letter to my Heavenly Father
Dear God...
grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change...
oh but i just can't understand WHY!!... i'm sorry. you said "My command is this... love one another as i have loved you"
i *know* that ... i do ... then why does this hurt so much Lord? WHY is it that no matter how hard i try.... i still end up crying... screaming... spewing out words of impecable hatred... i just....
Betrayal. the very word sets off the situation in my mind and i cringe as the image of the person i thought was my friend stabbing me in the gut races throught my head and the tears fill my eyes again oh Lord there are so many tears.
i think of you Jesus.. You know betrayal. Two of your "best friends" betrayed and abandoned you in your darkest hour here Lord you understand like no one else could... and yet you cried out "Father forgive them for they know not what they do... " teach me oh Lord.. i want to walk in your truth.. give me an undivided heart.. i need you so much...
i think ineed to talk to the person and then i need to let go. but Jesus ... right now... could you just hold me... please.