why?
and once again i am filled with false hope. like cherry coke you fill me with air that tricks me into believing i am satisfied and yet moments later you will dash my dreams and make me crave your presence once again.. the sweet taste only just lingering there reminding me of how much i want you to be there. i search everywhere for you. at every vending machine turning my head twice to see those black letters read your name. anticipating. waiting. waiting for the time that i will no longer be some sort of shadow in the back of your mind. why did you have to lift the reciever? like your hand has cast some sort of magic spell over me and as you spoke joy and relief rushed into me like a wave of moisture in the driest desert. and yet those few precious moments had to fade away so quickly... but not without a promise... the promise of return. at first, i could think of nothing more i wanted to do than to throw my arms around you in fond embrace however impossible but now... now i am just angry. "don't make me promises! baby you never did know how to keep them well" but your voice... i almost believe you. "is this how it ends with a simple telephone call?.. you leave me here, with nothing at all."
but still... "you know i'd walk a thousand miles if i could just see you..."
i miss you.