my eyes moisten. and i blink. as if holding it in will make it less real.
but i'm fooling myself because the reality is, all i hope for for next year is so lost.
already someone who doesn't want it has taken one spot. and i know of another who i'm pretty sure has one too. it's only february.
and there are less than 463 spots left.
there is no room for me.
there never is.

screw this. screw everything.
why do i even give a crap?