroom is ok... i know ppl but none of my closer friends are in my class =P anc. civ is my hmrm... which is good cuz i like history... good way to start off the morning. my teacher is reallllllllyyyy nice. and .... I HAVE DEWITTE FOR ENGLISH AGAIN! =D hoorah! [dewitte is the teacher i had in grade nine that LOVES me and lets me do whatever i want and oh yeah its' really really great =)] lalalalaladeeeddaaaaaa... my schedule's ok i guess. but i am going to have to be such a geek this year to do well. not fun. i'm hoping it wont'; be as hard as i think .... geekiness just really doesn't suit me. =P



so yeah that's my mini update on life... kinda depressing but hey i have good news too ... an issue that was going on was somewhat resolved today which is awesome and .... i turn sixteen in 12 days!!!!!! *^_^* yippeee :)

breathe. in.... out..... in... out....
first day back tommorow. i hate school. i mean, the social aspect is great but... it doesn't make up for the academic part. plus omg what if none of my good friends are in my homeroom?! i might die.
i gotta.. i need to call someone or something.

yay! jo changed my colour scheme for me =) thanks hun! ... it takes me so long to figure out which part changes which part of the blog... *sigh* illiteracy. we have just spent the nite being carefree and happy... and now she's gone ... leaving me to the darker things of life.
*inhale exhale* happy thoughts.. happy thoughts...

ice cream is one of the happiest things i can think of [ thanks gladys! =D ]
i love love love ice cream... my favourite kind is chocolate chip cookie dough =) yummmmmm .. i love cookie dough too! i like it raw. some ppl think that's gross but seriously try it it's amazing... kinda like sushi how everyone's like ew sick raw meat... like i used to be but then you try it and it's like WOWEE!! ... i think i wanna try something new now.. and be pleasantly surprised. pleasant things are nice.. like icecream... [hey wow. if you go back to the top of this paragraph it goes "pleasant things are nice... like icecream... icecream is one of the happiest things i can think of...]
and around and around it goes. how cool. my mind is spinning.
o/~let's leave oh let's get away... get lost in time... where there's no reason left to hide...o/~ *Creed