oh four is born again.

I'm starting the year over. It started poorly and I refuse to have a bad year. There's too much to do without it being emotionally difficult as well.
For me personally, 2003 wasn't too bad... in fact, the first half .. three quarters was great... i think the "badness" of the year didn't begin until shortly after my seventeenth birthday. And counting "years" in terms of age, i'd say sixteen was amazing while seventeen holds a more difficult and painful place in my mind. Not trying to say seventeen is an "unlucky" age or whatever... but that's just how circumstances ended up in my case.

Since 2004 began, I've cried everyday, gotten myself into three disagreements in three days, fallen into temptation innumerable times, and until last night, i couldn't bring myself to pray. It's frustrating, ending off last year really well and then... coming into something so... crazy. or rather, becoming someone displaying characteristics i thought i'd left behind. not that i expect things to be perfect, myself to be perfect, but it's just scary that what is supposed to be a new beginning is taking off in such a negative manner.

so i'm starting over. two thousand and four is going to be amazing.
if there was ever a time for self-fulfilling prophesy it would be now.
you're going to see a new, better me. :)

five four three two one. happy new year.