the cute virginity blog has been postponed until tommorow. tonight i have urgent ranting business to do in order to control myself from exploding in person. *supresss anngerrr... beee hummbbbllllleeee* it is SO SO HARD. gosh you have no idea. i suppose it is ok to feel stuff tho if i dont' react in an extremely negative manner... so i'm gonna try to let out all the negative energy here...


first off let me begin by saying how incredibly lucky i am to have a friend like Jesus. [ok it sounds like i'm accepting an oscar] btu seriously... friends come and go but He is always loving me.. always with me. i do value friends very highly though... perhaps too highly. at cell on saturday someone ... i think euming... said that girls can be so manipulative . let me tell you how true that is. ok. well... icq. you know how there is that neat little feature on icq called the "invisible list" in which you can place the icq numbers of the ppl you dont' want to talk to so that they can never see you online? well well well... this is something i use very rarely but when i do it's to block ppl that i dont' know who keep bugging me with sexual remarks or something. it is an INSULT to put someone on your invisible list. or for me anyways. and it's an insult to be on someone else's. gosh gosh gosh.... maybe i'm reacting to this so greatly because i dont'think i've ever been put on anyone's invisible list before... well before now. i think my number one pet peeve is to be ignored. ignoring someone... i find, is the LOWEST form of anger. the scum of all ways in which to deal with conflict. what? so you can't face up to me? you can't fight it out or make some sort of effort to resolve your grievances against me? what the hell. even when i'm completely pissed off i still at least respond to ppl and whatever and not go IGNORING them or putting them on my INVISIBLE list! gosh ppl would have to do something pretty dang mean to me in order for me to do something so drastic as to stick them on that list. well today i found out [don't ask me how... i have my ways... and yes i know for sure] that someone whom i *thought* was my "friend" [i scoff at the thought of that crap. this person to me now is nothign but the the lowly creatures that feed on the scum of the dirtiest pond water... ok. yes.. ] placed me on their invisible list. first off what an IMMATURE thing to do. yeah ok you call ME immature? right. whatever who's immature now? you arent' even mature enough to come up to me and tell me you dont' want to talk to me anymore. in fact in person you act almost completely normal but yeah that's right i can tell things are different even though you pretend not to be mad. gosh yo that was a month ago that all that crap happened and you're still pissed about that ?? why dont' you just go get a life honestly. and dont' tell me your'e not mad if you are. i don't care if you are or if you dont' want to talk to me! i do care however about the manner in which you deliver it. gosh dont' freakin lie about it and don't put me on your invisible list on icq. tell the truth and TELL ME if you dont' want to talk to me and i will deal. it is always your choice. not that i did anything but hey whatever. as long as i know and your'e not going on letting me think that we're friends but really we're not. you don't know... you can't possibly know how that feels... it really really hurts. i don't think you'll ever know about this. i dont' think you read my blog and i am never going to call you or email you or any means of communication. in person trust that i will do as you have done and act as if nothing has changed but inside, i'll dislike you more than you will ever know. and you definitely will not find out on icq because i have returned your favour.