amnesia

remind me again
how to
relax,
smile with my teeth,
go crazy,
laugh and try hard to stop but
can't.
how do i
tell jokes
get excited
really excited for more than
just a minute to remember how not to
sigh loudly
rub the back of my neck and my temples
stare off into nowhere for hours
call and cry and complain at weird times

and then remember i have nothing to say because
i'm happy.
remind me again,
how to be
carefree.